Yesterday I was tagged in a post by an old high school friend, asking me and a few others a very public, direct question about white privilege and racism. I feel compelled not only to publish his query but also my response to it, as it may be a helpful discourse for more than just a handful of folks on Facebook. Here’s his post:
“To all of my Black or mixed race FB friends, I must profess a blissful ignorance of this “White Privilege” of which I’m apparently guilty of possessing. By not being able to fully put myself in the shoes of someone from a background/race/religion/gender/nationality/body type that differs from my own makes me part of the problem, according to what I’m now hearing. Despite my treating everyone with respect and humor my entire life (as far as I know), I’m somehow complicit in the misfortune of others. I’m not saying I’m colorblind, but whatever racism/sexism/other-ism my life experience has instilled in me stays within me, and is not manifested in the way I treat others (which is not the case with far too many, I know).
So that I may be enlightened, can you please share with me some examples of institutional racism that have made an indelible mark upon you? If I am to understand this, I need people I know personally to show me how I’m missing what’s going on. Personal examples only. I’m not trying to be insensitive, I only want to understand (but not from the media). I apologize if this comes off as crass or offends anyone.”
Here’s my response:
Hi, Jason. First off, I hope you don’t mind that I’ve quoted your post and made it part of mine. I think the heart of what you’ve asked of your friends of color is extremely important and I think my response needs much more space than as a reply on your feed. I truly thank you for wanting to understand what you are having a hard time understanding.
Coincidentally, over the last few days I have been thinking about sharing some of the incidents of prejudice/racism I’ve experienced in my lifetime – in fact I just spoke with my sister Lesa about how to best do this yesterday – because I realized many of my friends – especially the white ones – have no idea what I’ve experienced/dealt with unless they were present (and aware) when it happened. There are two reasons for this : 1) because not only as a human being do I suppress the painful and uncomfortable in an effort to make it go away, I was also taught within my community (I was raised in the ‘70s & ‘80s – it’s shifted somewhat now) and by society at large NOT to make a fuss, speak out, or rock the boat. To just “deal with it,” lest more trouble follow (which sadly, it often does). 2) Fear of being questioned or dismissed with “Are you sure that’s what you heard?” or “Are you sure that’s what they meant?” and being angered and upset all over again by well-meaning-but-hurtful and essentially unsupportive responses.
So, again, I’m glad you asked, because I really want to answer. But as I do, please know a few things first: 1) This is not even close to the whole list. I’m cherrypicking because none of us have all day. 2) I’ve been really lucky. Most of what I share below is mild compared to what others in my family and community have endured. 3) I’m going to go in chronological order so you might begin to glimpse the tonnage and why what many white folks might feel is a “Where did all of this come from?” moment in society has been festering individually and collectively for the LIFETIME of pretty much every black or brown person living in America today regardless of wealth or opportunity. 4)Some of what I share covers sexism, too – intersectionality is another term I’m sure you’ve heard and want to put quotes around, but it’s a real thing, too, just like white privilege. But you’ve requested a focus on personal experiences with racism, so here it goes:
1. When I was 3, my family moved into an upper-middle class, all-white neighborhood. We had a big backyard, so my parents built a pool. Not the only pool on the block, but the only one neighborhood boys started throwing rocks into. White boys. One day my mom ID’d one as the boy from across the street, went to his house, told his mother and fortunately, his mother believed mine. My mom not only got an apology, but also had that boy jump in our pool and retrieve every single rock. No more rocks after that. Then Mom even invited him to come over to swim sometime if he asked permission. Everyone became friends. This one has a happy ending because my mom was and is badass about matters like these, but I hope you can see that the white privilege in this situation is being able to move into a “nice” neighborhood and be accepted not harassed, made to feel unwelcome, or prone to acts of vandalism and hostility.
2. When my older sister was 5, a white boy named Mark called her a “nigger” after she beat him in a race at school. She didn’t know what it meant but in her gut, she knew it was bad. This was the first time I’d seen my father the kind of angry that has nowhere to go. I somehow understood it was because not only had some boy verbally assaulted his daughter and had gotten away with it, it had way too early introduced her (and me) to that term and the reality of what it meant – that some white people would be cruel and careless with black people’s feelings just because of our skin color. Or our achievement. If it’s unclear in any way, the point here is if you’ve NEVER had a defining moment in your childhood or your life, where you realize your skin color alone makes other people hate you, you have white privilege.
3. Sophomore year of high school. I had Mr. Melrose for Algebra 2. Some time within the first few weeks of class, he points out that I’m “the only spook” in the class. This was meant to be funny. It wasn’t. So, I doubt it will surprise you I was relieved when he took medical leave after suffering a heart attack and was replaced by a sub for the rest of the semester. The point here is if you’ve never been ‘the only one’ of your race in a class, at a party, on a job, etc. and/or it’s been pointed out in a “playful” fashion by the authority figure in said situation – you have white privilege.
4. When we started getting our college acceptances senior year, I remember some white male classmates pissed that another black classmate had gotten into UCLA while they didn’t. They said that affirmative action had given him “their spot” and it wasn’t fair. An actual friend of theirs. Who’d worked his ass off. The point here is if you’ve never been on the receiving end of the assumption that when you’ve achieved something it’s only because it was taken away from a white person who “deserved it” – that is white privilege.
5. When I got accepted to Harvard (as a fellow AP student you were witness to what an academic beast I was in high school, yes?), three separate times I encountered white strangers as I prepped for my maiden trip to Cambridge that rankle to this day. The first was the white doctor giving me a physical at Kaiser: Me: “I need to send an immunization report to my college so I can matriculate.” Doctor: “Where are you going?” Me: “Harvard.” Doctor: “You mean the one in Massachusetts?” The second was in a store, looking for supplies I needed from Harvard’s suggested “what to bring with you” list. Store employee: “Where are you going?” Me: “Harvard.” Store employee: “You mean the one in Massachusetts?” The third was at UPS, shipping off boxes of said “what to bring” to Harvard. I was in line behind a white boy mailing boxes to Princeton, and in front of a white woman sending her child’s boxes to wherever. Woman, to the boy: “What college are you going to?” Boy: “Princeton.” Woman: “Congratulations!” Woman, to me: “Where are you sending your boxes?” Me: “Harvard.” Woman: “You mean the one in Massachusetts?” I think: “No bitch, the one downtown next to the liquor store.” But I say, gesturing to my LABELED boxes: “Yes, the one in Massachusetts.” Then she says congratulations but it’s too fucking late. The point here is if no one has ever questioned your intellectual capabilities or attendance at an elite institution based solely on your skin color, that is white privilege.
6. In my freshman college tutorial, our small group of 4-5 was assigned to read Thoreau, Emerson, Malcolm X, Joseph Conrad, Dreiser, etc. When it was the week to discuss “The Autobiography of Malcolm X” one white boy boldly claimed he couldn’t even get through it because he couldn’t relate and didn’t think he should be forced to read it. I don’t remember the words I said, but I still remember the feeling – I think it’s what doctors refer to as chandelier pain – as soon as a sensitive area on a patient is touched, they shoot through the roof – that’s what I felt. I know I said something like my whole life I’ve had to read “things that don’t have anything to do with me or that I relate to” but I find a way anyway because that’s what learning is about – trying to understand other people’s perspectives. The point here is – the canon of literature studied in the United States, as well as the majority of television and movies – have focused primarily on the works or achievements of white men. So if you have never experienced or considered how damaging it is/was/could be to grow up without myriad role models and images in school that reflect you in your required reading material or in the mainstream media – that is white privilege.
7. All seniors at Harvard are invited to a fancy, seated group lunch with our respective dorm Masters. (Yes, they were called “Masters” up until this February when they changed it to “Faculty Deans,” but that’s just a tasty little side dish to the main course of this remembrance). While we were being served by the Dunster House cafeteria staff – the black ladies from Haiti and Boston that ran the line daily; I still remember Jackie’s kindness and warmth to this day – Master Sally mused out loud how proud they must be to be serving the nation’s best and brightest. I don’t know if they heard her, but I did and it made me uncomfortable and sick. The point here is, if you’ve never been blindsided when you are just trying to enjoy a meal by a well-paid faculty member’s patronizing and racist assumptions about how grateful black people must feel to be in their presence – you have white privilege.
8. While writing on a television show in my 30s, my new white male boss – who had only known me for a few days – had unbeknownst to me told another writer on staff he thought I was conceited, didn’t know as much I thought I did, and didn’t have the talent I thought I had. And what exactly had happened in those few days? I disagreed with a pitch where he suggested our lead female character carelessly leave a pot holder on the stove and burn down her apartment. This character being a professional caterer. When what he said about me was revealed months later (by then he’d come to respect and rely on me), he apologized for prejudging me because I was a black woman. I told him he was ignorant and clearly had a lot to learn. It was a good talk because he was remorseful and open. But the point here is, if you’ve never been on the receiving end of a boss’s prejudiced, uninformed “how dare she question my ideas” badmouthing based on solely on his ego and your race, you have white privilege.
9. On my very first date with my now husband, I climbed into his car and saw baby wipes on the passenger side floor. He said he didn’t have kids, they were just there to clean up messes in the car. I twisted to secure my seatbelt and saw a stuffed animal in the rear window. I gave him a look. He said “I promise, I don’t have kids. That’s only there so I don’t get stopped by the police.” He then told me that when he drove home from work late at night, he was getting stopped by cops constantly because he was a black man in a luxury car and they assumed it was either stolen or he was a drug dealer. When he told a cop friend about this, he told Warren to put a stuffed animal in the rear window because it would change “his profile” to that of a family man and he was much less likely to be stopped. The point here is, if you’ve never had to mask the fruits of your success with a floppy-eared, stuffed bunny rabbit so you won’t get harassed by the cops on the way home from your gainful employment (or never had a first date start this way), you have white privilege.
10. Six years ago, I started a Facebook page that has grown into a website called Good Black News because I was shocked to find there were no sites dedicated solely to publishing the positive things black people do. (And let me explain here how biased the coverage of mainstream media is in case you don’t already have a clue – as I curate, I can’t tell you how often I have to swap out a story’s photo to make it as positive as the content. Photos published of black folks in mainstream media are very often sullen or angry-looking. Even when it’s a positive story! I also have to constantly alter headlines to 1) include a person’s name and not have it just be “Black Man Wins Settlement” or “Carnegie Hall Gets 1st Black Board Member” or 2) rephrase it from a subtle subjugator like “ABC taps Viola Davis as Series Lead” to “Viola Davis Lands Lead on ABC Show” as is done for say, Jennifer Aniston or Steven Spielberg.) I also receive a fair amount of highly offensive racist trolling. I don’t even respond. I block and delete ASAP. The point here is – not having to rewrite stories, headlines or swap photos while being trolled by racists when all you’re trying to do on a daily basis is promote positivity and share stories of hope and achievement and justice – that is white privilege.
Okay, Jason, there’s more but I’m exhausted. And my kids need dinner. Remembering and reliving many of these moments has been a strain and a drain (and again, this ain’t even the half or the worst of it). But I hope my experiences shed some light for you on how institutional and personal racism have affected the entire life of a friend of yours to whom you’ve only been respectful and kind. I hope what I’ve shared makes you realize it’s not just strangers but people you know and care for who have suffered and are suffering because we are excluded from the privilege you have to not be judged, questioned or assaulted in any way because of your race.
As to you “being part of the problem,” trust me, nobody is mad at you for being white. Nobody. Just like nobody should be mad at me for being black. Or female. Or whatever. But what IS being asked of you is to acknowledge that white privilege DOES exist and to not only to treat people of races that differ from yours “with respect and humor,” but also to stand up for fair treatment and justice, to not let “jokes” or “off-color” comments by friends, co-workers or family slide by without challenge, and to continually make an effort to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, so we may all cherish and respect our unique and special contributions to society as much as we do our common ground.
With much love and respect,
Lori
“Got Privilege?” image provided by Maeve Richardson
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Fabulous. Sad. Truth. I hope it helps your friend understand. Thank you for a top ten list no one should ever have to write. Thank you for digging up, and sharing, those hurtful memories. Thank you for your strength.
I am sorry that you had bad experiences. Still, the fact that there are people who make assumptions on gender, race ory religion does not create a ‘privilege’ because we have all been judged by our looks or background. I’m not sure that creating ‘nerd-looking privilege’ has ever been articulated, but as a young attractive female academic I was constantly challenged on my ideas simply because I didn’t conform to the accepted standards. What about ‘male privilege’ for football lovers? My list could go on and on. We are all judged by superficial markers and the only way to solve this, in my experience, is to keep focusing on our common grounds and contributions, not on our differences, or succumbing to the ideology of victimhood.
I think what you just shared is another example of “white privilege.” The topic is about “white privilege” and not about “nerd-looking privilege.” You basically dismissed her article and made it all about you. I don’t want you to think I am angry in any way because I am not. Try reading the article again and stay in the author’s shoes and try and imagine how painful it was for her. Remember, she said she was exhausted when she almost finished the article. Talking about painful memories is exhausting.
It’s not about creating privilege, it’s accepting that it’s already there, has been there and generations of families have either benefited from it or dealt with the negative consequences. Focusing on the common grounds and contributions is only productive or efficient when people accept the notion that others have an advantage over some.
If/when people are willing to have this conversation it’ll be ground breaking. But to make comments that an article talking about the struggles of an individual experience is “Succumbing to the ideology of victimhoood.” I truly hope, especially as a woman, you are never in a position where you are wronged and blamed for it. As someone who tries not to conform to accepted standards, the standard for combating prejudice, discrimination and privilege is not pointing fingers at others but asking ourselves do my actilons perpetuate hate? Do I remain quiet when friends and family speak lowly of others?
Racism isn’t printed loudly in newspapers anymore. It’s behind closed doors.
I am white i left home at 17 was on my own. I went from an upper middle class family to being poor, so I didn’t have or take advantage of so called white privelige. I was called a cracker and other names. Recently i was called a karen lol i wish. I lived in an all black town and had a black friend say I don’t like white people but i like you because your my friend. Racism comes mostly from what parents teach their children. I have 4 bi racial children. My mom never really knew them because she was racist. Sad
Whew!
I LOVED THIS! I agree 100% with Every point you brought out.
well here is someone who hasn’t understood the article at all. Totally gone past them! I just bet they were first with the BLUE LIVES MATTER and ALL LIVES MATTER nonsense. If I were black, in America, I would be long dead, having exploded once too often in the face of such ignorance. Bah.
It is true. I grew up in a place where my religion was different than everyone else but we shared the same skin color. We (me and my siblings) were not treated well and very frequently bullied and made to sit away from the rich majority religion right here in America.
Being discriminated against because of your religion is NOT the same thing as being discriminated against because of the color of your skin. Stop trying to equate the two because there IS a difference between them and the difference is….
You can hide your religion, but you cannot, by NO means, hide your skin color.
Oh yes, same thing. Being treated unfairly for not looking nerdy and experiencing racism……same thing! (Insert sarcasm)
I think I could describe several examples of ignorance and biased thinking…. but why bother if my experience is not relevant? Sharon please examine your statement and make an honest attempt to see that you are exercising privilege (as it was explained to me anyways), and just as the racist in the past, only get away with it because it is a socially acceptable version… and feel free to insert sarcasm in my reply wherever it makes you feel better
I think your missing the whole point here. So you read this whole article and still found a way to make this about yourself, You just proved her point to be honest with you.
Can we stop with the victim Olympics? Yes women white women have issues. Yes white men have issues but by bringing up your angst in response to someone sharing what they go through baby that’s white privilege. Can you not be the center?
The problem with focusing on commonalities instead of the differences that are completely real and cause untold suffering at the hands of the current system is this:
You can’t fix something if you don’t acknowledge that the problem exists.
You want to be part of the solution, don’t you? I know that confronting the pain of systemic discrimination is painful. Consider how much MORE painful it is to LIVE with being the target of systemic discrimination.
And so, my fellow white lady, as someone who was ALSO a young attractive female academic (and engineer in a male-dominated field for a decades-long career), I will tell you to get over yourself and your discomfort at discussing this, read “White Fragility” and other anti-racist books (https://www.powells.com/featured/antiracism) and work every day to understand and do better.
I’m at @ cosmiquemuffin on Twitter if you’d like to take the conversation further, and would like an anti-racism accountability partner to work with.
Hi Lori,
Thank you for taking time out to (a) reply to your friend, but (b) share your message with the world.
It is incredibly frustrating to endure what we have had to endure for our lifetimes – let alone generations before us, and our ancestors. White privilege has blinded the whole world it has secured its position through the Eurocentric white supremacist version of history that has been foisted on the world.
I hope it will not be too long before you get a chance to answer your friend regarding the shock and consternation he will be racked with inside his being, when he discovers our true identity and the heritage that has been erased from history that will be known by all the world soon.
Thank you again for sharing. Stay blessed.
I am happy to have discovered this educational and thought provoking editorial. The lack of kindness for all mankind has always troubled me and the recent events has me focusing more thoughts about it. I am a 58 yo white male who grew up in a upper middle class family. I and my four older siblings were taught to always be kind and respectful to all of God’s children. In my younger years I was completely ignorant of “white privilege” and shamefully admittedly still am, but fortunately to a much lesser degree. I feel or at least I hope the current attention on the matter will lead to positive changes. I know for myself, I attempt to avoid being self absorbed and to think of others and their life challenges. Thank you for sharing and I will continue to seek opportunities to be educated and foster positive righteous change.
I think that it is unfortunate that no one of color has ever had to be on the receiving end of looks of hatred and contempt. Just for being white. For things that happened long before I was alive. You moved into a nice neighborhood. ONE ignorant white BOY threw rocks in a pool. You seem to equate that to ALL white people. The MAJOR MAJORITY’ of white people would have taken pleasure in Smacking that brat upside his head. I have not been a rich or well off white person. I have always worked hard. When I was pregnant and in need I was told that I was the wrong color and would not be approved. This was in the nineties. I have never treated any person as a lesser human being because of the color of their skin. I also know that sometimes people perceive racist notions , such as being watched in a store and think it is because of their color or race. Not often the case. If you are in my store, lurking around in a fricking hoodie, I am.going to perceive you as someone I need to watch. No matter what color you are. How you put yourself and your intentions out into the world is paramount to how you will be received.
I ache and hurt about what was said to your sister. I got into a lot of conflict in school because I never let an incident like that get by in my presence. I would definitely have said something and probably head butted that jerk in the face. I am sorry that no one else stood up and said. That Is Not Okay. I believe that is how most everyone felt. People must stand up to this minority of jerks. They are a major minority.
This a response to her white friend. If she equated this to ALL white oeople, she would not have white friends. No where in the article did I sense she equated this to ALL white people and you are not culpable for what your ancestors did. You can be culpable though, for not doing what you can to end it or for perpetuating it. The thing about orivilege is that it is iften invisible to the person that has it.
It was quite recognizable that what the boys did was based on ignorance or it would have been useless going to the mother to report the one boy. It seems you missed the fact that it was multiple boys, only the one got caught. All those boys would represent quite a number of families in the neighborhood who somehow missed teaching their boys about diversity. What it shows is that they had absorbed a lesson that their new black neighbors were somehow ‘other than’ and deserved rocks in their pools. I’m sure all their parents would be mortified but ignorance is not bliss.
Also, know that the difficulties you face as working class white does not somehow make racism any better. We can’t argue for one ‘ism’ above another. Can you believe that the majority of black people are working class too? Whaaaat? They have to deal with both classism and racism, being immediately judged as lazy, ignorant, angry and irresponsible on sight before they even put in any effort? Such victims… how dare they complain while you suffer a lack of ‘white privilege’?!!!
“I also know that sometimes people perceive racist notions , such as being watched in a store and think it is because of their color or race. Not often the case. If you are in my store, lurking around in a fricking hoodie, I am.going to perceive you as someone I need to watch. No matter what color you are. How you put yourself and your intentions out into the world is paramount to how you will be received.”
Most black people wear hoodies and people atomatically think their about to steal, if wearing a hoodie is seen as “we know your going to steal something” then the world is messed up.
Your not black so you don’t really understand it, You don’t understand walking into a store and you see the cash register eyeing you everywhere you go but your just in the store to buy a drink or some snacks but you can’t do that peacefully because your black and your seen as someone that ” looks sneaky and is about to steal” If wearing hoodie out in the public is perserved as sketchy then why are they making hoodies then.
It’s natural for someone to compare their experiences of mistreatment to their own past. Can some people hide their differences, sure. Is racism worse than religious persecution, sure. This is an article on educating a white man about white privilege and Lori accomplished that, brilliantly. She educated me as well. This world needs more of that. More education on insensitivity is something we all need. However, I do not believe that education on specific types of insensitivity is enough. The fact that people are black, or brown, dress differently, or have a specific body type just makes it easy for those who would treat people poorly. to do so What we need education about is the very root of a human’s behavior that drives them to treat different people differently. Categorizing it simply addresses certain types of persecution. It all needs to be stopped. You do it, I do it, everyone in existence has prejudged someone and allowed it to influence their treatment of that person. It’s so much more complicated than simply bringing our attention to racism, religious persecution, body shaming and cancel culture. It all needs to stop but likely never will. It took many mass shootings even to recognize the damage done by bullying. The world needs to collectively pull its head out of its ass to see that it is never okay to mistreat someone.
Thank you.
Thank you. I heard about this from a friend and am glad that I can share.
Thank you so much for sharing and to your friend for sharing with you!
Amazing post! I’m reading this and nodding my head because I’ve experienced almost all of this on your list! Would you allow me to reblog thid awesome post?
Absolutely. Please reblog, share – and thank you!!
As a white British writer writing a novel set in America (Dust by Mark Thompson – published by Red Door in UK, and as ‘El Greco Und Ich’ by Mare Verlag in Germany, and as Dust in Chinese by Donmay Publishing in Taiwan), I tried to capture a sense of the inequalities I have witnessed when travelling through your beautiful land. I think that as an observer I have been A. shocked and appalled by what I observed, and B. able to put that on paper with a clarity that perhaps an American writer would struggle to see? It seems ironic to me that I referenced the 60s and 70s in my novel – and it shocks me to realise that so little has changed in US society. Your Editorial has made me realise what is actually meant by ‘white privilege’…. Thank you for an insightful and disturbing editorial. Change must surely come….
Americans know more about this country than you. I will not read your book
Thank you Lori. I remember you from High School and I am sitting here seething what you’ve endured, especially knowing that any/all of our Af-Am classmates have the same stories to tell. You are much more generous with “Jason” than I would have been – which is a lesson in grace I’ll take away from your post (among many other)
Lara. Lori’s response to Jason was appropriate and more productive than a “less generous” response might be. His question was valid, honest and productive. Had Lori attacked Jason for his understandable ignorance, I would have missed out on an incredible and eye-opening read. These types of ‘generous’ conversations will bring about the needed change much more quickly than violent attacks on what many do not yet understand. All of us will benefit by taking Lori’s ‘generous’ example and sharing it in a like manner.
This so well articulates what some people need to hear. I particularly appreciate learning about how this site, that I have valued and subscribed to for a while, came into being. A heartfelt thank you for taking the time to write and share!
Thank you, Barbara, so much – your support means everything!
I read your stories and feel no surprise, only sadness.
I’m truly dismayed I cannot take away any of your load. I’ve seen and processed many incedences that have affected my spirit. I’ve stepped into divides of injustice many time too. Instinctively I knew I could make a difference by stepping up. I know even that truth is white privilidge. I walk a thin line daily that affects my spirit. I see, hear, anticipate, become enraged and weep for all who live this existence.
I empathize and feel even that is white privilidge.
“Look! I’m a GOOD white person!”
Excellent virtue signaling, lady. You’re one of the good ones, right?
You know what, Joe? You’re being a dick here. And in your comment above as well. Please, stop commenting if you can’t be kind. Seriously.
I’m sure you have “black friends” too, huh?
It is terribly sad when solidarity and attempts to understand one another are given so much hostility.
From the bottom of my heart I feel grateful for your beautiful spirit. I have come to learn that white folk standing up against the ugliness of ignorance is one of the most powerful triggers to change. I hope you find it in your heart to spread that view to others
Your article is brilliant. After reading several paragraphs I felt so sad I cried. I have been a recipient of white privilege all my life. Even though I am part native tribe my blond hair gives way for people to ignore my high cheekbones and darker skin than usual for Scandinavian peoples. I did not inherit racism from my parents, they were at heart, kind and unbiased people. Society was another matter. I didn’t understand how people treated each other so badly, so violently. It’s not an excuse. Having white privilege and benefitting from it made me part of the problem. I want to apologize for my own ignorance and that of others in my generation, the 50s and 60s. What you experienced and continue to experience is shameful and sickening. People who don’t understand how hurtful and violent racism is need to grow up and wake up. I for one, will be more active in voicing my disgust at those who make comments, no matter how small, against anyone because of the color of their skin. I’ve confronted people for less, now it is time to call them out. Again, I am so sorry for all your woundings and for the reprehensible attitudes and actions or inactions of others. Go carefully “Out among ’em.”
I am 72 years old and remember my grade advisor at Erasmus Hall High School in Brooklyn because he wanted to place me into a general education program and remove me from the college bound, academic program. Fortunately, my mother put a stop to his nonsense. His name was Mr. West and he told me that I would end up a “domestic”. The day I completed my first Master’s degree, I encountered him, and was happy to inform him about my achievements. I learned early that anyone who tells me I cannot do something, fires my determination. Mr. West was white and years later I learned he was in the American Nazi party. How many lives did he ruin, I have often wondered. Thank you for your post. Dr. Lois Blades Rosado
Thank you for sharing your remembrance, Dr. Rosado, and for persevering against such bigotry!
Thank you for sharing this post.
I read it all and now I understand. I didn’t. I do. Thank you for it. I go forward with a different mindset.
great!
I’m white. My wife is black. We have a 15 year old son, who doesn’t identify as one or the other because it’s never seemed necessary. I have a white nephew who is soon going to become a police officer. For as long as I can remember, on every form (governmental or otherwise) that has asked for my race, I’ve put “Human”. We had an intern (a white male) at my company a couple years ago to whom, when he told me he was from Harvard, I am pretty sure I responded, “You mean the one in Massachusetts?”. If he had said he went to Princeton, I probably would have just said “congratulations” because honestly until I just looked it up I didn’t know for certain where it was.
Obviously, privilege exists, and there are all kinds of privilege. There is wealth privilege, good-looking privilege, famous privilege, etc. If you’re visually indistinguishable from the clear majority in many places, then you have “majority privilege”. We’re talking about that in the US right now, where we have our faults and all the world gets to see them, but of course majority privilege exists elsewhere – arguably everywhere. The color of one’s skin is the basis for overt and implicit discrimination on every continent and country. Very often other features are part of the majority feature profile – i.e., the shape of your eyes, the color of your hair, etc. Other countries get to hide it because they’re either more homogeneous, censor their media or simply smaller and attract less attention.
Overall I think it’s a good thing to be public about our faults as a country, and the fact that we’re not alone (nor the worst offender) doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep trying to do better. We can do better and I think undoubtedly, in spite of much commentary to the contrary, have changed for the better over my lifetime (I’m 50). I think it is important to acknowledge that as well, and denial that there has been improvement since the 60’s or whatever is just that – denial.
I do think it is unfortunate that the term “white privilege” is the one that has caught on, as I think it is somewhat inflammatory. I read the article and it’s well written, but I doubt that most white people will read it because of the implicit accusation the term seems to carry. “White privilege” will strike many as a demand for an apology, aimed indiscriminately at a whole bunch of people who have nothing to apologize for, along with a relative handful who do. I confess that has always been my internal reaction to it.
After this article I think I get it a little bit more, but I wish someone could change the terminology. Something less accusatory would go a long way towards getting people to tune in, and come across a whole lot less as “us vs. them”
A.C., It’s great that you read this article and feel like you learned something. Not patronizing you – I mean that genuinely. I learned too. I have some thoughts about things that you wrote though. Attacking people online is not my thing, so that is not what this is. Rather, I have taken time to thoughtfully write about where I disagree and maybe it might have an impact on how you see these things.
> You mentioned that your wife is black, and that you have a son who doesn’t identify as either. I’m not sure why you included this info. Being the white husband of a black woman with a bi-racial son does not exempt you from having unconscious bias. Interracial couples talk about this all the time. So while there is nothing wrong per se with including these facts, I just don’t know what the point is?
> You mentioned asking a white intern if the Harvard he graduated from was “the one in Massachusetts.” The implication of your comment is to cast doubt on whether someone asking Lori the same question could be racist — or at the very least, insensitive. That’s a problem. You weren’t there. Lori was. She saw the body language. She heard the tone. She’s a smart woman – she knows what her experience was. It might not have been your intent, but you mansplained her. More importantly, please go back to the second paragraph of the article where Lori talks about saying nothing when she was younger out fear of being questioned or dismissed. Your example dismisses her experience.
(Side note: is there another Harvard not in Massachusetts? Google gives me nothing, so assuming there isn’t, asking this question can only express doubt — which means it was probably insulting to the intern too who maybe didn’t look the part of a smart kid.)
> You are right. Things have improved since the Civil Rights Movement. You mention people denying that, but I don’t know anyone who would disagree with you on that point. The issue is that things haven’t improved enough. If someone told me in 1980 that we’d still be dealing with this level of racial inequality in 2020, I wouldn’t have believed it. We need to shorten that arc of justice.
> The most important point and why I wanted to reply, is your comments on “white privilege.” You find it inflammatory, accusatory and a demand for an apology. I understand that you might feel that way, but I don’t think it needs to be so triggering. I hope by sharing the way I see it, it might reframe it for you so that it isn’t so charged. “White privilege” simply means that, because I am white, there are things as I go about my life that I don’t have to worry about that people of color do. White privilege means that people aren’t going to pre-judge me because of how I sound when I talk or because my name sounds “ethnic” or stereotype me if I’m having a bad day. It means that there is no assumption of criminality when people encounter my brothers and they are less likely to die in an encounter with the police. It means that I will be given medication at the hospital if I am in pain and have less of a chance of dying in childbirth. It means that I have a better chance at getting promoted at work and perpetuating my socio-economic class to my children. It means that I am free to ignore race and racism if I want to. It even means that can get band-aids that match my skin tone. It doesn’t mean I sought it out. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. It doesn’t mean that I abuse it. (OK, that’s not true. I absolutely do when trying to get out of a ticket). It doesn’t mean it’s my fault and it doesn’t mean I have to apologize for it. Ultimately what matters is what I do about it. Do I try to be an agent for change and better society or do I lean into white privilege to benefit myself? I believe for most people, when we know better, we do better.
I think the “point” of including the fact that you’re married to a black woman, kind of validates you to express an opinion before being dismissed as an intolerant “white” person who needs to learn and that for the time being should be quiet.
You seem to understand how the other privileges you mentioned were named because you said “there is wealth privilege, good-looking privilege, famous privilege, etc.”
Well, the reason why it is called white privilege is because it is privilege that stems from being white. White people enjoy this privilege almost everywhere in the world including in non-white countries because of their imperial/colonial recent history and certainly not because they are the majority race in the world. You only need to apologize for your actions. You may start to rethink your actions once you gain better understanding. Having a black wife and not seeing color doesn’t exempt you from white privilege or male privilege. The ability to walk around challenging another person’s lived truth without a care is a perfect example. I’m glad that this article has steered you towards more understanding.
Thank you for sharing Lori! I can relate in both spirit and substance to many of the experiences you’ve had. From being called a “nigger” as a high school camp counselor by some kids who didn’t enjoy knowing that I had authority over them, to being singled out as the “lucky one and only” in private elite classrooms, to having really dumb jocks at my Ivy league college tell me I was admitted because of “affirmative action,” to French Farce worthy moments of shock where people have taken to their heels and fled (not joking) when they realized I was the person in charge. Oops.
Wonderfully written. As a Black, Muslim woman from Minnesota, who’s gone to Stanford and is now a physician in the Army in Texas, I see *so* much of my life in your recounts that it’s almost scary. Thank you for your courage in sharing your, and thus our, stories. As I’ve been saying left and right these days – “Sending you continued love & strength in solidarity.”
Thank you so much, Taara! Love & strength in solidarity to u as well!
I’ve shared on my FB – a lot of folks have read and shared and they’d love to know how Jason responded. I hope if he does you’ll share that too. Thank you again.
Thank you – so far he hasn’t responded…
Maybe you shouldn’t refer to an adult in college as a “white boy.” It’s kind of insulting, black girl. Were there any black boys in the class?
Joe Joe Joe…….could you be any more of a douche?
Joe Jackson, they were peers in college. You might want to chill out on the aggression… as you an ENTIRELY illustrating the point of the article.
While these are good examples and each one’s conclusion frames it well as an “if you never”, I still kind of feel like this fellow (and perhaps other readers) might miss part of the privilege concept: not only is he failing to suffer from these sorts of incidents, but he’s also correspondingly benefiting from a system that tends to prefer him to others. That, to use a phrase way too many of the racists above use, there is some ongoing degree of built-in “affirmative action” enacting itself on his entire life, and his parents’ fortunes, and so on.
Thank you for posting your friend’s post and your response. I’m wondering what his response was to such an eloquent list of your personal experiences. I plan to like your GoodBlackNews page!
I love this discussion and all that are opening up, hopefully for everyone to try to understand all sides. I would like to add that so many of your examples struck home with me except in “the reverse”. I was part of desegregation in the 70’s in Kansas City, I was bussed into a school and was the white minority. I had girls shove me, girls hoot as I walked down the hallways, girls drop pencils on the floor in front of me and say “honkie, pick up my pencil”. I was threatened, I was scared and I was on the “wrong side”. Did I have white privilege? I suppose I did when I was among my white neighbors. But it sure didn’t do me any good at school. That said, I don’t begrudge those kids. I look back on it as a life experience for me, I chose not to treat others that way, I never have, and I moved on. It never was a thing of color to me, rather it was people who acted poorly. Just another perspective.
This article is timely and well taken, but do you remember the song “The Sound of Silence?
“
Reblogged this on Paper Marieo.
Thank you Lori. I was just feeling sort of irritated at the white privilege concept this morning. Now I am feeling very grateful for your gentle tutorial.
Thank you for this incredibly insightful response and post. I’ve shared this on FB because you’re incredibly articulate, direct, honest and wise. Some of this I knew but reading a personal list rings truer than any idea ever could.
Thank you. I’ve learned a great deal in the last five minutes and for that I’m grateful to you.
Though I agree with the above sentiment, I did not write the comment.
I am conflicted after reading this. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very glad I did. But I feel like a lot of the discussion on white privilege is made to make me feel guilty for something I can’t control. I wish the discussion could be expanded to talk about all privilege without denigrating another’s experience. I’ve had many of these same experiences, but not because I’m black. I’m white. But I’m Jewish. There are lots of experiences, but not just one time things either. Even something as simple as I have to take vacation time for my holiest holidays to not work, but most others get their holy days off as holiday. In essence getting extra vacation time. Or trying to have my kids not go to school those days, no guarantee they won’t miss a test. That’s privilege too. Some of my black friends have looked at me like I couldnt possible understand when I empathize with what they’re saying about having discussions with their kids they shouldn’t have to have. But I just had to talk to my pre-school age daughter about not singing her favorite songs or saying prayers out loud to not draw attention to herself, which made her sad because she’s so proud to be Jewish. I think we all have a long way to go in dealing with any and all privileges.
You sound like the people who try and counter Black Lives Matter with Ali Lives Matter. It ain’t the same.
How dare anyone compare themselves to a poc?
You are trying to make this about you. The topic is white privilege and how it exists within our society. All the author wants you to do is to acknowledge it exists and to stand up for what’s right. There are other prejudices in which you are referring, but that is off topic.
I believe this reader is showing a bit of empathy with their own examples; not attempting to discredit the author. Had she empathized yet provided no personal example you may trample her for speaking out of turn as well. Can we not agree that she is simply trying to understand in her own way.
She writes very clearly about intersectionality. I will speak from personal experience. I am middle class, white, female, a Unitarian Universalist and Pagan, I am heterosexual, able-bodied and neurotypical. Like you, all these intersect to inform my privilege. Being female and of a monority religion (that is seen as A. not a religion B. Devil Worship) I don’t benefit from male privilege, nor religious privilege. Now my religion makes me an invisible minority, so I can choose to keep it to myself. Even though that feels like a micro aggression in and of itself, especially like for you when it comes to my children, I do have a choice in potentially dangerous situations. So there are ways in which I feel I can very personally empathize but I know quite frankly that my white privilege trumps all of it. And I can understand why Black folks would see my “disadvantages ” as not quite the same.
Thanks.
I am inspired
Clearly the author was discussing how racism/sexism has impacted her life, and explaining white privilege which you very clearly have, and a pretty large ego as well based on the fact that you’ve somehow made this discussion about racism against blacks about you and your religion. Woe is you. Heaven forbid you have trouble getting more vacation days than everyone else does because of your holy holidays.
The difference is, no one will look at you and your daughter and immediately judge you on your appearance. You will not move into a nice neighborhood and be made to feel like you don’t belong. You will not walk into a high end store and be followed around or assumed to be an employee because obviously you wouldn’t be shopping there. You will not ever have an employer choose not to hire you because or your skin color that you cannot hide or change. You and your daughter can choose to not say prayers or sing songs out loud if you feel like that would endanger your for some reason, and then you’d just pass as any other white person. Black people can’t stop being black. Keeping their mouths shut doesn’t make them look any lighter.
Many Jewish people “look Jewish.” The sad thing is, when I was a girl, many of my Jewish friends wanted nose jobs so they wouldn’t look Jewish. They were beautiful just the way they were. No child should even contemplate getting surgery to stop looking like their race or ethnicity. Because of my lived experience, I support Black Lives Matter.
I think this comment section has morphed into a major conversation about race sparked by the original essay, rather than simple comments on the essay. Every time someone white tells their “me too” story about oppression, we white people should keep in mind that Black people go through all this PLUS racism. We can support Black people without feeling some twisted rivalry as to who has it worse.
The difference here is choice. You choose to follow the Jewish faith (although I’m sure you may disagree on that) however, when you walk out of your home
how many people automatically know you’re Jewish? A POC is automatically recognized.
Actually, my son is routinely harassed on the street for looking Jewish and/or gay. Notice I said looking, not being. My son’s religion and orientation have nothing to do with a bigot’s perception of him. Asymptomatic carriers of bigotry, like Typhoid Mary, harm others without even realizing it. If they realize it and continue to do harm, as Typhoid Mary did, then they should experience the consequences as Mary did.
You’re missing the point. In this country Black people were considered PROPERTY. Not even considered HUMAN. Sold. Beaten. Raped. Traded. For HUNDREDS OF YEARS. Then Jim Crow Laws, etc. The police is the result of the systemic racism that to this day seeks to get those slaves back behind bars and working for free. Read a book. Watch a documentary. Do your homework. The entire system in this country is RIGGED AGAINST BLACK PEOPLE. The fact that you don’t even seem to get any of that is part of your PRIVILEGE. No one is saying Jews aren’t discriminated against. Like you can’t imagine our experience, I can’t claim to imagine yours. But POLICE who are to serve & protect, aren’t KILLING JEWS at a DISPROPORTIONAL RATE. You witnessed a man MURDERED in broad day light. The world watch video proof of something we’ve been trying to get this country to fix FOR DECADES! That is what this movement is about. So now that you have the info, you can open your eyes or CHOOSE to remain ignorant.
If the original article had been confrontational like your comment, nobody would have read past the first line.
I used to have the same response until I realized that, from the founding of this country, it is quite a different thing to have to confront repeated instances like these because of skin color- something that cannot be changed or hidden. Though our shared experiences of being Jewish are similar, they are not the same.
I understand some of your conflict in that I am black and also sabbatarian (look into intersectionality)… I have to explain to my son why we can’t go to Friday night and Saturday events, when most school events occur. He can’t eat the school lunches even though he wants to because they never got back to me about whether the meat is clean (pork content is everywhere!). We know christmas is really not about Christ’s birth but I compromise and decorate to enjoy the festivities and we enjoy the time off anyway and use it to get together as family. It is such a burden and carries with it so much aggressions from people who think their beliefs are superior. Yet, none of these micro aggressions based on my religion and culture can be informed by simply looking at me. I have to tell someone. I can decide when and how to bring it up. From my experience, the disrespect for being black is a bigger burden on my psyche because it is one of the first things a person can see about me and it is inherently unchangeable. I count renounce or disguise being black and I shouldn’t have to. It’s just a physical characteristic that shouldn’t carry such a weight.
Thank you for sharing. I remember reading a book some years back called “Having our Say” by two sisters who were 100 years old or there about. I was amazed how every aspect of their lives was affected by their skin color. I am 63 and grew up in a relatively small town of mostly white people. I did not know how difficult and demeaning life could be for “black” people. (Please forgive me if this is no longer an acceptable term) I now have a grandson who is biracial. I am becoming increasingly aware of how different his life is and will be from mine. My desire is to be sensitive and treat everyone with kindness and fairness.You are helping me see life from a different perspective.
I love your thoughtful response. Yet what struck me was the privilege inherent in his question. Here: I fixed it for him.
“To all of my Black or mixed race FB friends, I must profess a blissful ignorance of this “White Privilege” of which I’m apparently guilty of possessing.
[I don’t actually think I have white privilege, but you people keep saying it, so I’ll humor you and maybe in the process show you that you’re totally wrong.]
By not being able to fully put myself in the shoes of someone from a background/race/religion/gender/ nationality/body type that differs from my own makes me part of the problem, according to what I’m now hearing. Despite my treating everyone with respect and humor my entire life (as far as I know), I’m somehow complicit in the misfortune of others.
[By not being willing to believe the lived experience of others is true because I haven’t seen it firsthand, thus making it instantly questionable in my assessment, I feel like I’m being attacked for just being who I am. Even though, in my humble opinion, my behavior has always been above reproach, and thus not part of this “system of oppression” that some people blame for their inability to succeed in a society that is, without exception, fair, equitable, and chock-full of opportunities and unimpeded progress for anyone willing to work for it.]
I’m not saying I’m colorblind, but whatever racism/sexism/other -ism my life experience has instilled in me stays within me, and is not manifested in the way I treat others (which is not the case with far too many, I know).
[Despite the fact that I have grown up surrounded by privilege that, even as an adult, I am loathe to acknowledge, I’m 100% sure that it has not affected my world view, and has not created any biases or affected my treatment of others (unlike those obviously biased people who belong to hate groups, or who perform racist or violent acts against people different from them). Is there any research (preferably by people I know personally) showing this “bias” to be a real thing?]
So that I may be enlightened, can you please share with me some examples of institutional racism that have made an indelible mark upon you?
[So that I can be reassured of my rightness and goodness (and by extension the wrongness of those who say things about privilege that make me feel defensive), can you please reopen your old wounds by sharing some examples of institutional racism that have made an indelible mark upon you? Note: they must be indelible and therefore clearly identifiable by me as offensive or racist, using my own clearly unbiased rationale. Random, weekly or monthly, run-of-the-mill inequity, injustice, (not so) micro-aggressions, disrespect, having your intelligence or competence or achievements questioned or discounted, and being rendered invisible or overly visible by being singled out and asked to speak for or represent your entire race on myriad issues don’t really count, IMH(and unbiased)O.]
If I am to understand this, I need people I know personally to show me how I’m missing what’s going on. Personal examples only.
[If I am to understand this, and not simply write it off as more overly-sensitive, race-card-playing by people whose opinions don’t carry any weight, despite them living this reality to which I am oblivious, I need people I know personally to share their examples of these things they claim are all around me, as being known to me gives them a credibility lacking in the similar accounts and video proof from thousands of other people just like them (including elected officials, respected professionals, celebrities, and just regular folks) who have written about these issues ad nauseam for over 100 years. I don’t know them personally, so I must discount their recollections as I can’t be sure they’re accurate and verifiable.]
I’m not trying to be insensitive [I’m not self-aware enough to realize that the tone of this entire message is dismissive and skeptical of the experiences I profess to want to better understand].
I only want to understand (but not from the media)
[I only want affirmation that my view is correct without facing accountability for it].
I apologize if this comes off as crass or offends anyone.”
[On some level, I know it’s crass and offensive but I don’t care enough to find a way of asking these questions that don’t lay bare my disbelief that I am in any way biased or complicit in this so-called “white privilege” that I supposedly possess.]
However insensitive or ignorant you find this man’s question and choice of wording would you prefer to quell his quest for answers and understanding? People don’t ask questions, people don’t seek enlightenment and we continue on the merry go round of ignorance and misunderstanding. Commend the man for his desire to step outside of self and forgive his choice of delivery.
Wow. It’s no wonder why some white people are hesitant to discuss race with persons of color, if this is what they’re met with when trying the best they can to be sensitive. Does everything a white person says have some sort of subtext to you? Is there a way he could’ve phrased his post that wouldn’t have been offensive to you?
In the time it took to pen the question to the author, he could have done some quick research and arrived at exhaustive examples. Placing the onus on Lori to explain his privilege to him through her lived experience is lazy at best.
In 1988 Peggy McIntosh wrote the essay, “White Privilege and Male Privilege: A Personal Account of Coming to See Correspondences Through Work in Women’s Studies”, in which she listed 46 examples in which being white has its advantages.
http://www.collegeart.org/pdf/diversity/white-privilege-and-male-privilege.pdf
His “question” was presented in about as smug and condescending way as possible. It really gives off a sense of “Sorry. Not sorry” as opposed to an honest request for clarity. And this was too his FRIENDS!
Here’s a much less confrontational way to pose the question. “I hear a lot about white privilege, but don’t really understand how it applies to me. I’d appreciate if some of my friends, especially people of color, could share some of their lived experiences so I can personally relate. Thanks!”
To Fondi:
Throwing this out there: I’m white. When I first started seeing terms like “white privilege” and “intersectionality,” my knee-jerk reaction was to ask others if I was like “that,” (meaning unintentionally racist or privileged)… Pretty soon after, though, I saw probably the best possible tumblr post about what to do as a white person wanting to learn more about privilege. I’m paraphrasing this, though not by much, because the wording was really what made me remember it:
(This is in first person as that poster, who was a person of color)
“I’m not your babysitter. If we’re friends and vaguely on the subject, it might be okay to ask. If that’s not true? Do your own damned research. You can use google to inform yourself better when there are countless essays, articles, blog posts, videos, out there. Specifically asking me [OP] about this because I’m your black friend makes it *my* responsibility to teach you. It’s not my responsibility to teach you, it’s your responsibility to learn. I deal with white privilege all day every day–I probably got onto [tumblr] to stop dealing with it for a while and just look at pictures of cats. Asking me to delve into this painful thing just for your education is part of your privilege.”
That was all I needed. Sure enough, there are *plenty* of resources available, written by people gracious enough to share (Thank you, Lori, for sharing!)… It’s not okay for me to roll up to my friends and assume that they will teach me. I have google, and I have a brain. When links to articles and blog posts (like this one) pop up on my tlist/fb feed/tumblr dash, it’s my responsibility (as someone with privilege) to read, learn, and doubly my responsibility to help spread the info.
And as far as “does everything a white person says have to have subtext to you?” goes… Unfortunately, when it comes to stuff like this… it carries subtext whether we want it to or not. That privilege is at least some small part of the subtext.
Well, first, it’s very tiresome, burdening and painful for POC to explain this stuff with white People. So, your fragility is very present here. Talk to a white who does this kind of work to help you. I’m always available.
First, thank-you Lori for taking the time to evaluate and then articulate so masterfully such great examples of what white privilege is, and then pinpointing in each example why it was so. I also thank your friend for asking you and others to share personal examples. I perceive this man to have a heart that really wants to understand. Yes he could have Googled the term, but instead he asked people he knows and trusts. That right there is a mouthful, and meaningful. He trusted you to tell him the truth, your truth. In his world of privilege, often times ‘white privilege’ is only an issue after something horrific has been done to some underprivileged, undeserving, African American who the media is character assassinating. YOU are accomplished black women, cultured, educated with the country’s elite. He wanted and needed your story, your truths, because YOU he could believe. Even with the last 8 years of total disrespect towards the POTUS, based on white privilege, he needed to hear it from someone HE knew, after all the POTUS is a politician (let that mean what it may).
I believe he was sincere in his question and saw no shade. I think he wanted to understand, and move out of his comfort of privilege. Lori knows this man. I think if she thought he was being anything other than honest and sincere, her response would never have been written. He wrote this question to people he knows, people he is friends with. Nothing about his author makes me think she would have put as much thought into her response if she didn’t feel his sincerity. I think if she thought he was blowing smoke, her response, if she responded, wouldn’t have been this introspective, lengthy, or on her page.
I hope he allows his heart to be effected by what has been written, and ignores some of the harsh criticisms posted about him. Lori, great teachable moment, and excellent lesson plan delivery.
I am ” white” of Italian roots. Yes, I do know what it is like to be hated for the color of my skin. My sister and I were harassed by a gang of black kids years ago. I have curly hair and was teased because of it. I was made fun of because I wore glasses. Need I say more and now everyday of my life as a woman in my 50’s with three grown sons I am reminded of white privilege everywhere I turn. Some of my dearest friends are black. They are not good but great people. It’s time to stop the race card and get over the resentment. Attractive people are privileged…they probably will get the job first…skinny people are privileged and it goes on and on. I pray that we all see beyond the exterior who we really are and it not only starts with white but black as well.
Please read every single comment and reply here. That’s your homework on understanding what it means to center and fragility.
You nailed it Natasha… thanks, another “white privileger” (Hanson) thinking he’s so damn clever and intelligent, that he’ll convince all these ignorant black folks here, just how wrong they are about systemic oppression and racial discrimination in America, it doesn’t exists. The same way the “holocaust” never happened. It just seems so unreal and apathetic when you’re explaining this to people who have actually experienced it… Why not used that energy to educate white folks, that “yes, we are all Americans” and No, Black folks are not out to “Kill us all…” mantra.
@NatashaJ – THANK YOU! EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID! I really thought I was the only person feeling that one…
Hi Lori,
I value your life experiences despite how painful they may be to share for you it is important for everyone to hear about them. I personally don’t like terms that separate’s races more than they already have been. Putting term’s on people like white person, black person, brown person etc is not appropriate because some individuals may look of one race but are multiple races- you can not lump them all into one category just by judging them on the color of their skin.
Most people would consider me a “white girl” but I am Latino, Native American, European/Spanish, Irish.
I have as a person who appears to be white, still experiened many of the same situations that you have. Now I don’t wan’t you to feel unvalid in any of what you have experienced by me saying this because none of these situations are warranted and some definitely have to do with “white privelage” or perspectives that were taught to individuals. 1.This boy possibly could have had a crush on you or your sister & might have been trying to get your attention. He could have also just been bitter cuz he didn’t have money to just build a pool. Boys are like that sometimes. 2.As a child I was taught at about the same age as your sister what the N word was when I heard it on TV and my mother taught me that is a word that has alot of pain behind it, it should never be repeated and if you ever hear someone saying it stand up to them & make sure they know you are not ok with that behavior. She showed me lynchings, beatings, & helped me to understand exactly why we stand up to it. It confused me as I grew into an adult why so many African-Americans used that term when it causes them so much pain. I know now, reality of life doesn’t always make sense but we have to continue to fight for what we believe in.
3. I had a similar situation happen to me in college. I disclosed I had Epilepsy to my teacher in a written note so that if I needed to record assignments & review I would not get in trouble for using my phone. He took this as a platform to make fun of people with epilepsy in front of the class by saying things like” the bright colors of the walls are going to cause some of you to spaz out”, “watch out for the lights”. I left the class because I personally disclosed this and he chose to berade me in front of the class, but it has nothing to do with white privelages, just a persons ignorance, lack of care, and choice to harass for their own personal laugh or gain.
4&5 I can see this but also see that it can be viewed from other perspectives as well. The truth is life isn’t fair even when we work hard for it. Having a background that gives you a privelage because they need more minority in the school is a privilege; it would be the same as if someones parent was an alumni. It doesn’t mean you both didn’t work hard, get good grades, and do extra curriculars. Some people have the ability to just be happy for their friends despite the advantages. It could happen to a person of any race.
6. Just hearing this frustrates me, I am sorry you have to deal with moments like this. I can’t understand your perspective here but I can empathize. I overheard a lady not too long ago talking about how she doesn’t care about history, doesn’t wan’t to visit historical places to learn because her husband was a history teacher and always wanted to share that with her. It upset me that she not only had a lack of understanding for what comes before us but also for her husband. So, I can sort of understand your frustration here, I am sure not to your extent though.
7. I have worked in the service industry for 10+ and have experienced this first hand from all races. People of any race can treat you with disrespect. This has happened to me at conventions, banquets, wine events, weddings, etc. Most of the time people treat servers/waitstaff as servants & are rather rude. They believe that they can boss you around because they are paying you. We still appreciate respectful people.
8. Totally get this, most of my bosses have been white males & I would live to see more diversity & women in the workplace. I have been sexually harassed a few times and powerless to do much because the times I have spoke up I was let go within a week. Annoying!
9&10 I definitely can’t relate to either of these, but have some friends who have explained similar situations. I have also grown up in gang neighborhoods & have had my own influence of keeping my head down so I don’t get raped, pulled in to sell for sex trafficking, or iniated.
All I am saying is don’t just assume everything is white privelage and we should all do our best to eradicate hate against each others races.
Best to you
Megan
“1.This boy possibly could have had a crush on you or your sister & might have been trying to get your attention.”
The idea that abuse automatically is excused by the idea that it means a boy likes you is a whole other problematic mindset. Boys are only “like that” if they are allowed to…well, exist as particularly privileged characters.
i mean there’s a variety of reason the kid might have thrown rocks in his pool. Kids are nutcases my little brother used to stomp this persons sprinklers in every time we passed his house and did so for months about every other week.. He neither knew nor cared who lived there for all we know it was some 90 year old lady. I’m just glad cameras were so rare back then.
Megan,
The author isn’t assuming that everything is white privilege, like you suggest. They note that discrimination and oppression are intersectional, and that their experiences can’t necessarily be distilled down to ‘just’ being about race. I think implied in this is also that many people will have had experienced similar experiences based on privileges related to sexism, ableism, classism, etc.
But not being able to ‘prove’ that an experience is only about race, doesn’t mean that white privilege doesn’t exist. Other privileges exist and intertwine with this, but that doesn’t dismiss the existence or impact of white privilege, and don’t mean that it’s not the main thing underpinning these situations.
Going through the author’s list and individually explaining why you feel like they should be interpreted in another way, seems really derailing, and disrespectful. It feels like you are discrediting and disregarding the author’s experiences.
I have learned that one of the most important things we can do for each other is listen and hear, and not try to discredit someone’s experience of oppression. If you have a different experience, or opinion, and you want to share that – that’s by all means your right, but to do so in someone else’s arena, to do so in direct response to this article, seems really problematic to me.
I totally agree, Paula. This is a way to deflect and minimize the issues of race and white privilege. It is dismissive, disrespectful and causes more pain. Living in a system that oppresses a person has physiological, emotional and physical effects. Reading her response affected my breathing and blood pressure. I found it extremely difficult to breathe and my frustration levels were at a point where my head felt like it would explode. The frustration leads to anger; that is being channeled through the Black Matter Movement and all the other movements for justice and equal rights. Peaceful protest will not stop because we are tired of not being heard. In one of my FaceBook post, a friend of a friend expressed her fear of a “full revolution”. Yet, in the same breath, she deny’s there is a problem. Why fear a revolution if there is no problem. I told her a revolution comes about to effect change; and usually that is change to an oppressive system. I think it is a valid fear that white people carry because they know this is system wrong. They know there is a problem. It is hard to reach people like Megan, because they are not open to listening. The truth is too painful. It is a difficult conversation for all. But, to survive as a united nation we must work through that pain. We cannot have open and honest dialogue without a willingness to acknowledge that this country was built on a system of white supremacy. At least she was honest to say she does not agree and that is her right.
To be fair, I don’t think Megan said the author “should” have interpreted things differently, I think she was saying they “could ” be. I think she was trying to understand the authors position, as evidence by other things she said. Although none of us can ever truly appreciate others experience, I do appreciate those who at least try, even if they don’t get it right, it’s much better than those who don’t. It’s a good starting place!
I agree with Paula. Poet Leroy Moore often talks about racism in disabled activism. White disabled people are the ones who get on talk shows or get interviewed, etc. Leroy Moore is the creator of Krip Hop and I urge everyone to read him.
W. Kamau Bell has taught me that white privilege is that I don’t automatically ask myself, “was that racism?” every time I have a negative encounter with a white person. I don’t live with that constant doubt.
“Boys are like that sometimes” would be an example of male privilege. I know “this boy” from my childhood (I mean the type): the boy who pulls your hair or grabs you or teases you or knocks your books off your desk at school and when you say something your teacher or your mama says, “he just likes you; boys are like that sometimes.” Now, use those same words but on an adult situation: a man yanks a woman’s hair and pushes her work papers off her desk at work. Or the catcalls from guys on the street. Or even more subtly, the man who reaches over to touch your hair unsolicited and unwanted, or responds a little differently to your ideas in a meeting at which you’re the female who tossed out an idea or asks why you don’t smile more because it makes you look pretty (this said in a professional setting), or even the guy who commiserated with you about “the old boys network” that hit you both passed over for promotions, or the coach laughing about the boys taking so long in the locker room saying “they’re worse than the girls and you know how long the girls take!” father teaching his son to “stop throwing like a girl” —or any number of micro aggressions that seem normal if you’re that guy but are unwanted, unsolicited, and then unsavory and sometimes supplemented with “he must like you” or “he feels threatened by you.” Why are boys given a pass with “boys will be boys.” Think about what we rally mean when we say that: boys will be boys means things like “irresponsible, oblivious, uncaring, physical rather than emotional, aggressive, ambitious, mischievous, disrespectful,” and it’s written off as funny, typical, and part of their right in the world.
If some action or assumption feels like it involves a long-standing cultural narrative like “boys are like that sometimes,” then be wary of the difference someone is being subjected to based on something that they were born with,. And finslly, “passing” itself suggests that there’s a standard of whiteness that someone would “pass” as. A tan Caucasian woman would never be said to be able to “pass” as black, said as though that were a good thing or normal thing.
And autocorrect on the phone just adds to my many typos. Tiny screen, adult fingers.
Funny how a black woman very thoughtfully wrote about her personal experiences with racism, and a white-passing woman had to come and explain why those weren’t necessarily about racism and why those experiences aren’t unique to her.
If you’ve never been questioned or had someone try to invalidate your words after you opened up about how you and your family have experienced racism over the years, that’s white privilege.
When I was a kid, our neighbor had this over-size palm tree that dropped shriveled, ugly black fruit in our yard.
We used to toss them over the back fence into a different neighbors pool.
Not because of the color of their skin, though it was different from ours, but because we were jealous they had a pool.
Heck, I still don’t have a pool, and it’s 97 today. 😉
Doesn’t invalidate her experience, though it might say something about the boy’s.
I suppose the neighbor’s daughter could be using it as an example of sexism, today, Or a counter-example to show she doesn’t have white privilege.
That’s white privilege . . . ha ha. Face it, there are some people that exist that are simply mean, jealous, hurtful, critical and yes even bigoted (under which racism falls). The fact of the matter is, that outside of the smallish group of outright bigoted acting people (in this instance, racists against black people) – such people simply find the easiest and most obvious attribute to carry out their “attacks”. If the obvious visual clue is that a person is black, brown, white, fat, skinny, short, tall, male, female, etc. . . that will be the basis for the targeting. It’s simply the easiest most obvious characteristic. With kids it’s even more pronounced. Whether it’s the brand of shoes, the size and quantity of zits, etc. . . This is life, this is reality. I really don’t need some white liberal author telling me that this is White Privilege – no, it’s simply that most people at some time (especially when young) say mean and hurtful things to other people. And to a lesser degree this continues to be practiced as adults – though usually in not such a middle school teenage girl style. More often than not, such comments and actions are the result of the insecurity of the person casting the criticism. In the end, we’re all bigoted in some ways, this is true for white, black, brown people, for men, women, straight, gay, liberal, conservative, etc. . .
I had the same thoughts as I was reading. Similar things have happened to me as a white girl. I don’t automatically assume WHy people are stupid and hateful. They just are. Everybody has discriminations occur unjustly. Everybody has to learn to push through them. Not everybody seethes inside for the rest of their lives after dropping them all in a bucket with one label. I am glad the author finished Harvard and flipped the bird to her detractors.
Several comments (Stacey’s, Megan’s) are perfect examples of how to be dismissive when folks of color talk about their experiences with racism. Your “similar” personal experiences with hardships or disrespect are not an indicator of the absence of racism or the actuality of white privilege.
No they are not being dismissive they are explaining what it is they had to endure. my mother was raped twice by black men on the street as a child I was one of the only white children and was often bullied I’ve been called “white bitch” by a close friend for no reason at all in public I have had material stolen by a black woman who said in front of me at a natural conference that black women can sing better because of the shape of their heads I have dated a biracial man who took me on a couples walk with his friends where his black female friend walked next to him talking to him the whole time like I wasn’t even there I have had a relationship with a black man where he lied to me for 12 years about his relationship with the mother of his child and then told me that “his business is none of mine” I had to pay my own wya through college neither parent planned for their retirements and I had to manage that on my own as well. my father was once chased by a gang of black men wielding pipes when he lived on the south side as a young man. I’m sorry if no one wants to hear about racism becAuse it exists everywhere and many many MANY white people have endured it as well. to try to silence people who speak the truth and the. Tell them to “educate themselves” is just another form of insanity.
Stacey, your third sentence is the definition of White Privilege. As I wrote above, Black people always wonder if it was racism, because that’s what racism has done to them. As a white woman, I don’t have to walk on eggshells in case I get profiled. I don’t get followed in boutiques. I also know that if I was followed in the boutique, it couldn’t possibly be for my race.
A bank wouldn’t change a 20 for me unless I opened an account. I walked out and didn’t wonder if it was because of my race. My friend next door had the same thing happen, and she was certain it was racism. That’s white privilege. I don’t want it, I didn’t earn it, but it is there. And if I show racism or privilege, please let me know so I can improve myself. I’m not fragile.
…Did you really just try to explain away the author’s LIVED experiences? As if she has somehow misinterpreted these very real instances of micro-aggressions and racism? So, your post is EXACTLY the reason she even had to write this in the first place. How do you even begin to make this about YOU, when (as you stated at the top of the post), you are seen as white?
You missed the point, Megan.
Ok, stop centering, Megan. Really? Your experiences are important but you are still centering here. Just stop. And you certainly don’t get to rewrite her experiences and knowledge of this subject. This is white Privilege, fragility, centering and micro-aggression. Omg. Please check yourself.
I was driving from Portland to Seattle for a meeting in a rental car, and got lost after stopping for gas. Got pulled over by a very congenial cop, who asked me if I knew I was going 10 mph over the speed limit? I said I didn’t, explained the car was a rental with a sprightly nature (took a moment to scold the car), and that I was lost and late for my meeting. He wrote me a warning, told me to Be Careful, gave me directions, and said have a nice day. He went back to his car and took off, I rolled up the window, put the car in gear, and just before pulling out onto the road said, “Now, *that* is white privilege.”
The thing is, though, I don’t think of this as a privilege, really. This is what I think ‘should’ happen for anyone in that situation. It isn’t so much that whites are privileged as that everyone else is denied the common decency whites take for granted.
Yes, and that is what makes it a privilege. Being treated with respect in situations where everyone should be treated with respect, and not everyone is, based purely on skin color.
I see your point – it’s just the idea of civil, respectful treatment being a privilege and not a right that bothers me.
Perfectly put! “It isn’t so much that whites are privileged as that everyone else is denied the common decency whites take for granted.”
If I were still teaching high school U. S. History, this would be required reading. Thank you for writing it.
People seem to think that “white privilege” means you are a racist. I was never aware of it until I was in my 20s. I had long hair, a ton of earrings, a heavy metal t-shirt, ratty jeans and Doc Martin’s. I was at the mall with a friend and looking at CDs, when I noticed two of the employees move close to me, one in front and one behind, flipping through the racks. As I moved through the store, they quite obviously were staying close to me. After we leave, I said something to my buddy who simply called it “instant inventory”. Because of how I looked, he explained, store managers would ask workers to discreetly follow people (yeah, teens in retail are good at being discreet) at the store they felt were “questionable”. What, me, questionable? I naively talked to a black friend about it, and they said it was like that for them all the time. My experience gave me the tiniest glimpse in to their life, but I also came to a pretty sad conclusion. I could shave, put on different clothes, pull my hair back, take out my earrings, and poof…… how people perceived me was completely different. They couldn’t change their skin. I will never know what it is like to be black, but I recognize my privilege very clearly. I also gave up preconceived notions and stereotypes as best I can. Everyone gets a blank slate in my life and get to earn or lose my respect equally. My grandma Catherine was one of my greatest inspiration to be that way, and I can never thank her enough for that part of my soul.
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story. Unfortunately I don’t think much wil change in our life time.
I often heard, “I don’t think of you as Black” when I worked in a corporate setting. My well meaning colleagues didn’t realize that I grew up loving the beautiful diversity of my people, so what they meant as a compliment sounded just plain ludicrous. Early in my career a mentor recommended that I read “Black Rage” which helped me navigate the exhaustingly insulting white collar world.
No one should have to go through life aware that strangers are uncomfortable with the color of their skin. As a universal blood donor (o negative) I’m sure many people offended by my skin tone would accept my blood to save their life.
It sure would be nice if everyone thought of themselves, and each other, as just “people”
As a white teacher in an a all black school I am sometimes hurt by comments made to me because I’m not black. A black school board member complained publicly at a board meeting about white teachers being hired, asking if anyone else had a problem with that. Students have told me their parents hate white people. At a shopping mall parking lot, a kid and total stranger leaned out of his car and called me white trash. To me, white privilege is more about unfairly being better able to get jobs, buy property, and gain affluence. Sadly, racism can happen within any race, and I have hope that more conversations and articles like this will lesson fears and lead to racial harmony.
lessen
There’s always one.
Unfortunately I have had some similar experiences.. I love and have friends of all races and do my best to respect different cultures and the feelings of others. I went to a university that had a black studies program and I took an elective class each year learning about other cultures or movements. The class I took was the Black diaspora. When I walked in I was hoping to just be a normal student getting ready for the class. Instead I was told I was in the wrong class , or what are you doing here? I was told these things because of my skin color. This saddened me because we all should learn about others. Then the professor would expect me to respond to questions about the white race from class members. As if I represented the entire viewpoint of the white race from the past to future day white people. I felt uncomfortable responding to these questions and had to explain to the class That I only represent myself, my own views, not all views of the white population. I was even told by one student that it was my fault that she lost her African language. I cried one day from all the pressure I went through. But I have to say I learned so much. How some black people have been hurt from a white person. How some are raised my the hurt their parents have encountered. I feel if either side continues to hold this hurt in their hearts that we can’t more forward, we can’t improve.
I have seen people racism (especially in the south) It hurts my heart to even wittiness these acts from afar. I do believe there is racism on all sides.
You’re a teacher; you should learn to differentiate between bigotry and racism. I’ll let you do the legwork and figure it out.
Racism *is* bigotry. There is a difference between being smart and acting smart and you do not have to do any legwork to find it; you are one fine example of the difference. Carry on but do try to get it.
Cathy I can understand how words can be hurtful but as Dr Joy Degruy so clearly explained the difference between white racism and black racism .I can say I hate white people and I can hate you all the way to the bank. That will not stop you from getting a loan or buying a home . But if whites hate blacks it impacts health coverage ,economic and financial growth. That’s what racism does. It impacts the common core of life.
I completely agree with you and the lady who wrote about white privilege. Wah no one has to come to realize is that the privilege goes to who ever is in the majority. Living in the Atlanta, Ga are I am clearly on the minority. I live in a predominantly black upper middle class neighborhood with wonderful black neighbors since 1998. While we don’t socialize we are friendly having many a yard conversations and look out for each other. I couldn’t ask for better neighbors regardless of race. However, in the workplace and at school I am in the very tiny minority and I assure you I take a beating almost on a daily basis. One instance that stands out blatantly is when I applied with a department in the city of Atlanta. I was the only white applicant in the room. When walked in the receptionist have me a blank look when I asked where the bathroom was and in a very agitated tone and manner told me where the bathroom was. When I returned I overheard the receptionist telling the person reviewing my resume to make sure and call every one if my references and leave no stone unturned. It was very clear that the receptionist had power in the decision making process and didn’t want me hired. Another insurance I was hired and asked by a high level person interviewing me why I would want the position. When I explained my truthful and sincere reason the interviewer said I see your previous experience is all within the same area so you must not want to drive far. While it us true that I’m only going to drive a certain distance, it was by no means the only reason for my interest. My interviewer was looking for any reason to not take me as a serious candidate. It was astoundingly clear and obvious as the whole interview which would normally last an hour lasted 10 minutes. I have so many if the same type experiences in the work place that would take too long to list. I am often treated at school like I am taking something away from a black person just by being there. The disrespect and comments are too many and stupid to comment. I trained at Kroger as a co manager date college. I’ve always been a hard worker and not afraid to get my hands dirty. Part of my training was in the deli. One deli worker said that I never probably had to do any real work before like cleaning out a chicken fryer. After I told her I worked at Wendy’s in high school she changed her attitude. So while white privilege is alive and ongoing so is the privilege of the majority of which I haven’t been in since 1998. I just wish white and black would cut the carp so to day! I have also been told before by a man that the only reason I got a particular job was because I was female. Hogwash, I worked my behind off in college and my references said I did a good job, etc.
The situation you have described is one part of your life. You can make the decision to move or get another position to escape negative treatment. ‘It’ follows people of color around. It’s constant. You have a choice. Peopleb of color don’t.
This was meant to be a reply to Cathy.
Cathy, I’m sorry you had to experience those negative things, but, IMHO, when a person of color “hates” on you, it should only confirm that white privilege exists and that is a very sad reaction to it. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Instead of pointing out how you are a victim of racism, try to understand the driving force behind the treatment you find objectionable. That driving force is mistreatment of Blacks in our society. Go ahead and feel the pain, but try to imagine multiplying that by 1,000 or a million. Feel the pain and use it to try to better understand your African American students. Because you can drive out of that school or mall parking lot and blend back into the world of white privilege. And don’t you agree that our children really, really, really need more Black teachers? Try not to take comments like this personally, and it might help you lead others to a world with more racial harmony. That’s a wonderful goal!
@Joan,
I hear what you are saying, and I agree, part of it for some people will come from a place of pain, but you can’t ignore what happened to Cathy and also others in this convo….it is also racism, being white and priviliged doesn’t mean we don’t experience racism.
Coming from a similar background and having experienced racism because i was white in a primarly non white neighbourhood.
I have to agree with Cathy, white privilige is primarly going to the bank and getting the loan, doing an interview and getting the good job, walking around on the street and given the benefit of the doubt by the law.
But racism itself, that goes all different directions, and if it’s not that it’s discrimination on sexe, sexual preference, culture, it’s sad really, but it can’t be denied.
I realize this conversation is dated but I’m literally amazed at the thoughtfulness and respect of opinions. Aside from a few snide comments and a couple offensive ones, this has been a mostly respectful forum. As a black man from the South, it restores my faith in society knowing more folk are having this conversation all over the world.
The author suggests when we see acts of racism we should address it. I would like to comment on that.
One year ago I moved to Milwaukee from the west. In the 12 months that followed, I have seen more acts of racism than in all of the preceding 47 years. It is quite unbelievable. What happens when I see these things is my brain just freezes, and I stand there with my mouth open in shock — because I simply can’t believe it.
There have been far too many incidents to recount them all, but I will share just one: Recently my daughter and I were shopping in an upscale store, and we were in line behind a very angry white woman who demanded to see the manager. This woman was so angry when she spoke she spit all over the counter. She pointed to a young black woman who was standing nearby and said, “I want the name of that woman who refused to help me.” The manager replied, “She doesn’t work here.” (It appeared to me that the young woman was waiting while another woman was trying on shoes). The angry woman said “Hmmmp”, put her nose in the air, flipped her body around, and marched off. The implication was that if a young black woman was going to be in this store, it’s because she’s working there.
Now, what I should have said was, “Don’t you think you owe this woman an apology for the scene you created?” Instead, I stood there with a dropped jaw — my brain frozen — because I could not believe what I just witnessed. I just couldn’t believe it.
The young black woman didn’t say anything either. She just stood there looking tired. Not tired like she had worked all day, but tired of it — like this scene was not all that unusual.
I remember the look on that young woman’should face, and I think to myself of myself: Girl, you have got to do better.
Here’s the white privilege: my own child would never be on the receiving end of that kind of treatment.
I have to say I have mistakenly thought someone “worked at a store” and their color was not the reason for my mistake. Believe me I might very well mistake your child as employee. They are are a veriety of reasons why I might make those assumptions. However I don’t get huffy and I apologize for my mistake. Mistaking someone as an employee is not necessarily a racial bias, but perhaps there was something else in her behavior that led you to that conclusion.
Thanks! I now have some more ideas on how to respond( hopefilly with tact)
Thank you, Lori, for having the patience to explain, kindly and gently, for the Nth time, that water is wet.
And for having the character to ignore it when people argue that it’s not.
People are listening and learning. Realization is slowly dawning. Maybe some day it’ll be enough to change things. Until then, stay safe, stay strong, stay awesome.
<3
Reblogged this on Busy Nurse Research and commented:
Required reading for those who think white privilege does not exist.
Your response was an excellent on but you just scratched the surface.
While reading the list it struck me how many of these things also happen if you are a woman, let alone when you are a woman of color.
While reading this it struck me how many of these things happen to everyone, regardless of color, gender, social status.. that is called life.. sometimes it’s hard and your feeling get hurt.
While reading this it struck me how many people were still going to miss the point.
Your response is clear, Jacob: “This isn’t about race” and “don’t be so sensitive.” It is a troll response that lacks introspection.
You must be a white man.
People are praising this author for her observations and perceptions of what happened to her, but ridicule Jacob when he makes a very valid observation. I can relate a story to each of her 10 where a similar situation happened to me or a family member. And im a white man. Almost all of her examples showed no proof of happening BECAUSE of her race. I moved to a new town – a mostly white rural western kansas community, and had kids knock on my doors at 2 am, leave nasty ‘gifts’ on my door steps and tp my car. Was it because of my race. Nope. Maybe its cause i was new teacher and teenagers think its cool to pick on a new teacher? Or just because these teens were jerks and liked to do this crap to people. Jacob is right, this can and does happen to all kinds od people regardless of race, social status, or gender. Does some racism occur? Yes for sure. Does this prove white priviledge, no. Read the (currently) first comment on this thread by Duke Sota… if people keep focusing on white priviledge instead of addressing the problems, like poverty, lack of high school education, kids growing up in fatherless/one parent homes, drug use, gang activity, crime in general, etc… then nothing will happen. Its more of a cultural problem than a race problem.
Jacob and Luke,
What is the excuse for the racism experienced by lawful, educated, middle/upper class black people raised in highly functioning families?
Take black and white out and replace with male and female. Would you say women experience fair and equitable treatment and opportunities in our country? No? Why not? Because they’re women and the system was created by men to benefit men. More succinctly, the system was created by white men to benefit white men. That’s not YOUR fault, but is a reality. We won’t get past it if we don’t acknowledge and accept it.
Emmie, I had a similar thought. Perhaps a more descriptive label is white Male privilege because white women are often treated similarly to the OP.
But in my opinion, perhaps there should be no labeling at all as it only adds to the conflict rather than bringing us closer together. Yes, there are some people who benefit from or are excluded due to birth, something over which no one has control. Wouldn’t it be more productive if we tried to lift each other up by each of us sharing our knowledge and resources to help each other? I don’t mean “charity” because I’ve seen people of color (black, brown, yellow, red and white) take advantage of situations created by white guilt. That, again in my opinion, is not the right way. People will be people; we’re all human and do things to each other. But painting any one group with a negative brush pulls everyone away from the best each individual can be.
Individuals with skin that is not white have a raw deal in modern American culture. People with black skin, in particular. The prejudice, hateful acts and behavior towards non-whites, I just don’t understand the reasons for all of it. Reading history books is no help. They’re written from the perspective of white men. (I’m a white female, by the way.) Skin color should not have any effect on how one person treats another. But discrimination exists. The effects exist. Denying it does a disservice by undermining the sense of legitimacy to feel wronged for those who experience it. A person should be able to get angry, to announce it, and to have the acts recognized as wrong. And for privilege to cease to be such.
Look, I was picked on as a minority during childhood too. Several times there were threats to beat me up, merely because I was Jewish. I remember one child telling me that Hitler should have finished the job, and I should watch my back.There were mocking comments about greed. (By rich kids, I will add; ironically, my family was one of the least affluent in the area.)
But it’s not the same as having dark skin. It just isn’t. The scales are tipped in favor of white people. It’s a despicable fact. But it is a fact.
For other white folks like me, I think there are several things WE (I include myself!) must do:
-Ask questions. I commend the author’s Facebook friend for asking, whether it was done tactfully or not.
-Listen without judgment when people come forward to share painful experiences. It’s not a contest to prove one person’s experience is worse.
-Acknowledge the injustices, the harsh treatment, the nasty words, the abuse, the wrongheaded policies, the sheer mean-spiritedness, and sympathize, even if we can’t empathize.
-Try to relate by drawing comparisons to injustices you’ve experienced personally if necessary, but do not assume we are facing the same challenges as people with black skin do. Look at the news, then try to argue the challenges are the same!
-Acknowledge that there’s a problem, that black people have had some horrifying experiences and continue to encounter white privilege every single day.
-As the author said, speak out when we hear things said or see things done that perpetuate the problem. If nobody speaks, then nothing changes.
-Learn more. Don’t wait for Black History Month. I know I need to do more research!
I admit it. I don’t like the term white privilege. I think it can be divisive. That’s the point! It highlights differential treatment and says that it’s wrong! I shouldn’t like it. I should squirm when I hear it.
I extend a heartfelt thank you to the author for further educating me on the meaning of white privilege. I had my first discourse about this while in law school. It was a terrible shame that it took so long to have such a discussion. But I’m grateful that a fellow student, a friend, pointed out the disparate treatment. If nothing else, I hope more people will open their eyes–and their minds–to what has been happening for so long, and the pressing need for change.
I grew up drowning in an ocean full of many streams of white privilege and its related prejudices. Episcopalians were better than Catholics, and Christians higher on the scale than Jews. English/Scottish/French/Dutch background was better than German, much less Italian (unless nobility) or any form of Hispanic. We humans use countless ways to filter others using arbitrary and fairly groundless metrics. Homosexuals were the punchline of a joke. Until I went to camp at the age of 10 I didn’t know any black people at all. Camp was well integrated, though–skin color was a nonissue. I didn’t know anybody who was gay (of course, as it turns out, not true). The only people I met with disabilities were wounded in a war. It was a horrible, unforgiving world. I hope it disappears. My father said that it would take 400 years for black/white prejudice to subside, until there were enough intermarriages so that there would no longer be an “us” or a “them” having to do with skin color.
Your post really started to sound like “All Lives Matter” All the ethnic groups you mentioned all share one thing in America, white privilege but you preferred to talk about some imagined ethnic hierarchy. You and your father are wrong if you believe the only way for white privilege to go away is via miscegenation.
She is saying that she grew up in a world in which there was a great deal of prejudice. She listed a slew of examples and basically said that black/white prejudice is the worst of it, so bad she doesn’t know how it will be overcome. It is okay that she doesn’t know how to overcome it in the world. She obviously cares and works to overcome it in herself and her surroundings.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I am a 57 year old white women. I have ‘white privilege’. I have had it all my life. I still have it. Up until 1 year ago I had never heard the term before. So I googled it. I read the definition several times, trying to comprehend just what that meant. Your letter further opened my eyes to the injustices that non white people have known and lived for years. The first step in solving a problem is to recognize that there is a problem. I recognize. Thank you again for sharing. Bless all who have showed interest and placed a post here.
All people continually access the world we live among. These accessments tap into our knowledge and experiences. The sub culture you growup among has a large impact on how our assesments are filtered. Sub cultures within the US are distinct and color has unfortunately been used as a primary tool of division. It is assumed by many to be the primary distinction because if a person can access sub culture of a person or suroundings then navigation can tap into simular situational experiences. Bias based on color is real and getting more prevalent. The safety of social norms for those who have benifited from “white privledge” are breaking down. People are afraid and jumping to judgement faster. This country has a generational defficet of defigning sub cultural differiences by color. I see the only option of progress is to go deeper, past color, and start making an effort to actually understand differing subcultures. People of color in the US are tied to a lower socioeconomic stigma. This stigma has contributed to the cycle of depressed economic growth and continued raceism. Assessments based on color are lazy cultral identifiers!
I’m sorry but that’s all we do anymore is learn about cultural differences. I can treat a person who is different from me with kindness and respect without knowing the specifics of their culture. Alaskan natives have cultural differences depending on the region they live. Spanish and Latino people are usually referred to as Mexican, and not all people who are from the middle east are Samoli. If we need to learn anything, it is the economic inequality faced by all people who are in the low income range. How have we allowed 1% of our society to control 1/2 of the wealth is beyond me. Lets stop fighting with each other and ask that 1% to give it back because they sure as hell didn’t work for it.
This post was profoundly touching and heartfelt. I hope it was deeply appreciated by the requestor. The fact that he has a black “friend” as eloquent and emotionally healthy as you is a privilege itself. I hope he appreciates it.
As a Jewish white career woman living in one of the largest cities in the United States, I have experienced only 1/100 of what my friends of color have. If you don’t understand white privilege but you would like to, here is the best and simplest example I can think of. If I jaywalk in the middle of a street because maybe the crosswalk is half a block away, and a police officer sees me, absolutely nothing happens to me. When a friend of color does this, they receive a ticket and a fine if they are lucky, worse if they are not. You have white privilege if you can walk down the street, be in a park, drive your car, even just hang out in your own home, and never have it occur to you to be on guard or fearful.
Here is one more that just happened two days ago. I was shopping in the grocery store all the while hearing a young child crying. I happened into the same aisle and started playing peek-a-boo, and high fiving him. It was enough of a distraction for his parents to be able to keep shopping as we kept running into each other. When I went to check out, they were in front of me having already paid and bagging up their groceries. The child was eating some crackers that they had just paid for, and was perfectly happy and still wanting to high five. I wondered to myself why the parents hadn’t just let the child eat the crackers while they were shopping as I used to do when my kids were little.
I’m guessing the reason was because they were people of color, and had at some time been accused of stealing or not planning to pay for the crackers.
To Lori, thank you for digging into your pain to try to help people understand.
My experience (well, one example… of many):
I’ll start by saying I’m white, so mine is more of an observational than personally experiential. Having said that: My best friend through (and since) college is black. We have lived together, vacationed together… we’ve done just about everything that best friends do… together. And throughout our nearly 30 year friendship one thing has always been true, and remains so to this day. If the two of us walk into a room together (could be a hotel, could be a police station, could be anywhere), and a discussion needs to take place between us and someone of authority… that person almost invariably begins by addressing me. It is simply assumed I speak for us, and that I am our authority figure (This is, of course, not a strange experience to any women reading I’m sure, they typically get the same treatment).
I didn’t understand white privilege until I started seeing (and being offended by) my best friend being marginalized in almost every conversation we had that was not with our existing group of friends. The only thing that is worse than the activity are the excuses and denials that most often follow it when I confront people about it.
The thing about white privilege that white people don’t typically get (that I didn’t get until I started seeing it happen, first hand, to someone I cared about) is that it’s not about being rich, or having access to more things, or even having things handed to you; it’s about the fact that you are treated differently when confronted with the exact same circumstances, based on nothing more that the color of your skin. With privilege, your words are (by default) accepted rather than questioned (as are your motives and actions), without it, the opposite is true.
I’ve watched for years as people commented about how well spoken my friend is… no one feels the need to say this about me. This is because it is expected of me, and a bit of a surprise when it comes to him. How many times have you heard someone say “he is incredibly well spoken” about a black athlete after an interview? Now count the number of times you have heard the same when the person speaking was white.
A society that assumes white people are smarter, that assumes white people are the authorities, that – simply put – assumes white people are superior… that is a society of white privilege.
Thank you for the great response to the post. You get it……
I am white and have been saying this for years. I have two bi-racial children, and because I confront the white priveledge, I am told I am just an emotional Mother, or just sticking up for my children.
Those offended by the White Privilege title….Will for the most part, never understand. To understand means they would have to confront truths they want no part of.
How many times have you heard a black athlete butcher the English language during an interview? Now count the number of times you have heard the same when the athlete speaking was white. Stereotypes do not arise from thin air. They are based on many many observations. The majority set the expectation. If the majority of black people you meet cannot tell the difference between “ask” and “aks”, it is NATURAL to expect it from MOST of them, and to be surprised when the normal mold is broken.
Its not “white privilege” that white people are expected to have a better grasp of English than black people, that’s WHITE BEHAVIOR.
I understand better than most this “singling out because of physical characteristics” crap, as I am red-headed and fair skinned. We make up less than 2% of the population, whereas blacks make up 13%. Do you think our “differences” are EVER pointed out or used in a stereotypical fashion? ALL DAY EVERY DAY. I’m supposed to have “temper control problems” because I’m a red-head. I don’t think non-redheads have some “privilege” of being thought of as even-tempered. I think idiotic red-heads have given us all a bad name by having poor temper control. The stereotype wasn’t made up by one individual some day on a whim. It was a pattern of behavior.
You fit into a group that you don’t want to be in. . . .join the club. There’s plenty of them that aren’t the “black” or “browned skin” ones.
Thank you fro underlining the point… that “WHITE BEHAVIOR” as you put it, is considered superior and the standard by which everything is to be evaluated is exactly the issue. That *is* the white privilege. I think, perhaps, where you get tripped up is in thinking that it is somehow a bad thing to be privileged… it’s not.
Those that aren’t, though, are *in fact* at a disadvantage… and I’d think (dare I say hope) that any decent person out there would want to rectify that. Not by compromising your own position, but by being a part of the effort to raise others to a position of equal standing. Whether you fit into the “decent person” category or not, I don’t know (and I’m certainly not here to insinuate that you are not)… that’s up to you to decide and act upon, frankly. But, the fact of the matter is… if a group of people is being disadvantaged, the citizens of the country I grew up being told we are do something about it. If not, whats the point?
Powerful and I thank you for opening my eyes. We all need to walk in one another’s shoes. That’s the only way we can change perceptions. Thanks for allowing me a glimpse of what it’s like to walk in yours.
I don’t think you can be guilty of ‘privilege’, so there is no need for the ‘privileged’ party to feel they just by having ‘privilege’ they are ‘contributing’ to it. A better understanding is that we all need to understand how we perpetuate this sort of thing and contribute to an institutionalized system that is inherently unfair. You encounter two people, one is white and one is black. You are (pick one). Do you always address the person who shares your skin color? Or do you make a selection based on some other criteria? In order to fix this, we all need to become color blind.
It’s hard to be colorblind when a situation occurs and one replies “what’s the big deal?”
The most dangerous privilege is unexamined privilege
so sweep it under the rug and lets all hold holds in the dark and pretend it does not exist?… yeah ok.
I fully agree with your last sentence. But on the whole privilege needs to be claimed. It cannot be given, or yielded. Look at all the well to do, highly educated black people, such as the writer of the White Privilege article.
The problem boils down to belief. The world would be a better place if more people believed that they are equal to the best of us, which would allow them to just walk on when they come across the bigot.
And walk straight out of the bank where you were refused a loan based on your race; or when you are stopped by police for driving or walking or trying to get into your own house while black
Privilege bestowed at birth is absorbed, not claimed. The hardest part about white privilege to me, is getting rid of it. I don’t want it, but I can’t change my ethnicity and so other white people will continue to assume I’m in their club. The world would be a better place if more people believed in the inherent worth and dignity of every individual. As for walking away from the bigot, ask Trayvon Martin’s family how that works out for Black people.
Thank you very much for posting this.
Once I started learning about these things I, as an older white woman, saw and heard examples of “white privilege”. A few: I moved to a mostly black neighborhood and although it was two blocks from my previous home there was a precipitous drop in various services I received — newspaper delivery, garbage pickup, etc. It took me a while to figure it out but conversations on the phone made it clear that suddenly I lived in a “dangerous” neighborhood. The whole block was racially profiled! I once had a man break in in the middle of the night, make a lot of racket, and I locked my bedroom door and called the police. The burglar was white man from a large city many miles away and the policeman was black. When the case came up for a preliminary hearing the DA asked me and the policeman “What was that man doing in your house in the middle of the night? He doesn’t look like a burglar! I could see the expression on the black policeman’s face and I was speechless! The policeman did say something but I saw he felt a lot more. I called the DA later and asked him what he had meant and if it was a racial remark. He said of course not but couldn’t offer an alternate explanation. He also had talked extensively with the perp and his lawyer and told me how terrible it was that this young burglar now was shut out of his desired profession as a policeman! Needless to say, the man never did any jail time and didn’t complete his court ordered restitution. Another time I called the police about a missing car and the policeman told me it was probably stolen by a Puerto Rican. Although I am rarely stopped for a traffic violation, when I am I rarely get a ticket and every white police officer has been very affable to me. Working in the yard I sometimes listened to books on tape and listening with the awareness that others might overhear what I was listening to made me more aware that some novels gave white characters names where as other characters were only “the Indian” or “the black man.” A favorite mystery novelist I suddenly noticed had caricatures rather than people when it came to her black characters. And so on…. So it is a little hard to believe that if Jason were really looking he couldn’t notice these things on his own. I know since being with me, my husband has become better than most people at noticing sexism. If he is sincere, he will now be able to see white privilege all around him. Of course he has to put himself in situations where it manifests itself, places where he can see the treatment of POC.
I do not deny the experiences you list and describe in your post. However, to the extent your friend acknowledges “white privilege DOES exist” in response to your request, is the extent to which it subsists.
Thank you for the time you spent writing this, for sharing it with the greater public, and for being willing to relive the painful moments you experience(d). I am truly grateful.
I read your article three times, to give it the chance it deserves. Your entire thesis is driven by confirmation bias; nothing more. White privilege is a social science construct fabricated to explain hard data that defies the narrative promulgated by black activists. Black people are half the prison population; must be institutional racism. Black people are more than half the NBA; no problem. The biggest obstacle to black American success is the intellectually dishonest and brutally harmful White Privilege argument. The reason for disparities in success between races is largely cultural, or economic. Family values, strong father figures and dedication to education are what dishonest intellectuals label as White Priviledge. If the black community embraced those values rather than glorification of thug life, intentional marginalization (calling yourself ‘our community’) and exporting of liability for your own success, we would be one nation of successful, integrated and happy people. I am sorry you are so angry; you went to Harvard, act like it.
what? omg u are an idiot…plz don’t try and represent my race…god help us all. Now with that being said I don’t think she is hateful at all she was answering the question pose, very eloquently I might add. Please enjoy ur white privilege in ur own little bubble because most of us don’t care about ur opinion.
People like you are the problem. All the writer is trying to show is that there is privilege associated w/being white. The fact the you won’t even consider her points show a biased attitude. As a successful black man, I resent how you characterize black people as growing up in fatherless homes & basically being criminals. I myself was raised in a two parent home. My wife & I are raising 4 intelligent, beautiful children. My wife & I are both successful educated professionals. Also as a matter of fact, black people have contributed greatly to the success of this country. The first succesful open heart surgery was done by a black man. The traffic light was invented by a black man. But history does not teach these things. In fact, a lot of inventions by black people were credited to white people. How’s that for “white privilege”! As long as people like you continue to propagate, the problem will continue to exist! Wake up man!!!
George Washington Carver said that, “Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom” and became one of the greatest inventors and discoverers of our time…..and I fully believe his statement. Education, education, education! That makes all the difference in how races are respected and treated..
As anyone can see, the educated black man is treated differently than the uneducated one; it’s the same with any race. But it stands out more with the black man because the black man stands out more. That may not be the PC way to describe a black American, but it’s a physical fact. When you incorporate a manner of talking, walking and behavior….people become suspicious and demeaning of the radicalness of the race that does so, or what they perceive it to be. They compare that picture to others, such as the Asian. It appears that Asian folks strive for education and success, live mostly detached from the other cultures and colors in our country and have minimal interaction with the police, or any extreme group. That makes them non-threatening and culturally welcome as they are perceived to add to the overall culture of America. It may not be right, or even a constant, but I believe it’s all something that must be factored in to be racially honest.
Education is the key.
George Washington Carver was a black man who lived in the late 1800’d and into the 1900’s. He discovered over 300 uses just for the peanut but also was an incredible botanist and chemist who worked with anything that grew and discovered more uses for them than any other man. He was, and is, one the most highly respected men of science there ever was….
This (“As anyone can see, the educated black man is treated differently than the uneducated one”) is a very dangerous and mistaken (if taken as all encompassing) statement. The black man I mentioned in my earlier comments (my best friend of nearly 30 years) is very well educated and quite successful… neither of those things has prevented him (and me, in a different way, also described in my comment) from experiencing “white privilege.”
Certainly, anything you do to conform and “normalize” yourself to society will improve how you are perceived within it. However, that does not address the deficit experienced by some groups of people at the starting line.
Perhaps thinking of it this way will help. Lets say we are all going to race in the 100 yard dash. Except, you have to start 5 yards behind the starting line for each of these things that applies to you (to be clear, I’m oversimplifying here… not everything listed carries the same disadvantage, and assigning the same 5 yards to each in real life wouldn’t be fair):
1. non-white
2. female
3. LGBT and “out”
4. Muslim
5. you are impoverished
I could list more, but you should be able to understand how the list is being constructed.
“White privilege” is the “privilege” of starting at the regular starting line. Yes, everyone runs in the same conditions; if it rains, you all deal with that… if it’s super-hot, you all deal with that as well. And you all finish at the same place; However, the bottom line is that you do not all start in the same place.
The assumptions that are made about my friend almost every time we walk into a new setting set him back “five yards” before the race even begins. If he was a woman, it would be 10, this is the “intersectionality” that has been brought up so many times both in the piece and in comments.
So, yes, it’s true, if you are white and poor, you are starting 5 yards back as well. However, if you were in the exact same economic situation and black you would be 10 yards back (and 15 if you happened to also be a woman). No one wants to take away “your” struggle (in quotes because I’m talking about anyone who has struggled, not referring directly to the person who’s comment I am responding to)… I’m sure it is very real.
In my earlier comments I intentionally left out the part of my life that was spent on foodstamps and took place in government project housing were I was one of three white children in the entire neighborhood. I left that out because I’ve learned enough over the years to understand that, while it sucked, it would have sucked that much more if nothing else changed except that I was also black… or LGBT… or a woman. It’s not about “your” struggle being marginalized, “your” struggle is real, and should be talked about. However, this conversation is about understanding that, if you are white, it could have been worse. And, for a whole class (multiple classes, actually) of citizens, in what is supposed to be one of the greatest and enlightened nations on Earth… it still is.
I’m African, I live and reside in Senegal where I teach philosophy. But at any time I travel yo Europe or to the United States I’m confronted with thesed kinds of questions : where did you learn to speak French or English ( my country is a francophone one)? Why are you interested in philosophy ? People are always surprised to see in some places that are not yours, according to them. If you’ve never been confronted to such issues youre enjoying white privilege.
When I read comments like these, it helps me better understand that so many people like Donald Trump & want him to lead this country.
I don’t think it’s at all unbiased to link bigoted behavior from one fool to Donald Trump. What Duke has spewed is disgusting not only for his words but for the fact he is just saying what he believes. This article was wonderful. Thank you. Duke is an example of the scourge of our society.
I don’t see where Donald Trump has anything to do with this discussion and I resent the fact that you went where you did. Donald Trump may not be the perfect candidate for president but we’ve never had a perfect candidate. He wants to make America great again, he cares about our Military and our Vets. He didn’t have to take on the candidacy he has plenty of money, plenty of other things he could be doing and he could live anywhere in the world. I think this shows that he truly does care. Does he sometimes say things he shouldn’t? Of course, we all do! But at the end of the day what matters are what your true intentions are and I will always believe that he truly does love America even when his mouth gets ahead of his brain.
Make America Great Again! That’s what we need.
Julie Roster, can you tell me when AmeriKKKa was great?
Have you kept up with the leadership your president is displaying? Are you noticing how he is promising jobs to coal miners that can never be given because technology and because the use of other kinds of fuel are replacing that industry? Are you aware that rules meant to protect consumers from bad investment advice are being rescinded, executive orders have been given to repeal the clean power plan, the scaling back of the Affordable Care Act will leave millions of Americans without health care, and so on and so on…
Are you still understanding?
Duke Sota wrote, “Family values, strong father figures and dedication to education are what dishonest intellectuals label as White Priviledge.”
Google search: “Did you mean: Privilege”
Me: You arrogant bigot.
Typical duke. I was sure there were going to be comments like yours. To state your stereotypes as if all black people are exactly the same. Many black people come from two parent households. You are a perfect example of “white privilege!”
Let me start off by saying, I believe that anyone, no matter who you are, what you look like or where you’re from, deserve what you get by working for it and earning it. That said, Thank you! “As if all black people are the same.” This statement right here shows that the term “Black Lives Matter” are for a group of people that make excuses by their skin colour to act a certain way. Everyone has something they’ve dealt with in life and had to overcome by prejudice. Whether they are too fat, too skinny, Asian, Jewish, the list goes on. I hate to see anyone get singled out for whatever their differences, but people need to STOP using those differences as reasons to act in a certain way. “White privilege” is a term made up, again, for people to act out and make themselves a martyr. It seems now theirs “black privilege” just because they are black eg: people are considered racist if they choose someone over a black person for something who happens to be white. Chaos ensues. How is that right? I, as a white person, have never had privileges handed to me just because I am white. I have, however, not had certain things because I am a bigger girl. Should I start a “Plus size matters” club? NO because that is segregation, something that ended over fifty years ago. By saying “Black Lives Matter,” they are segragating themselves, it’s not white people doing it. I hope one day EVERYONE stops the “I’m black, you’re white; you’re black, I’m white; you’re fat; you’re skinny; you’re this; you’re that” and realize that EVERYONE is human and stop singling THEMSELVES out for their differences as well. This post was not meant to offensive to anyone and I do apologize if it comes off that way.
+1 for Duke
This is the most honest thing i’ve seen in a long time. Thank you!
I’d like to know how exactly is a black person in anyway qualified to tell me that I experience “white privilege”???
Because you can’t ever get another perspective on things if you shut your eyes and ears whenever someone different than you speaks, and only listen to those who agree with you.
Chris,
First, she’s not telling “you”. She’s responding to the question as asked by her white friend. That’s why she’s writing; that’s the justification. Her examples are from her experience about which she is the authority. That’s her qualifications. But, even IF you have never experienced white privilege that does not mean it does not exist. That is simply false reasoning.
But, more fundamentally, white privilege, as a kind of institutional racism, is observable by all if they care to look. We all live in this society and can see it, even if we don’t experience it in the SAME way. Some of us benefit, some are disadvantaged by it.
If you deny that all of the claims being made of what constitutes white privilege are false, (e.g. the statements in bold at the end of each itemized point), then make your case, if you can. But, be aware that because you may have experienced some prejudice or injustice, does not mean white privilege does not exist. Privilege is relative, it’s comparative. When others are unduly treated worse and/or one is treated better, that is a privilege. When that treatment is due to race, that is racialized privilege. If we as a nation truly believe in equality, a supposedly founding principle of the country, then to be American we should be opposed to this inequality and actively seek to minimize and erase it. If you believe in merit, equality, liberty, then you must be against unwarranted benefits/disadvantage to INDIVIDUALS which accrue from one’s race.
If you disagree with what I’ve written, then make an argument against it. Don’t write “How are you qualified to talk about America?” or “Why do you think you can talk about founding principles?” That’s mere obfuscation. You’ve made no points in your first post; here’s your chance to say something.
Exactly MR and Chris
Then look up Tim Wise on YouTube and hear it from a white person but hear it all the same. It takes study and effort to realize how and why we are where we are. Why subliminal and sometimes blatantly open messages in society, media, and education color our view of blacks and our own history. Even when raised by parents who tried to prevent and shield us from racist ideas, it seeps in from every level if society.
Taking offense is ridiculous, it is not to feel guilt for the white privilege you have yet to see or acknowledge, but once recognized, to acknowledge and help others to see and work for changes. To take no action for wrongs is to side with the oppressor!
To understand white privilege and societal implanted prejudice, you have to understand history, real history, not what most have been taught in schools. Why do so many whites think blacks are more likely to be criminals, it started after the Civil War with black codes that allowed them to arrest most blacks for things as trivial as standing around, vagrancy, and effectively continue using them as unpaid slave labor through the prisons. This practice in some form has continued to this day. You grew up seeing films of chain gangs, all black of course, and you think this had no effect on how you view blacks in general? Just one tiny example.
Poverty in America was once iconic photos of those hit hardest by the depression, Oklahoma dust bowl victims, Appalachians, all white and overall sentiment in America was compassion and support for programs that would help. From the 1960s to today, close to 80% of images of poverty, or welfare programs in the news are blacks and a huge segment of white America now sees these as black issues and programs despite the reality that they help an overwhelming majority of white people. Cutting these programs back will affect millions more white than black, but the misperceptions persist. Did you see Marco Rubio on the campaign trail asked about cutting “entitlement” programs? His response to the question “I don’t want to give blacks a hand out, but a hand up to help themselves”. Why did he even say the word black, when they are the minority receiving assistance? Institutionalized racism.
Following WWII whites were given FHA loans for new homes in the suburbs, VA loans for homes and education, there was an explosion of middle class, well paying jobs and blacks were not included in any of that, even if a war veteran. Black neighborhoods were redlined and policies in place that no one inside those lines could get a loan, or a house or a different job. Social Security did not apply to the majority of blacks because to pass the legislation, southern legislators demanded it not include domestic workers or agricultural workers, nearly 100% people of color. You don’t think your grandparents and parents benefitted from that and in turn you?
Did you ever fear that failing a test, the teacher might conclude that all white people are stupid and unable to learn? That is white privilege. Did you ever worry that you wouldn’t find an apartment or house to rent because your way of talking identified you in a specific group? That is white privilege. Did you ever worry someone else less qualified would get a job because your name on a resume identified you as a minority? That is white privilege! White privilege is getting 98% of the scholarships and jobs and complaining that some black kid got one of the 2% left through affirmative action and that is somehow a form of reverse discrimination! White privilege is your teachers telling you you are not working up to your potential while accepting the failure of black students. White privilege is you not knowing, comprehending, nor caring to know any of this and how it has played into your psychi, your thought processes, your little understood internal biases that you do not even know where it came from or when or where you learned it. It is white privilege because you didn’t have to know to survive. Black people don’t have that luxury to not know or not understand. They have to survive in a white culture governed by white people, to standards in behavior, language, and education determined by and controlled by white people. Being white, even the poorest of the poor whites, simply never ever have to think about such things. What side of town you live on, whether you should drive through specific neighborhoods because doing so will get you targeted by police, what clothing you wear, not having to worry about any of that is white privilege. A survey asking white people if they would agree to being treated like black people are, got zero volunteers. The poorest white people would not trade places with Chris Rock or Lebron James despite the money, if it meant being black. Now that is some heavy white privilege there!
Institutionalized racism, policies and laws that were intended to give an advantage to whites and intended to exclude those of color have existed since the beginning of this nation and while things have improved somewhat, they still exist and continue to this day often under hidden names that merely imply who they are directed at, but those of us who recognize our white privilege, also recognize the code words and the intention of such policies, often thinly disguised as offering help. If you are white in America, even poor and struggling, you have had privilege. It doesn’t take much to discover it and recognize it! Then the challenge is what are you going to do about it?
A bank alarm goes off. A white man and a black man come running out of the bank. The police arrive. Who do you think will be apprehended first? if you say the white man, you are delusional. That is white privilege. It has nothing to do with wealth, success, education, etc. It has everything to do with the color of your skin.
I once saw a demonstration of White Privilege. It definitely exists. I am white. This demonstration opened my eyes. People of several different races (black, white, Asian, Hispanic, I think none else) stood in a line from right to left. A situation was called out and anyone who had experienced it stepped forward. The situations were things similar to what the author has mentioned above. At the end, the ONLY people still standing in their original places were the white people. EVERY SINGLE ONE. The Asian people did not move as far forward as the blacks and Hispanics. Yes, White Privilege does, indeed, exist. If you are white and you don’t believe it, it’s because you have never been subject to prejudice behaviors and you are blind to the plight of others. This is (your blindness), in fact, White Privilege at work. Your comments are, in fact, White Privilege at work.
My comments were a result of Duke’s comments….
It might be informative and educational to investigate just HOW “white privilege” came about. Why didn’t the black race become more dominant (we’re all ‘out of Africa’) and why aren’t we addressing how unfair the existence of “Black privilege” has negatively affected our lives. Reverse the roles; see what comes up….
It all began with white people trampling the Native Americans, and stealing black Africans to become their slaves, all without reproach! Just as POC and Native Americans continue to suffer the rippling effects of the white mans pillage and greed, you sir continue to benefit. The white man secured his position through the physical and psychological genocide of Native and African people. You should be ashamed instead of looking for avenues to deny your own lineage. You are most certainly the problem and denying that white privilege exist and digging up white privilege driven research just proves the point overwhelmingly! Shame on you!
Stealing black Africans? You should brush up on your history, Dnise.
That didn’t happen?
Your response to Lori lays bare for all to see that you, Duke, and people like you, are the problem. You not only missed the points of the article, you exposed your own embedded racism by making ridiculous statements to the effect that black mothers should focus on educating their children instead of raising them to be thugs. I’m as white as they come and I’M offended by your narrow-mindedness and your apparent desire to promulgate your ridiculous (and un-researched) assumptions. You’re not only racist, you’re just plain ignorant. And apparently blind, since Lori gave at leasr 6 examples of being “verbally assaulted” (and, yes, I am choosing that phrase deliberately) as a black girl / woman growing up with enough focus on education to get into Harvard, and yet still suffered needlessly the derisive comments of others, and now you.
What is astonishing in your comments is 1) the absence of even a shred of empathy from you for how Lori has been maligned throughout her life on account of her skin color, and 2) your lack of intelligence (or interest) about understanding WHY half the prison population is black. Why don’t you act like you went to Harvard and make a study of that. You might be surprised at what you find.
Personally I think the phrase White Privilege connotes to white people something other than what the black community intends. Countless whites who are suffering financially and in other ways most likely view White Privilege as an economic class, i.e., a term for whites with gated mansions and private jets, not how they would describe their own lives. Therefore, I had to put some effort into understanding what the term means to blacks, and I have. You, apparently have not, and don’t seem the type inclined to anyway. This lack of effort on your part — and millions of others — is what has given rise to the phrase and the movement in the firat place. As I see it, its an effort to showcase the mostly undocumented and yet horrifying ways blacks have been marginalized, often despite their education or success.
We will all live peacefully together when we truly seek to understand the plight of each other. And then take action to change it, repair it, etc. You are doing neither, and that’s a choice.
As a 74 y/o white woman, I can tell you many whites do not understand the difference between white privilege and class privilege.
This article is beautiful and it makes me sad that so many things we fought against in the 60’s are still around and some never changed….they just went below the surface. Today’s divisive times and ‘dog whistle’ politics are bringing it in the open for all to see.
Thank you, Debra.
You are clueless in your narcissistic, white privileged world view. You are righteously bullying and discounting the experiences of the eloquent writer – a clear sign you have no clue about white privilege. i have no doubt that whatever anyone says to you here will only serve to feed your apparent need to put people down. I hope you have some kind of epiphany and start opening yourself to opportunity to learn.
You have proven the author’s point. Thank you.
Well written..Intelligently and thoughtfully carried out discussion.
THANK – YOU for sharing
…
If you want to argue differences being largely cultural or economic you should acknowledge that those cultural and economic differences are a result of slavery, segregation, gentrification, and the Jim Crow era. They are a result of institutionalized racism just as our contemporary white privilege is a result of the phenomenon. The current racial issues and differences are a direct result of past actions in this country, not some kind of inherent flaw in Black people. To argue otherwise is disingenuous.
I am White. I have had the privilege of never being questioned or stopped by police officers. I have had the privilege of access to a college education (and a decent k-12 education that Black people are disproportionately not given access to due to the institutionalized racism that has caused many Black people to be negatively affected economically). I have had the privilege of never wondering if I received a lower grade or was passed over for a job because of the color of my skin. I have had the privilege of never wondering if I got a job because of the color of my skin and nothing else.
Last year I watched the premier of a game about institutionalized racism. The game was still in paper form, but the concept was to take the player through the day of a Black man. The player has to decide what to do as people cross the street while looking at them in fear, refuse them service based on the color of their skin, call them a derogatory name, and finally are stopped by a police officer who wants to search their stuff without a warrant. The game has many levels, but this was just the very first walk on the very first day. The experience was so powerful, the woman testing it out cried. I hope the game gets published and widely distributed because it’s clear from comments like this, Duke, that it is very much needed.
I’m Canadian so this issue is a little remote for me, however it seems strange to berate someone for embracing things like family values,strong father figures and dedication to education. Furthermore it’s been my experience that people with a strong work ethic succeed regardless of race, sex, religion or what have you.
The berating was not his embracing of family values, strong fathers, and dedication to education. It was because he assumed that an entire race of people in the US does NOT embrace those things.
As a Canadian this is how we practise racism in Canada, by feigning ignorance and focusing on some little part of a comment board to pull it apart… so we can feel happy in our smug hypocrisy..
Confirmation bias? No. Most of these are concrete examples of racism, some more subtle, some more direct.
White privilege is also about denying that racism exists and discrediting the experiences of those who state that racism does exist.
Well done. You have added to the list.
Growing up I lived in a predominantly black projects. I was one of two white families and one Hispanic family .. Needless to say my sisters and I were assaulted daily with endless name-calling . Cracker, honke,whitey etc. That went on for the next 12 years until we move to racially divided neighborhood. Black people criticize us because were not supposed to live in the projects and the white people criticize us because were not supposed to live in the projects . We had to take it from both sides daily . The reason for the move because my sisters and I were developing breast and were sexually harassed on a daily basis going to and from school. Before we moved, and great school I went to a Catholic school ,which was predominately white with the exceptions of 4 black children , who also reside in the projects. In fourth grade I had a white nun who was horrifically prejudice against me because how dare I live in the projects. It was perfectly acceptable for my friend Kim (who was one of the black children in her class and also resided in the projects) to live there. I realize years later that that was a horrible affront to Kim as well as myself. One day my girlfriend cut my hair into a style called the mushroom. It is very common in the 70s especially for black children. My nun went nuts and put my hair into 50 tiny tiny rubber bands and made me walk home that way. I will never forget the day my mom went to school and put the nun against the blackboard and cursed her out. After I explain all the things that nun had John to torture me throughout the year , they moved my class. Fast forward to 7th , new neighborhood and new school. I went to a public. predominantly black , school. I had a social studies teacher that was black and very openly prejudice. I was used to seeing such prejudice at this point so I was not particularly fazed. On the day of our aptitude test me and 2 other white students were asked to step outside. We could hear her talking about how black children had to do great on their scores because all the adversity they were going to experience. Vicky , who had going to that school much longer than I , said it was common practice for a lot of teachers to make them wait outside while they spoke with black students and encourage them to do well or had talks about black history month. She was not particularly phase as well because she was used to this too. I came back , my black friends told me exactly what she said. I didn’t mention it because I loved my school and my friends and I didn’t want my mom repeating what she had done to the nun. Fast-forward another 15 some years. My husband took the test for the police academy after getting out of the army . He had won medals for marksmanship . He was (and still is ) good friends with a few fellow black cadets . He took the all the tests and scored in the low 90s . A few of his friends scored in the high 80’s . He was rejected and openly told they needed to fill in minority spot. Two in fact . They hired one if his black cadet friends and one of his Hispanic friends . They shared their testing results as friends do, and found that he scored slightly lower than him and yet still or accepted . My daughter who was 19 and still rebellious at that time , went to Philadelphia to an area that was known for dragracing. Absolutely she should not of been there…. but she was a bystander. She went there with four friends . One of which was a law student. She had just had her tongue pierced and was pulled over by a black women police officer. When asked why she had mouthwash in the car. She explained I just had my tongue pierced, and stuck out her tongue to show proof. The police officer throw her up against her seat and choked her and told her to get her lilly white ass back to the suburbs. The law student started to record it. The other black male police officer made him hand over his phone and removed the video. When she got home we could see the red marks on her neck but by the next day they were absolutely black and blue. We absolutely insisted upon filing a police report but she was so terrorize that she would not do it. We begged and begged her but she was 19, it was her choice, and she did not want to go through all that. she didn’t want to file because one it was the police and two she thought she wouldn’t be believed because racism , when is the reversed ,does not count. I tried to tell my story on another journalistic site and he deleted it. A few ( presumably white)people responded to me on Facebook to say deleted their stories of racism as well. Not trying to add any fuel to an inferno , just telling my Journey and the things that marred my childhood and adulthood too. Have a blessed day.
Sad story, but more sadly, you missed the point as many have here. Anecdotal accounts are everywhere on this site. Everyone suffers discrimination for some reason or other. The difference for black people is the quantity and the level of hatred involved. i live in a very liberal area but my 3 black step children who went to prestigious prep-schools and college were constantly dealing with racial epithets, put-down slurs, police harassment, and at one point a district attorney who doctored evidence to make a white kid who attacked my step son appear the victim. That DA was exposed and fired. Please reveal to me a white person that by the age of 20 had suffered serious discrimination at least 100 times. Until I married my brown wife I had no idea of how awful and degrading it can be.
I suggest you read “Waking Up White and finding myself in the story of race by Debby Irving” then please come back and comment, thank you
Wow Duke! You sound like the one who is angry. So angry in fact that you seem to have read Lori’s article with the proverbial blinders on. You fully display the exact point that she was making. I can’t speak for Lori, but I’d agree that many black activists like Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson do aggravate the white privilege issue.
I grew up on a farm, in a very rural part of Nebraska. Therefore I was isolated from races other than my own Caucasian race. When I left home to further my education at 19 was my first experience with other races and people of other backgrounds. Yet, my attitude and feelings still had a white privilege overtone when interacting with other races. My parents never told me that I was better than others because I was white, nor did my K-12 education or local community. Yet, what I saw on TV was enough to taint my perception.
What helped me to quickly check these feelings was my own experience with Healthy People Privilege. I was born with severe scoliosis and a severe club foot. My teachers and peers quickly taught me that because I was physically different, handicapped, that I probably had mental deficiencies as well. I experienced many similar situations that Lori recited based on the fact I was different physically than others.
From the age of five I always wanted to be a pilot. Yet many felt that was not a realistic goal for me to set. Thankfully I can be strong willed and defiant. Between my Sophomore and Junior years in high school I earned my private pilots license. By this time I was no longer wearing back and leg braces. Yet I still needed to wear a one inch lift on my right shoe. Because of all the back and foot surgeries I walked with a slight limp and slightly bent forward. Three times in my flying career I was questioned if I could really fly the airplane because of my “physical” appearance, despite the certificates and ratings bestowed on me by the FAA. One of those times I had just been hired by a corporation. During the day long interview process I meant with the Aviation Manager who questioned my ability. But at the end of the day the chief pilot offered me the job. I returned to my home half way across the country but a few days later the chief pilot called me. He said before being able to finalize the job offer they wanted me to come back and do a check ride. Here I am, a pilot holding the highest level of certificate that the FAA can give, the ATP, but my ability was still in question because of the lift on my shoe and that I didn’t walk quite perfectly enough. I almost told the chief pilot what he could do with his job offer, but I ended up going back for a check ride that I flew to perfection! It had to be perfect because any little misstep would have giving them an “out.”
Since you started with an assumption in your response to Lori I’ll make one concerning you. I assume you are a totally healthy white male that has had relatively few difficulties in life based on any of your physical characteristics. If so I am happy for you and hope you truly count your blessings each day. I know I count my blessings each day because I can experience life, and people, by focusing on their spirit and personality and not their attractive physical “abilities.” This allows for much more intimate and personal friendships and relationships. I hope you can too learn to experience life in this way.
well said!
Im still waiting on my white privilege.
And there is no global warming and the earth is flat…
So does this mean obama only has half of his white privileges?
Duke. You are a human being. Act like it- humanely.
I didn’t see her post as angry at all. Institutional bias makes it more likely to be accepted as an athlete than a scholar. You come across as a man who feels threatened by successful people of color.
The most dangerous privilege is unexamined privilege.
Duke begins with a legitimate point on “confirmation bias”. As a kid, with other kids, we threw rocks in a neighbor girls pool. She was white (I had a crush on her). And on #3, I lived in Africa for some years and certainly experienced it quite a bit. It’s tiresome, and I don’t think Africans understood their “privilege” in not being made fun of in the same way, because it was an extremely diverse society where privileges were complex (tribe, gender, language). I assume most felt I could not be offended because as a westerner I was safe. But then many of my best friends did express a lot of concern for me (and one one train trip a drunk guy tried to get the other Africans in the car to throw me off the train). What I try not to do is use these examples to make myself “special” or “enlightened”. I know I have many privileges, more than most, and very many of those do correlate positively to my white race. But to infer that a person is more privileged or less privileged based on the skin color is a complex case of correlation and causation. Whiteness correlates positively to privilege. But that’s the same “correlation vs. causation” fallacy which I find objectionable in the latter part of Duke’s reply. Assumptions based on race are always a guess, inferior to truly knowing the individual. If you don’t know me, it’s a fair assumption I’m privileged in ways I don’t understand. But if my parents were crackheads, or I was a sexual traffic victim, or lived most of my life as a Bosnian under Serb genocide, and you don’t know that, I don’t think its fair to assume that because you have had negative experiences that I have not, or that yours are somehow more special. At the end of the day, I find that some of the white people who applaud the “white privilege” meme do so more to leverage the “racism” that the “don’t have”, but it tends to be applauded by people who have not lived in situations which muddy the water on the whole theme.
It’s all very constructive for USA society to consider the inequities, it makes us stronger. But logically questioning things like confirmation bias, correlation vs. causation, and unintended consequences should definitely be a welcome part of the “discussion”. I hope they are.
There is institutionalized racism in professional sports. Read a damn book.
anyone no matter what background can tell who is angry darling– your horns are showing- white devil.
If you can’t spell privilege you probably should step off your intellectual high horse.
So, white privilege is a myth? And, you use the example of Black people making up half of the prison population. Well Black people make up half of the prison population because whites have the privilege of not being policed the same way as Blacks (no stop and frisk, arrest quotas, racial profiling or war on drugs going on in the suburbs), whites have the privilege of everyone of importance who works in the prosecutors office looking like them so they get drug programs/probation and PTI types of programs that will remove arrest from their records when they complete the program…Something Blacks are rarely ever offered…Whites are privileged to have people like you how say white privilege doesn’t exist…Since there’s no privilege as you say then you’d have no problem being treated the same exact way that this country treats Blacks? Since there’s no difference…Right?
That was meant for Duke.
Duke Sota, your comments belie the ignorance and the arrogance that reveals the irony of your own white privilege. When you see something you don’t like, you simply throw surface knowledge to justify your ignorance without any in depth analysis whatsoever in order to get someone black particularly to shut up. You then use big words to further accentuate your own perceived intellect. You automatically assume that black people are just thugs without further understanding the conditions created by your indifference. You don’t even realize how that wherever blacks have achieved, there was someone white to either steal or destroy what was invented or built by blacks. Look at Black Wall Street for example (Tulsa, OK 1921). As black communities increased to the point that other nations wanted to do business with them, the Ku Klux Klan (KKK) dropped sticks of dynamite from the air on black businesses and churches totally demolishing and by burning them in an ensuing race war that claimed the lives of 3000 blacks who’d built a very prosperous community. Then there was the race war of East St. Louis, and the race war of Chicago just to point to other examples. Let’s look at today. When I apply for a job, I have to overcome the stereotype that all blacks are thugs and therefore I have to be much better than the next white guy just to get the job. There most certainly is a correlation between the high unemployment rates in black communities and this stereotype. When I get pulled over by the police, I have to explain every gesture that I make. I have to tell the officer that I’m reaching for my wallet and where my wallet is so that I can give him or her my driver license. I can remember when I was about 20 or so, I had a two year old Ford Taurus at the time and I got pulled over constantly to be asked questions like “where are you going? Where are you coming from? Why were you there? Why are you going where you are going? Whose car is this?” only to give him my driver license and vehicle registration for him to literally match the registration to the VIN and then come back to repeat the same bevy of questions. I do not have a criminal record and never had one. It’s a good thing to put yourself in someone else’s shoes but you couldn’t relate because you have no idea what life is like for a black man because you will not experience it being white. If you moved to a black neighborhood, you could simply move back to a white neighborhood and it’s over with but I can’t. Existentially, things are COMPLETELY different for you in comparison. So before you are so quick to point fingers at our failure, just remember that your people have played a significant role in it. I’m not racist by any means but your post really touched something in me. Comments like yours are very divisive and show a total lack of understanding.
Hey there! I’m a little confused as to your reasoning behind black people being half the prison population if it’s not institutionalized racism? Is it maybe because you believe racist stereotypes about black folks? I feel like the only explanation white people may have for the state of inner-city, impoverished black communities (other than the systemic racism that stems from hundreds of years of slavery plus consistent denial of rights, education, and property) is the fact that as white people, we tend to believe black folks are inherently lazy, stupid, violent, and cruel. As I’m sure you could agree, these beliefs aren’t true and are ~wow amazing~ deeply rooted in racism. When you tell a black woman that she is “exporting liability for her own success,” which I can only assume you think means “blaming other people for her problems,” you’re telling her that the daily injustice her community faces is a result of its own actions. But why would an entire race of people just screw itself over on the daily? Well then, they must just be inferior to white people! It couldn’t possibly be that the black community is not only attempting to recover from hundreds of years of institutionalized racism, but continues to face that same racism, embedded in our society’s institutions (in case you didn’t realize what it meant, I guess) every day.
Couple of quick notes about your other “”points””
As I understand it, the NBA thing actually is a problem. While it’s ostensibly a good thing that a majority of black people are receiving these high paying jobs within, the institution of the NBA (and other sports leagues) is actually pretty racist! The NBA tends to take advantage of uneducated black students from low-income areas by putting them in shitty contracts, never teaching them how to handle their money once their contracts are up, and essentially grooming them from an incredibly young age to be in the NBA. The other issue here comes from the fact that white society is constantly telling the black community that their only value is in entertainment/bodies in blue collar jobs. Looking back at minstrel shows, freak shows that featured “black savages,” or figures like the Venus Hottentot, it’s easy to see where our obsession with black culture from an entertainment perspective started from. So while it’s awesome that we are praising some black folks for their success, we’re ultimately taking advantage of what we see as an “exotic” culture without taking responsibility for the damages that we, as a society, have done and continue to do to it.
“The reason for disparities in success between races is largely cultural, or economic.” And here, we agree!! But the issue is the root of that economic disparity, which I discussed above. People believe that race/gender/sexual orientation/able-bodied/mindedness are NOT tied into economic disparity, and this is something I don’t understand! Yes, straight white men can be poor. I know, I’m from a majority-white, rural impoverished community! But is it so hard to imagine that systemic racism also feeds into the already unjust system we live in? In regards to the “cultural” thing — I think what you’re saying is that cultural blackness in comparison to the physical color of someone’s skin is causing a disparity. Thanks for explaining racism, friend! Yep! Plenty of people are racist based on skin color alone, but plenty of other people are culturally racist. Ie, when they see a black person in a hoodie on a dark street, they shoot first and ask questions later! If they say a black man driving a nice car with a stuffed animal in the back, they assume that black men aren’t good fathers so this guy must be culturally white and the exception to the rule that all black men are thugs! Our problem as a society isn’t that black culture is wrong — it’s that white people perceive it as being wrong. We think that rap is gross and baggy jeans are inappropriate, that speaking AAVE (African American Vernacular English) is “ghetto” and that black folks who live in impoverished inner-city communities are — WAIT FOR IT — lazy, stupid, violent, and cruel. Looks like we went full circle with that one!
A quick note: Obviously this isn’t to say that blackness (the color, not the culture) in and of itself is not also a cause for racist behavior/systemic racism. All of y’all commenting on this thread (an article from a Harvard-educated, not “”‘stereotypically””” angry black woman) make that abundantly clear.
As far as family values, strong father figures, and dedication to education go: family values is pretty much meaningless, since we know that “traditional” families are no more likely to produce well-rounded, productive kids than non-traditional ones (thanks, LGBTQ community!). As far as strong father figures go: maybe if we stopped locking up black men, there would be more father figures to participate in their children’s lives! But seriously though, you don’t need a dad to ensure that you’re a good person. You need economic and educational stability, and those things are not offered to any impoverished communities in the US, let alone predominantly black ones. Finally: education. Listen, buddy. Are you actually telling me that black people choose not to receive an adequate education??? How is that even a thing? You have to understand that housing segregation leads to educational segregation, right? That poor communities can’t afford to pay high taxes on their homes, meaning they’ll receive lower-quality education because the value of their neighborhood is lower? So if you’re a black child living in a very poor black neighborhood, and your family can’t afford the transportation it takes to leave your neighborhood and go to a better/charter school, and the school you’re at is terrible because it receives no funding because the people living there can’t afford to pay for it, you’re pretty much out of luck? You’re not getting any the resources you, as a literal child, deserve?
Two more things before I peace outta here:
1) I don’t want to get into the whole “glorification of thug life” thing here, but basically black rappers are not glorifying thug life. Maybe actually listen to a rap song before you make that assumption.
2) A community of people who stand together against racism is not “intentional marginalization.” It’s finding the people who actually value your life fighting together for your right to equality, because no one (meaning you, dude) will delegitimize your collective experiences.
No, I am not black. But you don’t need to be black to see the racism that pervades the US all the time. Please stop embarrassing your fellow white people.
But what about the racism, and systematic oppression? Is this the fault of the oppressed? You always get one “Mr. Whiteman” who thinks he clever enough to appeal to the intellect of the oppressed and trick them into accepting the fact that its all their fault. Another ‘white privilege…”
Tomorrow I’m preaching on Amos ch. 8. I’d love to share some of what you wrote but I’m crying so hard I don’t know if I can. I’m so sorry.
I am white but fortunately married to the most loving brown person. I grew up with parents that thankfully never demonstrated any bigotry or racism, at least not to me and my siblings. I became aware of racism and white privilege, especially when I attended college in the South. I think I was pretty naive before college. When i married and encountered the issues of her children from a previous marriage I realized that most racists do not make degrading comments when they are in the company of others, especially if they know the other white people would not approve.
To have a middle class there has to be a lower class. Because of your brown color and American history you are an easy target. Abolitionists were considered traitors to their class.
This would argue that racism flows both ways…
http://www.tennessean.com/story/news/2016/07/14/cory-batey-faces-least-15-years-friday-sentencing/86953944/
Of course racism exists in all directions. Privilege is when a white boy gets a slap on the wrist and a black boy gets 15 years for the same freaking crime.
Thank you, Aramei.
I can attest that it’s the privilege of those that can afford the legal aid to get them around the law, and not the color of their skin. (although you could certainly argue the correlation)
Agreed. I really wish the judicial system has specific sentencing guidelines that would result in the same crime always carrying the same sentence. The amount of leeway is insane.
I still think Tanzania has the worst problem with these “white people”, living in fear because of the color of their skin and being hacked up so their body parts can be sold……one of these Tanzanian White Boys gets a slap (I mean chop) on the wrist it is so someone can sell his hand.
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-30394260
“Privilege is when a white boy gets a slap on the wrist and a black boy gets 15 years for the same freaking crime.”
So what do you call it when a Black Criminal gets shot and killed in self defense while attempting a criminal act and there is national outrage, but when White innocents are brutally attacks by Black thugs and gangbangers, there is nary a peep out of mainstream media?
The comparison is not the same & has nothing to do with race. It was all about $$.
Thank you for sharing, for putting yourself through that to share. It was gracious and loving and kind of you.
This is my one issue this election year. The #BlackLivesMatter, and it not be turned into All Lives Matter. Those of us who have benefited not by what we have gained, but by not being subjected to the humiliations and injustices need to start to listen, and hear, and believe.
Just prior to the link to your column, there was a link to a prayer by Marianne Williamson and it was lovely and expressed apologies for the injustices. But it said repeatedly “please forgive us”. I am afraid that at this point, we are not able to ask for forgiveness, because it hasn’t stopped. It clearly hasn’t stopped.
Thank you again for your very gracious response.
Thank you for this wonderful, painful, enlightening post. Everyone should read this–even if we think we understand the concept of white privilege, this is still illuminating.
I love this analogy for the “All Lives Matter” response. I hope you do too.
“Imagine that you’re sitting down to dinner with your family, and while everyone else gets a serving of the meal, you don’t get any. So you say “I should get my fair share.” And as a direct response to this, your dad corrects you, saying, “everyone should get their fair share.” Now, that’s a wonderful sentiment — indeed, everyone should, and that was kinda your point in the first place: that you should be a part of everyone, and you should get your fair share also. However, dad’s smart-ass comment just dismissed you and didn’t solve the problem that you still haven’t gotten any!
The problem is that the statement “I should get my fair share” had an implicit “too” at the end: “I should get my fair share, too, just like everyone else.” But your dad’s response treated your statement as though you meant “only I should get my fair share”, which clearly was not your intention. As a result, his statement that “everyone should get their fair share,” while true, only served to ignore the problem you were trying to point out.
That’s the situation of the “black lives matter” movement. Culture, laws, the arts, religion, and everyone else repeatedly suggest that all lives should matter. Clearly, that message already abounds in our society.
The problem is that, in practice, the world doesn’t work that way. You see the film Nightcrawler? You know the part where Renee Russo tells Jake Gyllenhal that she doesn’t want footage of a black or latino person dying, she wants news stories about affluent white people being killed? That’s not made up out of whole cloth — there is a news bias toward stories that the majority of the audience (who are white) can identify with. So when a young black man gets killed (prior to the recent police shootings), it’s generally not considered “news”, while a middle-aged white woman being killed is treated as news. And to a large degree, that is accurate — young black men are killed in significantly disproportionate numbers, which is why we don’t treat it as anything new. But the result is that, societally, we don’t pay as much attention to certain people’s deaths as we do to others. So, currently, we don’t treat all lives as though they matter equally.
Just like asking dad for your fair share, the phrase “black lives matter” also has an implicit “too” at the end: it’s saying that black lives should also matter. But responding to this by saying “all lives matter” is willfully going back to ignoring the problem. It’s a way of dismissing the statement by falsely suggesting that it means “only black lives matter,” when that is obviously not the case. And so saying “all lives matter” as a direct response to “black lives matter” is essentially saying that we should just go back to ignoring the problem”
By GeekAesthete
-Ro
Thank you for enlighten this man on issues that are always push aside with society. You have truly spoken graciously,and honest. Continue to let you’re voice be heard. I appreciate reading Editorial,God bless you.
I am white lived in a $5,000 home my Dad bought. Once a year got a new pair of shoe’s,got my first bike when I was 12. Never had a pool,did not go to Harvard.Worked since I was 13,am 59 sick can no longer work. I live in a 1970 mobile home,get food stamps where is my white privilege? This is what Hillary made up,there is no such thing as white privilege. What you make of your life is your decision’point blank period
I absolutely agree. I was raised by a mother who fought hard against a system that marginalized black people. I thought i knew all about ‘white privilege ‘ , i don’t. Thank you for opening my eyes.
Dear Ms. Lakin Hutcherson,
I just recently came across your thoughtful article and immediately wanted to have a dialogue with you. I hope you don’t find this too long but your words struck a chord. My name is Carlen Charleston. I am the Founder of ERASE Race, The American Unity Movement.
I have copied your points and added my thoughts below each one.
You may reach me at carlencharleston@eraceraces.com (US?)
What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege
When I was 3, my family moved into an upper-middle class, all-white neighborhood. We had a big backyard, so my parents built a pool. Not the only pool on the block, but the only one neighborhood boys started throwing rocks into. White boys. One day my mom ID’d one as the boy from across the street, went to his house, told his mother and fortunately, his mother believed mine. My mom not only got an apology, but also had that boy jump in our pool and retrieve every single rock. No more rocks after that. Then Mom even invited him to come over to swim sometime if he asked permission. Everyone became friends. This one has a happy ending because my mom was and is badass about matters like these, but I hope you can see that the white privilege in this situation is being able to move into a “nice” neighborhood and be accepted not harassed, made to feel unwelcome, or prone to acts of vandalism and hostility.
#1:Rebuttal
I grew up in Prairie View, TX. The city was 99% black. Every Halloween, especially in my teen years, my brothers and few other friends would go out “wilding.” We were simply bad kids. We threw eggs at passing motorists or at houses. The residents were of course, “black” just as we were. In our community, they didn’t get rocks thrown in the pool, but they got eggs thrown at their cars or their houses by some rambunctious teenage boys. This is not a case of privilege. Houses get robbed, neighbors throw trash in neighbors yards, teenagers vandalize property and many of those incidents happen between people of the same shades of skin. Besides, does it matter what color the offenders are when they commit a crime or an indecent act? I guess only if we want to fit it into a narrative about “white privilege.” White privilege is another social fabrication that puts “white” people on the defensive making them victimizers even when there is no clear victim. It’s like a class action lawsuit. One “white” guy does something wrong towards a “person of color” and everyone else jumps in on to say, “see there goes white privilege.”
Could it be that you make the case for “white privilege” in your case only because the others were a different skin color than yours? What if the same thing happened in your neighborhood from teenage “black” boys? I’m not sure anyone escapes bad happening to them in life. We double down on the bad when we ourselves from the perpetrators because of skin color which also seems heightens the importance of the event.
2. When my older sister was 5, a white boy named Mark called her a “nigger” after she beat him in a race at school. She didn’t know what it meant but in her gut, she knew it was bad. This was the first time I’d seen my father the kind of angry that has nowhere to go. I somehow understood it was because not only had some boy verbally assaulted his daughter and had gotten away with it, it had way too early introduced her (and me) to that term and the reality of what it meant – that some white people would be cruel and careless with black people’s feelings just because of our skin color. Or our achievement. If it’s unclear in any way, the point here is if you’ve NEVER had a defining moment in your childhood or your life, where you realize your skin color alone makes other people hate you, you have white privilege.
#2:Rebuttal
So the obvious question is, “if the exact opposite happened, is there ‘black privilege?’ Here’s my story,
When I was in elementary school, my older sister, who is now an acclaimed principle of an early college school here in Texas, was in junior high school. My mother was a teacher at the junior high school where my sister attended and this episode was shortly after integration/busing in our part of Texas. My sister was a rebel and one day used a racial epithet in addressing a “white” teacher, calling her a “white patty who needs to get the wrinkles out of her face.” This situation made an indelible mark on my life as my parents reprimanded my sister for denigrating the “white” teacher and hating her because she was “white.” At that point in my life, I realized that people will hate others because of skin color alone and that’s what my sister did and my parents weren’t having it. So what kind of privilege was that? My sister went on to learn that it is wrong to judge people based on skin color and many others have as well.
3. Sophomore year of high school. I had Mr. Melrose for Algebra 2. Some time within the first few weeks of class, he points out that I’m “the only spook” in the class. This was meant to be funny. It wasn’t. So, I doubt it will surprise you I was relieved when he took medical leave after suffering a heart attack and was replaced by a sub for the rest of the semester. The point here is if you’ve never been ‘the only one’ of your race in a class, at a party, on a job, etc. and/or it’s been pointed out in a “playful” fashion by the authority figure in said situation – you have white privilege.
#3:Rebuttal
I MAY JUST DROP THIS ONE. As a sophomore college football player, I was a computer science major. Dr Swigger was our instructor, a lean, middle-aged “white” woman. I never realized it at the time, but I was the only one of my race in the class with numerous Asians, Caucasians and other people. Dr Swigger was the authority figure in the class and I was shocked one day, when she made the following statement in class, “Carlen is a football player and he’s smart too.” Wow! That hit me like a lead balloon. She pointed me out specifically and stereotyped me based on football players. I didn’t think less of Dr Swigger. In fact, at the time, I thought of it as a compliment. However, I very easily could’ve become defensive about what she was trying to communicate. While this was not as negative as the example in the article above, it nevertheless points out that just as there are negative situations where authority figures have pointed out things, there can also be very positive situations where this has happened. Are we to only retain the negative experiences?
4. When we started getting our college acceptances senior year, I remember some white male classmates pissed that another black classmate had gotten into UCLA while they didn’t. They said that affirmative action had given him “their spot” and it wasn’t fair. An actual friend of theirs. Who’d worked his ass off. The point here is if you’ve never been on the receiving end of the assumption that when you’ve achieved something it’s only because it was taken away from a white person who “deserved it” – that is white privilege.
#4:Rebuttal
I was surprised when my daughter decided that she wanted to become a Marine and attend Paris Island Marine Corps boot camp. At the time, I was a retired Marine Corps Lieutenant Colonel and was serving as a Junior ROTC instructor at a high school in Texas. I had to mentally prepare my daughter for the rigors of Marine Corps boot camp because I knew it would not be easy. While there, my daughter suffered some injuries that threatened her successful completion of boot camp. In the end, she made it through and after graduation, I talked to my daughter about some of the final exams and tests and she said that some she completed but some she didn’t. It was only the day of her graduation that I realized that she graduated because they knew that her dad was a Lieutenant Colonel. She had privilege that may not have been afforded to others who didn’t have a dad in that position. It wasn’t “black” or “white” privilege, but privilege nonetheless. Privilege comes in many forms and it really is just a matter of sight. Were we to see all of the manifestations of opportunities that we have in life, we would all see that we are privileged. Of course we don’t all have the same privilege, but we all have opportunities afforded us because of our particular lot in life. It’s up to us to determine what we do with that privilege.
5. When I got accepted to Harvard (as a fellow AP student you were witness to what an academic beast I was in high school, yes?), three separate times I encountered white strangers as I prepped for my maiden trip to Cambridge that rankle to this day. The first was the white doctor giving me a physical at Kaiser: Me: “I need to send an immunization report to my college so I can matriculate.” Doctor: “Where are you going?” Me: “Harvard.” Doctor: “You mean the one in Massachusetts?” The second was in a store, looking for supplies I needed from Harvard’s suggested “what to bring with you” list. Store employee: “Where are you going?” Me: “Harvard.” Store employee: “You mean the one in Massachusetts?” The third was at UPS, shipping off boxes of said “what to bring” to Harvard. I was in line behind a white boy mailing boxes to Princeton, and in front of a white woman sending her child’s boxes to wherever. Woman, to the boy: “What college are you going to?” Boy: “Princeton.” Woman: “Congratulations!” Woman, to me: “Where are you sending your boxes?” Me: “Harvard.” Woman: “You mean the one in Massachusetts?” I think: “No bitch, the one downtown next to the liquor store.” But I say, gesturing to my LABELED boxes: “Yes, the one in Massachusetts.” Then she says congratulations but it’s too fucking late. The point here is if no one has ever questioned your intellectual capabilities or attendance at an elite institution based solely on your skin color, that is white privilege.
#5:Rebuttal
This is really the dog wagging the tail. We created this thing called “white privilege” so we have to fit something into that box. Think about it, what is the likelihood that a “black” female is going to Harvard compared to that female going to the University of Georgia, Howard, or Spellman? So while it would be nice if we were not presumptive as human beings, that’s just not the case for any of us. Here’s how it is manifested. I didn’t realize how ‘trailblazing’ it was to be a ‘black’ officer in the Marine Corps in the mid-80’s. When I arrived at my first duty station, I was surprised to hear young, enlisted personnel remark when referring to me, “I’ve never seen a ‘black’ officer.” I ignored it and kept moving. Many years later and after being retired, I returned to civilian life and on numerous occasions I have been in conversation with other Marines and armed forces personnel and in almost 100% of the cases, the other member asks me where I attended boot camp, which insinuates that I am enlisted rather than an officer. Enlisted personnel are generally high school graduates, while officers are generally college graduates. If I wanted to, I could make that a racial charge, but the reality is that ‘blacks’ make up a small percentage of the officer corps and a much smaller percentage of the Marine Corps in general, so looking at the odds, they would probably be safe to assume that I was enlisted. They are usually surprised when I respond that I retired as a Lieutenant Colonel. The point here is that we do have a history of ‘blacks’ not reaching certain positions in this country and it is understandable if some use that history to make assumptions. We should make the correction and move on. Many years from now because of our efforts, the assumptions will change.
6. In my freshman college tutorial, our small group of 4-5 was assigned to read Thoreau, Emerson, Malcolm X, Joseph Conrad, Dreiser, etc. When it was the week to discuss “The Autobiography of Malcolm X” one white boy boldly claimed he couldn’t even get through it because he couldn’t relate and didn’t think he should be forced to read it. I don’t remember the words I said, but I still remember the feeling – I think it’s what doctors refer to as chandelier pain – as soon as a sensitive area on a patient is touched, they shoot through the roof – that’s what I felt. I know I said something like my whole life I’ve had to read “things that don’t have anything to do with me or that I relate to” but I find a way anyway because that’s what learning is about – trying to understand other people’s perspectives. The point here is – the canon of literature studied in the United States, as well as the majority of television and movies – have focused primarily on the works or achievements of white men. So if you have never experienced or considered how damaging it is/was/could be to grow up without myriad role models and images in school that reflect you in your required reading material or in the mainstream media – that is white privilege.
#6:Rebuttal
I love this one because I think so much of what happens in the area of ‘race’ is based on the premise that there is such a thing as ‘race.’ In other words, as an avid reader in 3rd grade, I read everything I could and my mom subscribed to the “I can read to” series of books and it was cool. Amazingly, reading made me become the characters in the books. That had an impact on my life growing up. I never saw the color of a superhero in the cartoons, I was him. I never saw the color of Lewis & Clark on their expedition, I was them. I never thought of the color of Christopher Columbus, I wanted to explore new lands. Of course much of that was naïve and innocent, but I think it’s important to expand the universe of role models for our children. I taught high school for 12 years and I hope that I was a role model for all of the thousands of children that I have taught and many of them without my skin tone. I think my students, without regard to their skin tones would say, and indeed many have, that I was a role model for them. Skin-tone considerations for role models is only applicable when we’ve been trained that way. I love the Condoleeza Rice example. She makes the point that mentors don’t have to look like you. She was a woman who wanted to be Secretary of State. There had been none. Her mentors were ‘white’ men who saw her ability and helped her along. Mine was a “white” officer named, Major Warren Muldrow. Finally, my biggest role model was my mom. What our society would call a ‘black’ woman, who was simply amazing at what she was able to accomplish. Before teaching in the early 60’s, she was working in the data-processing center (computers-60’s). She would bring home Hollerith punched cards and we made Christmas decorations out of them. She then went on to teach math at a Junior High School for many years. To me, she was all that I saw in Mary Jackson who worked at NASA and was portrayed in the movie Hidden Figures. By her life, she made me believe that anything was possible and she never said, “but because you’re black” so I never thought my color mattered and while it may to others, to me it never will. Thanks mom, RIP.
7. All seniors at Harvard are invited to a fancy, seated group lunch with our respective dorm Masters. (Yes, they were called “Masters” up until this February when they changed it to “Faculty Deans,” but that’s just a tasty little side dish to the main course of this remembrance). While we were being served by the Dunster House cafeteria staff – the black ladies from Haiti and Boston that ran the line daily; I still remember Jackie’s kindness and warmth to this day – Master Sally mused out loud how proud they must be to be serving the nation’s best and brightest. I don’t know if they heard her, but I did and it made me uncomfortable and sick. The point here is, if you’ve never been blindsided when you are just trying to enjoy a meal by a well-paid faculty member’s patronizing and racist assumptions about how grateful black people must feel to be in their presence – you have white privilege.
#7:Rebuttal
So this one is much easier to resolve. Master Sally made a statement that you did not appreciate. Did you address Master Sally or did you just extrapolate her statement into a much broader narrative to generalize about “white privilege?” I don’t know where you grew up, or perhaps you were really young at the time, but to be blindsided by prejudice is to not understand the nature of humanity. If we see or hear this type of thing, it is our responsibility to check it appropriately and not to use it as proof of another one of our misguided social constructs, which both ‘race’ and ‘white privilege’ are. Life is about Unity not separation.
8. While writing on a television show in my 30s, my new white male boss – who had only known me for a few days – had unbeknownst to me told another writer on staff he thought I was conceited, didn’t know as much I thought I did, and didn’t have the talent I thought I had. And what exactly had happened in those few days? I disagreed with a pitch where he suggested our lead female character carelessly leave a pot holder on the stove and burn down her apartment. This character being a professional caterer. When what he said about me was revealed months later (by then he’d come to respect and rely on me), he apologized for prejudging me because I was a black woman. I told him he was ignorant and clearly had a lot to learn. It was a good talk because he was remorseful and open. But the point here is, if you’ve never been on the receiving end of a boss’s prejudiced, uninformed “how dare she question my ideas” badmouthing based on solely on his ego and your race, you have white privilege.
#8:Rebuttal
Maybe this one should fit in the sexism bucket instead. Of course if he admitted to prejudging you because you were a ‘black woman,’ he’s not only a ‘racist’ and a ‘sexist,’ but he’s also very honest and contrite. My question is still, why is this ‘white privilege?’ Because this man has issues, ‘white privilege’ exists? There are millions of reasons for people to be prejudiced against a coworker or an employee that don’t fit into the ‘white privilege’ box. Even with his bias, prejudice and outright racism, does that create ‘white privilege?’ Does ‘black privilege’ exist if my black male boss says and does the same thing towards a ‘white’ person? As a hobby I do bodybuilding. A couple of years ago I went to a competition in Texas in a place I had never been before and the competition was run by people I did not know. I happened to notice that all of the judges were ‘black.’ Then as they began to announce the winners, though I was not cheated and did not win, I noticed that the other ‘non-white’ competitors against my personal views, always finished ahead of what I thought were better competitors (whites). In one case it was really extreme, but I must admit this is only my personal opinion and I really want to simply ask the question, knowing the capability for separation in the heart, is it possible that this happens? Maybe it’s not a ‘privilege’ problem, but perhaps a ‘heart’ problem.
9. On my very first date with my now husband, I climbed into his car and saw baby wipes on the passenger side floor. He said he didn’t have kids, they were just there to clean up messes in the car. I twisted to secure my seatbelt and saw a stuffed animal in the rear window. I gave him a look. He said “I promise, I don’t have kids. That’s only there so I don’t get stopped by the police.” He then told me that when he drove home from work late at night, he was getting stopped by cops constantly because he was a black man in a luxury car and they assumed it was either stolen or he was a drug dealer. When he told a cop friend about this, he told Warren to put a stuffed animal in the rear window because it would change “his profile” to that of a family man and he was much less likely to be stopped. The point here is, if you’ve never had to mask the fruits of your success with a floppy-eared, stuffed bunny rabbit so you won’t get harassed by the cops on the way home from your gainful employment (or never had a first date start this way), you have white privilege.
#9:Rebuttal
OK this one really needs addressing. I liken this to anyone who has ever gone to McDonald’s and received bad service. If it happened on numerous occasions, then you make a generalized statement about McDonald’s. So if a person is continually pulled over then they can make a generalized statement about officers. However the narrative creates an expectation from those unaffected who then use the experience of others to create an expectation, frequency and likelihood of occurrence. I’m a middle-aged ‘black’ man and I’ve owned nice BMW’s before and after being married and have never been pulled over by police while driving either. Lucky? Not sure but I didn’t have a floppy-eared animal in my back window either. My point here is that there are bad cops just like there are bad employees at McDonalds. To create a narrative that they are all that way is to negate the many great officers who are doing their jobs every day with a heart to serve the community. Maybe we should keep score. I think the good officers would win.
10. Six years ago, I started a Facebook page that has grown into a website called Good Black News because I was shocked to find there were no sites dedicated solely to publishing the positive things black people do. (And let me explain here how biased the coverage of mainstream media is in case you don’t already have a clue – as I curate, I can’t tell you how often I have to swap out a story’s photo to make it as positive as the content. Photos published of black folks in mainstream media are very often sullen or angry-looking. Even when it’s a positive story! I also have to constantly alter headlines to 1) include a person’s name and not have it just be “Black Man Wins Settlement” or “Carnegie Hall Gets 1st Black Board Member” or 2) rephrase it from a subtle subjugator like “ABC taps Viola Davis as Series Lead” to “Viola Davis Lands Lead on ABC Show” as is done for say, Jennifer Aniston or Steven Spielberg.) I also receive a fair amount of highly offensive racist trolling. I don’t even respond. I block and delete ASAP. The point here is – not having to rewrite stories, headlines or swap photos while being trolled by racists when all you’re trying to do on a daily basis is promote positivity and share stories of hope and achievement and justice – that is white privilege.
#10:Rebuttal
I must admit that I don’t know the world of journalism and newsroom editing, but isn’t everyone subject to those constraints when writing? Doesn’t the editor make the call on the tone of the article and what the headline should be? And if you’re not being trolled by racists, you’re being trolled by democrats, republicans, leftists, rightists, gay, straight, pro-black, white nationalist and so on. This is simply the way life goes when you’re trying to live it in a positive manner. I hate to see this as a phenomenon that we believe would go away if we somehow defeated ‘white privilege.’ I just don’t understand how it can be ‘white privilege’ if the same thing happens in a business, community or organization that has only ‘blacks.’ Most every example of a ‘white privilege’ incident has a twin that has happened within the same skin-tone people group, e.g. ‘blacks’ or ‘whites.’ So is it really ‘white privilege’ or has that social construct become a catch-all that we conveniently throw things in?
We have to drop the skin-tone descriptors and choose to evaluate individuals. That way we can appropriately care for those who desire to care with us while not offending them by placing them in a victimizer status, which ‘white privilege’ does. Every opportunity is a privilege and when I woke up this morning, I had an opportunity, thus a privilege and it carries no color.
Great article. Yes, let’s stop the ‘strain’ and ‘drain’ of having to account for injustice – we can do better.
Thank you so much for this clear insight. I have white privileges. I have been blessed with friends who have helped open my eyes, and you have shown me another facet that I’ve not considered.
I am grateful that my sister posted this on Facebook this morning and I got to read it and pass it along. Bless you
Gay Pride! No everyone should be proud. Thanks to our Veterans! No thank you all Americans, many Americans have tales of courage, bravery and loss. You see where I’m going with this?
I read with earnest your article on White Privilege, initially found in YES! … I must admit, I initially found the examples to be somewhat overly sensitive, and was at least slightly defensive. In my mind i could easily offer an alternate interpretation of the example. One tends to see what they want to see and, as a white male, I failed to see my advantage or privilege. As I read further I continued to discount the noted incidents. As an example, the Harvard story. I initially read this and interpreted the dis-belief not that you were not smart or bright enough, but that Harvard had a “white reputation”, and your entry was even more impressive… However, it wasn’t until the last paragraph where the light bulb came on for me. The question of privilege, isn’t what I get that you don’t, or what is available to me that is not for you. This is not entry to the local country club… Privilege as I now understand it is really intangible… I shudder to think about some of the off coloured jokes that came from my lips in an attempt to be “funny”. How embarrassing for those who I may have offended, and worse, how embarrassing for me!! Thankfully, I grew out of that stage and now wouldn’t think speaking that way today. I also realize that to stand by silently while others would make these comments, is to silently support a view… Wonderfully explained and written… i thank you for that!
With all due respect and acknowledgment for your life’s experiences and treatment, I still feel very compelled to point out that black individuals are not the only people who have been subjected to life long discrimination & abuse. I am a 57 yr old white LGBT woman who has been called horrific names, bullied & beaten up, excluded and ridiculed (to name just a few) since I was 8. I am married (which I must point out was not legal across the country until LAST YEAR), & yet my wife can’t even wear her wedding ring to work for fear of reprisal. We can’t go out in public as a married couple. My daughter can’t introduce me as the only other parent she has ever known for fear of ridicule and reprisal from her friends, & she starts college in the fall. And I’m sure I don’t have to mention that LGBT individuals are the subject of discrimination and violence everywhere. I share this with you, and others whom read your FB page, in the hopes that perhaps you will understand that when some of us say #ALLLIVESMATTER; that we are by in no means discounting that truly indeed #BLACKLIVESMATTER, but that we are trying to help bring healing and compassion to all lives who are suffering. Could we, and should we not also include the homeless, the mentally ill, our veterans and troops, the poor and hungry, our immigrants, and most especially our children in our “LIVESMATTER” movement? It is time to focus on restoring humanity, not dividing it by senseless violence on anyone’s part. Thank you for allowing me to present my views. God bless all.
Ssssshhhh!
Uighur! There you go with your rendition of “Look at me, I’ve been oppressed too.” Please! 1- she isn’t referring to LGBT issues and 2- your statement reeks of white privilege! Please have several seats! This is NOT your movement today!! Furthermore the LGBT community has made more strides in the last 2 years when it too years for blacks and women to even get the right to vote! Please do NOT compare your issues to those descendants of slaves who were raped, beaten, castrated, lynched, psychologically abused, dehumanized and murdered because of the color of our skin! NOT TODAY FELECIA! NOT TODAY!!!
Julie, you are subjugating her experience as inferior in importance to yours. I don’t discount your experience, but, frankly, you have federal law on your side and it is there whether people choose to follow it or not, but there are reprisals if they don’t. On the other hand, Lori has people denying bias against people of color on an hourly basis. Don’t hijack her platform. Acknowledge, commiserate, and realize that there is an inherent “too” in BLM…
Julie, so you are going to suggest to the LGBT community to stop having gay pride day then right? Cuz during that time Its all about LGBT pride. Why are you not complaining that it should be All pride day instead? How would you feel if during your gay pride celebration someone just walked up and asked why you are having it. You explained to express pride and fight discrimination for the gay community. Well they respond with that they feel compelled to point out that gays are not the only ones discriminated against and they are jewish and had the holocost. And they go into detail about how much the jews have been discriminated and killed etc. And that you should stop saying gay pride and it should be all pride for everyone and to start focusing on restoring humanity and stop dividing people. How would you feel?
Clearly you don’t get it! BLM became necessary because innocent people are being killed and there is neither remedy nor remorse! That you just don’t get this is the reason why we have to say black lives matter TOO!!! If you can provide valid statistics that prove innocent, unarmed white gay people are being murdered as a result of state sanctioned violence, then you can make a logical argument here! The data does not support that your life is in imminent danger simply because of your physical appearance.
Your experience as an LGBT should allow you to feel empathy – intersectionality – with this movement. It’s your racism that prevents you from doing that.
When we say “Black lives matter,” it is because this nation has a tendency to say otherwise. Racial discrimination does affect all minorities but police brutality, at such excessive rates, does not.
A black person is killed extrajudicially every 28 hrs, and Black men between ages 19 and 25 are the group most at risk to be gunned down by police. Based on data from the Center on Juvenile and Criminal Justice, young Blacks are 4.5 times more likely to be killed by police than any other age or racial group.
African-Americans have comprised 26 percent of police shootings though we only makeup 13 percent of the U.S. population, based on data spanning from 1999 to 2011.
In the 108 days since Mike Brown was killed by Darren Wilson and left on display in the middle of the street for four and a half hours, at least seven Black males have been shot and killed by law enforcement officers.
Officers are provided the unrestricted right to use force at their discretion — and will not hesitate to do so — and Black bodies are more susceptible to greeting the business end of those state-issued firearms.
Multiple factors such as clothing, location and individual behavior determine who gets stopped by the police and when. The way the process works … is if you take two equivalent people — a young white man and a young black man — who are dressed identically, the black man would still have a greater chance of being stopped. And it’s because his race is a basis of suspicion and it interacts with those other qualities in a way that makes them all seem more suspicious because it biases the judgment of everything.
Granted, extrajudicial killings have dropped 70 percent in the last 40 to 50 years. Nearly 100 young black men were killed annually by police in the late 1960s, and these young men also comprised 25 percent of police killings between 1968 and 1974.
Shootings fell to 35 per year in the 2000s though the risk is still higher for Black Americans than it is for whites, Latinos and Asians. My people are killed at 2.8 times the rate of white non-Latinos and 4.3 times the rate of Asians.
I say all of this to say, though it has become less prevalent, police brutality has never affected another racial group like it affects us.
Race brings on individual issues for each minority group. Saying “all lives matter” causes erasure of the differing disparities each group faces. Saying “all lives matter” is nothing more than you centering and inserting yourself within a very emotional and personal situation without any empathy or respect. Saying “all lives matter” is unnecessary.
Non-black kids aren’t being killed like black kids are. Of course I’d be just as pissed if cops were gunning down white kids. Duh, but they aren’t. White assailants can litter movie theaters and bodies with bullets from automatic weapons and be apprehended alive but black kids can’t jaywalk or have toy guns in open carry states?
There is seemingly no justice for Black life in America. An unarmed Black body can be gunned down without sufficient reasoning and left in the middle of the street on display for hours — just like victims of lynching.
Strange fruit still hangs from our nations poplar trees. Lynching underwent a technological revolution. It evolved from nooses to guns and broken necks to bullet wounds.
Police brutality is a BLACK issue. This is not an ill afflicting all Americans, but that does not mean you cannot stand in solidarity with us. But standing with us does not mean telling us how we should feel about our community’s marginalization. Standing with us means being with us in solidarity without being upset that this is for OUR PEOPLE — and wanting recognition for yours in this very specific context.
Telling us that all lives matter is redundant. We know that already. But, just know, police violence and brutality disproportionately affects my people. Justice is not applied equally, laws are not applied equally and neither is our outrage. ✊ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZuaWzeGkC4
No one shouts “ALL DISEASES MATTER” at a Walk for Life Cancer fundraiser. Stop being a dick and saying “all lives matter” to black people advocating for #BlackLivesMatter. You’re being willfully contrary and dismissive. Be a better ally.
Hi Julie
I’m sorry you have had such hard experiences. I hope things improve for you.
I just want to note that trying to address everything can erase individual experiences, usually people without mainstream power. Another way of addressing everyone’s issues and fighting for them can be to listen to all voices – you can listen to BlackLivesMatter and also talk about LGBTQI rights and homelessness for families. Honestly. Then all the stories are heard from the mouths of the people who experience them, and I believe that’s when humans connect best with others.
Julie Collins,
Did you even read the article?
Or did you just read the head-line?
As a part of the (white) LGBTQ community myself I am appalled at your reply to Lori’s article.
Even within our community we, as white people, have privilege! You know this!!
I read a meme where it said: “Merry Christmas!” wherto the reply was “All Holidays matter!!”………that is what you sound like here.
The fact that your College aged child does not tell her friends about you has clearly MORE to do with your antiquated right-wing view of the world, than the fact that you are in a same-sex marriage.
I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t claim a parent like that either; no matter color, sexual orientation or gender identity.
PS: Next time you’re about to throw your own community under the bus with a stupid reply, READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE FIRST!
Telling Julie her experience is isn’t one worth note or shouldn’t be compared is the text book definition of racism. To discount the issues that the LGBT community is going through because they didn’t suffer, which if you research any history you would pale at the things they have been through, is disrespectful to them, yourselves, and the black community, and if you don’t see how you need to read and educate yourself more before you bring hateful comments and prove her point over yours.
Please work on your reading comprehension (as well as the comments above) and try to FULLY comprehend the meaning and import of “intersectionalism.” I’ve been at war with the tyranny of ‘Labels’ my entire adult life. Why can’t we STOP playing the “[my label] is better than [your label]” game (a negative-sum game) and eschew the Labels altogether? It is NOT a ‘solution’ to argue the hierarchy of Labels when fighting the tyranny. We must free ourselves of Labeling and of treating ourselves and others as commodities. We are, each of us, unique human beings in the entire history of humanity, with but one human attribute in common: the ability to love one another unconditionally. Let’s do that!
It can’t be that hard to get your head around the concept that the word “white” in white privilege is about race and not sexual orientation. There is such a thing as “straight privilege” and you should address that and the folks who refuse to acknowledge it, rather than attack the people who are trying to have a productive conversation about racism.
If you are using the abusive “alllivesmatter” statement as a means of being supportive of the LGBT community, please stop! That’s as bad as using “notallmen” to support…well, anything. Black Lives Matter is trying very, very hard to bring something horrible to an end. No, they are not losing focus on humanity, and no they don’t need your help to make them a better movement. If you were constantly encountering people complaining that your LGBT activism needed to include support to find a cure for cancer, would you consider that helping the movement? It doesn’t matter that you want something positive to come about. It matters that you think you have the right to undermine an important movement to do it.
I am sorry for your suffering also, Julie. No one should suffer from the hatred of others!
Woe is me– look at my pain— me too —is White privilege in action.
“Please do NOT compare your issues to those descendants of slaves who were raped, beaten, castrated, lynched, psychologically abused, dehumanized and murdered…”
The Romans raped, pillaged, murdered and enslaved much of Europe for over 200 years.
True, Julie. And every oppressed white person would feel more oppression if they were black and LGBT, or Black and mentally ill. How many times do you go to a ‘save the rainforest event’ and tell everyone, ALL TREES MATTER! do you go to Breast Cancer fund raisers to say “ALL CANCER MATTERS!” if you wouldn’t be that rude, think about why you see it as okay to be that rude when the subject is people of color.
Julie
I am a white woman from Texas. The majority of my family, maybe all, are racists. The majority of people I grew up with, racists. I grew up hearing “N” jokes. I could go on but my point is, when the people here use the phrase, “all lives matter,” what they are really saying is, ” but white lives matter more!”
You have completely missed the point!!! Yes, many groups experience discrimination, but this is not about LGBTQ discrimination. Saying “all lives matter” in response to Black Lives Matter is like going to a HIV/AIDS event and yelling “cancer kills too”. Yes cancer kills people, but we’re not focused on that right now.
Julie,
I respect your opinion. My point to what you typed is it is not the right place to dilute this conversation by adding in another conversation. I would give you your due and talk about the struggles of the LGBT community and not compare that struggle with the struggle of being Black in a Democratic, “free” society. My point is, when the subject is the LGBT, I will keep my comments about the LGBT on the LGBT.
It gives strength to a cause when those that support it discipline themselves to stay on subject.
Julie. I am a 60you gay woman from the South and have had similar (and worse) experiences with homophobia and sexism throughout my life. I write here because you seem to miss the entire point of #BlackLivesMatter.
This statement, this movement, has absolutely *nothing* to do with you or me. Of course, our lives matter also. Saying black lives matter takes nothing away from ours. Saying Support Cancer Research does not mean one does not Support ALS Research or Parkinson’s Research or Diabetes Research. It does not mean that Cancer takes precedence over all other diseases. It is simply the way a group of people who are impacted by cancer have come together to remind those who have not been impacted by the disease that we all need to come together in this fight. #BackLivesMatter is doing the same thing: reminding all of us that black lives and how we treat black lives in this country *should* matter to all of us regardless of whether or not we are the dominant group (privileged white males) or we are gay women or hispanic people or who-the-heck ever we are. It does in no way imply that we should reserve our compassion and care *only* for black lives. This smacks loudly of privilege and resentment, the same ridiculous argument that saying Happy Holidays as an inclusive way to recognize that December is a holiday for many religions somehow diminishes Christmas for Christians. Or to bring it home to you, Julie, the ridiculous contention that somehow the existence of your marriage somehow diminishes the *real* marriages of heterosexuals.
#BlackLivesMatter isn’t about you. Don’t try to make it about you. Just try to make yourself more open to supporting these long disenfranchised people in whatever personal way in your own life you can. Recognize them. Do not join in the dogwhistling group of put upon people whining that they matter too. No one is saying otherwise.
While I can agree that black individuals are not the only people who have been subjected to life long discrimination & abuse and that all lives matter, the writer’s goal was to address the issues she faced in her life as an African American.
Julie, with all due respect for your pain, I must say anyone who is not a straight white Christian male in this country has no doubt experienced a tiny little bit of what Ms Hutcherson describes. The word “tiny” in no way is intended to minimize the enormity of the pain.
But please – people! – take a beat. Take a dozen beats, and JUST LET “BLACK LIVES MATTER” BE!
We need to stop piggy-backing on the motto because it’s such a good one.
If anyone has a right to do that, it’s the Native, Original People of this land but you don’t see them doing that because they get it.
Any adjustment to the statement that BLACK LIVES MATTER dilutes the message and diverts its focus.
It becomes yet another validation that Black Lives Matter, but not quite so much as… (fill in the blank).
It negates the very message is purports to agree with (but…).
The fact is that, in this culture in the US, minority lives *have* been devalued, as have women’s lives over the centuries. So many of those groups have their own movements – women’s movement, LGBTQ movement, interfaith movements etc., and each gains a modicum of respect and standing in our minds without any voices being raised about their needing to become more inclusive.
We need to let the Black Lives Matter movement do what it is setting out to do without interrupting it or co-opting it (as white culture has done with jazz, slang, fashion and so many other things originating in the black community) and GET THE MESSAGE.
When head-start programs can be cut without much opposition, when pre-teens can get shot in a park within seconds while holding a toy gun and threatening no one and the cops get cleared, when a black man can get thrown in a police van without being seat-belted (a crime if a cop caught a black man doing that in his personal van, btw) and then driven around in such a way that his injuries kill him and the cops get cleared, when a black cop gets stopped and harassed driving around in his off-duty clothes and personal car, when families have to have “the talk” with their kids about how to handle themselves if stopped by a cop (far beyond the basic common-sense rules about being respectful most of us get), when white kids caught with weed get light sentences and black kids get prison time, when laws get passed easily (without challenge) that restrict access to voting and disproportionately target the poor, black community — it’s clear that we have an INSTITUTIONAL problem with giving equal weight to lives of others based on skin color.
LET IT BE WHAT IT IS without comment, correction, editing, or any other input that smacks of “the white man’s burden.”
With all due respect, no one said #ALLLIVESMATTER until #BLACKLIVESMATTER movement started. Meaning, why not start an #ALLLIVESMATTER movement fifty years ago? Seventy years ago? When black people were being beaten for sitting at a white lunch counter did ALLLIVESMATTER? When black people were maintaining their own businesses and being murdered because they were successful at being self sufficient in every aspect of life, did #ALLLIVESMATTER? Everyone knows #ALLLIVESMATTER but the history of America shows that #BLACKLIVESDONTMATTER! And the sad part, only because #BLACKLIVESMATTER movement started have people vocally come out to say #ALLLIVESMATTER! Sad that once again people of color try to find a voice and again “lets shut them up because their issues are once again irrelevant!”
My perspective shows me that though you identify yourself as a minority, the WHITE level of your experience and ‘programming’ still rules and distorts just enough. It prevents you from seeing how recent happenings are different.
#BLACKLIVESMATTER is front and center right now.. Black lives don’t deserve their “turn” in the “spotlight”? The everyday reality of black lives not only in this country but anywhere where the white man dominates, has never been as widely or deeply or as openly revealed in REAL-TIME as it has most recently.
If it weren’t for #BLACKLIVESMATTER, all the rest of global humanity wouldn’t have been reminded, re-introduced or awakened to the ‘concept’, that #ALLIVESMATTER currently.
.. and in such a deeply emotional, dramatically heart-felt, present, THUNDEROUS and pointed way. So black lives have no right to thunder? You want to steal that thunder? And the point of #BACKLIVESMATTER/#ALLIVESMATTER wasn’t sharp enough for you?
I don’t remember fellow minorities (smaller groups that are different from the dominant society), or black lives in particular, making such a blatant fuss or veiled objection when vets, homeless, etc have been and are the focus.
As an LGBTQ person myself, I have to disagree with you. BLACKLIVESMATTER is not about either / or. It’s not about saying racism is worse than other forms of oppression. It’s simply about demanding equal treatment for people of colour. Not equal legal rights- equal treatment. As a LGBTQ person I know you understand they are not the same. By saying ALLLIVESMATTER, you are diminishing the point- that people of colour do not currently benefit from equal treatment. It’s the same as the “why isn’t there a straight pride ” argument. There isn’t one because straight people don’t spend their lives being told they should pretend not to be themselves. Please respect the right of others to demand equal treatment. Better still, stand beside them and help them be heard x
Why is it that when a person tells “their story”, people always feel compelled to compare it to their story? This is not your story. Read it and learn from it. You may be a a member of the LGBT community but just know this, unless you do something or dress a certain way or tell someone, no one would ever know. You could actually conceal that about yourself but this young “Black” woman is singled out the moment she walks into a room. Your experience is not the same and never will be so when asked tell your story and hope that it is received without a comparison to another group that has nothing to do with the current conversation. This is about being black in America………….you can best tell your story when the question is asked about being gay in America. Don’t confuse the two. I support the LGBT community wholeheartedly but I hate it when you dismiss her post by adding comments that have no relevance to the current discussion.
I wrote a response to this:
https://journeyofahealingheart.wordpress.com/2016/07/19/got-privilege-a-response-to-what-people-arent-saying-about-black-opinions-on-white-privilege/
Thank you for taking your time to write all that out. Sadly it will certainly fall on deaf ears because these people are so full of hate it’s made them delusional. They only know confirmation bias. Things which support their stupid ideas they gobble up like it’s the last bit of food on earth and things which prove them wrong they reject and avoid like it’s got the plague. People like them are doomed to be stupid until they die because they refuse to ever even consider maybe they could’ve wrong, maybe they haven’t considered all the facts(mainly because they avoid them). This is the world we live in today, a world where if you are black you can be racist while calling nonracist people racist and others will agree with you because they are just as stupid too.
Lori is writing of the cancer of racism. Julie is writing about the cancer of anti-LGBT rhetoric. Both social cancers exist. And they are cancer – social illnesses that are shredding the skin and bones of our country, of the world.
Translate that to actual cancer. People with Rectal Cancer are not going to go to a Breast Cancer Awareness public event and start screaming “How DARE you focus on breast cancer! There are many cancers! All cancers matter!” That would be insane and rude and just plain stupid. Because yes, all cancers matter, but how you treat them each one may be different. There’s no magic bullet or pill.
In fact, if you don’t concentrate on small incremental victories, nothing gets done. The problem is too vast. In any community situation, you put out the fire at the house that is burning before you dampen a neighboring house that is not burning, but “just in case.” Or go to the emergency room because you cut your hand off, but have to wait in the same line behind the person who wants a band-aid for his little owie. We’re talking very real social triage.
Yes, we are all human. Undoubtedly. But everyone is not recognized as human. That is why the LGBT community is challenged daily on their very human right to marry. Or Trans people have their human right to identify with their gender taken away, they don’t know where to pee. Or why women make less money than men for equal work. Or why people who come to this country by illegal means to escape evil dictators or war or drug lords, for sanctuary or even, heck, to try to feed their kids, and work like slaves or livestock for slave wages for work we Americans won’t do, at least not for the pittance they will take – they are not considered human.
When we are all human not only in the eyes of the law but in the eyes of each other, then we can advance as a human race.
Hello 🙂 I read your response. I wanted to try and get you to understand something. Specifically the part where you mention how you and your spouse have to hide and pretend you’re not married for fear of reprisal. The point is you CAN hide that. Should you have to? Of Course not. But you CAN. That’s why we specify Black lives. Most of us don’t have the choice to hide from our blackness, and we should’nt have to. Putting any other word in front of the other two “lives matter” only serves to mute out our original sentiment. It is yet another way black people are being dismissed, discounted, and told that we don’t matter. All those problems existed before BLM came to be, so why is it that people want to throw these things in the face of people who just want to be treated with dignity, like any other group? I personally think that All Lives Matter is a way that flat out racists and bigots use well meaning people like yourself to undercut a threat to the status quo. The very status quo that threatens your right to be freely and fully who you are, wherever and whenever. Children matter most, but black ones are being shot in the streets, in daylight, off of the assumption that they are dangerous and have ill intent… because they are BLACK. We have to have conversations with our children SPECIFICALLY about how to STAY ALIVE, not just how to make friends or stay out of generic trouble. We see the media speak more highly of a gorilla that was shot than any of the MEN slain by police. It has to be addressed. HEAD ON. All Lives matter leaves wiggle room to dance around the issue. Black Lives matter strikes it at the heart.
I agree with Julie, but also believe that you have provided a few very real examples of racism by a select few individuals which is just unimaginable. Without minimizing the importance of your experiences, it should also be noted that many people including myself and from all walks of life have been subjected to similar “bullying”.
I have struggled with my weight all my life and subjected to ridicule and shamed by strangers, teachers, store clerks, and even my parents. I am from NY and my ex husband was from GA. I was blatantly called a Yankee, and in 2005 denied a bank loan for being a woman and told to bring father in law to the bank. My dog is a pitbull, and he is the most amazing pet I have ever owned. I have been denied housing and insurance for loving this amazing animal.
My list could go on, but the point I am making here is this. Racism is unacceptable at any level. So is Bullying and all forms of discrimination. As a white person I had an immediate negative reaction to the term “White Priveledge” in your examples for one single reason. It just feels like a way to broadbrush all white people into a single category for actions commited in a single incedent by a single person.
I know many white people that have interracial relationships or adopted children of a different race.
Wasn’t the Black Lives Matter Movement created to promote fair and equal treatment without ratial bias? Why has it now turned into what feels like a war between black and white people? I will venture a guess… it’s all about perception, not about who got the piece of pie… one side feels entitlement but both sides feel discrimination. We should be promoting a unified front and working together not creating a divide and throwing blame…
I totally get what you are saying but, someone used this analogy and I love it! If we are at a Breast Cancer Awareness 5K run, would it be fair or have you ever seen someone show up with Lung Cancer Awareness Signs, yelling out All cancers matter ? So it’s like let us have our movement because what we are saying is “Blacklivesmattertoo” it’s not in the phases but that’s what is means. We are not saying other lives don’t matter, you’d rather spend too much time debating the slogan than doing something positive for the cause
Julie, imagine that, on top of all that, you went through more stuff due to your race. That’s “intersectionality.” According to disabled Black poet and activist Leroy Moore, 80 percent of the people killed by the police in this country are both Black and disabled. Interracial marriages were illegal in many states until very recently. My white friend Lisa was given a marriage license, but couldn’t find anyone to perform the wedding. No one can prove that it was because of the groom’s race, but we all knew.
“All Lives Matter” is too vague to be helpful. It makes Black people feel silenced. If you are an ally to Black people, having known oppression yourself, then you will honor their request to refrain from using it until everyone realizes Black Lives Matter as much as white lives.
I sympathize with your perspective,but can’t help but think that we haven’t seen a rash of LGBT people being shot by the police. I know there is true discrimination against many, many people. It breaks my heart that it took so long for marriage equality. Most often we hear that individuals attack LGBT persons. Here in Dallas there have been about 15 brutal assaults of gay men in the neighborhood where they most often gather for social events. The police have done very little about it, and that is incomprehensible to me. However, it isn’t the police assaulting the men. This is one distinction I would make in support of Black Lives Matter. Maybe the name would be a little better accepted if it were Black Lives Matter, too. Because that’s really the point.
I am baffled and pissed when people say #ALLLIVESMATTER. It claims to be universally loving or life-affirming when it is not, because it presumes there is a limited supply of empathy for which we must compete. Like if compassion is expressed via #BLACKLIVESMATTER, no one will have any for you. I disagree. Empathy begets empathy.
I agree with you IN PART. AS A BLACK WOMAN, MARRIED TO A BLACK MAN (although he has green eyes), AND HAVING BLACK CHILDREN (AND GRANDCHILDREN)… As YOU SAID… you and your family choose to “HIDE” your TRUTH… While ME and my family CAN NOT HIDE our truth… EVEN if we TRIED TO!!! So while I AM EMPATHETIC for YOUR plight… And the plight of others who have been shown some predjudices… I find VERY LITTLE EMPATHY for the plight of BLACK CITIZENS IN AND OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!! What I DO FIND however… AND LIKE YOU… others ONCE AGAIN… As the previous post stated… WILL SAY… “BLACK LIVES MATTER…. BUT.
There SHOULD BE NO BUT’S!!!!!!! Because when WE say BLACK LIVES MATTER… WE ARE NOT SAYING “ONLY” Infront if or at the end of OUR statement. So PLEASE STOP saying “BUT”.
At th and ndvof the day you are still white. If you never told anyone y were gay there would be no problem for you. I don’t think you can and/or should compare the two.
Why do you want to keep the tragedy to yourself alone? It sounds like you ravel in your oppression, demand exclusivity to your oppression, and wish to explain all of the “black problem” by your beloved oppression.
While I don’t think it’s fair for you to be discriminated against for your sexuality, it’s not a fair comparison because people don’t know your sexuality just by looking at you. When you walk into a job interview they don know you’re gay but they know I’m black. The thing that people hate about you is not out in plain sight. You at least have the option to conceal your sexuality to avoid mistreatment and discrimination, but I can never conceal the fact that I’m black. I HAVE to endure discrimination. I don’t get to “take my skin off” like your wife gets to “take her ring off”. You say you can’t go out in public as a married couple but I can’t go out in public AT ALL without being black. Your comment further illustrates white privilege in that you think because you’re gay our struggles are the same. Theyre not. You complain about having to conceal who you are while I would loooooove the opportunity to be ambiguous for a day. I would love to be seen minus my race. I would love to have the opportunity to not have my race be a factor of my identity. You don’t know how “privledged” you are to be able to customize the way others see you by being able to conceal parts of your identity. Walk around with an “Im a lesbian” T shirt on and see how long you can stand having you sexuality displayed to the world. Being black is like NEVER being able to take that T shirt (or ring) off. No other group except physically disabled individuals know what that is like. To be judged based on things you literally have no control over. You don’t either. And that, my friend, is white privilege.
Yeah, I understand your point, Judy. But I have to tell you that despite our being in the LGBT community and coming under fire for that, and despite our seeing the hetero privilege which we very well know exists, we are also members of a privileged class, as white people. It’s not something we do, but something that is a systems problem. Nonetheless, every time we tacitly accept the benefits offered to us based on our color alone, we are part of the problem.
You missed the point.
If you dont have to tell your child not to go out and play with a bb gun in the yard, then you have white priviledge.
That’s the point.
The difference is that by simply walking around out in public, no one knows if you’re a lesbian or not. Skin color, however, is immediately apparent.
Julie, with all due respect, racial discrimination is a systemic problem in which the STATE is often complicit and indeed one that it often endorses; so that your claim of “LIVESMATTER” completely ignores or nullifies this critical difference.
Your views are important but you are displaying quite a bit of your own white Privilege here as well as white fragility. You are white centering this writers horrofic experiences with racism and horrible white Privilege around your own pain. This isn’t about you.
You need to need to take a step back and examine why you need to do this. Here.
Also I hope, Julie, that you see how your response, privilege and fragility has harmed POC.
Julie Collins, Do you think that saying “All Lives Matter” in response to “BlackLivesMatter” is some sort of solution? I understand that you are furious that being a LGBTQ woman has opened you and your loved ones up to much pain. I get that, but why do you sound so resentful of this woman and her writing of the things she has suffered as a Black woman? This is not a contest. Nobody is trying to be the one has had the most painful life due to bigotry.
#BlackLivesMatter means black lives matter, TOO!!! Did you even read the article? No one is dismissing the lives of the homeless, the poor, the disabled, the elderly, the mentally ill, veterans or any other group of people. You need to not be directing your anger at a group who certainly has no intention of hurting you or your loved. Instead, focus on ways you can say “Screw you!” and move on when brainless losers try to ruin your day.
To all your trials and tribulations, add being Black on top of everything else.
Julie Collins — as a white, 61-year-old lesbian who has experienced much of what you have, I will say: Hush now, And sit down.
Oh Julie….no.
Julie please stop. Hold space for this. Of course, there are other problems. Let go of your defensiveness. Yes, you have suffered oppression as a queer woman. I am one, too. I know of it first hand but you still have white privilege.
It is interesting to note that though you acknowlege and the life experiences and treatment that we, as African Americans have suffered, you still display your ” privilege” that renders you the ability to define our feelings. I would venture to say, people of color who share your life-portrait realize that your privilege is something you will recognize once it is taken away from you. Surely, there is something about privilege that allows one to diminish thoughts and feelings of blacks. I am 72 yrs. old, African American, female with two post graduate degree, who has never been able to understand, why “Are you sure?” is a standard response to statements put forth by black folk.
Julie, You just made the point even stronger and you cannnot see past your own privilege to notice.
NO ONE! discounted LGBTQI people or their lives, nor their struggles. However, what you did do is try to insinuate that your life matters more.
If you want to fight for LGBTQ rights and try to better the conversation and to move things forward, then by all means, use your voice. Start your own blog and write ALLLIVESMATTER until your hearts content.
Do not hijack someone else’s cause and conversation to gain attention to you. You just used your priviledge to discount her experiences.
This would be like me going to a breast cancer charity event and getting mad because they aren’t raising money for colon cancer. Changing the subject is one more way to subjugate and denounce the initial meaning and intent.
As a white, disabled, LBGT 59 yr. old woman, I know my trials and travails would be a thousand times worse if I were Black, too. I’ve been insulted and discriminated against, but never for my race. Black women get poor healthcare compared to whites, so I could easily be dead if I were Black. Suffering can make us more compassionate and give us empathy.
White privilege comes from the historical treatment of black people, with the belief that we are subhuman and are deserving of substandard living conditions, education, employment, and just treatment under the law. It comes from the historical crimes of meditated and intentional laws and practices aimed specifically at black people from slavery to current times. The slums and ghettos in America were not accidental real estate ventures.
When blacks were freed and fleet from being owned by white masters they had nothing. They were separated from families. I could go on but you know history. Or perhaps you don’t. Look up Black Wall street. This was not long ago. The government supported it and many other domestic terrorists attacks on black people. The plight of blacks from days of being properly has been an endless struggle because the mindset of some, not all, white people have not changed.
It is ongoing because discrimination against us is historic and systemic. If we ignore these facts we ignore the truth and history WILL repeat itself. Even a white gay person cannot identify with how it feels to be black. With discrimination and hate, yes. With the abomination that pervades our current judicial system and country, no. People judge us “When They See Us”. Before they know our sexual orientation.
As a queer non binary trans white person I am here to tell you that being oppressed in one way does not mean you do not benefit from privilege in other ways.
This is why we talk about intersectionality. The author has straight privilege the way that you have white privilege. Being black does not cancel the benefits she gets from being straight (if she is straight). Being a lesbian does not cancel the benefits you get from being white.
Your own comment shows you have an understanding of privilege. You just need to get out of the mindset that having privilege diminishes your struggles and achievements.
If you grew up never worrying about whether you could marry the kind of person you were attracted to, that is straight privilege.
If you are used to seeing people in relationships like yours portrayed positively on TV you have straight privilege.
You see? But having straight privilege does not protect a black woman from racism, the same way that being white does not protect you from homophobia.
But you still benefit from being white. Your life would be even harder if you were queer AND black.
Innocence Is No Excuse For Ignorance
Hi Lori,
Thanks so much for writing this. It has really helped me as a person with white privilege to focus on what I can do.
Thankyou for the time you took,
Ruth
So in not judging a person by their skin, can you state exactly what “white” is? As I have researched my genealogy and as well have DNA testing to validate it, in brief I am part English, part German, part American Indian, and part Spanish. My whiteness I guess can easily be attributed to ancestors from Wales, but I lineage also associates me to Germans……German Jews to be exact, and Cherokee Indians. From what I can discern about the realities of my background as a “white person” is that no one in my family tree dealt in the slave trade, kept/owned slaves, or tortured slaves. When I hear of these “examples” of white privilege it really gets me thinking about a few things:
– The fact that I have worked since 13 years of age and with the exception of 1 year in college I have been employed every year to current, working to support my family, further my education, nothing has been given to me on a silver platter.
– I was diagnosed with cancer as a young man, my white privilege didn’t help much when the insurance companies originally sought to deny my claims for coverage. My father, working his ass of in 115 degree temperatures at work, was prepared to give up everything we owned to help me through this battle. Thankfully after many friends petitioned to our representatives things turned around for us. I guess that’s white privilege.
– I have many black friends and I can guarantee that none of them are looking for handouts, reparation for acts of slavery. The high level of racial tension in my opinion is mostly due to income inequalities, some associate this to skin color, but it’s simply a case of the haves and have-nots.
When I hear the term White Privilege it is nothing more than some ill attempt to exude some type of white guilt due to the treatment of blacks over history. As I noted at the start of my posting……am I supposed to be sorry for something I nor anyone in my lineage had association with? Should I be upset about the American Indian part of my blood, history tells us that 10s of millions of Native Americans were slaughtered like animals, communities burned, raped…….but why don’t we hear much about that? As for the origins of the slave trade……can you tell me who brought Africans to the Ivory Coast to be sold as slaves……I’ll let you do your own research but I can tell you it wasn’t one of these groups of “white people” that did it.
I just have a couple questions that I would really love a response to. This is a sincere question that never seems to be answered when asked over and over. I can’t speak for all white people but i can speak for a significant number when I say that I believe more white people (or people in general) would support the black lives matter movement if it was inclusive of all blacks. An example would br when the black store owner died while New York officers were attempting to take him into custody. When this occurred. the black lives matter group went into full force in several cities. As a result of what many black people say was pinned up anger over years of mistreatment a black man shot and killed two NYPD officers. That same weekend in NYC a sweet 2-yr. old little black girl was playing in front of her home when she was shot in the head by black gang members during a drive- by shooting. She had just started her little life when it was taken so violently and cowardly. Who shoots a baby and drives off with no remorse. How that didn’t light a fire under black livrs matter i still don’t get but ok. Why when there are so many black on black killings in Chicago everyday to the point that there’s no doubt the parents of these beautiful young children who likely live in fear of even letting their children go outside and play (what should be the most natural thing for a child to do) aren’t able to for fear of being in the wrong place at the wrong time and getting that phone call no mother can bare aren’t in the streets marching. Where was the march by black lives mattrr for the little girl in NYC. Why arent black lives matter living in the streets of Chicago until black lives can walk around without fear of being gunned down. They only time it seems black lives matter is when a black man is killed by a white police officer. I can’t believe you honestly think that white men aren’t killed by police officers or harassed, arrested, assaulted or pulled over. The only reason you don’t hear about white men being shot by a police officer is for this simple fact. If law enforcement is giving you directives and you don’t comply or attempt to run or fight them don’t be suprisrd when your shot or killed. White people aren’t going to go to bat or ever waste their time marching for another white man who knows there are laws in place that we’re all obligated to follow and if a white man doesnt comply with officers directives and believes he can run or fight the officer anything that happens as a result of his actions are his consequences. they chose If it’s the white thug and the officers life at stake who should go home to their family. We’d like to say both but it’s not always that simple and we’re not in law enforcement’s shoes yea we are always quick to blame others for circumstances you put yourself in. The media is well aware that white people aren’t going to get up in arms about a white thug who got shot out of his own stupidity so they don’t even go there. When black lives matter puts as much effort into saving the hundreds of black innocent lives that are being killed everyday by other black lives it might actually look like a black lives matter movement instead of the pick and choose what black lives matter movement they clearly are. What’s most sad is that black people are so caught up in what the media is feeding which is ratings they’re not reporting these issurs because they actually care they do so everytime because your responses are so predictable when they feed a story involving black and whites. They’re even there with cameras before blacks get there because it’s the same thing every time it’s like clock work.. So if a black person would like to enlighten me on the question regarding why black lives only care about a white and black officer shooting. If as you say the media only cares when a white little girl is abducted or anything to do with white’s in general why dont you get out there and march for all black people. Is it because you would rather turn a blind eye to all the blacks killing each othrt by the hundreds thousands every year. Because you would actually have to stand and march against your own people.stand against those killing all the innocent. You are willing to crucify a white officer however say nothing about the black on black killings everydsy and the terror these blacks are causing innocent families just trying to go to work and raise their kids.
. efuse to march against the y anything negative about aemale in general ablittle girl or
I don’t get it…
Black lives should matter, as much as anyone else’s.
LGBT lives should matter, just as much as anyone ekse’s.
The point of Lori’s post eas to inform us based on her personal experience. It neither elevates nor diminishes the relevance of the LGBT experience.
Ditto for Julie’s LGBT. It neither elevates nor diminishes Lori’s experience.
So, I don’t understand the Black vs. LGBT debate. They are both valid. And they both inform us, especially those of us who experience the social and institutional privileges associated with being white or straight. I, being both of these, am being offered the opportunity to learn from both Lori and Julie. It need not be a competion.
Thank you for your valuable contribution. I don’t wish to stoke the fire, but as an Italian immigrant to this country with a PhD and authorship of 7 books and innumerable articles and encyclopedias I know that I would not be unemployed were I African American. Black women and men of achievement enjoy greater success than their white peers.
Respectfully, Chris, that’s nonsense. Because this seems to matter to you, I’ll point out I have a PhD and solid publication record as well. I’m sorry you’re struggling with unemployment – I’ve been there and it sucks. However, your lack of employment has a lot more to do with an oversaturated niche market than affirmative action. You have the option of retraining or relocating, and your white (male?) privilege ensures that there are a lot more places you will be welcomed without careful self-monitoring to fit in. The fact that you think your struggle to find a job somehow is relevant/important/appropriate to bring up when discussing BlackLivesMatter shows not only your privilege but also an appalling lack of empathy.
And success will always replace the fundamental necessity for dignity and respect.
I have experienced each of these hurtful, horrific examples but only as it relates to my gender. Prejudice seems to be expressed first towards race; second towards female. Good lord, what it must be like to be both black and female. My heart reaches out…Cherie Lawrence in St. Louis.
I’m so sorry you and your people had such a hard time growing up. I’m not going to tell you sorry and then do the “but this situation happened to white people.” I’m just going to tell you the way it was – in plain English. No apologies from this white boy.
I grew up in a town in eastern NC. Nearly 50_50 black-white. I was impervious to anything racial until I was in middle school. The first person that ever punched me was black. The first person that ever punched my two best friends was black. Not the same black guy in either case. We were computer geeks. They were pure fucking racists. We did nothing to provoke them. We did not retaliate. But we never forgot.
I also experienced racism in the walking walls of high school. Myself and my girlfriend walking down the right hand side of the hall. Walking towards a group of blacks – usually girls. We had to literally walk single file to get past them and if we said anything, we got cussed. Not an issue with persons that didn’t like each other on a personal level – it was pure racism. Whites didn’t do that to blacks. We were too SCARED of them.
Isn’t that special… And you think white privilege is a real issue… Were you born yesterday? Or were you born in a mostly white community with white friends? Only now to write some decisive commentary in the wake of the aggressive black response to police shootings for which you feel the need to justify. And you don’t even know why.
This story is becoming much more common in modern times. We’ve sat back for much too long. We’re sick and tired of this shit and we’re going to fight back. Tell your people to stop killing police officers. Tell them to back the fuck off or they will see what these timid, soft-spoken white boys (and girls) might do.
Marshall, I’m sorry that you were punched, but the fact that you never recount a single positive experience with a black person here is very telling about the circles in which you move, and your complete lack of insight. As for those terrible black girls, black people have historically been stepping aside on sidewalks to let white people pass, taking care to avoid eye contact. The point here is causation; for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction; unfair, but reality, nevertheless. Furthermore, there is nothing in this article that remotely attempts to justify police shootings, so it is clear that this came from within your own angry and distorted view. Finally, I suggest you examine your anger because not all white people are incapable of insight. Your problem is not so much with black people as with your inability to accept the fact that you are a nerd. Some of us embrace it and appreciate the way in which it makes us special.
When I was growing up, racist white people told anecdotal stories about black people as a justification for holding black people down. I am sympathetic with blacks and feel that our society has got to change; especially the way our law enforcement and criminal justice system incarcerates young men.
But, we must also put as much effort into improving the home life and academic expectations of the poor as we do into blaming all white people for what some white people do (an unintended racist action).
Everybody needs a loving father and mother who instill a love of academics and a belief in the importance of education.
My parents made minimum wages through most of their life. We did not own a car until I was 10 years old. We lived in a 2 br 1 ba wood frame home of less than 1000 sq.ft. I lived at home in college and my parents paid $500 per year average towards my college. I paid all of my own expenses, bought my own cars, paid my own insurance, bought my own gas and oil, paid for all car repairs, wore hand-me-down cloths through high school years, Took my lunch to school in a brown bag, never received a penny for going on a date. I was not privileged. Lumping me in with all white people and assuming you know what I must be like is no different than people assuming that all black people are bad.
This is one of the most compelling pieces o have ever read about white privilege. What an incredible writer you are.
I find several of your examples to be problematic as examples of institutional racism or white privilege. I’m white. I’ve lived in black neighborhoods and have been harassed for my skin color. I’ve been beaten and called racial slurs because of my color and presumed religious identity. I’ve experienced racism as well as religious discrimination.
Assuming privilege based on race is just wrong. Privilege is much more linked to wealth then anything else. Its counter productive and a waste of time for sub sects of the working class to compete to see who is being exploited more by the ruling oligarchs.
Your problem is your failure to recognize causation. Your abuse and harassment at the hands of blacks is a direct causal link to the problem of an oppressive, systemic discrimination that privileges whites as it disenfranchises blacks. You know first hand the consequences of such a system. Nevertheless, being white, and away from that black community, you still enjoy the privileges of being white because it is unavoidably part of the structure.
“I’m gonna scrape the white off of you” is something I heard in sixth grade so it goes both ways.
Also if this isnt “the worst” of what youve experienced why tease us with that? Whats the point of saying that? Wouldnt further/ more extreme examples add to your point?
It mystifies me that people like you have such little insight into basic and obvious causation. It stands to reason that in a racist, oppressive society, black people are going to turn offensive and practice the same ugly behavior; it’s not right, but there you have it. None of this any anything to do with white privilege which runs much deeper and is endorsed by the culture in the same way that black discrimination is sanctioned. Furthermore, you can walk through life free of that sixth grade experience and enjoy the white privilege that has been sanctioned for you, while blacks can never walk free of their color.
Racism is ugly and it Hurst. I remember walking my them 3 year old son in Miami Beach during the Hip Hop festival, three young African Americans women walking in the opposite direction stopped, and one told me “why don’t you adopt one of your own kind”. My son’s mother is from West Africa and I am a white Hispanic. It goes both ways.
Looks like I’m a little late to seeing this and I have no idea if you’re still reading the comments here, but I felt compelled to thank you for sharing.
As a 20-something white dude, I’m scoring pretty damn high on the privilege scale (even more so because, being a Brit living in the US, people seem to assume I’m smarter/more sophisticated than I am just because of my accent – case in point, I was at a wedding the other week and one of the groomsmen came to me and said “hey, you’re British, how do I fold a pocket square?”).
With that said, obviously I have no direct experience of the kinds of things you’re talking about, but I’m glad that you (and many others) are sharing stories like this. This is gonna be my go-to source to pass on to any friends who don’t understand why this stuff is important.
Your response was painful. Thank you for the time you took to put it out there.
As one of the few other “only spook in the room” growing up in the 70’s in the military. I can identify. But I did get a kick out of making them look, “inferior” whenever my intelligence on a problem was challenged. “I smiled quietly as I watched him burn…”.
Thank you Lori Lakin-Hutcherson. And your explanation of why you created #GBN is why I carry your feed on my website… So, that those who choose to be informed of the “Good Black News” can be informed.
I am the epitome of white privilege. My father was a physician, my mother was registered nurse turned stay at home mom. When I was 10 I was sent to a private, exclusive all girls Catholic school. There were five of us in that 5th grade class. And you know what? I didn’t. One of the five of us was black! I had no idea, she was just one of the five. We had sleepovers, birthday party’s, slumber parties, overnight field trip’s and NEVER, EVER, EVER did my parents, or any other parent of that class, ask anything along the lines of, “will the black girl be there?” NEVER. Never was race mentioned throughout my entire eight years at this prestigious school, in the Deep South, FILLED with white privilege. And over the years my school filled with many more girls of a different color than me. I was totally unaware, they were classmates, they were peers and they were friends.
As a young adult I took a trip to Tampa. While walking on the beach I met a man from New York. When he found out I was from Louisiana his first question to me was, “are you racist? ” I truly had no clue what he was talking about. My upbringing was such that I never saw color.
I did not see color until Obama. I saw color in the lines that reached around the block at the voting booth , lines that had never been there for a white candidate, lines that were there solely for the color of a candidates skin. That is racism.
You really are the very manifestation of white privilege itself. And what’s sad is that your haughty defensive tone reveals that you’ve yet to gain any insight. There was a reason why that guy in New York asked If you were a racist. Only the shield of white privilege could keep you blind to it.
Maline, now I’ve heard everything!! So many black folks voting for Obama is racist? Why? Because, for the very first time in American History, a Black man stood a good chance of becoming President, and you are pissed that Blacks flocked to vote for him?
Think of it this way, silly girl. Every President up until that point has been a white man, but THAT doesn’t bother you at all, does it? Under the definition of ‘white privilege’ in the dictionary, I’m afraid that your sulky little face would be most appropriate.
When exacty did you notice the color of voters when whites were running for office. Stop!!! Surely, you jest!!!!
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Doesn’t seem to be any other way to comment here- so I guess I’ll just do it here- someone shared this article on facebook and I’ll just comment the same here as I did there- because I think that you truly need to hear this:
You are mistaking everyday human bad behavior as ‘racism.’ As a white male, I can cite examples exactly of the same kind of poor treatment that you did- that have absolutely nothing to do with race- and everything to do with common everyday poor behavior. You are either completely paranoid or incredibly insecure. There actually is racism in the world- such as inner city poverty, or police brutality- that actually needs to be addressed. You setting the table at your own pity party detracts from meaningful action. Next time a white person asks you to help define white privilege, please assign the article to someone that has actually experienced it.
Which part of your “poor treatment” was confined to the color of your skin?
Again, another person showing their privilege and white fragility. Where in the US has your skin color caused you poor treatment? AND not to mention a white male tryinf to explain or dismiss the writers horrible experiences with white Privilege and racism. Know better and do better.
White privilege is … feeling entitled to take up vast amounts of space on Good Black News to explain that there is no white privilege.
Good morning Lori!
To me it sounds like this letter is staged and your response leaves much to be desired. This is because of one reason only, you failed dismally to address the white privilege your caption espouses. I am a South African, and there is nothing you have said that sheds light on white privilege, what you have succeed in doing was to give light tale about racism. What you meant to address is white privilege. The person you were addressing is none the wiser. A rewrite is in order if only to educate “Jason”
Kind Regard
Moabi Mametse
Moabi, This commentary you’ve written makes no sense. At. All.
Thanks Lori for the wisdom you shared. I am the on of an imagrent who came to the United States in the early 1930s to escape facisism in Italy. Growing upon a WASPI society I also experienced some of the things you did but on a much smaller scale. My closest childhood friend was a 1st generation Mexican. We experienced name calling such so Wop, greaseball, wetback etc. We learned to just deal with it since there were too many potential fights to fight. When I went of to college for my 1st degree I found out that “I grew up in a disadvantaged home”. That was really a shock but a statement I never accepted. I have just retired as a psychologist in a state prison for women. In my previous live I retired as a school administrator for special education students. I’m done with my work and am learning how to be retired.
I wish you well with your work
I’m very angry that people who belong to and Support BLM may not realize that are being played by the ghost in the machine George Soros. His main objective is to destroy our nation which means a complete shutdown of services that we require to continue our daily routines. If the government fails those who depend on subsities, retirement checks and medical assistance will be completely cutoff from their source of incomes. Consider these facts before you do anything you may regret,
Tyrese, you’re thinking of Howard Jarvis. He destroyed free college in California as part of his long term strategy of ending all government services. He was quite open about it.
Tyrese, you may be thinking of Donald Trump. He seems determined to destroy as much of the government agencies as he can. Who else would put cabinet members in charge of departments that they are more likely to undercut than to support? Putting Betsy DeVos in charge of the Education Department is one example. This department regulates public education. DeVos is interested only in charter schools, Christian charter schools I might add, which she intends to fund with taxpayer money.
Gracious is the word for this (remarkably so). Brilliant is another. Both in the writing and the razor sharp, succinct and on the money points made. What I can’t believe is after a year (it showed up in my Facebook feed as a ‘look back’ from a year ago) it hasn’t gone viral. So, all of the 30 people or so who look at my Facebook stuff will see it again – but I wish it could be published in the NYT, ( have you tried?)
Thank you for your kind words and for re-sharing! And although not picked up by the NYT, the piece above actually did have its viral moment last year when it was republished in Huffington Post, On Being, Quartz, Everyday Feminism and in Australian magazine Dumbo Feather.
Lori,
I read your post in its entirety, and I politely disagree that it has anything to do with white privilege. White privileged does not exist. Racism does though from both sides.
Black Priviledge can exist, you had the white people complaining the black kid got into UCLA over them, what do you call two individuals, exact same transcript, exact same family income, the only difference on their application is one checks “African Amercian” the other checks “White – not hispanic”? Then the Black person gets accepted? That’s black priviledge.
What happens when two candidates for a job have the same background, same skills, the employer will likely lean towards the black candidate, due to affirmative action. This is a Black Priviledge.
My son, while we were living in Tennessee, was bullied by a group of black kids. Much like them throwing stones in your pool. But I can’t blame it on racism, it’s just boys being boys. That’s Black Priviledge.
We live in a country today where racism from whites has become so intolerable, that blacks have reversed engineered their racism and are claiming “White Priviledge.”
Ma’am, you are a highly educated woman of color, I am a poorly educated honky. But even with your education you have become blind to what “your people” are going thru.
I quoted “your people” because that’s what I hear from a lot of black people, which is another term of “Black Priviledge”, when you are allowed to claim a certain existence or ethnic group but whites are not.
But look at Chicago, Detroit, and other major metropolis that are populated by blacks. You will find that they are mostly run by Democrats, most of the constituents are on welfare, and the number of Black on Black crime is thru the roof. The number of unwed mothers is high, drug use is rampant.
So, if I’m a racist for pointing out “Black Priviledge” so be it, but you can’t expect me to believe there is “White Priviledge” if you can’t believe there is “Black Priviledge.”
The fasted way to end racism is to stop spreading it, and take responsibility for your actions. My family is from
Canada and Russia, 2 generations removed. I have never owned a slave, my parents never did, my grandparents never did, yet till this day I am blamed for blacks selling blacks into slavery and whites owning them in the south. That’s “Black Priviledge”, blatantly blaming someone for something that never happened based on the color of their skin.
So the next time a woman clutches her purse a little bit closer, don’t blame her, blame the history of your people, the current history of what’s happening with crime and violence.
You’re lucky, you broke out of the democrat run plantation, but now you’re feeding into the lies, the stories, and are exactly who you think those with a lighter skin tone are. You may think your article is for the advancement of your skin color, but for the millions of white people, who suffer the persecution of our forefathers, enough!
Stop with this “White Priviledge” shit, you have far more things in your favor than we do, that’s Priviledge.
Yeah, sure, John White. If we only stop talking about “white privilege” and racism, they will cease to exist. Then why don’t you take your own example and shut your trap. Saying that Lori has escaped from “the democrat run plantation” doesn’t sound very nice. In fact, it sounds kind of hateful and racist. Oh! Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, John! Because that would mean such feelings don’t exist in me, right? You are a very silly person. Avoiding a subject doesn’t make it disappear. I’m surprised you don’t know better.
White privilege is… Telling its victims that it doesn’t exist, that the victims are the privileged ones, and anyway they are a bunch of scary drug addicts and/or single moms.
Hello Lori,
I just read your article. I am in tears. Thank you for giving us a glimpse of your experiences. People need to understand and you made it clear. I wish I had the power to take away all those painful experiences. Racism exists and it is wrong! I raised my daughters to understand that racism does exist and to speak up when they encounter it. I have experienced racism but I realize not to this extent. I am from Cuba and moved to the U.S. in the early 70s, not too many Hispanics in NJ at the time. I have seen racism at its ugliest. It happened to grandmother (a black lady) and her granddaughter. This happened almost 20 years ago and I often think about it. It hurts me today as much as it did the day it happened. I will never forget it.
Should everyone in America who is white apologize for being born this way? Should anyone born into wealth apologize for being brought into the world with a different disposition? Which is more offensive- to be accepted into a college with a 10 point learning curve because of the color of your skin? Or the fact that you didn’t get in because you were under qualified? Even worse to fill a racial quota?
This is going to come across very crudely, but in every other Country the majority always rules. In every other Country other than the United States of America is it ruled by a person of that heritage/descent . This Country on the other hand – has given people of any race, religion, sex, and color the opportunity to become anything they want. Wouldn’t this make America the greatest Country on the planet?
I refuse to accept this racist narrow minded way of thinking. My future is NOT determined by my surroundings or my upbringing. My future is not determined by the color of my skin, but by the choices I decide to make.
If I am fortunate enough to be the only person that looks like me in a room- that means that I have an opportunity to bridge a gap, be an example. I am a minority, and therefore would not expect to be in a room full of people that look like me.
Lastly, what is it called when a black person is racist? There are places where the room is full of black folk, and one white person is in the room. There are all black neighborhoods with the majority being wealthy . There are schools that preference black people over white people.
So why is there a double standard- how is one group privileged, and another entitled…. if we want to cease segregation it has to stop with this narrow minded way of thinking.
Regrettably well said! We all must be internally capable of the angst that we will undergo during such an undertaking required for complete ‘forgiveness’ to be justified, apologies notwithstanding!
Well,I appreciate how well thought out and eloquently written .My experience were similar in cases.I was the only white kid in the neighborhood I grew up until I was 10.In fact they rarely called me by my name,they just called my white boy.Im 47 and my two best friends then are still my friends today.Roland Brown ,African American ,and Tony Luna ,once an illegal hispanic.Look Im not going to say racism does exist,im not naive.But you cant attribute everytime someone of another color treats you badly to prejudice.Some people are crummy people.That you attach racism to so many incidents to racism shows your prejudicial .A boy throws rocks in a pool?Thats just kids.It was wrong for that boy to call your sister a nigger because he ,lost the race.But Im willing to bet if he lost the race to a white girl,he would called her some name too.Because he is a sore loser and a crummy kid.Im sorry I just dont see some of this as a race issue as much as a human race issue.These white privilege ideologies dont level the playing field,they widen the gap.
Fierce good list. Hoping your husband is never revealed to be a bigamist.
I was truly informed by having read the article with respect to white privilege. God bless the author.
Ty Rev!
If it is true that God created each of us and designed us to be a certain sex, color or height where does that leave us. I was born into an Irish family. If you read the history of Ireland and England you will see that the Irish were severely persecuted for centuries. In the late 1800’s tens of thousands were starving to death and my grandparents left Ireland with the clothes on their backs and came to the United States. They had nothing. They were faced with discrimination from the outset. Signs were every where ” No Irish”. If they could find a job it was the lowest dirtiest job in the country. If Psalm 139:1-16 is true then we need to understand that God is my Creator. He made me for a special purpose. He has a plan for my life. While I am white, I believe that the “White Privilege” is being used to reverse discrimination and/or an excuse to transfer blame for personal failure. I have too many Black friends that have made it. Perhaps it is time to put the past behind us and be the best we each can be for God. 1 Corinthians 10:31. PS I have lived in a country for 30 years where White people are less than 1% of the population. My family has suffered at the hands of those that hate us because we are white. There will always be racism as we live in a sinful world but we have come a log way, in large part, due to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. May we seek to recognize that there is only 1 race, the Human Race, and God created us all for a purpose.
may we see your friend’s response?
Ms. Hutcherson: Thanks so very much for explaining this to us. I really DID have a clear idea of the harms being done. I DON’T allow my friends to make racist jokes. I’ve tried to explain White Privilege to them. I’ve had a blog (quiet for now due to health reasons) addressing my fellow White people to try to move them to atone for the harms being done to my Black friends/cohorts. Also, I don’t think it is right to ask Black people to forgive us – it places an unfair burden in addition to the harms done. What we Whites must do is be honest about our racism (knee-jerk gut reactions) and change our behaviors towards our Black neighbors. Thank you.
Wonderful article! One thing I am confused by, however, is the story about your boss. I can only gather from the conclusion that you felt his feelings about your ideas, etc. were “based on solely on his ego and your race.” Perhaps there is more that you are not sharing, but I’m having a hard time understanding how “white privilege” was the basis of him thinking you were conceited, didn’t know as much you thought you did, and didn’t have the talent you thought you had. I highlight this because, among the very compelling scenarios you mention here, and what I have heard from others, the inclusion of items that appear to be more like bruises to the ego or grievances about difficult people, etc. can add to confusion for readers trying to understand the core issue. Telling someone that they are “ignorant and clearly [have] a lot to learn” is very stark language for ANY employee to hurl at the person who hired them. So, while his ego may have been out of control, the scenario you’ve conveyed here says something about yours as well. When two strong minded people of differing races clash, sometimes it’s just that…. and not about race or privilege.
Thank you for your thoughtful question, Ms. Murray and I understand how my convenance of that particular situation could lead you to it. You are right when you suppose that there was more that I did not share, but what I can say is that when my boss apologized, he apologized specifically for his prejudgment of me as a black female writer. As to the tone of how I said what I said to him – which I think you may be supposing was forceful – it wasn’t. It was said without sting and in a conciliatory manner, with a headshake and a smile. True remorse goes a long way with me, so I actually forgave him and for the most part we had a cordial professional relationship because he did try to learn from it.
The incident with the boss made me think of a very typical sexist response to a smart woman. As I think the author noted, intersectionality is likely to be part of what was going on: sexism and racism.
Thank you. Old white woman here. I’m learning, and am very grateful to you for being willing to teach me. I believe you, I recognize my privilege when it’s pointed out and am working to recognize it on my own, and am especially trying to root out of my language and responses and behavior the kinds of things you point out. I’m so very sorry it is necessary. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this. Would you mind if I reblog to my site?
Not at all. Please do!
Thank you!!
Great post, Ms Hutcherson, thank you. I’m a 54-year-old white guy. I think a simple way to get across the concept of privilege (white, male, whatever) is that it’s all the crap you *don’t* have to put up with because you’re not in the group that does. As just one example, I know for sure that I have never been, and will never be, pulled over by a cop for “driving while black”. It literally can’t happen to me, though it clearly happens with alarming regularity to people of color. So there’s a little unpleasantness that can never befall me. But it happens quite a bit to Ron Sims, the former Executive of King County, Washington, maybe the fourth or fifth most powerful elected position in the state. Just because he’s black. http://www.seattletimes.com/opinion/ron-sims-gives-his-take-on-driving-while-black-in-seattle/
Naturally, most people with this kind of privilege are blissfully unaware of it because it’s kinda hard to notice things that keep not happening to you. And when informed that they do have this kind of privilege, they are genuinely mystified, or even angry. “What do you mean I’m privileged? I’ve worked in menial jobs all my life. I’ve never been successful. Lots of people in supposedly disadvantaged groups have it way better than me.” Well, white privilege doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be successful. It’s not the keys to the executive washroom. It’s just a bunch of obstacles (or humiliations) that aren’t in your way, even though plenty of others might be.
Thank you for writing. And I love what you’re doing with your Good Black News blog. It always makes me angry when news stories start with “Black Man…” Just use their name! Like anyone else! I’m convinced the media perpetuates racism more than anything. I’m sorry for all the injustices you’ve been through. I’m just one person, but I’m looking for ways to make things better. This needs to change!
1. First of all, let me say that this is an excellent piece that should be widely read.
2. It would be even better if it acknowledged that a person who is labelled by others as “white” (as in, “white” or “non-black”) can sometimes be on the wrong end of some of these sorts of privilege, or other sorts that are very much like them. It is not a matter of “me too” or “him too”, but of showing that the picture is more nuanced than a label suggests.
3. We don’t usually label the enjoyment of a right “privilege”, at least not most of the time. Even, say, “the privilege of having a roof on our heads” (a correct phrase in a system in which that is not considered a right) is something you would hear only at Thanksgiving, say. Granted, “privilege” has the good side of putting the onus of action on those who are more likely to enjoy what is on paper a universal right; still, it has silver-spoon connotations that are jarring when applied to a population that isn’t uniformly, er, privileged.
Ignorance is a powerful drug to give up. Although the author made it quite clear that she came from an upper middle class background and was raised by two parents, commenters insist on dismissing white privilege while promoting black stereotypes as the “true” problem. It’s difficult to come up with a more glaring example of white privilege than that. “Those experiences were not racially motivated and, even if they were, it’s your community’s fault for [insert list of stereotypes about black people, family structure, and culture that you have clearly shown do not apply to you], so get it together.” So, even when someone says they grew up upper middle class, went to Harvard, and are married to another professional, they are actually a fatherless “thug” from the hood who deserve to have their talents dismissed at the very least, because reasons? The circular logic is absurd and denial deep.
I really admire this writing. Thank you for making the effort to chronicle a set of concrete examples throughout your life. Thank you for undertaking the emotional labor of kindly trying to afford your friend a glimpse of your perspective. Fielding that sort of request on social media is obnoxious, and it would have been understandable if you didn’t want to disclose painful aspects of your life in response to his casual inquiry. But you did and this narrative is effective. Thank you for sharing with the rest of us.
Your mom sounds badass, and so do you.
This was a terrific piece, thank you for sharing your experiences. As a middle aged white woman who believes she treats all people with respect, kindness, humor, etc. (well, maybe not all drivers in Boston at all times) I found myself wondering about my non-white friends and their experiences, especially in their younger, formative years. I grew up in a small NJ town in the 60s and 70s and I cherish my experiences and look back on my youth with very fond memories. As I read your post, I wondered about my non-white friends and their experiences about their youth and I got a lump in my throat. Did they experience this discrimination right before my eyes and I didn’t know and they didn’t share? I am so sure they did. I hope I can be brave enough to ask of them, as your friend asked of you, to share their experiences so I can continue to raise my awareness, but perhaps more importantly, to let them know they have me and my voice (which they will remember as no small voice) by their side speaking up about injustices arising from skin color, gender or any other difference that makes people unique – something to be celebrated – and targets for discrimination – something to be eliminated.
Thank you.
As a mix raced gay man. I understand what it feels to belong to a minority and being discriminated. I understand that prejudice and stereotypes are real. However, some things that you experienced happens to everyone and are more related with social class or genre discrimination (like the case of the catering ladies, or the boss thinking you are not prepared). I believe that a bigger issue is inequality and the structural violence on the USA.
So, I disagree with the way be tend to relate all the problems to white privilege or racism towards the black population. That is not doing any favor, just creating and perpetuating the non sense of racism. A lot of black people are racist too, so the problem is not only about whites. We should tackle all demonstrations of violence and have an open discussion about the black population being poorer that the white, the police being violent with everyone especially blacks and the higher rates of violent crime between black young males. How can we help to dismantle cultural violence in our societies? Those are questions that needs to be answer by all of us, not just blaming whites for everything.
Not only blacks are oppressed, you being a woman should know that women as a group are even more oppressed around the world that black people. They are victims of so much abuse by some men. That is the “Male Privilege”. Once the worst ones since we are talking of 3.5 billion people.
That is just an example of why I am on favor of All Live Matters rather than just one group. I don’t want a MixRacedGayLivesMatter group, I just want respect from everyone and tolerance because we are all valuable. And again, I agree that racism exist and blacks are maybe the most attacked group, however, I think it is important to mention all the time that bigotry exist in every group. Not only the whites, so it is annoying the portrait of all them like the bad ones and being guilty for something that just a part of the white population do. And the black and the rest of us just as poor victims.
I am sorry if you have been victim of racism. I have been too (by white and black people), but we need to stop feeling victims. If they behave wrong, it is their problem. I will not be affected by bigotry. I am with you in that something must be done to achieve a more equalitarian society. But I will not blame a full group when someone discriminates me.
I’m not saying we as a nation are getting off track. All of these issues are real. But there is a lot of misdirection.
Always remember the germ of this “new” movement is not new. Anytime a life is taken, in anger, retribution, self defense or accident it is a heavy hesyavy thing. For both sides.
But when a black person is responsible for the death of another black person there is a straight line from incident to prosecution. Yet in many many many circumstances when either individual is white there are speed bumps that benefit the white person. Not everytime. But enough that over decades of life and retelling of stories, black people have to ask “why doesn’t a black life warrant the same due process?”. That is the essence of the privilege issue. This is the essence of BLM.
The fact that we focus on police is because of their authority. But it’s all human nature.
But we argue about human nature. As opposed to legal oversight. One can be changed. The other can not. The”bad apples in BLM are no different than those in law enforcement.
Of course there is privilege. Of course there are people milking the system. But let’s not lose sight of the ultimate privilege. A fair and even treatment from our justice system AFTER a death has happened. Because both sides know that consequences should not be based on color or class.
Applause! Perfectly said. Thank you!
What is the benefit of isolating and labeling whites as “privilaged?” (which is by no means is an endearing term). How does minimizing one race elevate another? How does it solve the problem of micro aggressions towards blacks and other races, alike? It’s a drivisive term. Similar to calling a child a spoiled little brat — it creates little dialogue. What is the benefit of calling out white people, majority of whom possess no damning racial bias, as privileged? While your entent may be to shed light on, and solve the problem of societal micro aggressions, instead you are using decisive language that doesn’t get to the heart of the issue. If the intent is to solve the problem, labeling whites as privileged is hardly a viable solution.
It’s one thing to point out the disadvantages that some people face just because of their race, gender, income, etc. It’s another thing to recognize that not having those disadvantages is a kind of advantage. All the things that don’t hold you back allow you to get ahead faster (or at all). But lacking a disadvantage doesn’t feel like an advantage, because it’s not something you have; it’s something you don’t have to deal with.
For example, rich people are always telling poor people to save more for a rainy day. Well, that’s easy for rich people to say because that’s easy for rich people to do. They actually have income that isn’t already committed to current living expenses. They may recognize that poor people have obstacles because they’re poor, but they don’t really understand what those obstacles mean, because they don’t face them in their own lives. They’ve never lived paycheck to paycheck. People with privilege have a hard time empathizing with people who lack privilege. It’s not because they’re bad (necessarily); it’s because they have a blind spot (or spots). It’s not an insult to point out blind spots. Privilege isn’t bad per se, it’s just something you should be aware of before you criticize others, or give them well-meaning but impractical advice.
Wouldn’t it be more benfitial to shed light on the disadvantaged party, rather than the advantaged party? If you are trying to uplift a community or a minority population, labeling the advantaged population does little to educate and promote the upward mobility of the historically oppressed.
The vast majority of whites live paycheck to paycheck.
I agree, privilege isn’t a meant to be a demeaning term; however, expecting white to come to terms with their own societal advantages while labeling them as “privileged”, isn’t the most logical way to educate and influence.
Josh, if you think “privilege” is too loaded of a term, then I’m open to suggestions for a better one. But the point of making people aware of their privilege is to get them to see the tailwind that’s helping them out, even if they’ve never noticed it. It’s to get them to understand what people without their privilege face. A lot of white people think that driving while black isn’t even a thing. Pointing out that they’ve never been stopped for that while most black people have on multiple occasions isn’t meant to make them feel guilty. It’s meant to help them see the problem.
Privilege isn’t about guilt. How can you be guilty for something you had no say in? Privilege is something you are born into. Examining privilege isn’t about eliminating privilege. It’s about extending privilege to everybody else. Nobody should get stopped by the police just because of their skin color. If it’s never happened to you, it’s hard to believe it happens routinely to others. And if it’s hard to believe it’s happening, it’s hard to stop it.
Hi,
Very cogent, and easy to understand your view. However, please consider that cops have the duty to investigate suspicion. I wish it were not so that black people have a reputation for illicit behavior, but they do. That is a fact. I don’t have any statistics, but so many out of so many seemingly unwarranted stops must result in uncovering illegality such as dope, unregistered weapons, unlicensed driver and such. When that happens both black and white gain equally. We all have to bear the burden of misdeeds perpetrated by our fellow man. For some it’s not unwarranted stops. For instance, we all have to bear the burden of financing the courts and the jails, and for some the burden of being killed or robbed, but for many the fear of being killed or robbed. When an innocent black man is stopped he is carrying the burden brought down upon him by others. May the stigma vanish in time. Until then let’s let the police do their job for all of our good.
However, please consider that cops have the duty to investigate suspicion. I wish it were not so that black people have a reputation for illicit behavior, but they do. That is a fact. I don’t have any statistics, but so many out of so many seemingly unwarranted stops must result in uncovering illegality such as dope, unregistered weapons, unlicensed driver and such. When that happens both black and white gain equally. We all have to bear the burden of misdeeds perpetrated by our fellow man. For some it’s not unwarranted stops. For instance, we all have to bear the burden of financing the courts and the jails, and for some the burden of being killed or robbed, but for many the fear of being killed or robbed. When an innocent black man is stopped he is carrying the burden brought down upon him by others. May the stigma vanish in time. Until then let’s let the police do their job for all of our good.
Dr. Thomas Ofner, cops have the duty to investigate suspicion *impartially*, not with flagrant racial and/or class bias. A huge part of the reason that black people “have a reputation for illicit behavior” (which pretty much shows your bias) is that cops literally target black neighborhoods for extra patrols and black persons for extra scrutiny like stopping, frisking, searching their cars, etc. With all that extra unwarranted attention, is it any wonder that cops turn up more infractions, crime, and contraband in the places they are looking the most? And of course, the court system doesn’t help with its bias of convicting blacks at a higher rate than whites and sentencing them to harsher punishment than whites *for exactly the same offenses*. I would love for the police to “do their job for all of our good”. In fact, that’s precisely what I’m asking and what Black Lives Matter is demanding. If only they didn’t have such an obvious tilt to whose good they do their job for. You can rationalize it all you want, but your complacent (complicit) attitude means it will never change, and you’re OK with that.
You are a very good voice for the common complaint. I fully understand. I now ask you to carefully read my other letter one more time. Therein you may find a different attitude than the one you reflect back to me about me. I feel confident, based on general knowledge, that this day and age, well past Jim Crow times, when laws align with the need for equality, and severe punishments exist for noncompliance, that few cops black or white, stop people for absolutely no reason other than skin color. Yes, there are terrible people among people of all colors. Yes there are many, in numbers but not percentage, who want to push others down, want to belittle others in order to look big themselves. I would like this not to be so, just as I voiced in the other letter saying that I would like black folks not to have the reputation for lawbreaking and violence. I personally never promote such attitude and reproach those I hear to generalize thus. But I’m not in charge of manufacturing common attitudes. They are what they are, organic growths.and we have to live with them, and make sure that we as individuals don’t verify such attitudes with our behavior. As long as we feel as victims, as long as we don’t respond to a traffic stop that seems unwarranted with respect toward the police, we will only hurt our selves with endless finger pointing toward endless enemies of the other color. You may have read Sen.Tim Scott’s story of seven stops in one year in D.C. “Was I speeding sometimes, sure,” he says. He calls the others stops trivial. But why would he bring up seven stops when his story is about unfair stops? My hypothesis is that seven is more than, say, five, and greater the number the easier to justify the victim attitude. Don’t you think that he should have subtracted the speeding stops even if not the “trivial” ones?Just think of it. Some black folks have entirely escaped the victim mentality and they live and thrive in our country while some are deep in the mire, and some, this being the greatest tragedy, encourage their own brethren to stay in the mire and remain manipulable by telling them that the way out of the mire is to bash and bash and bash. I hope you as an individual see through the audacity and spend your time making best use of your talents, and let the slights perpetrated by the haters of the world be. They get theirs.
Dr. Thomas Ofner: So…blame the victim, then? Got it. Your complacency is noted.
“…severe punishment…for noncompliance” with civil rights laws? What planet are you living on? Cops and others are almost never held accountable to these laws, not least because it’s so hard to prove there wasn’t some legitimate reason for singling out the victim. And cops are plenty familiar with the multitude of ways they can dodge responsibility for their actions. Even in the rare cases when cops are pinned down for their misdeeds, the severest penalty is generally dismissal from their job, and not even banishment from their career. Fortunately, with the advent of widespread video, this ice jam is finally starting to thaw. Starting. Still, so many years after Rodney King’s beating.
The thing you seem to refuse to grasp is that black folks’ “reputation for lawbreaking and violence” is caused and perpetuated by cops focusing more of their attention on the black (and brown) community in the first place. This has been going on for literally centuries in a vicious cycle–cops find more issues where they’re looking the most, so those communities have a reputation for trouble, so the cops focus more of their attention there, and people with police records have so few economic opportunities that the cycle of poverty and criminality continues. This is far from an “organic growth” of common attitudes. It is purposely, if often unconsciously, sustained on a widespread basis.
If you’re incapable of seeing that this is a problem that will not fix itself, then you are very much a part of the problem. You say you “personally never promote such attitude and reproach those I hear to generalize thus.” Yet your every post here has promoted exactly that attitude with precisely the generalization that “black folks…have [a] reputation for lawbreaking and violence.” In the very preceding sentence, no less! Did you really not notice this juxtaposition? Do you think lawbreaking and violence happen in a vacuum?
Your compliments and high-minded speechifying do not obscure this fundamentally racist stance. You seem oblivious to the fact that today’s race problems have deep roots in the Jim Crow era and much further back. If you think we’re somehow blissfully beyond that, you’re deeply out of touch with what’s going on. And it’s not like I live on the mean streets. All you have to do is read first-hand accounts and look at the studies and statistics.
Our criminal justice system is deeply and pervasively racist, at every step in the process (assuming the process isn’t short-circuited with extra-judicial punishment). For the same type and severity of crime, whites are less likely to be suspected, less likely to be arrested, less likely to be jailed before trial, more likely to face a jury that looks like them, less likely to be convicted, less likely to receive lengthy sentences. This is not OK. And it’s not inevitable. We can fix it, but only if enough people understand there’s a problem that can be fixed. You clearly don’t understand this or don’t want to. I suspect your blasé attitude would change in a hurry if you were to be held to the same high level of scrutiny and punishment as blacks.
I’ve spent my lifetime upholding the need for equality and love for my fellow man. Yet, I’m often misunderstood to the extent of being seen as the problem. I do not expect folks who hold that attitude toward me to change. It is I who has to learn, change, and I learned a lot from what you had to say. Thank you. After a lot of growth on both of our parts we can hope that we can find common ground. Among other things I learned that spin is everything. It almost seems that it’s not my letter you responded to. Yet I know that in the center of it all is pain. Pain, when great enough, brings out its own interpretation, and I get it. Yet I repeat, I am not in charge of developing popular attitudes. They are just there, and when they are fallacious it’s up the individuals about whom the attitudes had formed to conspicuously act in such way as to change the attitudes. There are millions of black folks who live exemplary lives. What do they know that others don’t?
I’m sorry, Dr. Thomas Ofner, but if your comments here are any indication, you’ve spent your lifetime defending the status quo, bemoaning its unpleasantness, and putting the entire onus for improvement on those with the least capacity to effect change. The least capacity to effect change as the result of generations of oppression, continuing to this day. Worse, you’re actually demanding that the oppressed hold themselves to an inhumanly high standard in order to achieve that change. A much, much higher standard than the relatively unoppressed must maintain. Much worse, you’re condemning groups and supporting their persecution in retaliation for the behavior of individuals. That’s pretty much the definition of racism.
You say, “I am not in charge of developing popular attitudes. They are just there, and when they are fallacious it’s up the individuals about whom the attitudes had formed to conspicuously act in such way as to change the attitudes. There are millions of black folks who live exemplary lives. What do they know that others don’t?” Well first, popular attitudes are the accumulation of individual attitudes, so yes, in fact, you are responsible for developing popular attitudes. Or do you think yours doesn’t count?
Second, popular attitudes are *not* “just there”. They are swayed by a multitude of influences, not least of which is how much attention the system focuses on them. When the criminal justice system treats various groups with differing levels of preference, that is a huge, unjust influence, and one that we can directly address. It is also emphatically not something that the oppressed groups can do without help.
And as for those in oppressed groups leading exemplary lives, well, just as white privilege is no guarantee of a happy life, pervasive oppression is no guarantee of a sad one. Without discounting anybody’s hard work and personal responsibility, the luck of the draw is important. You can still win a poker game if you’re the only one at the table paying an ante. Doesn’t make it a fair game. And it doesn’t mean the ante is your fault or that it’s your responsibility to just play a better game. The right thing to do is remove the ante or make everybody pay the same ante. And you know it. If you think the one person paying the ante has enough clout to make this change, you’re ignoring history. No oppressed group has ever overcome oppression without support from outside or from the oppressor class itself.
You keep saying you get it, you understand. But if you think you’re not responsible for being part of the solution, then you really don’t. For that matter, you don’t even seem to think there is a problem outside the black community. That’s just nuts. This is not “their” problem. This is *our* problem. Your tax dollars and mine are being spent to oppress people in *our* name. That is not OK. But you seem pretty OK with it.
This is really wonderful to help people understand the issue. But I have to say, to some of these points, similar things happened to me for being the “poor kid “and I’m as white as can be.
And that’s where intersectionality comes in, Heidi, which is just a fancy way of saying that there are different kinds of privilege. Because you weren’t affluent, you lacked regular ol’ privilege privilege. But you still had the advantage of being white. You certainly faced obstacles due to poverty, but nobody thought you were in the “wrong” neighborhood or suspected you of being a criminal just because of your skin color.
Actually they did think I was in the wrong “place” and said so to my face. That was a disgrace to the neighborhood. And some of those people (not all) who treated me like crap were black.
Heidi, I don’t doubt you at all. I know there are neighborhoods where I would not be welcome because of the whiteness of my skin. But that’s much, much less common for me than it is for black people, and I can pretty much avoid it entirely if I want too, whereas black people usually can’t. And it’s certainly true that poor people are seen as suspicious in affluent neighborhoods. That’s what I mean about different kinds of privilege. And whatever kind of privilege you have doesn’t mean you always get treated like royalty. But it does mean you have a leg up in certain situations. White privilege and male privilege get you a leg up in more situations than any other kind of privilege except money. Money is the ultimate privilege. And that doesn’t mean you didn’t earn it or don’t deserve it. It just means you have it and others don’t, and that gives you an advantage that should be recognized with some humility.
It seems you’re stuck on the privilege, and assuming that only means having wealth and prestige. It doesn’t, as very eloquently demonstrated in this editorial.
Really insightful material for personal growth and development. Thank you for writing this, Lori.
This is enlightening. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences.
I have experienced a more direct effect of my white privilege, and it hit me like a slap in the face. When my husband and I first moved to State College, PA, we went to Best Buy to shop for an appliance for our new house. As I walked in, I had my head turned talking to My husband, and I accidentally brushed up against the side of a teenage boy that was walking by with what I assume was his sister. Realizing I had bumped into him because I was not being careful, I smiled and said, “Oh! Excuse me! I’m so sorry.”…My normal statement when I accidentally bump into someone. The older girl backhands her brother on the shoulder and whispers fiercely, “Watch what you are doing! That’s a white woman!”
At the time I viewed this selfishishly thinking “well that’s not fair…they don’t even know me. What difference does it make that I am white?? And it was my fault anyway.” In hindsight, I now think the reaction may have really been more of a warning to her brother to be much more careful about who he bumped into because of the danger of bumping into the wrong person (more of a watch-out-for-moving-cars kind of a warning)…which makes me very very sad.
TL;DR
Jesus said “the poor will always be with you….” I do not read that to pertain only to an economic condition.I also suspect that a line might have been lost in translation or simply left out; “as will the bigoted.” No matter what halting progress we make, there will always be those who just can’t – or won’t – get it.
Thank you for sharing, Lori. Your editorial was both moving and instructive.
I believe it meant the spiritually poor, not those who don’t have enough. The rich are often the poorest among us, they have lost their moral compass in the pursuit of wealth. Jesus didn’t care about material wealth, he was concerned about souls.
I married a Middle Eastern man and have two children, one with white skin, the other with very brown skin. I have to say their experiences in life are different. My white child was accepted into the gifted and talented program at the urging of his teacher. I had to fight to get my brown child into the program, even though her IQ is just as high as his. When she walked into the GATE classroom, the other children asked her if she was in the right room. No one ever questioned his right to be there. She has had to put up with racist taunts (and she got the whole spectrum, since kids couldn’t quite decide what race she was). He didn’t. He never had a new manager zero in on him and pick on him because his manager didn’t want “one of those” on his crew, and had decided to make life so miserable he’d want to quit. That happened to my daughter. I don’t fear my son will be assaulted because someone might think he’s a Muslim. I am afraid for my daughter, because she looks so Middle Eastern…and she’s an atheist American. I think about white privilege a lot. I didn’t use to think I had it, because I grew up so poor we didn’t even have beds in the house, and Americans in general hate the poor, and really hate the very poor. But my hurdles in life had to do with lack of property, and I was able to overcome them. I am not immediately judged when I walk into a room based on the color of my skin .
Beautifully expressed. Thank you.
Excellent article and an important discussion to have and for people who are white to understand. Here’s my hopefully “value add” to this. Personally, I get this. Even though I grew up poor, in the same neighborhood with poor black, Latino and other poor whites, the poor whites still didn’t have to start from a place where our black and Latino brothers and sisters had to start from. We may have been looked down on as poor, but being poor and black or poor and Latino was even worse. I get it.
However, that being said, I think we need to find a better or at least different word than “privilege” or “privileged” – when you think about it, it’s actually “neutrality” or being viewed “neutrally” as a starting point as opposed to being viewed negatively, suspiciously, in or with a bigoted slant, for persons of color – it’s wrong by any stretch, every time, any time – and again, the issue to many of us is crystal clear, but the minute you tell people, many of whom have been economically disadvantaged regardless of race, that they are “privileged” (which is more of a “rich person’s” word) you are going to get pushback and therefore the obvious and clear and important message gets completely lost in the battle over semantics.
I think if you start out with an explanation of white “societal neutrality” (I don’t know what word to use really) and explain how much easier that is to live with regardless of economic position comparatively, you can possibly get more understanding – a “well, yeah, I get that” reaction rather than “I don’t feel “privileged” in many respects” — where then you have to go through that whole part of the conversation which devolves to disagreement (“I’m not privileged”).
Words and context are important. By using something more neutral but AS and EQUALLY illustrative without losing the import of the issue, you maintain the required context but eliminate the emotionally reactive objection to the word “privileged”…
Just my 2 white but as-tarnished cents (haha). I love you (which I think in the end is the best thing we can all start telling and showing each other as humans on this planet).
Thank you for your insight, intelligence and wisdom.
James
California
Maybe “advantaged” is a better word than “privileged”. But I’m not sure it’s really possible to get across the idea of relative “better-off-ness” with completely neutral language. The root issue is that certain groups get a head start in life simply by dint of skin color, gender, etc. And white male is assumed to be “standard” (neutral), so it’s hard for “standard” people to see that they actually have advantages and that their idea of neutral is actually pretty strongly skewed.
I’m a middle-aged white male. I’ve always thought of my ethnicity as “none”. Which is really weird when I think about it, but I still think of myself as plain vanilla. For that matter, it’s weird to think of vanilla as a blank flavor. It tastes like vanilla! But all the other flavors are seen in contrast to vanilla. I think race in the US is like that. It’s very difficult for me to think of myself as part of a racial “group”. Why should it be easy to think of other people that way? But I do.
And I think that’s the point of discussing privilege. It’s an attempt to get people to see something that’s been invisible to them, but that others can see. And it’s something that has real and lasting effects on people’s lives.
I want to like this 100 times.
Here’s how I heard it expressed: White privilege is not defined by the gains I receive, but by the lack of injustice I have to endure.
[…] EDITORIAL: What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege […]
You know what? I understand what this is like. Having lived in Japan for 11 years, the exact same thing applies when you’ve become the minority. It’s not white privilege in Japan, it’s Japanese privilege. Not Asian privilege, but Japanese privilege, because all non-Japanese go through the same things to varying degrees. I’ve felt uncomfortable in various places, I’ve had to watch myself while walking past police, I’ve had to endure the stares, and I’ve had to deal with hostility simply because I’m white. Live in a country where you’re the minority, and understanding becomes very clear.
This was a very well-written account of a lifetime of situations that unfortunately (or fortunately, whatever your perspective may be) many of us with White Privilege would never have experienced, and may not even believe people do experience this systemic racism. What bothers me are the replies to the other readers who are attempting to relay situations where they too may have experienced similar treatment due to their race/ethnicity/gender. They are NOT saying that their suffering is the same, or as deeply ingrained in our society, or is as life-changing. I believe they are trying to commiserate with the author and say, “yes, I have experienced this in specific situations, and it hurts. I can’t imagine what it must be like having to put up with this your entire life, and knowing that both your ancestors as well as generations of offspring will also be impacted”. Instead, they are blamed as promoting “All Lives Matter”.
In order to get a glimpse of what the author is relaying, those of use who have not experienced a lifetime of such racism only have our limited personal experiences to draw from. To say that those hurtful experiences are just a sampling of what non-whites go through frequently is true. To say that they don’t count at all is false. How else can I begin to understand what you are saying if I don’t try to relate it to my own experiences? Just reading about it does no justice; living it is the only way to understand, and eventually, create change. The danger is in me (or the other posters) thinking that the few isolated incidents that I have experienced equate to the lifetime of experiences that the author has encountered. However, I do not believe that the other posters are saying this. I’m surely not!
Each one of the author’s examples have happened to all us from time to time, and not just because of race, skin color, ethnicity or gender, but because mean people just exist. However, I doubt that most of us who are white have experienced a complete lifetime of such treatment and have constantly been exposed to insult, hurt and hatred. But in order for me to even begin to understand what the author is trying to explain, I have to find those situations in my own life where I too felt marginalized, tormented, unfairly treated, etc. Only then can I begin to comprehend the severity and institutionalization of the problem.
I also think it’s in bad taste to marginalize the racial discrimination of other impacted groups as well. I am specifically thinking of our Jewish friends who have experienced many many years of hatred. However, to be fair, I also believe that it is worse the way that black people have been treated as it is so easy to immediately discriminate on skin color and outward appearance. Not to diminish the plight of the Jewish people, but to also recognize that systemic racism against black people is a whole lot worse in the US.
I think I’ve been waiting for this article since I was 19 years old (over 30 years ago). At that time my boyfriend and I were given double birds by two well dressed (in three piece suits no less) professional white men in a public restaurateur. At first I didn’t understand that they were focusing on us, and when I did understand that, I could not figure out why. Then it hit me. My boyfriend’s skin was dark. That’s all. We were polite customers at that restaurant and were already finished and outside going to his car and the businessmen flipping us off publicly were still inside the restaurant. When it hit me, I spun on my heels and cussing a blue streak stalked toward them. My b/f plead for me not to make things worse. When I could not understand how it could make it worse – and didn’t for YEARS -, THAT was white privilege. As a white, even though female, I have a certain nearly inalienable right to disagree and criticize another white person publicly. I may or may not get an angry reaction but I never doubted the right I have to do so, especially in the face of such obvious injustice and cruelty. But having a beautiful black boyfriend suddenly made it a thousand times more complex. Nothing would have been done to me, I now understand. But they would have hunted him down, or hired someone to hunt him down and do God knows what to him as payback. Or just because they think they have the right all due to a difference in skin color pigment. And that is so mild, most people either boo-hoo it (ignorant whites) or tell me I have NEVER understood (seriously and truly wounded blacks). But the point at which we can understand, really “get” this, that is our flashpoint to a higher way of thinking and the better chance of getting this out in the open, facing it, and hopefully righting it. As it is now, every black person in America including our esteemed President Obama pretty much has done enough “on the cross” time in their lives to be guaranteed a place in heaven.
Reblogged this on Simply Marquessa.
Yes, it’s real. Here are another two examples.
1) I walk into a doctor’s office and expect to be treated as if I were making informed choices. I do, of course, factor in the doctor’s opinions, but I don’t always agree. And I expect that my final choice is the one that will happen. This is almost always how it plays out, but I don’t often hear about that with POC. Either they’re treated as if they’re ignorant and making choices for foolish reasons or they’re bullied into making choices that they didn’t want.
2) I’ve spent a good bit of time in the Dept of Social Services in the past few years. I almost always am treated as if I am there due to a series of unfortunate events, rather than because I am playing the system. I don’t see that happening to most of the other people around me.
The thing is, in both of these examples, people could justify their behavior by pointing to poor behavior on the part of the clients. But which came first? I’m inclined to believe that facing figures of authority who expect poor behavior and are rude and disrespectful to clients & patients is partly responsible for their attitudes… and in return, rude behavior on the part of the clients causes the staff to become defensive and rude… so it just cycles over and over and making things worse. So what’s the solution? Obviously we all (patients, clients, staff, doctors, caseworkers) need to stand up for ourselves and demand respect, but it’s also critical that allies stand up and speak, too.
I don’t know if that’s enough, but it’s what I can do for the time being. I may have a reputation of being a troublemaker, but my conscience won’t permit anything less.
Thank you for your open comments! But I am a prime example that the treatment is not exclusive to blacks. In my early 20’s I was arrested without charges (I am white female) My hands and feet were tied and cuffed and I was beaten by 6 cops. Why?? Because I was gay female!! I was called ugly names that I cannot repeat here. Ultimately, I was charged with resisting arrest and battery on 5 cops. Now… one woman…. 5 cops who are fully armed…. really?????? So, I have a record for the rest of my life because some pompous ass of a cop had to get his jollys off on a saturday night!! I HATE cops! I will not speak to them. I do not find comfort in the killings I hear about. But I do not mourn either. The hate festers inside thru the years. I TOTALLY understand where the black community is coming from. I do pray for healing though. But that is a long, long road to cover!! The nonsense HAS to end first! Then and ONLY then can the healing begin.
A wonderful perspective piece. I have a small insight about Harvard in Massachusetts, however. I have met two physicians from Howard University over my career; one black and one white. They both had a peculiar pronunciation of the name of their alma mater. I had to clarify, “Are you saying Harvard or Howard?” Your experience may have been due a racist expectation. It may have been due to what seems to be a peculiar pronunciation of “Howard” by its graduates.
I grew up in a rural, small state with a very small African American population. I learned all about the 1960’s and the fight for equal rights with Dr. King in school. I was happy that African Americans were afforded equal rights, or so I thought. Then came the era of talk shows, and I listened in horror when Oprah or Sally Jessy Raphael or other such talk show hosts would have people on explaining their day-to-day experiences with racism. I saw Dateline exposes about how African American people would be followed around stores because of their skin color or being quoted a higher price on a car when just an hour ago the price was lower for a white person. I have belonged to boards where online friends would recount their experiences, one being a female who wanted to see an apartment for rent, had a wonderful conversation on the phone with the renter and set up an appointment to see it. When she arrived to the showing, the woman saw she was African American and her attitude completely changed and told her that the apartment had been rented shortly before. I haven’t doubted any of these things, I haven’t tried to excuse the white person’s reasoning, thinking maybe they were this or that. I know in my heart that these things happen, and it’s despicable. Because of where I live, I don’t have a lot of opportunity to attend protests or happenings where I can denounce racism, but I did make it my vow that I would speak up whenever I heard others speak in a racist way, tell “black” jokes, use the N-word, etc, and I have done that. Hopefully I have made at least some think differently, others I know I haven’t changed their thinking at all. I’ve raised my children from a very early age explaining racism and how we should speak out against it whenever we see it or hear it – they’ve both done speeches and debates on race issues in school. White privilege was a new term to me until recently and it makes so much sense. I don’t understand how any white person can deny its existence. I thank you for relating your experiences, and I hope your friend “gets it.”
I must admit , as an attractive white female , I have been harassed by other females of color in the work place . They assumed I was a privileged white princess and set out to take me down a rung or two ! I have been physically attacked and threatened in a hospital work environment because of these racist assumptions . Believe me – racism is alive and well on both sides of the coin !
Very logical and clear comments for those who want to listen. You make a very valid point. We at eraseraces.com want to join with like-minded people. Consider us.
In the past few years I have learned a bit about white privilege. My church includes a few black and hispanic teenage girls, and walking with them in downtown Santa Cruz and other places showed me how differently girls of color experience public space. As a woman, I am always aware that I am vulnerable to harassment or even physical danger in public, and I must be careful of where I go and my body language. But walking with these girls of color, I experienced how they were treated by the world in general. They got less personal space from strangers than I ever had – even as a teenager – more stares, more intrusive looks, more shouted comments from a stranger across the street. One of the teens had asked me to walk with her because she had recently been followed by an unknown man, and she was worried. I thought the idea of me as a protector was theoretical at best – I’m riddled with chronic pain. But I discovered on that walk that I was protecting her. I could literally feel the cone of personal space I was given as a middle aged middle class white lady that this minority teen would not receive if she were alone.
That is white privilege. I was never aware of it before.
The white people who deny or disbelieve that White Privilege exists are simply proving that it does. The whole thing about white privilege is that it is invisible to white people (unless they make an effort to discover it) because part of the privilege is not having to see it or deal with it. As a white woman I have worked to become aware of my privilege in America, and it is a constant work in progress. Whiteness isn’t something that white people have to think about, feel, or wear around the same as Blackness or being any person of color, because whiteness is the standard for power and social belonging in America. I consider simple parts of my life such as being able to shop in a store without being followed by a suspicious clerk, or being able to drive home from work at night without fear of being pulled over and possibly beaten or shot, as basic examples of my white privilege (although as a woman of course I have to consider my safety, but as the author noted that is another part of the story).
This really hits home for me. I like to remind people… I was born a white man, in the 20th century, in America. You can’t get much luckier than that. I’m a high school dropout and a total screw up, and my life is still more comfortable than any King who lived 200 years ago.
From childhood, dad made sure I was very aware and grateful of my white privilege – over blacks and hispanics – but also over other whites.
I’ll never forget how our family migrated daily between our seperate worlds – knowing we lived in a different America from the poor working class who washed at dad’s laundramats.
Yes, white privilege runs that deep over all poor working class people. You don’t hear much about the 30% white privilege over the 70% of other poor whites who desperately live in the gap between white and brown… and make up the largest percentage of welfare recipients.
Dad came from extreme poverty, was a minister before I was born, and a Canadian who could not accept Southern Racism… so growing up in 1960’s Houston, we all drank from the colored water fountain… and treated every man as worthy based on his character.
But we lived in a different America from those poor people who we made our living providing service for… and we were constantly reminded of the need to protect ourselves and never let them see just how much wealth we really have.
My dad grew up desperately poor, in a house made of sod, on the Alberta prairie – came to Texas after WWII, where he put himself through college by building a laundramat across from campus.
He built five laundramats in Houston in the ’60s – three in the very poor black Ward districts and two in very poor white areas. We lived in the newest middle class neighborhood far from them… in our segregated world, safe from the predators and the evil that men do.
The differences between wealth and success versus struggling poor working class are too many to list here… but I remember DOZENS of times I realized I had an advantage they would never have, that offers me opportunities they will never get to exploit.
Lori, thank you for sharing your experiences with us. They were painful to read and repeatedly gave me chills for you and for the black community. I can only imagine how hard it was to walk back through each experience. I hope that your friend reads these and comes to a new understanding of his white privilege. I will share it on my facebook feed and hopefully you will help touch and teach them and their friends and their friends and so on. I hope that knowing you are helping to educate us will bring you some small comfort. I also hope that you remain undaunted by the trolls and their ignorant responses to this post. I think many of us whites, especially white men, can’t admit that we have unearned power. Thank you for your courage. Thank you for your blog GBN. I wish you all the best.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. “We” white people often just don’t realise and/or see how our, in our mind harmless, words and actions come across. How “normal” we think they are and how we take things for granted that are not so normal for our brothers and sisters that happen to have another skin color then we have.
As I said before and will keep repeating to everyone, we can only change if we are willing to acknowledge the flaws within ourselves. If we have the courage to see our own racist moments and thoughts, when we are brave enough to detect our moments of white privilige. Only then we will be able to change and work together to eradicate it from all our lives.
Harvard… that is something to be proud of regardles who you are and with posts like this you are a shining star among your fellow Harvardians (probably not the correct word but then.. I did not go to any universaty, let alone such a significant one)
I will never be “black” but I will fight to the dead for equality and respect for all my brothers and sisters regardless of how they might look, where they come from or whom they love.
I translated my thoughts from Dutch, I often are fairly accurate with that but when it comes to matters of heart and sould I also can be a bit unsure if I translated them correctly so if I said anything stupid or if anything might have come over as “ignorant” I apologize .
p.s Can I ask you a question as well. I have been “attacked” as ignorant several times because I used things like “colored” when talking about non white people, however the same happend when I used ‘negro” for just black people… in fact using black people yielded the same results. What is the proper way to denote those of another skintone (besides of course humans) especially when it is about more than just those with African heritage. It is kinda hard to be supportive of (for example) the BLM movement if those same people you want to support are pushing you away because of not knowing what the proper way to talk about things is if you know what I mean 🙂
Will be rebloging this as well
Reblogged this on Mavadelo's mindscape and commented:
Very well written, learn about white privilige and how it is perceived from within the non white community. Learn from it and act accordingly. Ban racism, eradicate white privilidge, work towards one human race living together as brothers and sisters
This piece is a tour de force. Well done Ms. Murray for putting yourself out there with an aplomb that only underscores the insidiousness of racism and its corollary white privilege. To paraphrase another black woman, Serena Williams, who along with her sister Venus have both endured untold bile and vitriol because they dared to excel in a field that had hitherto been dominated by white women, your piece has “risen” above the often-times smarminess and condescension, frankly patronizing and dismissive tone of those who have not walked in y/our shoes. Again, well done and God bless:-)
Every injustice suffered by a black person is not necessarily because of the color of their skin. Sometimes it’s just because you are a human being. Everybody gets picked on in life. Everyone gets put down in life. Everyone has their accomplishments belittled by others at some point in their life. It does not make it a racial issue just because the victim of the injustice happens to be black and the perpetrator, white. It trivializes the true racial prejudices out there when you blame every insult that’s ever been cast your way on the fact that you are black.
Thank you for helping to provide more data on a topic that is often only alluded to without specifics.
Your descriptions seem to fall into two (potentially overlapping) categories of questions or remarks or acts:
– insensitive, but perhaps intended to be friendly
– mean and intentional
As an example of the first, those who are not white and live in white communities can experience frequent questions of “Where are you from?” (despite having lived their entire life in the community). While the questioner has often made one or more wrong assumptions, they are sometimes also simultaneously asking about ethnicity. Answering “here” will sometimes result in an embarrassed attempt to clarify the question, digging the questioner into a deeper hole as they ask a more personal/invasive question. I have caught myself tempted to ask the same question at times, as asking a tourist the question is a friendly conversation-starter, while asking a local can be awkward or offensive.
As an example of the second, I grew up abroad returning to this country in middle school. I was hazed over several years by a few bullies at a private school because of my clothing, gaps in my vocabulary, etc. While I got along fine with peers in foreign countries, being different in any way in the USA led to aggressive hazing that teachers and friends never witnessed. It was not a pleasant time. It must have been far worse for classmates that were not white.
There is another factor at work as well, but I am unsure of how to label it. I too went to Harvard, and quickly learned that it was easier to avoid telling people where I was going to college. Some would ask “is that in New York”, others would call me an “East Coast College Kid” implying I thought I was better than everyone else, and I generally found it hard to persuade people that I could indeed tie my own shoes, brush my own teeth, etc. There is a strong under-current of anti-elitism in this country, sometimes for valid reasons.
The only solution I perceive to the first problem above is education – for all ages. We all constantly make assumptions based on our experiences by location. My own experiences growing up abroad have not always prevented me from asking insensitive questions in the community where I now live – because my experiences here have differed considerably from my experiences abroad. We need newspaper, television, and blog stories highlighting both the history of our communities and what is new in our communities. We need events that bring newer and longer-standing members of the community together to build a new set of shared experiences, out of which a new, more informed, and more understanding community can grow.
I don’t know if there is “a solution” for the second problem. The temptation to bully or haze seems an immutable element of the human mind. That said, if we do not tolerate bullies and:
– somehow educate everyone better about “differences”: each of us is different from all others. If we want our own differences to be accepted, we have to accept others’ differences too.
– call out the words or actions of bullies when we witness them
– defend and support victims promptly
maybe we can begin to reduce the number of hurtful (or worse) incidents that occur daily.
But there is another elephant in the room. Miscommunication can and does occur frequently among people. A witness to words or a deed can misconstrue them (either positively or negatively). While a bully may claim miscommunication to defend/deflect, people are also falsely accused at times. Their accusers may seek leverage or to cause harm. Distinguishing between false accusations (which are probably a small percentage of cases) and valid ones can be difficult, but is also important. How do we avoid assuming that all accusations are true without hurting a victim further? I don’t have any answers to that one.
I would add to this list “If you ever felt entitled to ask POC friends to explain and justify the existence of white privilege to you, YOU HAVE WHITE PRIVILEDGE.” You handled this with grace and dignity, but “Jason” could have learned all this himself with a simple Google search. White people – we need to take responsibility to educate ourselves and not put the burden on POC to relive all the racism and oppression they face every day due to yet another micro aggression of us asking them to “explain” something to us. There is the internet now, Google your shit.
Thank you for your great-hearted courage and your gracious reply.
This was an incredible read. So much of it I have experienced (not the Harvard stuff, though). It’s almost impossible to explain to people who have no idea what it feels like to be the “other” in a situation. This does the best job yet.
Please tell me how “white privilige” protected me from a decade of constant bullying and harassment when my family moved into the same sort of neighborhood as yours did. I need a good laugh.
Being different is a capital crime in some circles. It doesn’t matter what that difference is. “Looking Jewish”, even if you aren’t a Jew, is just as unacceptable to some people as being black. Have a disability? You might as well be a leper. Being smarter than your peers is grounds for ostracizsm if you aren’t socially astute enough to hide it.
You are so completely convinced that race is the cause of your difficulties that you completely ignore alternative explanations for the discrimination you face.
Gosh, I don’t believe the point was that it is the only kind of privilege – anyone who’s grown up female (or gay, or disabled, or Jewish…) knows that.
Dear Lori,
First of all, cool name and most excellent spelling.
Second, thank you for your patient and generous spirit in helping your friend (and others) understand what white privilege really means. I believe that your friend, like many white people, feel it means that they need to take (personal) responsibility for all of the oppression and discrimination against those who are POC, but instead, they need to realize that they benefit from a system that they are unaware of that automatically gifts them with a life that others do not have. This is what I am trying to do in my classes at a (nearly) all white public high school. These students are loathe to concede to their privilege because of the feelings of guilt they might have (they are teenagers, after all; everything and nothing is their fault). I will be using your response to your friend as part of my teaching to help them understand that so much of what we as European Americans take for granted is not what those who are advocating for the recognition and respect of all people have on a daily basis.
Thank you for your erudite and helpful words.
Sincerely,
another Lori
Lori, thank you so much for taking the time for your friend, for helping him understand, and for intentionally reliving these hurtful, hateful experiences. I could tell as you related them how painful they still are for you.
Thank you, as well, for taking the initiative to start the webpage goodblacknews.org. We _need_ good news, especially in this day, time and location. I appreciate you and your kindness so much. @chaplaineliza
I hope somehow that this piece lands in the hands of our President and First Lady, as I am sure your words would resonate with them! It never fails to amaze me how disrespectful some people are toward the first couple at a level that would never be tolerated against a white first family. But I digress, as you did not write this a political piece.
I identify as a liberal and try to do my best to be respectful to others, but reading your piece and the online responses brings up times in my memory when I have said or done something inadvertently (which I realized in retrospect) was not respectful. Habits take time and effort to change. Thank you for sharing your experiences and your pain. When we know better, we do better. You are an excellent teacher and writer.
Wow. The one that really got me was the one about Harvard. “You mean the one in Massachusetts?” Just, wow! I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around the idea that anybody could actually say that.
Getting stopped: My last full-time job I had a black co-worker. He used to work for our largest customer, who had an office in Brea (Orange County). Now he worked in LA and things were better, but his job still required him to visit that customer from time to time. And any time he did, he could count on being stopped at least once. DWB. And I was thinking, “How can this be happening in 2008?”
During the 1992 South Central riots we had a friend, also black, with a nice middle-class job (operator for a computer “mainframe”). We had a get-together (daytime, to avoid the curfew). Everybody else drove themselves to our house. I had to go pick him up in my car: if he’d tried driving himself, he’d almost certainly have been stopped.
I’m going to mention something you didn’t. I was at a conference, talking to somebody (also white) who I’ve known for many years. The subject of “white privilege” came up, and he mentioned that he’d recently indulged in some white privilege: he’d been applying some sort of insulating/sunblock film to his windows, and the instructions include warming it up with a blowdryer to make it stick to the window glass. And there he was, using this (vaguely gun shaped) blowdryer in his condo, where the cops would occasionally drive through the development.
He guessed that if he were black, he would have been nervous about doing that, lest a cop see him and assume he was holding a gun. And I suspect he was right.
*Sigh*
[…] mortified to discover that they were racists. Even though my parents had good intentions there is institutional racism that they were not in control of. You see, that is the issue with institutional […]
**Small note at the bottom if you do not want to read all of this**
“The point here is If you’ve NEVER had a defining moment in your childhood or your life, where you realize your skin color alone makes other people hate you, you have white privilege.”
– So there are no people of color who hate white people because of their color? A good example is when I was told to go home and watch black and white TV with my Ma and Pa in the trailer park by a hispanic superior (and no i have never lived in a trailer park, he was just trying make fun of white trash).
“The point here is if you’ve never been ‘the only one’ of your race in a class, at a party, on a job, etc. and/or it’s been pointed out in a “playful” fashion by the authority figure in said situation – you have white privilege.”
– Just only that one time I worked in a company as the only white male in construction. Pinche Whetto (with laughter) was a common nickname for myself.
“The point here is if no one has ever questioned your intellectual capabilities or attendance at an elite institution based solely on your skin color, that is white privilege.”
– I work in a field where my work experience placed me into a position working with Doctorates, Masters, and Bachelors degrees. I was recently told by a woman of color who holds higher education than I that my opinion did not matter because even though I hold 10+ years of experience anyone with a degree and in their first year of work knew more than I could ever.
“So if you have never experienced or considered how damaging it is/was/could be to grow up without myriad role models and images in school that reflect you in your required reading material or in the mainstream media – that is white privilege. ”
– A role model is a person whose behavior, example, or success is or can be emulated by others, especially by younger people. This is not defined by anyone but the person that chooses them to be one.
– If everyone is supposed to be unique how is everyone supposed to be supported by a role model?
Role models are usually famous athletes or actors (Both of which host a myriad of races and genders).
“The point here is, if you’ve never been blindsided when you are just trying to enjoy a meal by a well-paid faculty member’s patronizing and racist assumptions about how grateful black people must feel to be in their presence – you have white privilege.”
– I have never been invited to a party or dinner like this. I guess it is only held by persons who can afford go to elite schools and be accepted due to their higher level of intelligence.
In the end this is a list of situations by a black female who was able to attend a very prestigious school and after held well paying jobs in the entertainment industry. How is this supposed to relate to anyone who is not in the same privileged position as herself? I would say that most poor persons have not experienced any of these situations because they have never even been into a nice neighborhood, attended fancy elite parties, or even worked in a job where input from workers is even heard by a manager.
clearthinker & Meier:
You’ve both just spent pages & pages proving her point… You just don’t get it.
http://www.rawstory.com/2015/09/study-white-people-react-to-evidence-of-white-privilege-by-claiming-greater-personal-hardships/
I can understand. I also understand what the author has to say. I’ve been the only White person in certain situations especially as an adult and have experienced many of the same remarks from Blacks as she did by Whites. Neither are okay. I say this to point out that we are all capable of the same ugly behaviors and attitudes.
It is a given that in any society, some people have more opportunities and more benefits than others have in that society. Some people have the benefit of wealth and don’t have to work as hard as others. Some people have the benefit of not having wealth which enables them to learn how to work harder than others. Some people are athletically inclined in a society that values athletes. Some people are academically inclined in a society that values intellect. In some societies, people are given special notoriety because of their long necks, while in other societies, people with great height are seen as special. I could go on and on, but my point is this: every society gives “privilege” to different people for different reasons.
As for the suggestion by the writer that racial prejudice or “white privilege” were at play in the incidents which she relates, I would suggest that the writer felt a sensitivity, for whatever reason, that made her see those events through the prism of “white privilege.”
1. When I was a young lad, I wrote my initials in my Finnish neighbor’s new cement and threw snowballs at my Italian neighbor’s front door–I was a silly kid whose behavior did not reflect any privilege.
2. As a college basketball player on a mostly black team, Though I am white,I was often called “nigger” by my black teammates. I knew what the word meant, but I did not take it as an insult. I was also often told that I did not play the game like a “white boy.” I did not see that as “black privilege.”
3. In college, I would go to dances hosted by a black fraternity or group, and I would be the only white person there. People would comment on my “honky-style” dancing. “Black privilege”? I did not think so. I was also the best man in a black person’s wedding where I felt daggers being cast in my direction by some of the attendees. “Black privilege”? I did not see it as such.
4. When my daughter received an acceptance letter to a prestigious private university whose entrance requirements she really did not meet, was it because of “white privilege”? No. It was because the college was looking for a student body that was diverse in its talents and skills, and she had demonstrated that she was a superior dancer and that she was a wonderful friend to those who needed an interested ear.
5. When I was a coach, I was told by one of my basketball players that he was going to Cornell. I asked, “You mean the one in New York?” He answered, “NO, Cornell College in Iowa” Was I showing “reverse white privilege” by thinking that he was an Ivy League-quality student?
6. As a literature teacher, I had students tell me that they could not get through “The Red Badge of Courage” because they could not relate to war or to events that occurred so long ago. Is that “war privilege” or “chronology privilege”? By the way, there were no complaints about A Raisin in the Sun.”
7. As a high school coach, I often took my players to universities to compete in summer games. When introducing the guys to college coaches of all backgrounds, I often used the exact words used by that “patronizing” “Master” at your school: These are our best and brightest. I was not demonstrating “white privilege.” I was just remarking how proud I was of those kids.
8. As a teacher-coach, I disagreed with the perspectives and leadership qualities of the superintendent of the school district. I also, through our infrequent conversations, had demonstrated to him that I leaned toward a moderate-conservative end of the political system, while he was highly liberal. He was arrogant and a bully. He did not like my approach to my job and dismissed my efforts as “old school.” He and I were of the same racial group. He had “employer privilege,” not white privilege.
9. I was looking at sports cars in a dealership one day. The car salesman mentioned to me that people were shying away from buying red sports cars because they tended to draw the attention of law enforcement much more. Re sports car drivers were “profiled” as being inclined to drive fast. That does not appear to be a “white privilege” issue. More of an anti-red-car-driver issue.
10. As for what people write or the political signs that people place on their lawns, or the bumper stickers that they put on their cars, or the opinions that people express–I think that it is safe to say that the “white privilege” narrative has silenced many a fair-minded person from saying anything at all that can be viewed through the lens of “white privilege” proponents as being further proof of the stereotype. The stereotype of “white privilege” has become an albatross around the necks of fair-minded people who just want to get along with others.
We are ALL born with gifts, with advantages, with privileges; what matters is how we use them. i was born a white Irish-Austrian Catholic male with big ears, a long neck, a big nose, scoliosis, and loose joints. I was always the shortest in my class, the fourth of five kids with parents who only has high school degrees. I worked my BUTT off to be successful in a world where I was not the most attractive, not the smartest, not the most gifted. I find myself resisting the notion that I succeeded because of “white privilege.”
This would be *precisely* the type of excuse and denial I mentioned in my comment when I talked about “the only thing worse”
Soren, it might be possible, just might be possible, that it is your denial that is making things worse. I am not sure what makes you the judge and jury who decide that people who disagree with you are in denial. Maybe it is your blind intransigence that perpetuates this divisive perspective.
I am neither interested nor in a position to help you with your inability to understand (if you can’t get it from all that is written here, you simply don’t have the faculties to do so). I will quote you, though, when illustrating examples of “the problem.” So thank you for making that job easier.
This is not my blog, nor my thread, and I do not wish to hijack it, so my part of this conversation is done.
Soren, I welcome your sharing my anecdotes and my analysis with others. Those who are not already blinded by an agenda will see that my examples show that there is privilege in all sectors of life. Your failure to address the truth of the various privileges to which I have alluded shows that you have closed your mind to a narrative that does not fit your prism–a very unfortunate and sad position for you to occupy. I, too, will share with others that I communicated online with a person whose inability and/
or unwillingness to articulate a response to my real-life examples of pervasive privilege was obvious. It will be food for thought for clear-thinking people and show how much of a “problem” a false narrative creates for those of us who wish to unify rather than divide our nation.
Everyone has experienced ” – – – – – – Privilege” somehow. I am a white woman. I have had a weight problem since I was born and all the diets, excercise programs, weightwatchers classes, diet pills etc have not changed this. Some people just are heavy people. You can take this editorial and change the words from Black to overweight, and Nigger to Fat Ass and it is the same story, but I got it from EVERY RACE. There is a thing called “Thin Privilege” too, and that includes the black community.. The best clothes, the best seats, the good jobs, admiration, not the brunt of all the jokes etc, etc. I am not minimizing the issue here at all, I KNOW the pain of discrimination. BUT, the next time you laugh at a fat joke, or see the chubby guy/girl on TV being made fun of, or look at someone who is carrying extra pounds with your nose turned up, realize that you are acting Just the same as those who persecuted YOU! So maybe think to yourself ” This is DISCRIMINATION and I am a bigot.”.
Dear “Clearthinker:”
My surmise, having read your response to the notion of “white privilege” offered here, is that you, as an individual, are intellectually “glued” to your personal sense of fairness. And for this, I would offer my most sincere brand of kudos. But your open willingness to personalize your experience actually represents a glaring “dovetailling” of your personal experience into an arena of collective dynamics, where to truly understand the dynamics occurring here, it cannot belong. I could offer that my sashay from my undergraduate work at “Illinois” to entry into the doctoral program at Northwestern University, was due to my hearty efforts. But that would not explain my later having learned that my fellow classmates had been warned of the “Black radical”, soon due to march the streets of Evanston. It did not matter that I’d worked fifty-two hours per week, carried a double load and completed two years in one with all “A’s”. Neither did it matter that at my second doctoral program, I got assigned the department drunk, who as it turned out, was ushered upstairs from our department classrooms, to graduate student housing when he was drunk and would “sleep it off.”. I for my troubles, walked in Cambridge from undergraduate housing (where for the first two weeks of my tenure, I was required to live in and move from daily, guest housing) to class in the snow, all the while being tutored by a professor whose guiding academic presence was not “Machiavelli”, but “Jim Beam”. It may not be instructive to you that my white playmate at the age of five, once implored me to come outside with her and play because, “there’s nobody out here to play with but the Niggers.” Whew…lucky I escaped that one. We might have married.
What you fail to see is that what for you can be chalked up to personal dynamics, changes form, (like light altering from its being waveular to its being particulate,) because of an unseen and unappreciated dynamic. African-Americans do not reside in America within a construct where they may willfully and capriciously impact the livelihoods, the life paths and patterns of whites. The obverse is not true. We need to look no further in history than the “Scottsborough Boys” to cement this understanding.
This imbalance is at the core of racism…this ability to have someone else’s cultural influence to impact you differentially than yours impacts them. It is subtle, while at the same time being monumental. And for your response to have been chronicled as so much the same, but viewed so differently by you, is at the heart of the matter.
Your comments would be that of a six foot six tennis player suggesting that your five foot three inch female opponent is (excuse the mixed metaphor) on the same “playing field”. You both have racquets. You’re using the same balls. So what’s the difference?
Though unintended, I am sure, your comments can be easily interpreted by others to suggest that the differences dilineared here are, if not “fluff,” then either miniscule or misguided. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Renee Descartes said it well when offering that, “I 5hink therefore I am.” Indeed, our new appreciation of “String Theory”, and the probability of a computer projected universe only has that sense of “consciousness” as the chewing gum…the epoxy holding that notion together, as we ferret out what we can. I would thus share with you, that when a person of color or a woman “senses” the apartheid state that is white or male privilege, it is because it does glaringly exist.
And the sooner you come to appreciate that nuance of difference will be when we begin to bridge that gap that, down the line, leads from “what’s the difference”, to the unfathomable that surfaces as the violence of this nation, bathed in racism.
I am sorry that I posted before my entire comment was finalized. So…here it is:
It is a given that in any society, some people have more opportunities and more benefits than others have in that society. Some people have the benefit of wealth and don’t have to work as hard as others. Some people have the benefit of not having wealth which enables them to learn how to work harder than others. Some have the benefit of not having a dad, so the young male can learn how to be a leader and a strong person at an early age. Some people are athletically inclined in a society that values athletes. Some people are academically inclined in a society that values intellect. In some societies, people are given special notoriety because of their long necks, while in other societies, people with great height are seen as special. I could go on and on, but my point is this: every society gives “privilege” to different people for different reasons.
As for the suggestion by the writer that racial prejudice or “white privilege” was at play in the incidents which she relates, I would suggest that the writer felt a sensitivity, for whatever reason, that made her see those events through the prism of “white privilege”; that prism skewed her judgment and her perspective.
Let me relate ten anecdotes in my life similar to those recounted by the writer:
1. As related to the writer’s pool incident—When I was a young lad, I wrote my initials in my Finnish neighbor’s new cement (the only Finn in the neighborhood)and threw snowballs at my Italian neighbor’s front door (the only Italian in the nieghborhood—Those were the actions of a silly kid; those were not the actions of someone who felt or demonstrated “white privilege” against those of different ethnicities from mine.
2. As a college basketball player on a mostly black team, though I am white, I was often called “nigger” by my black teammates. I knew what the word meant, but I did not take it as an insult. I was also often told that I did not play the game like a “white boy.” I did not see that as “black privilege.”
3. In college, I would go to dances hosted by a black fraternity or group, and I would be the only white person there. People would comment on my “honky-style” dancing. “Black privilege”? I did not think so. I was also the best man in a black person’s wedding where I felt daggers being cast in my direction by some of the attendees. “Black privilege”? I did not see it as such.
4. When my daughter received an acceptance letter to a prestigious private university whose entrance requirements she really did not meet, was it because of “white privilege”? No. It was because the college was looking for a student body that was diverse in its talents and skills, and she had demonstrated that she was a superior dancer and that she was a wonderful friend to those who needed an interested ear. She could make the university a better place.
5. When I was a coach, I was told by one of my basketball players that he was matriculating to Cornell for his university studies. I asked, “You mean the one in New York?” He answered, “No, Cornell College in Iowa” Was I showing “reverse white privilege” by thinking that he was an Ivy League-quality student? Whereas i did not know that there were two Cornells, perhaps the people in the writer’s story thought that there were two or more Harvards? Or, perhaps they just wanted to show their worldliness by suggesting that they knew where Harvard was.
6. As a literature teacher, I had students tell me that they could not get through The Red Badge of Courage because they could not relate to war or to events that occurred so long ago. Is that “war privilege” or “chronology privilege”? By the way, there were no complaints about A Raisin in the Sun.
7. As a high school coach, I often took my players to universities to compete in summer games. When introducing the guys to college coaches of all backgrounds, I often used the exact words used by that “patronizing” “Master” at the writer’s school: “These are our best and brightest,” I said. I was not demonstrating “white privilege.” I was just remarking how proud I was of those kids.
8. As a teacher-coach, I disagreed with the perspectives and leadership qualities of the superintendent of the school district. I also, through our infrequent conversations, had demonstrated to him that I leaned toward a moderate-conservative end of the political system, while he was ultra liberal. He was arrogant and a bully. He did not like my approach to my job and dismissed my efforts as “old school.” He and I were of the same racial group. He had “employer privilege,” not white privilege, when he fired me.
9. I was looking at sports cars in a dealership one day. The car salesman mentioned to me that people were shying away from buying red sports cars because they tended to draw the attention of law enforcement much more. Red sports car drivers were “profiled” as being inclined to drive fast. That does not appear to be a “white privilege” issue. More of an anti-red-car-driver issue.
10. As for what people write or the political signs that people place on their lawns, or the bumper stickers that they put on their cars, or the opinions that people express–I think that it is safe to say that the “white privilege” narrative has silenced many a fair-minded person from saying anything at all that can be viewed through the lens of “white privilege” proponents as being further proof of the stereotype. The stereotype of “white privilege” has become an albatross around the necks of fair-minded people who just want to get along with others. And it has become anathema to a free society that values the free exchange of ideas.
A few other items: Was it “black privilege” when a black person with whom I was working on a project told me that he does not ride horses because “that is what white folks do”? Was it “black privilege” when coaching friends of mine mentioned how much anxiety they feel when they have to go recruit in black areas? Was it “black privilege” when my best friend, a black man, was hired as a CPA at one of the major accounting firms in the country and later at IBM? Or was it because he was qualified? Was it “black privilege” when that same friend, as the supervisor of finance for one of the country’s major public school districts, was told that he could not hire an ultra-accomplished Jewish accountant for the district because he was not black? Was it “black privilege” when Obama appointed two black attorneys-general when there were certainly many qualified non-black lawyers and judges whom he could have appointed? If I and others were to be looking through the lens, the prism, of “black privilege,” all day could be spent giving examples of the phenomenon. I prefer to see people, and maybe even judge people, by how much excellence they demonstrate in their performance in the tasks which they undertake, and by how much goodness they show toward their fellow man.
We are ALL born with gifts, with advantages, with privileges; what matters is how we use them. i was born a white Irish-Austrian Catholic male with big ears, a long neck, a big nose, scoliosis, and loose joints. I was always the shortest in my class, the fourth of five kids with parents who only had high school degrees. I worked my BUTT off to be successful in a world where I was not the most attractive, not the smartest, not the most gifted. I find myself resisting the notion that I succeeded because of “white privilege.” I suggest that this writer do the same, relinquish the cloak of victimhood, keep the nose to the grindstone, and do good things for people. That is a recipe that will bring both personal satisfaction and success—not necessarily immediately or easily, but eventually—and that is a recipe that will make of this writer a role model for others to achieve success as well.
Advice – if you want anyone to read what you write, keep it short.
It’s weird. I want to reply to the original post itself, but I couldn’t find an option to do so. I could only find an option to reply to a reply.
That said, thank you for having this blog in the first place. I think it’s important to point out the good news. The bad is covered quite well.
It sickens me that you’ve had to deal with these types of experiences. It is hard for me to understand what life is like from your perspective. I have had the experience of being hated and judged only because of my skin color, but the rest of it, I can only imagine what that must have felt like.
My cousin called her mother from college crying the other day. She says she feels so guilty for her white privilege. That she doesn’t even know how she has a right to be alive. That sickens me too.
I can only teach my own children as best as I can to love their neighbor, & to never judge anyone on shallow, superficial reasons, or lump large groups of people together as the same based on some arbitrary thing they have in common, & hope and pray that enough other parents are doing the same. The only effective weapon against hate is love.
Go to the first page of the oldest comments and then scroll down to the end of the article where is says leave comment.
I believe you saw ALL THE errors in your post, hence your edit of some points. I may not be as intellectually verse as you sir, but I can see without effort, that you sir, have entirely missed the points that the writer attempted to clairfy. Your rationalizing of “perhaps the people back then we’re trying to show their worldliness” is just weak, futile & downright sad. Perhaps the reason you were given an easy time throughout your life was because your awkward appearance was already enough torture to live with (now tell me how that makes you feel) Trying to make a comparison between being judged as as race car driver and being judged as a thief or a drug dealer is in my opinion, the kind of prejudice that makes even the dead cringe. Race car drivers are some of the most esteemed, revered professionals so while being pulled over and possibly slapped with a speeding ticket may be a bother, it pales in comparison to being profiled and treated like a darn criminal.
Instead of attempting to discount the writers experiences which clearly show that she & her family were indeed treated and profiled unfairly because of their race, just try to see that trying to elevate yourself while being Black not only causes a “sensitivity” is no way, shape or form, easy feat. This may be an arduous task for you but… just… try.
“clearthinker” indeed. You’re attempting to sound well thought out, articulate, and well mannered but the hostility and lack of education in this matter is astoundingly obvious. You’re not resisting the notion that you succeeded because of white privilege. You’re resisting the notion that black people succeed IN SPITE OF white privilege. You sir should think about the fact that with each of your attempted counterpoints you were actually attempting to silence the writer with the arrogance of your assumed white authority.
I can appreciate the fact that even though I’m a white woman who has disabilities, three daughters (omg, no sons how dare I), one of my daughters being disabled; in spite of being lesser and other because of gender and disability, I’m afforded more privileges than my black neighbors.
Due to that fact, I think it’s time I bow out of the comments and stay out because my voice ought not drown out the voices of Black Americans. It’s time to listen and acknowledge, and then when that happens, we can know better. If we know better, we do better.
I’m sorry I hijacked your comments.
Oh my gosh, as a white person, with black friends, this was so well written that I feel like an idiot now. I never realized what white privilege was actually about. I like folks because of their personalities, and honestly raised my children to encompass all races and religions without bias. I lived in Tallahassee, Florida and New Orleans, Louisiana, where some of the restroom’s still had segregated bathrooms marked for blacks and whites. I was really uncomfortable with that, but it hit me that this was a for “real issue.” I was raised going to 12 yeas of Catholic schools, where there was only one black gal, in my entire grade. She went on to become an RN, and I ran into her, while she was working at UCLA! She was distant and rather cold, with good reason in retrospect. I didn’t hang out with her, at school, but then again, I didn’t hang out with anyone at the school because clicks had already been formed. I have only attended one of my class reunions, and I left early. No one talked to me, I don’t think they even knew who I was. I don’t think she attended any of them either. I simply haven’t been able to wrap my mind around this issue. I am guilty of having taken my “white privilege” for granted! I’m now 70 years old and have learned a valuable lesson. Thank you for enlightening me.
And the white male completely glosses over the entire article he just read. Classic.
I agree.
It made me think of some of the “zingers” I/my family unknowingly or unintentionally got for being Jewish over the years.
Yes, blacks are easier to target because of their skin color, but when you’re in white minority you blend in plain sight.
I don’t think it’s “white privilege” as much as it is blinding ignorance.
Has anyone ever leaned over to you and said, “If you Jew them down, you’ll get a better deal.”? If you’re not Jewish you might even miss it. But it you are, it’s like somebody used a bull horn in your face.
At the University of Alabama I had black students look at me and say, “You don’t look Jewish.”
As a young student teacher in KISD I had to show the school substitute coordinator where on the calendar it showed the dates for Rosh Hashanna and Yom Kippur, and explain to her that it was an excused absence.
As a teenager, people in high school didn’t tease me because I had a car, they said I had a car because my rich, Jewish daddy bought it for me. Notice I used the word “tease”. They didn’t harass me, they just made me feel like I had to defend myself. “Hello! We live in the same neighborhood and you have a car too.”
Thank you for sharing your experience. As a white middle-class woman I experience daily the privilege of simply being born the preferred color. In addition to the blatant racism endured by all people of color, the institutionalized racism in our schools, work places, judicial system, and organizations meant as safety nets for our most vulnerable goes unchecked and grows like a virus. Intitutionalized bias is white privilege. In one study of social workers, cases were tracked for a year and casewokers were interviewed weekly. Consistently white women who showed up late for appointments were forgiven and squeezed in to the busy schesule. Theie children were often present in their sessions, their problems were noted to be circumstantial. The black women who relied on the same unreliable bus system to get to their appointments, had the same problems finding child care, who suffered the same situational difficulties as their white sisters were told that it was their responsibility to get there on time and turned away when late, told to plan better for child care and to take more personal responsibility for their circumstances. It goes on… black children being suspended from school for the same infractions that get their white peers after-school detention … black adicts being imprisoned while their white peers receive compassion and treatment . Institutionalized bias is white privilege. We are all guilty of judging the poor black woman buying a pack of cigarettes — never stopping to realize that they are her only respite. She has no weekend to look forward to, no anticipation of a family holiday to lighten her load, no outlets for her fear, anger and sadness. Yet we say she is irresponsible for spending a few dollars on the one thing that soothes her and helps her feel, for a moment, just a little of the relief from her burden that the rest of us get in so many unseen ways every day. I’m just sad and disappointed that we aren’t more awake and aware and that so many who enjoy the privilege I do are loathe to even look at it.
Let me introduce myself, I am a 57 year old white male with English ancestry and a shaved head. My formal education stopped around 19 credits in a Community College. A teacher in 8th grade asked what do you picture in your mind when i say the Name of a student in the school. The first thing that came to my mind was football player. Of course many of my fellow classmates pointed out that he was black to which the teacher said something to the effect of this… the fact that you differentiate this student by color is the essence of racism. That lesson has never left me.
Another fact is that I am left handed. Now I know many of you will say that is nothing in comparison to the suppression of the black race. Of course if you are left handed you might have a different opinion or maybe not. But the fact remains i grew up learning to use scissors with my right hand because the ones they gave you in school did not work. I learned to play golf on right handed clubs and to this day cannot hit a golf ball with a left handed club. I learned to arrive at my college classroom 15 minutes early so i could move the left handed desk to the front of the room my preferred seating. While what I experienced was not hateful, I still would have friends joke with me, why do you write with the wrong hand? I live in a right handed world where the buttons on my cell phone are the cause of aggravation every time my thumb pushes them inadvertently. The list goes on.
The fact is that we live in a world that contains certain realities. I was born left handed, I cannot change that. Others are born of a different race and they cannot change that. People will hate and people will love and some just don’t care and no one can change that.
So we have a choice. We can accept what we cannot change. We can accept our differences and live our lives accepting people for who they are. The golden rule comes to mind and when you really apply it – really apply it- life will take on a whole new perspective. While the woman in line makes the comment “you mean the one in Boston” put yourself in her shoes. Perhaps right after she said it she regretted it – maybe not – but if that was you and you made that mistake wouldn’t you want the other person to be gracious toward you in spite of your blunder? A simple response could have been something to this effect: yes the one in Boston and I am not sure why you asked that question but if it is because it seems unlikely, because I am black, than I would ask that you consider your comment and try not to make someone else feel like you are singling them out.
I recognize, Lori Lakin Hutcherson, is an educated woman and has well written a very detailed account of her perspective on white privilege, in spite of her use of foul language. When i first read it, I thought well that is a good explanation. After considerable thought, it occurred to me that she is harboring hatred due to what in some cases may have been hatred directed toward her – because of her race – and understandably so. I digress, we are born into this world as we are and we cannot change that. What we can change is how we take our set of circumstances and NOT make it someone else’s fault. The underlying message in Ms. Hutcherson’s essay is well written hate, like it or not, it perpetuates the excuse to separate one race from another and stereotype a group. It is of itself racism as she is identifying a white person as being white, rather than being a person. My 8th grade teachers lesson has not been well learned.
No, Malcolm, you don’t get it. I am white with natural red hair. As a child I was bullied mercilessly for my hair color, which I had no control over, as well as for being chubby, left handed, and autistic. My family wasn’t kicked out of the neighborhood because of my hair color, the way Black families were. It didn’t affect my ability to go to university or get a job. The prejudice against gingers is not systemic. It isn’t ingrained in our socio-economic system. There haven’t been laws against us since the burning times. (Yes, another prejudice based on Medieval Christian superstition.)
I see no hate in this wonderful essay. White people who are genuinely against racism work to support people of color. We examine our unconscious biases, which are not our fault but still need to be eradicated. If I say or do something racist, I want my friends to tell me about it so I can correct it. It shouldn’t be the job of Black people to educate white people. It’s our problem. We have to end it.
Color blindness is so 90s. Why do white men defending privilege take up so much space here? I think we White people need to create our own spaces to discuss racism and how to eradicate it.
As a right-handed Black woman, I think your comparison of being left-handed to being Black is the closest experience any non-Black person can get. I remember as a child, left-handed students were demonized and forced by teachers to use their right hands. I am privileged as a right-hander. The world is built for people like me. We don’t face the challenges left-handed people do. For them, something as mundane as using a pair of scissors is a challenge.
I had to think about this article for awhile, being white and having had thefirst hand opportunity of observing several of these same events by my black son-in-law. First, I have seen the racial profiling type discrimination discussed in this article and it angers me each time I see or hear about similar events. However the misuse or rebranding of words here appear to be designed to mislead and cast blame in an apparent way to make others believe they are the cause for the victims discussed. The word “privilege” is from a Latin root word to mean a Law for One, as in privileged information or special rights granted to a group. It never was intended to identify some advantage that could only be known or recognized with hindsight or reflection on what others have done. I find the term “white privilege” offensive. Clearly bigotry and racism still exist, but people should not be condemned as the cause for events they are not even aware of, unless once known, they continue to ignore the injustice being shown to others. I think educated black leaders using the term “white privilege” need to rethink what the term means and that it likely is seen as demeaning and derogatory and not a way to engage others in a positive solution to the bigotry and racism being shown by others, especially through the use of guilt and shame as the motivator.
“White privilege” is now accepted terminology and used by people of all races. The phrase has been around for decades. It’s good to know Latin roots, but we are using contemporary English. “Trivia” refers to sacred crossroads with three streets, from the Latin tri meaning three, and via meaning road. Is that the accepted meaning of trivia today? This minor linguistic quibble is trivial next to the oppression and violence Black Americans are forced to live with.
You failed to take on the lens of the Other in your reading, but instead placed your own lens on top of it and discounted theirs altogether. That’s unfortunate. Is it an example of white privilege? Perhaps so perhaps not. Is it close minded and extremely unfortunate? Absolutely. If her point of view had been purely from being female and being discriminated against would you also have felt compelled to refute every point that was made?
no one is saying life isn’t challenging, you’ve missed the point. she’s saying one of those challenges, for you, is not racism. racism is backed by decades, centuries of legislation, rights violations, financial policy, and structural bias. when a black person on a softball team calls you ‘nigger’ it is not resonating with a history of black people lynching white people b/c that history was not a historical, ingrained pattern. try to listen to what she’s saying, and not to what she’s not saying. did she say you only achieved b/c of white privilege? no, but she pointed out some ways in which her own acheivement were challenged, and those are real. they happen every day. i’m a white woman – i’ve been sexually assaulted, i’ve had to make my way in a male-dominated industry where i was told to do my hair prettier as a path to advancement, but I live daily with the knowledge that if i get stopped by a cop, i’m probably not going to be shot and killed. that is a privilege that black people don’t have, and i have no problem acknowledging that. don’t put your privilege and your hardships in competition with each other, it’s a much more complex issue than that.
I wonder if Lebron James was white living in Cali, would his house still been vandalized with the N word, saying he wasn’t welcomed or would it have said instead “cracker” not welcomed in the neighborhood. This makes for interesting reading. Although this article was written a few years ago, it is still relevant today.
Enlightening. Educational. Thought provoking. We can never really know how one another feels as we really can not walk a mile in someone else’s skin. But, we can acknowledge that there are people around us who try. Good stuff.
Hi, i commented on twitter, but just wanted to expand on my thoughts here a bit more without character constraints.
I’m pretty sure that examples #1 and #8 are examples of classism and not racism. I’ll give two examples to support this claim:
1. when i moved into the rich neighborhood at 10 years old (there were several black families on the block fwiw), my brother and I immediately became the targets of the local neighborhood kids. they threw rocks at us, called us names, etc. This went on for several years until i punched one of the kids in the face, at which point we became one of the “tribe” so to speak.
2. when i got my first major development contract, the boss was often condescending any time i would disagree with him. Me being an uneducated, but arguably very talented developer, his ego wouldn’t allow him to step aside and let me shape the project. I quit, and they are still pursuing me to come back to this day…
To me these are both similar to what you experienced, but to me they are examples of classism, and not racism.
Examples of racism:
1. 13 years old, went to get a bag of weed. grown man punches my friend Tra in the face and calls him a n****r = Racism
2. 15 years old, went to a party in the country, white guy(mistaking me for a mexican) pulls a shotgun “get that GD mexican out of here before i shoot him” = Racism
3. being booked into jail, cops don’t even search me or pay me any mind really. harrass black guy for 30 minutes, asking if he has weapons, drugs, etc. and make him strip naked in front of all the other people in booking = racism
This post isn’t meant to disparage you or your post… your words and experience certainly illustrate the point, of what white privilege is, however I feel like it is necessary to clearly define what is racism and what is some other type of bullying/discrimination, such as classism, because I believe that, if we allow the lines to be blurred too far, we often lose focus of the truth.
I would like to add in closing that i enjoyed your post. Up until now I had assumed that white privilege was just a derogatory term being used against whites by the far left in some type of “white guilt shaming”. I now understand that its just a vehicle you are using to try and illustrate your points about racism and how it has affected your life, which is understandable. I do question the effectiveness, and the necessity of this vehicle. it seems to do more to contribute to clashing mentality than it does to clear the air about the issue at hand. I think any rationally thinking white person would be more sympathetic to the cause, if it was spelled out in a more friendly and succinctly , without hyperbole and free of racial condemnation of white people as a whole. When you use terms like white privilege, you do more to undermine the target audience than you do to actually change your situation. It probably makes you feel better in the moment, but what is a single battle in the eyes of a much larger war?
Nice work! As a white male — i don’t often see this stuff — it’s because I don’t have to. As a gay man I do see somethings as well. And as a fat guy, I get a stunning number of degrading things said about me. It’s sad really.
I do have one question. It’s the like about “ABC taps Viola Davis as Series Lead” to “Viola Davis Lands Lead on ABC Show.”
I honestly don’t see the white privilege in that one. As a journalist, I see it as two ways of writing a headline. I see no negative weight here. In the interest of learning, I’m curious as to what’s wrong with the first.
Thanks again for writing this. I’ll be forwarding it on!
Viola Davis as subject vs as object… ( and that show is awesome )
As a white family, we rented a house in a predominately black neighbourhood. Having grown up in a multicultural city it never occurred to me we would have any issues. Then the bricks through the Windows started. One narrowly missing my baby. We could see a group of local black teenagers throwing them. Night after night and shouting racial abuse We called the police. They did not come most of the time. We spoke to the only other white man in the street. An elderly gentleman who had been targeted daily for years. YEARS. The police did nothing. When we complained about the obvious racial targeting they denied any racial element. They said as we were white. It wasn’t racial. So We had to leave. The old man has no where to go. When I bring this up I’m told it’s not racism. Or now you know how it feels. Or we deserve it for being white.
By forcing white privilege down everyone’s throat. No matter what life experiences they’ve had ( you’re white, therefore you are privaleged) and denying “reverse racism” exists, you cause resentment and anger. Do you think we looked for a house in another multicultural neighbourhood? No. We chose a predominately white area. But apparently it’s white people segregating people of colour? White privilege is not as clear cut as people make it out to be. And yes. I can still see how my life has been privileged by my whiteness. But not every white person is privileged.
First, I would like to say that I am white male. I read over your article twice, just to make sure I didn’t miss anything. In my opinion, all of the events listed in this article are events that happen to everyone all of the time…regardless of race. Im not proud of it, but when I was a kid, I remember my friends and I throwing rocks into my neighbor’s pool…they weren’t black. They were white. We were just kids doing stupid things. I’ve had many unfortunate events happen in my life. I’ve had my property vandalized, I’ve been fired from jobs, passed up on promotions, had people give me looks, make negative comments about me, not take me seriously. I’ve been pulled over by police, I’ve been roughed up by police and I’ve had black people call me cracker. Every single point you mentioned, I could relate to in one way or another.
The big difference between me and most of you, is that I never even thought to blame any of these events on my race. I just accepted it as part of life. Everything you mentioned would have happened to you regardless of your color….but you believe deep down that all of those events happened because you’re black. The Bible says “Seek and you shall find” If you seek out racism and white privilege, you’re going to find it. If I focused all of my attention on trying to find instances of overweight, middle-aged, Hispanic women treating me poorly…I eventually would find negative experiences that I could somehow blame on overweight, middle-aged Hispanic women. Did you ever buy a car that you thought was pretty unique and you never really noticed before out on the road? I bet that once you began driving that car, you began to notice that there are a whole lot more people driving that exact same car. It’s because you are conscious of it now…you were tuned in on those types of cars, as before when you weren’t focused on that car,you probably never even noticed it before
I’m sure that this post will be very unpopular here…and that’s fine. If you all disagree with it…that’s fine. But I would like to ask all of you one question. Even if I’m completely wrong and I’m totally out of line….my question is…What would all of you black folk like for us white people to do about White Privilege? You’re writing articles about White privilege and focusing all of your attention on it. What solution do you offer? What could I do, as a white male, to help you all feel better…or feel as I’m no longer privileged? Now…let’s not go overboard because then I’d be accused of “White Guilt”…right?? Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
I completely understand that you people suffered a 150 years ago. But Ill tell you what, not one member of my family lived here in America at that time, yet It seems like you all would like me to feel guilty about this “White Privilege” What would you all like for me to do to make this situation better? Seriously please…I need t know…what is it that I can do to make this situation better?
In my eyes, everyone has the same shot in life at success and happiness. 10% of life is the cards that you’re dealt, 90% of it is what you decide to do with those cards. I think I speak for 90% of whites when I say that we all want to get along and welcome everyone into our worlds….black, white, yellow, red or brown (from the Boogie Down, lol).
I hope my post doesn’t come across as brash or rude because that’s not my intention. I’m just trying to understand all of this….nd the above article did nothing but to confuse me more. Thanks.
Well just as a start in the right direction, you might eliminate the phrases “you black folk” and “you people”. If you are not speaking for and representing All White People Everywhere, then neither is she speaking for All Black People Everywhere.
Ok…but you didn’t answer any of my questions…..I already knew somebody would come out and say exactly what you just said. Typica.. How should I have phrased it? I didnt say “All black folk”…geezz sensitive group here.
Ok Grace…you didn’t answer one question I asked. Add this question to the list….If you are offended by being called “black folk”, how should I address you so you aren’t offended? I didn’t say “All black folk”….Geeez….amazing
Erik – yes, you do come across as brash and rude…and I hear you ask for direction. I just saw Michael Moore’s movie “Where to Invade Next.” In it, he highlights various countries that have what the US doesn’t have in place. He went to Germany to look at how German schools teach young people about Hitler and the atrocities of the Third Reich. There’s no sugar coating, no white washing. The underlying doctrine is “Never again.” I was pleased to see this segment because I am German and I experienced the same sincere teachings back in the 70s. And you know what – today’s German kids weren’t around when their grandparents and great-grandparents were alive and often participating in the Hitler era.
I immediately wondered about the US – what if Americans truly learned about their history: the genocide of Native Americans, the enslavement of Africans, the labor movement, the suffrage movement, Civil Rights movement – perhaps from the Howard Zinn perspective (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Howard_Zinn) instead of dressing up as pilgrims and Indians?
If you are serious about learning more about race relations, keep reading posts like Lori’s with a more open and less defensive mindset, educate yourself about your history and then look around you and see how history still plays itself out in modern-day America. And if all you can say now is “but look at how much has changed,” then you haven’t studied enough. Don’t hold Black people responsible for “schooling” you – that’s your job!
Beauty….thanks for the History lesson, but I’m completely aware of everything that you just mentioned. Now two replies…and zero answers. That’s called deflection. In your history lesson about Germany (Im part German as well) you mention that their motto is “Never again”. You must not have been paying attention in History class when they went over the Civil War. In case you haven’t heard of it…it was a little war that was fought where over 330,000 White Union Soldiers ( the ones fighting to free the slaves) fought and died for you…yet somehow that doesn’t matter…but a German “Motto” matters more to you. Maybe instead of fighting a war…they should have just made a documentary, then we wouldn’t have this problem. So far, both responses have been nothing but people upset because I asked a question or upset the way it’s been worded…but not one single productive answer. Let’s flip this around….Is it because I’m White???
Please restate your question, I missed it and there are too many comment for me to dig through them all to find it. Don’t preface it or explain it, just simply state the question please. I’ll do my best to answer objectively.
Never mind, i think I found it… “What would all of you black folk like for us white people to do about White Privilege?”
So, again, I’m not black so technically, you didn’t ask me. However, you seem interested in getting a different answer, perhaps wanting something a bit more prescriptive (I hesitated in saying “genuinely interested” based on your tone, I guess we’ll find about about that from your response to this)… so I’ll tell you what I (as a “white folk”) would like to see from society, (all of it, not just you):
It’s pretty simple really…
1. Stop labeling people, and making group assumptions about them based on those labels (If you already do this, then start holding other people accountable as well).
2. Treat literally every single person you encounter the same until they prove they should be treated differently, do everything in your power to eliminate preconceived notions (If you already do this, then start holding other people accountable as well).
2. Listen to understand and empathize, not to argue (If you already do this, then start holding other people accountable as well).
3. Be an evangelist for equality (If you already do this, then start holding other people accountable as well).
If you already do all of this, then keep up the good work (and we’ll just assume your previous posts were the product of an “off day”).
Erik – you obviously missed my previous comment where I explain who I am and what my experiences have been. I will not recap it here for you and I do not like your condescending tone.
It seems to me that you are not here to learn anything, only to rationalize your opinions that seem set in stone. You ask for input; however, when you get it you dismiss and belittle it because it doesn’t come in the shape and form that you are willing to hear it. I do not know how to help you take off your blinders. You’ll have to set that as a true intention for yourself first.
Thank you, Lori Lakin Hutcherson, for what is thus far the best and most informative article I’ve read on the subject.
Your words are living water. Thank you for your courage, insights, relentless and tenacious will, fearless, dynamic and beautiful heart. You are a journey well-traveled.
Thank you for that insightful list. As I was reading it I couldn’t help but think how simular it was to what I consider straight privilege. You know as opposed to the experience of gay people.
I propose that privilege belongs to the majority, and in the US the majority happens to be Caucasian. When I was a tiny minority (female engineer in the early 80s), I encountered similarly blatant ugly incidents from the majority all the time. There’s nothing about skin color itself that imparts privilege. It’s the ease of being part of the mainstream majority that creates privilege. Being different has always caused friction, but it has gotten better and it will get better. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. ALL.
I wish I had time to write a full essay on this. I am very white and grew up very privileged. Lookout Mountain, TN — old money, southern attitudes, kids ran around in their frilly Dolce dresses and saddle oxfords and went to the country club, everyone had maids (guess which color). You get the idea. If you are picturing a modern version of The Help you are in the ballpark.
For whatever reason, however, I somehow escaped getting the “sickness”, so to speak. My parents had white privilege, most definitely, but were very empathetic and had high moral standards. The result was that I somehow never adopted some of the passive racism, for lack of a better expression, that i have seen in the region, and this includes my own family. I’m not just talking a few of them either. I have since moved away from the area, but for decades have gone back home for holidays and what not. Here are some instances I have had to deal with over the years, and these are only a few:
Let me start with something that is hard to share, because I was the culprit. I must have been 6-7 years old. We had just gotten a new maid and I don’t remember her being employed very long. My parents came to me pissed off telling me she had just quit, and demanding I tell them what I had said to her. It apparently came out that I said something to the effect of “we like you and don’t have anything against you being black.” I know I meant well, but I must have totally botched how i said it and this poor woman was I’m sure extremely offended. I am at a loss to remember where I must have picked up whatever twisted notion made me mention such a thing, but I’m guessing it was..white privilege.
One of my friends in grammar school was Johnny Williams, and he is one of the poorest people I have ever met, and I have been to El Salvador. Lookout Mtn/ was stone mansions and Mercedes. Johnny’s house was literally a shack. I will never forget that contrast. This was one of the first indications in my life that I had white privilege.
Later on I remember us driving through some urban neighborhood and my mom telling us to lock our doors. I remember thinking it was racial stereotyping. Could it have been just a reaction to being in the bad part of town? sure, but I would not have said it and it felt weird hearing it. Years later I called her from DC to tell her I had some news. Her response was immediately: “lemme guess, you’re dating a black girl” WTF? She was no racist, yet her random reference to color bothered me. Her husband at one point saw a Whitney Houston video and remarked “she is a beautiful black woman” — uh, why the caveat? I wondered. Sounded like he was saying “for a black woman she ain’t half bad” Years later, when I actually did date a black girl my own father advised me to “warn my grandmother, because she is from another generation.” I refused, telling them very emphatically that skin color should in no way enter into the conversation nor should I condone people acting like skin color was a negative to “warn” someone about. No one in the family ever spoke up and agreed with me on this. Granted they didn’t argue against it, but it was telling to me. It was as if they were hearing me talking in a language they only vaguely understood but could never speak themselves. By the way, my grandmother was absolutely fine with my GF.
One year I was taking drum lessons from JD Blair, a famous jazz fusion drummer who was in Huntsville at the time. He had just had a kid and it seemed like he was in need, so I offered him the bed I’d grown up with as a kid. He was very grateful. But when I told my sister the story I had no reason to mention his skin color, and when it accidentally came out that James was black I was asked why I left it out of the story, and the conversation somehow led to a race discussion. It quickly became tense as my sister said she was sick of hearing about race issues and had never experienced a single race incident. This was right around the time of Rodney King. She had dated a black guy and was by no stretch a racist, yet she was so in a bubble the issue was just annoying to hear about. This is white privilege, not ever having to deal with racism, think about it, talk about it, and even getting annoyed and impatient having to be reminded it still exists.
My sister in law, who is a young mother, is perhaps the least racist of them all. She tells a story, however, about her daughter blurting out embarrassing things in public. One of the examples is when she said “that guy is black.” This to me exhibits not so much hard racism as a kind of distortion or misunderstanding of what exactly a reference to color does or does not constitute. It’s like she is studying to be sensitive to race issues but just missing test questions here and there because her teachers don’t fully understand the concepts. This is a fairly common quirk I have witnessed whenever I visit my “cool” friends back home. Nothing malicious, just a little anomaly of being white and mostly around whites in the south.
Just yesterday I got into it with my brother in law on facebook when he posted the video of the black guy getting pissed off at the white reporter and saying “f u” and “f da police” etc. I was extremely bothered that my bro-in-law would choose to post that vid and say that people need to maintain civility, when it seemed like the furthest thing from the solution to the issue. Why not mention what it was that was pissing the guy off? Why not talk about police brutality and what spawned BLM? This is to me the quintessential example of subtle racism, passive racism or at least passive-aggressive behavior against a minority, which he has exhibited no empathy for. There is no evidence he cares, but evidence he has solidarity for the police and for, as he states, “law and order” He changes his FB icon to the black and white folded hands and thinks that will miraculously make us “all just get along”. At worst he is an example of subtle racism and at best it is, here we go again, white privilege.
When Obama got elected there was one single reference to the event in my family. It was a joke, and one that was typical of the hidden passive racism I would hear every so often: “hey can you guess which one is Obama?” [shows matrix of Presidents to date, with clearly white faces all the way up to the last one] I’m not even sure how that constituted a joke, but was clearly a subtle jab at race. Not once in 7 years have I heard how much progress we have made and what a celebration it is that we have elected a black President. I mostly hear no comments, an absence, leaving out statements when they are clearly called for. A few of them are adamantly against Obama, as if he is the devil incarnate, divisive to the nation, incompetent, unfair, even racist. The rest say nothing. This may not be overt racism, but it is enough to tell me there is definitely something there. They’re perfectly fine to let people try to figure out exactly to what level they are racist. I’m guessing it’s low, but I’ll never know, they keep quiet.
My dad recently told me his tennis partner uses the N-word referring to Obama. My dad, to his credit, has a philosophy that if you want to change people you cannot cut-off from them. Fair enough, but it nonetheless bothers me he would even have a friend who is racist. At some point the good guys have to call out the bad ones and reject them, kick them the f out of their lives. Anything else seems like it is condoning the behavior. I could never let something like that that stand, and if any of my friends or family said that shit it would be the last time they saw me.
What really bothers me about all my experiences is that I am on the inside, and as a white person i see things that are not just symptoms of the problem, they ARE the problem. And yet there is a lack of understanding among these folks, there is a resistance, there is naïveté, there is denial, passive aggressive behavior, and there is an attitude that they are sick of hearing about it. I myself am baffled by it. I have de-friended some family members, and these are people who should know better, they were raised the right way, they had all the tools given to them.
Maybe the difference is I was lucky enough to move away from the deep south, move to DC, marry an awesome cosmopolitan mixed race girl and not have to worry about such issues day to day. Her son is part hispanic, his GF is something else, people we work with are asian, indian, whatever. Our friends are Muslim, Catholic, atheist, etc. We don’t give a flying rat’s ass what color/race/religion people are, and it truly liberating.
I have never liked over simplifications. Your examples, each valid, ended with “then you have white privilege”. I guess kinda like Jeff Foxworth’s humorous bit…you might be a redneck. But some of those examples have happened to me, not for skin color but for another -ism. Also, I’ve seen it handed out and received in exchanges with no white person involved. Say Mexican to an Asian. Still racism, but not white privilege. There are just too many reasons, why too many people disrespect, are flippant with comments, and fear the ‘other’ to make a whole label that sounds like blame to one in particular. It doesn’t help your case, it sounds like an attack. To try to open a dialogue with an accusation or attack will not have as much success as beginning with….i feel like this. How do you feel? So lets not oversimplify human interaction into the privileged and the victim. Lets be kind and open to all. “content of one’s character????” REMEMBER? I call out people regularly for comments they simply learned from the generation before them and never thought about it, to educate, not accuse. To grow and change, not divide. We will never get there otherwise. Understanding can’t begin with attacks. I will be following to keep trying to learn more. I never felt more like the enemy than I do today, so I need to understand to help change things. I also need to feel like someone on the other side is trying and willing to understand me. Not label me as an excuse for their hurt feelings.
One thing people never fully understand or think about is the more nuanced concept of Privilege; the term Intersectionality. The concept of Intersectionality recognizes that people can be privileged in some ways and definitely not privileged in others. There are many different types of privilege, not just skin color privilege, that impact the way people can move through the world or are discriminated against. These are all things you are born into, not things you earned, that afford you opportunities others may not have.
For example:
Citizenship – Simply being born in this country affords you certain privileges non-citizens will never access.
Class – Being born into a financially stable family can help guarantee your health, happiness, safety,
education, intelligence, and future opportunities.
Sexual Orientation – By being born straight, every state in this country affords you privileges that non-straight folks have to fight the Supreme Court for.
Sex – By being born male, you can assume that you can walk through a parking garage without worrying you’ll be raped and that a defense attorney will then blame it on what you were wearing.
Ability – By being born able bodied, you probably don’t have to plan your life around handicap access, braille, or other special needs.
Gender – By being born cisgendered, you aren’t worried that the restroom or locker room you use will invoke public outrage.
As you can see, belonging to one or more category of Privilege, especially being a Straight White Middle Class Able-Bodied Male, can be like winning a lottery you didn’t even know you were playing. But this is not to imply that any form of privilege is exactly the same as another or that people lacking in one area of privilege understand what it’s like to be lacking in other areas. Race discrimination is not equal to Sex Discrimination and so forth.
And listen, recognizing Privilege doesn’t mean suffering guilt or shame for your lot in life. Nobody’s saying that Straight White Middle Class Able-Bodied Males are all a bunch of assholes who don’t work hard for what they have. Recognizing Privilege simply means being aware that some people have to work much harder just to experience the things you take for granted (if they ever can experience them at all.)
Thank you for sharing your experiences. Seriously. Thank you.
I have certainly spent time in parts of the country where I have experienced white privilege. When at college in Missouri in the early 80s, a friend received death threats, and the Klan burned crosses at meetings across the lake. Scary stuff, and so wrong. I remember the first time I saw a black person unrelated to my college walk down a street in that rural town, and I know how wrong it is that it was remarkable at all. I remember how happy I was to find a black family running a successful restaurant in that same town 30 years later.
I had other experiences with racism, too, though, and I would like to share them with you.
1. When my family was the only white family moving into a Latino neighborhood, I was shot at, my horse was shot, and my father was pistol whipped while his wife was held at gunpoint. We had 24 hours to leave before they would come back and kill us. We left. No one was ever prosecuted.
2. When I shared that story with a wealthy Latina law student from an urban country club area, she said, “Good. Now you know what it feels like.”
3. I spent most of my youth in Albuquerque, New Mexico. For the most part, in that oldest part of the country, most people can’t be bothered to be racist, regardless of their race. I.e. I went out on a date with a black man and didn’t even notice he was black until he asked me my ethnic background, and I asked him his. He didn’t look particularly white. I just hadn’t given it any thought. It was a genuine question, and I was surprised when he said he was black. I took a “race conscious” look at him and realized he was, indeed, black. He was genuinely floored. Go figure. Nice guy.
4. When I asked my fellow law student about a class after I missed due to my work with legal aid, she said, “It was great. All you white people were gone today.”
7. I’ve been flat out told by “friends” that they would not share job tips with me because I was white.
8. My daughter was the only white child in her 1st grade class. The other girls were cruel to her, citing her race as the reason they would not play with her. Heartbreaking when your child, no matter what her “privilege,” comes home crying because she is the wrong color to have friends.
9. I told a black man about my daughter’s experience, and he said, “With her white privilege, she could go back and kill those kids, and all you white people would cheer for her.” He was obviously bat s**t crazy, but it was seriously disturbing.
10. The parents at that same school shut me out of volunteering to work with their children in after school programs.
I’m not trying to negate or minimize your experiences by sharing mine. No one should be treated the way you and your family have been treated. Like I said at the beginning, I’m aware that I have benefitted from white privilege in parts of the country. I just wanted to share my experiences as an illustration that racism is a far more complex issue on all sides than the popular message that “white = privileged, racist, guilty” while “not white = downtrodden, persecuted, innocent.” Nothing would make me happier than seeing an end to this madness on all sides.
Why does this have to be a competition? No one said others don’t experience racism or discrimination. Why is it necessary to have to point this out when that is not the discussion at hand? It does negate this issue because it fails to acknoledge white privileged. And you obvious still do not understand what it is. You are pointing out specific things that happened to you. That is not what white privelige is about. Itts not about an individuals experiences. Its about the institutionalized racism in general that is not from just one person.
If you read the words I wrote, I made it clear that I was not competing or negating the author’s experiences, nor was I arguing that white privilege does not exist.
Lose the chip on your shoulder young lady. You’ve no idea of what it’s like to be white or male either, and it’s indisputable that there is also black and female privilege. I’ve experienced the converse of your examples. Oddly, however, although male, I’m always mistakenly taken as a Caucasian, when I’m actually Melungeon. But, back to black privilege, when you culturally appropriate the victimization experienced by the truly enslaved and/ or segregated, you’re treading on dangerous ground. You cheapen the legacy of your/our forebearers, and make hollow the suffering. Have you considered the ‘boat people’ refugees from Vietnam? They don’t take the time to wallow in self pity, they just go out and achieve. Perhaps rather than Harvard you may should have taken tutelage from some of them.
One thing people never fully understand or think about is the more nuanced concept of Privilege; the term Intersectionality. The concept of Intersectionality recognizes that people can be privileged in some ways and definitely not privileged in others. There are many different types of privilege, not just skin color privilege, that impact the way people can move through the world or are discriminated against. These are all things you are born into, not things you earned, that afford you opportunities others may not have.
For example:
Citizenship – Simply being born in this country affords you certain privileges non-citizens will never access.
Class – Being born into a financially stable family can help guarantee your health, happiness, safety,
education, intelligence, and future opportunities.
Sexual Orientation – By being born straight, every state in this country affords you privileges that non-straight folks have to fight the Supreme Court for.
Sex – By being born male, you can assume that you can walk through a parking garage without worrying you’ll be raped and that a defense attorney will then blame it on what you were wearing.
Ability – By being born able bodied, you probably don’t have to plan your life around handicap access, braille, or other special needs.
Gender – By being born cisgendered, you aren’t worried that the restroom or locker room you use will invoke public outrage.
As you can see, belonging to one or more category of Privilege, especially being a Straight White Middle Class Able-Bodied Male, can be like winning a lottery you didn’t even know you were playing. But this is not to imply that any form of privilege is exactly the same as another or that people lacking in one area of privilege understand what it’s like to be lacking in other areas. Race discrimination is not equal to Sex Discrimination and so forth.
And listen, recognizing Privilege doesn’t mean suffering guilt or shame for your lot in life. Nobody’s saying that Straight White Middle Class Able-Bodied Males are all a bunch of assholes who don’t work hard for what they have. Recognizing Privilege simply means being aware that some people have to work much harder just to experience the things you take for granted (if they ever can experience them at all.)
Wow! The superior tone of your response says it all! Smh. White Privilege….
The entire problem with any of this talk about privilege is that it undermines gratitude. What about American privilege? What about the privilege of having internet access? Of having a roof to live under? Of having food at the table? Of life itself? There are others who do not have these privileges. Count yourself lucky.
Gratitude would revolutionize the world.
No one is disputing the other forms of privilege. That is not what this discussion is about. Do you go to breast cancer rally’s or walks and start yelling “what about skin cancer and brain cancer!!” “You all should be happy you have hospitals and medical care cuz others don’t at all. Count yourself lucky!” Do you do that because that is what you are doing here.
I’m so amazed at the fact so many people claim white privilege doesn’t exist but yet they accept other forms of privilege. I have really thought about why this is and have come to the following conclusions. These may not apply to all people but I think they do to most of those who deny it exists.
Sometimes, when a person is confronted with white privilege, they hear it as “you’re a privileged white person.” This is an easy mistake to make, but it’s a crucial misinterpretation. White privilege doesn’t entail that you’ve necessarily lived a life of luxury and serenity — that would more accurately be a conversation about class privilege. White privilege, rather, is about the benefits and boosts, obvious and opaque, that society affords you simply as a function of your whiteness.
Admitting to one’s own white privilege doesn’t mean your life must be easier overall than that of every person of color. Some people will rake in the big bucks, some people will find love, some people will live in happy homes, and some won’t, regardless of race.
It’s impossible to deny that being born with white skin in America affords people certain unearned privileges in life that people of another skin color simple are not afforded. For example:
“They can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of their race widely represented.”
“When they are told about their national heritage or about “civilization,” they are shown that people of their color made it what it is.”
“If a traffic cop pulls them over or if the IRS audits their tax return, They can be sure they haven’t been singled out because of my race.”
“They can if they wish arrange to be in the company of people of their race most of the time.”
I am sure many may not agree with those but how can you deny they are not true generally speaking? You can see how white people and people of color experience the world in two very different ways.
BUT LISTEN: This is not said to make white people feel guilty about their privilege. It’s not your fault you were born with white skin and experience these privileges. BUT, whether you realize it or not, you DO benefit from it, and it IS your fault if you don’t maintain awareness of that fact.
White privilege is about the things that no single person can change about how society views race — not a person of color, nor a well-meaning white person. Look at it this way: your black friend might have their dream job, earn twice your annual income, have a spouse, children, and a lavish home. But that doesn’t mean they won’t be eyed warily when out walking at night, because those kinds of prejudices aren’t about context, they’re about color. They’re more privileged than you in countless ways, sure, but white privilege is one thing you have that they never will.
Good intentions, while appreciated, can’t in and of themselves overcome a 200+ year American history of anti-black racism, to say nothing of racism against Asian, Latino, and other populations. Just because someone is a liberal, anti-racist white man doesn’t mean they are not reaping the benefits of white privilege. Both the ones that exist as present, modern-day phenomenons — like a job application being more likely overlooked if it has a “black” name attached — and the ones that are rooted in our nation’s history of slavery.
First of all, when somebody says you have white privilege, they aren’t calling you a racist. Rather, they’re saying that you benefit from societal and historical racism. It’s why you can get pulled over and escape a ticket with a polite smile and an earnest-sounding apology. It’s why you can smoke marijuana, in public even, with little fear of reprisal. It’s why you don’t have to worry about people assuming, without having truly met you, that you are angry, lazy, threatening, or a criminal malcontent. That doesn’t mean you are a racist, it just means that you awash in the same, centuries-old systems of white supremacy as everyone else. The only way to really get this one wrong is to deny that white privilege exists.
About the hurt feelings or being offended, though — you should consider how painful and/or exhausting it is for people of color to be asked to explain privilege, and to so often get defensiveness and bitterness when they make the effort. In short, just because you might feel uncomfortable with your own privilege doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
So for those that are at least still reading and trying to understand and wondering if they are even able to do anything to help eliminate all this.
This is the good part! The answer is simple when you’re starting out: just recognize it. Think about white privilege, and how it impacts your life. Think about how easily and freely you move through the world, safe from the same racist suspicions that people of color face, often daily. Maybe look over the demographic breakdowns from New York City’s “stop and frisk” policy, and consider what difference a little white privilege can make. When someone asks you to “check your privilege,” that’s all they’re saying — think about how your whiteness impacts your perspective, and consider whether you might be missing something. Listen. Learn.
Nobody expects that you’re going to single-handedly demolish the edifice of white privilege in America. That demands an enormous social transformation, and it can’t happen in ignorance. If all of us can soberly, calmly recognize and understand our own privilege, we’ll creep ever closer to that day.
Bernice – thank you for your post. I think you highlighted an important issue. When white people who consider themselves non-racist hear about white privilege, they immediately want to distance themselves. They equate racism with privilege. These are not the same concepts! One can be non-racist in words and deeds and still benefit from white privilege. I thought this would be obvious by now, but from so many responses here and elsewhere, it is not. At least we are now getting into the more subtle layers of race and racism, which extend far beyond the personal disposition any single individual might have. We need to change this incredibly simplistic thinking: “I am White and I am not a racist; therefore I am a good person and cannot be held accountable.”
Part of White privilege is the belief that when we don’t like something we can DO something to fix it. However, the racial complexities in this country are so vast and so entrenched in all layers of life and social and institutional interactions that no one can “single-handedly demolish the edifice of white privilege in America” (your words, Bernice). I am wondering whether part of the frustration in white people who consider themselves “allies” has to do with this realization that they, too (as an individual) are powerless. The experience of powerlessness in (some) white people leads to membership in white supremacy groups and endorsing Trump as the Great White Hope. Others just shrug, whine how “sad’ it all is and withdraw into their safe haven of white existence. But a post or two on Facebook or Twitter is hardly going to contribute to change.
Racial identity is a big part of who we are – yes, even and especially for Whites (check out Janet Helms’ White Racial Identity Model https://mss.boisestate.edu/tunnel-of-oppression/inside-the-tunnel/helms-white-racial-identity-development-model/
A move into the more developed phases of our racial identity always requires self-examination and handling the emotions that come with it. Any White person who wants to seriously understand race relations also has to understand racial identity (especially their own).
Are you willing to do the work that’s required?
I am a white Jewish male. While I have experienced prejudice, it does not rise to the level of prejudice experienced by other (black) posters here. I do not routinely experience antisemitic prejudice in public because no one can tell by looking at me that I’m Jewish. I am aware that my life is privileged in many ways.
It is obvious to me that blacks experience routine racial prejudice and that those of us who are not black are privileged to avoid that.
While I acknowledge the existence of white privilege as described by the thoughtful original post, I don’t care for the term “white privilege.” Somehow that term seems to want to make me personally responsible for the existence of the prejudice even though I find the practice abhorrent.
I would prefer to call this phenomenon “racial prejudice” or even more specifically “anti-black racial prejudice.” To label a phenomenon with a positive word like “privilege” undermines the ugly truth embodied in the word “racism.”
Please treat everyone with kindness and humanity (regardless of race or other ways in which they may differ from you).
I think that people can be biased, or bigoted, or frankly jerks 😀
But I tend to think that we should reserve certain words for the overall system, or society. Racist society. Racist system.
White Supremacist.
That’s a pretty ugly word, isn’t it? But that’s what it is. It is a social system that is set up to expect good things from folks with little skin pigment, and bad things from those with more.
Isn’t that just the most assinine thing you have ever heard of? Relying on the pigment in a person’s earth suit to determine personal qualities?
Here’s where I think it needs to start. I think we need to listen and HEAR what folks like Lori are saying.
And believe them. And not try to minimize it, for any reason. Not “yeah, but…”. Just listen and feel the pain.
That’s called Empathy.
And it is a very good thing.
This may generate some relevant discussion for anyone wondering what an illustration of the topics at hand might look like.
http://boingboing.net/2016/07/17/just-look-at-the-diversity-in.html
It has been interesting to read some of the commentary here. Obviously people are passionate about many perspectives. One thing I hear over and over in various discussions about this topic is a core fear on the part of ‘benign’ Caucasians of being pigeonholed and/or wrongly accused of racism, privilege and the like. This is very interesting, because it is a space that is more common for racial majorities to experience than minorities. But when I raised this as a point of discussion recently with someone who is very passionate about change in the wake of the recent murders that made the national news (sadly most do not), his response was that white people are not the ones who need understanding right now. This was a middle aged white man. I literally shook my head in disbelief over this. EVERYONE needs to be heard and understood before a problem can be sorted out. Yes, of course there will be irrational people in the mix to deal with, and some we will just have to go around, but the majority (which will consist of a wonderful MIX of all races and creeds!) will be sane and capable of rational communication.
So I say this: I believe that many good people on all sides of the issues at hand are afraid of not being heard. They are afraid of losing their voice. Some believe they’ve never had much of one to begin with — or any. THIS is important, because it is a common ground. If you are afraid of losing your voice as a Caucasian (e.g., being pigeonholed and/or wrongly accused of racism, privilege and the like), try to step back and reflect on what that TRULY implies and means! YOU HAVE ONE TO BEGIN WITH!!! And that is not a crime, or a slight against you. It does not make YOU the problem. But it does HIGHLIGHT the problem — to which the solution is CHANGE! Now imagine what it would feel like you have to fight and struggle to have a voice at all! Then imagine feeling like you thought you had one, or were getting one, but then inevitably something comes to erase it, or make you anxious about whether or not anyone would even listen if you opened your mouth. What would that be like for you? How would that make you feel? THIS IS WHAT DIALOGUE IS ABOUT! It is not about pointing fingers and making accusations. It is about exploring, communicating, advancing and shifting our perspectives! Then we can go forward and educate others, create change and build a better future for the unfortunate past.
I am SO grateful to be reading EVERYONE’S perspectives here. Yes, even the less popular ones. This is because speaking out about how we feel is the crucial first step in change. If we bottle it up inside, internalize it and act out with it in resentment, fear, hate and bitterness, nothing will change.
I honestly believe that BOTH people of Color and Caucasians need to heard and understood in relatively equal proportion in the midst of what is most definitely a focal time of crisis within the Black community. If we portion that listening and understanding out disproportionately, despite the fact that White people on the whole have long established voices and people of Color are struggling to have a voice, seeds of resentment can be inadvertently be sown. It is important to understand that White people may feel like they are losing some of their voice when, in fact, that playing field is simply headed toward a more level direction. But it is SO crucial to be cognizant of that fear in folks, because it is fear that is at the root of all bad things in this world. No one is obliged to hold the majority’s hand through what they might see as their time to claim what has been denied them. But let us not forget that receiving reassurance when we are afraid can help us through life’s difficult moments — despite whether or not our fears are rational. And when people are free from fear, they are more capable of being part of the solution instead of the problem.
Being kind and compassionate to one another in equal proportions is never better served by disproportionate application — no matter what the past has held.
Love going out to you all.
Lori,
I’m a 65-year-old white man who has tended to consider myself fairly “enlightened” when it comes to matters of race. My parents set an example for me of respecting all people equally. I recall an African-American family (the man was a ministry colleague of my dad; they worked in the same office) invited to our home for dinner when I was a teenager in the 1960s. (Yes, I’m aware that one family in our home is not much; I wish there had been more.) My dad studied Christian ethics in the 1940s-50s under a professor who regularly received hate mail from white pastors because of his stand against segregation and for racial equality. I recently stepped down after four years as chair of a foundation formed to promote and continue that professor’s legacy.
I said all that to say this: At 65 years old, and with my upbringing and experience, I am still learning, and your post has reminded me of how much I have yet to learn about the black experience and the white privilege from which I have benefitted all my life. Thank you for your honesty and your clarity in sharing these difficult experiences.
I promise that I will continue to seek to learn and to be more sensitive to these matters, and to work for justice.
This issue of white Americans denying their white privilege reminds me very much of the time I was in grad school researching and teaching multi-cultural issues. The white kids would always assert that they had no special culture; it was always “others” who had a culture. Being a (white) American was just what was “normal” – the norm, the baseline from which everything and everybody else was measured.
I am a white European who married a Black man. Being in an interracial marriage was an amazing education and showed me an America that my European girlfriend who married a white American never saw or understood. We eventually lost contact because she accused me of being “too negative” when I shared my experiences with her, experiences she would never have because of her white privilege.
I am now married to a white American and I can tell you that my life is a lot less stressful and less anxiety-provoking. I am intensely aware of my white privilege because I have experienced two different lifestyles highly influenced by the racial dynamics in this country.
When the Charleston massacre happened last year, all the memories of race-related incidents that I experienced in my first marriage came back to me – flashbacks of fearing for our lives during a night of hell in a Georgia camp ground, items thrown through our apartment windows in the middle of the night, cold stares and racial slurs in the streets, etc. It made me fearful for my daughter’s and her family’s lives (all beautiful & multi-racial). It also made me realize that racial violence committed against Blacks is likely to bring up any traumas that an individual or their loved ones have suffered in the past. Any of these incidents can easily become a re-traumatization and reminder of the fragility of one’s own life as a person of color.
I truly hope that now is the time for true progress in discussing and learning about race, not just in a contemporary context, but also looking at the historical context that continues to fuel institutional racism against African-Americans. Perhaps we can borrow from South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation process?
However, learning to listen deeply and respectfully to each other is an essential skill that some people have never learned. If not now, when?
Thank you so much, Lori, for writing this post and providing a space where people can learn and talk to each other.
Thank you for your beautiful words and for sharing your memories and personal insights. Onward and upward – together.
Finally!! Someone with an understanding! Thank you for contributing!
This is eloquent and moving. I have no doubt this is, indeed, mild compared to the experience of many people of color. And . . . this issue – white privilege and how we deal with it – has troubled me for some time. It can be very divisive.
I am a 52 year old White Jewish male. I am a liberal. I have encountered antisemitism (in high school, for instance, I was demolishing a classmate in an argument when he snorted and yelled, “ha! Jew!!” and apparently scored the incisive, winning argument, as everyone laughed. My mother was part of the “women’s liberation” movement in the 70s. I understand that I enjoy white privilege, not that I ever asked for it or deserve it. I also have compassion for any individual or group who or which receives unfair treatment. I am disgusted by racism, institutional and individual in this country, and I think we need movements like BLM to bring awareness.
But I chafe at the notion that you need to admonish or chastise me and others similarly situated about the random “good fortune” of our birth in order for me/us to participate in these discussions, in order to understand your story or your feelings. I am your ally. Lecturing me does not feel good. Good hearted people regardless of color understand and have empathy. I would suggest emphasizing empathy, not white privilege.
Michael J. Waxman
Dear Mr. Waxman, thank you for reading and for your comments. This was not intended as a lecture, otherwise there would have been facts, figures, links, etc., as well as all of the stipulation that people of all races, creeds, gender and class status have suffered the same or worse. But this post wasn’t that – it was intended as a specific answer to a specific query for personal experiences from a friend. But to clarify here – the privilege of being white in America is not about wealth or do I think it’s protection from unfair treatment, pain or tragedy. It simply means that at large in America you are way less likely to be assumed to be anything negative or pre-judged because of your skin color.
Thank you for doing an excellent job of sharing how what has been defined as “white privilege” has affected your life. Being white I haven’t experienced that, but I understand somewhat having been raised in the rural south to parents who struggled daily financially. Please forgive my own insensitivity.
Thanks for this. If I were still teaching I’d make sure my class read your post and especially the comments that respond to it. I’ve just read all of them and, coming after yours, they’re an education in themselves.
Incredibly heartfelt and articulate post. I think there is a lot of privilege and prejudice in the world and I hope that your descriptions enlighten more people. And I really hope we can learn, love and grow and move past this sad ugly cycle we find ourselves in. Thank you for taking the time to share a sliver of what you have experienced.
So let’s get this out of the way. I’m just white guy who didn’t go to college, and realize I am privileged. I really try hard not to see race, but it’s everywhere. I thank you for taking your time with this article.
If you don’t think white privilege exists, try driving through Wyoming…. At night. Then imagine you are of a different race.
I’ve helped out people many times. Given rides to people stranded on the highway many times to neighborhoods that I was told to “just drive out of here”. I was not thankful I was white.
I was on the highway on a Sunday morning about 730am with my son in his car seat driving around Chicago, when a group of persons drive past and flash a gun, pull in front of me and slam on the brakes. I was not thankful I was white. Luckily I got away in traffic. I couldn’t afford a cell phone to call the police.
Driving with my two kids now, pull off the highway to use the bathroom and grab some McDonald’s. I’m the only person of my race in the restaurant. I’m not thankful I’m white. Three other groups came and got their food before me. They seem to have an issue with my order…
My son is biking at the park. I’m biking with my daughter on my bike. My son decides to bike right through a group of people openly drinking in the park (which is illegal). As he gets closer a fight breaks out. A full fledged fight. My son is oblivious. I have to yell to get their attention. Luckily they move out of the way and they apologize. I’m thankful I’m white.
I’ve driven on the highway and pulled over late at night and had the drug dog search my car. I was very thankful I was white that night.
I’m not sure there is an easy answer other than we need to have laws, and people who break the law need to be held accountable. There are two instances there where I really was worried for myself or children and race really didn’t have anything to do with it. Just because they were different color from myself doesn’t mean that what they were doing was ok?? The one with the gun on the highway scared the heck out of me.
At the park, luckily no one in my family was hurt. Do I think the police needed to be involved? Yes on both. Could the police have shot them?? Who knows, but having laws and conforming to laws needs to be a citizen call to action. There is NO WAY I would like to be a peace officer, just like there is NO WAY I want to violate the law or get shot or have my kids injured.
Just some perspective from an uneducated white guy
For crying out loud (which everyone seems to be doing now), many groups have experienced oppression, including white “privileged” groups such as the Jewish community. Now it seems that every group is clamoring for the “I’m more victimized (marginalized, discriminated against) than you are”. There’s no excuse for discrimination, but no honor or progress in racing to see who’s the biggest victim either. Channel that energy into promoting education, work ethic, and community support of families to encourage the former.
When I was about six years old, I was riding my bicycle on the street in front of our suburban Atlanta home. As I rode down the street, I waved to our new neighbors. Their son’s name was Curtis. He was about my age. We had played some together after their moving in. Curtis was standing on his porch watching as I rode by that morning. Suddenly, up the street walks a group of about five teenage boys. They were talking and joking as they walked. My plan was to ride by them and wave, as I had just done with Curtis. These boys instantaneously had a “different plan.” They ran over to me, surrounded my bike, began slapping me in the head and face, kicking me, punching me, and shoving me off my bicycle and to the pavement. They were laughing and calling me racial slurs. Finally, they took my bicycle – stomped on it until the front tire was grotesquely bent, and then threw the bike on top of me. They walked away, laughing at the horror they had seen in my face, and the pain and humiliation they had left behind in my six year old body and mind. My knees and elbows were bleeding, and every muscle in my body ached from the barrage of punches I had received. My “friend” Curtis stood on his front porch, watched the entire incident, and never lifted a finger to tell his parents or come to my defense in any way. There is no punchline to this story. I am a white person. I was doing no one any harm by riding my bike in the street at age six. The teenage boys that did this were black. My “friend” Curtis was also black. So, your lecture about white privilege rings very hollow. Evil has no color. It exists in the heart of any race of people that seeks to inflict pain and suffering on others simply because they look different. I am now sixty years old, and this traumatic moment is as fresh today in my mind as it was fifty-four years ago. But, stories like mine are not freely told today, because they do not fit the template of politically correct tales of “white privilege.” Blacks are not always the victim, and whites are not always the guilty party. If you are going to tell stories of racism and abuse, then tell them all.
Everyone goes through ugly/insensitive comments throughout their life time. Poor people (me), women (me), people who didn’t go to college (me), and others as well. I’ve worked in an office full of people, mixed gender/races. Since I didn’t go to college, I was a hard worker and did well on the job. But, was not ever promoted. Sufficeth to say, many others were. Every black women who was ever my boss, treated me like crap. I never (EVER) considered the thought that they didn’t deserve to be promoted. While I applauded every effort on any human to succeed and be promotable, they still treated me like crap. I never had a pool, so no one ever threw rocks in my pool, but black people said a lot of bad things to me. I’m getting real sick of people saying I am “privileged”. I never had anyone that wouldn’t sell me for a quarter to get what they wanted. I’ve never had a privileged moment in my life, not from anyone, anywhere….ever! So, you can point out those few people who said bad things that hurt your feelings, but don’t you dare put all white people into a category of privilege because you got your little feelings hurt one time, way back when one person was a bad person and said something ugly or insensitive. Black people are just as guilty of saying bad/insensitive things, as are all humans. you wouldn’t want me to blame the entire black race on the few bad things black people have said or done to me??
And white defensiveness rears it’s head as usual. You COULD stop trying to assuage your misplaced guilt and learn something about SYSTEMIC racism….or just keep excusing yourself of culpability and the responsibility to create social change. Yeah, much easier to just keep denying the experiences of all people of color. That method really works for YOU.
Thank you for your heartfelt narrative. However, I don’t find it particularly convincing.
People say insensitive things, especially as children. Hurtfulness is not limited to race. Others are ridiculed for having a large nose, being overweight or scrawny, being a “Pollack:, etc. Dark skin is merely one target of opportunity among many for those who feel so insecure about themselves as to cast aspersions at others.
Yes, is is inappropriate to assume that you got into college by affirmative action. Yet affirmative action exists, and for the express purpose denoted by your detractors: to have a person of color accepted at the cost of someone else who thereby is not accepted. The existence of affirmative action is the racism of low expectations; it expressly assumes that blacks cannot get by without extra help from whites. Your success in school disproved the notion; many accepted under affirmative action have been unable to meet that challenge, dropping out, and would perhaps have been more successful in a less rigorous school. Far from working for a colorless society, affirmative action institutionalizes racism.
There are lots of arrogant bosses who think that questioning their judgment is arrogant and stupid. I’ve seen it and experienced it. It is irrespective of gender and melanin content. Solipsism is not mitigated by another person’s skin color. At one point I decided that I didn’t want to work for a solipsistic boss, and left the job for something else.
Your point about your husband’s auto strategy was well made. I’ve known people who followed similar plans to avoid unwarranted attention by cops and all. The need arises because of profiling, a strategy of police to find perpetrators. To be fair to cops, though, if there were no benefit at all in catching criminals they would be unlikely to use it. As a white teenager (I’m still white, but not teenaged) i was profiled by shopkeepers as a potential shoplifter. On one occasion my uncle was with me, and was more offended by it than I was. I recognized that shopkeepers need to contain pilferage of their goods.
No doubt an accumulation of small things can turn into a big thing. Snowflakes can eventually become an avalanche. No doubt there are real instances of harmful racism. But categorizing a bunch of insensitive comments, especially when it amounts to “sour grapes”, as “white privilege” doesn’t add up. Correlation and causality are not necessarily the same thing.
You said, “yet affirmative action exists, and for the express purpose denoted by your detractors: to have a person of color accepted at the cost of someone else who thereby is not accepted. The existence of affirmative action is the racism of low expectations; it expressly assumes that blacks cannot get by without extra help from whites. ”
I don’t think that is what affirmative action is. Certainly not “at the cost of someone else who is thereby not accepted.” I think it does bump up some people’s chances based on a quota like system where we want our workplaces, schools, neighborhoods to represent overall society in terms of diversity.
I think affirmative action acknowledges that there are huge gains to be made in our understanding of other people if we can live with them study with them work with them, play with them. It acknowledges that a large part of the personal bigotry that we see in some people is because the “other” is unknown and therefore frightening. What we want is for humans to see other humans AS humans, as individuals with their own strengths and weaknesses, hopes and fears, etc. But so long as things are separate, there are not so many opportunities for that.
But personal bigotry is different than systemic racism, or “White Supremacy” – which is the overall term for what we are individually describing as “White Privilege”. White Supremacy is a societal system PoC are pulled over with an alarming frequency for “infractions” that would otherwise be ignored by law enforcement. And then that list of infractions is used as “evidence” that the PoC have a greater propensity to crime. White Supremacy is what we are trying to cure when we say “Black Lives Matter”, even if we don’t add the obligatory “TOO” at the end.
I have experienced most of the negatives in her list and I’m white. what kind of privilege does that mean i have?
I’m white and didn’t begin to understand white privilege until about 15 years ago when a personal incident opened my eyes and propelled me into work that continues today. I wrote the novel, Polarity in Motion, about a 15 year old white girl who is victimized by a cruel photo prank. Her struggle to get beyond it, takes her on a journey that opens her eyes to her own white privilege. Her life is counterbalanced with that of a black teen boy. At one point he says, “I guess people don’t see their own way of seeing.” Below is a poem about the struggle of seeing white privilege:
Visible barriers unseen by choice,
Trip and trap innocents who have no voice.
Why choose not to see clear inequity?
I tore the curtain down and roared, “I see inequity.”
But countless veils, shifting and sheer, deftly blinded me.
So I, pumped with pride, still failed to see the way I see.
Veils, unseen and unnamed,
Will unremoved remain.
Brenda Vicars
Anecdotal accounts are everywhere on this site. Everyone suffers discrimination for some reason or other. The difference for black people is the quantity and the level of hatred involved. I live in a very liberal area but my 3 black step children who went to prestigious prep-schools and college were constantly dealing with racial epithets, put-down slurs, police harassment, and at one point a district attorney who doctored evidence to make a white kid who attacked my step son appear the victim. That DA was exposed and fired. Please reveal to me a white person that by the age of 20 had suffered serious discrimination at least 100 times. Until I married my brown wife I had no idea of how awful and degrading it can be.
Why is it that KKK people, white supremacists neo-natzis are left to their views but, when black people suffering constant police brutality, speak out saying that black lives matter too, they are hammered in the press and ridiculously accused of trying to say that “only” black lives matter. Rogue bad cops should be removed from police departments but instead they are defended by right wing press, protected by the police departments and evidence is suppressed.
Incredibly well said. I wish more people could be like you and your friend – able to talk about such a hot button issue with civility in an effort to understand.
In the fifties when “South Pacific” was filmed, Oscar Hammerstein was critcized for a song he wrote for it ,but I’m so glad the naysayers didn’t prevail because I think it says it all:
You’ve got to be taught to be afraid of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a different shade,
You, e got to be carefully taught.
You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight
To hate all the people your relatives hate,
You’ve got to be carefully taught.
You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear
You’ve got to be taught from year to year
It has to be drummed in you dear little ear
You have to be carefully taught.
Thank you sooo much for sharing this!
Only problem I have with the article is this….you said “I’m cherrypicking because none of us have all day” and “this ain’t the half or the worst of it”….
– We should have all day when it comes to important issues and educating society
– I want to read about the other half of it
– I want to read about the worst of it
I think it is important to talk about it, share it, discuss it, etc.
And, as someone who is a beneficiary of white-privilege (as you so clearly made me aware), what can I do to help?
Thank you again
Signed,
White and Not Racist!
Lori, thank you so much for this insightful and impactful article. You have expertly put into words what seems to confuse most people. Not sure why, but I think this should clear things up for everyone. I write paranormal fiction and get many double takes when I say the main character is black, female, highly successful and filthy rich! It used to make me mad, but now I just laugh and keep on going. Awesome article and awesome site! Thanks for the good news. READER FOR LIFE!
Hi, I read your article and it is very accurate for this situation and close to what I have seen and experienced as a white male growing up in a white neighborhood during the same time period. The difference being I lived in a lower middle class neighborhood, but it was mostly white and there was always just a few black students in school. After the Vietnam war many refugees from Vietnam and Cambodia were placed in the community. Like physics where for every action there is an opposite an equal reaction the same is true when you put a single white person into a dominate black neighborhood.
I do have many personal situations that cross the race lines. Some of them will people would feel were racism or ‘privileged’, but I can ensure you my parents did raise me to treat all as equals and judge everyone based on the inside not on looks. To me, the color of skin is pert of looks. Just like if they are skinny, fat, rich, poor, ugly or beautiful. I always try to pay attention to the environment around me and not to offend anyone. My favorite comedians growing up, and I always loved stand-up even as kid, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, and Robin Williams. I knew all of their routines and imitated them every chance I had. I learned at a very young age that most of it I couldn’t do or say in public or around adults. I could with my friends regardless of race, but I would have to make sure I wasn’t being over-heard. During that time Polish jokes were the in thing as well, and my step-grandfather was 100% polish. It was okay to say any Polish joke I wanted at anytime. I could make any white joke I wanted without anyone taking it to serious or getting personally offended by it. Having a person become famous simply based on the words they use to the point the entire country wants to mimic that same person, and then tell another race they can’t mimic them because they are of different race is not “privileged”. In fact it is the complete opposite. You would never see anyone get in an uproar because someone mimicked Robin Williams, Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, or Martin Short because they were not white.
My parents both worked. My mom went school at night and my dad did side jobs as a car painter at night so that we could live in the neighborhood we did. We did not have a lot, and I literally started working at age 5. I would sand and mask cars as high as I could reach for $.25 for AMC Jeep where my dad was a manager until I started school. After that I only worked at night and summers with my dad. By age 7 I started watching myself after school. By age 8 I started going door to door after school to wash cars, mow lawns, rake leaves, and clean gutters. My goal was to quit each night when I made $10. Good money in the 70’s for an eight year old. When I was 15 I got my first “real” job working in a bakery. One of the most famous bakeries in the Pacific Northwest was Frisbees. It is where Frisbees were invented from. The UW students used to throw empty pie tins back and forth. By the time I was of working age, mid 80’s, the neighborhood where the bakery was located was in the worse gang territory in the state. At one point the National Guard had a shoot-out in the streets with the gangs. I had a friend who worked there as a second job. He really wanted me to work there also. Back then I worked 10pm to 6am so I could still go to school. Ron would have to meet me at one job site that was a neutral location and drive me into the neighborhood. He would tell me not to say anything and let him do all of the talking. Every single night I would have at least one gun pulled on me because I was white and have to wait for Ron to talk to them just to get to the job site. Having a gun pulled on you two nights a week for a year because I am white was not a privilege I wanted.
Even though I worked 80 a week graveyard while in high school I was still one of the top students in school and at that time the only student ever allowed in AP computer science as a Junior. That is because I went to North Seattle Community College when I was 13 for the brand new study of computer science. I didn’t go to college after high school, honestly I was burned out already and I was told that unless I got a scholarship there was no money for school. One thing led to another I started a family a year after graduating. We had bought a condo, made a profit, sold it and bought a old Victorian by the ocean all by age 20. Being so young I didn’t realize how bad of a decision that would end up being. There wasn’t any work out by the ocean and even in the lumber industry was going bankrupt because of the spotted owl. Displaced workers were getting a free education at Grays Harbor Community College, and yes they were white. But, I wasn’t part of the lumber industry I had to pay my own way at age 21. Now unemployed, living on a $315 welfare check and food stamps with a wife and 2 young daughters, I went back to school so I could get back to work. My parents paid for the first year and it was all the money they had and huge burden on them. Because anything over 17 credits was the same cost I took as many as allowed, 24-27 credits per quarter. My main study was engineering and so I took Chemistry, Physics, Computer Science, Mathematics, and Engineering classes. I was the top student in every class and at the school. They actually approached me and ask me to tutor students for pay including students in the same classes as me. At the end of the first year I had already done a year and a half of studies towards my degrees, yes plural. I needed financial help to finish. I was told financial help was on needs basis and not based on academics. I didn’t get the opportunity to go back to school again until I was in my 40’s and my kids were finishing up their schooling. Not a single white person got a scholarship from the school. I had a wife 2 kids living on welfare and food stamps and waiting in line to get help with the power bill because the welfare check only paid 90% of the mortgage and I was the best student in the entire school. And, I was found not to be in enough need for a scholarship. I understand where you are coming from when a white person claims it was taken from them. But as the white person it truly was taken from it is not a privilege. And, to be completely honest it was not given to a black person in my case, it was given to Native Americans. But regardless, race was a determining factor.
I agree with you on how race is used in the media and it is unfair. Why do they use a black person to tell a story about black people? And a Hispanic to tell a Hispanic story? Why does a persons race even have to be mentioned when talking about a person or a news story? To truly eliminate racism in the country we need to talk about the real issue and not even include the race anywhere in the story or communication. Jobs and social benefits need to be for the best qualified. To encourage females or minorities and give the special consideration is always going to cause tension from the opposite group who felt that they were more qualified, but had to go through harder qualifications because they were male or didn’t get a job because the company didn’t have the right amount of minorities working for them. As a society we need to eliminate any group that only caters to one gender or race, otherwise we as a society are causing racism. Do I feel white or privileged? Yes, some but not all. Do I think certain races get unfair treatment? Yes, but not by the majority.
I read an earlier story about a black guy entering an elevator with a group of white people. All of them of the same wealth class and entire. The women clinch their purses and show signs of fear. The black guy smiles and makes jokes to put everyone at ease. He doesn’t like that he has to do it and refers to white privilege. Take that same scenario in a lower class neighborhood and make the elevator full of black women and a white man. Is it not just the same? The do we call it black privilege? No, because that would be insensitive.
As a white grandmother of two biracial (white/Hispanic) and one Asian grandchildren, I was glad to read your article. I hope I can better understand when they receive comments like those mentioned in the article, because they are “different”. I believe ignorance causes much of our world’s problems. I had a sister who was born with physical disability, but better than average mental abilities, and she was treated much this same way because of people’s ignorance and unwillingness to accept those who are different! God created us all in His image, and we all should be able to live in peace!
Thank you for posting this. As a middle class straight white guy I kinda feel like I won the circumstance lotto , so articles like this help put other folks lives into perspective. I guess the question from me is “where to next if we’re gonna fix this?”
I’m curious if Lori received any “black” privilege financial support to assist her with attending Harvard back in the day? Any help from the “United Negro College Fund”, etc.?
Lori, while I appreciate your insight into your personal experiences, let me share mine as a white male growing up in the 60’s & 70’s won’t you.
As a child I was a bit overweight, and was scarred early in life when school children called me fatty and fatso and tubby. It really hurt and affected me in a negative way you can imagine. Was that white priviledge?
During high school years my family moved into an affluent neighborhood, with a pool. some local neighborhood kids decided they didn’t like us coming into their neighborhood and threw bottles of ammonia into our pool. Look it up, much worse than rocks, when ammonia mixes with chlorine it can cause a gas that kills you. White privilege again? Later in high school I encountered many teachers who were kind and helpful, and very good, while I also endured several who had it out for “jocks” which I was by then. You see I shed my fat and worked hard to get into shape and excel at sports, no longer was I called fatty, however then I was labelled a jock. Well you can imagine the heartbreak I endured when the teachers baited me and tried to embarrass me in class with the harder questions while trying to show the class that a jock can’t be smart. It only made me study harder so the teachers could not embarrass me, or make me look foolish. More white privilege I suppose. Also in high school, I admit I was a bit reckless and careless behind the wheel and I had my share of traffic altercations, some I was definitely targeted as the small town I lived in and a few I drove through to get to school and church and grocery stores etc., , they knew that I had altercations and was a potential trouble maker, so they profiled me. I hope you realize white men can be profiled as well. I had to really watch and try hard not to drive one mile over the speed limit or use my turn signal, come to a complete stop counting one one thousand, two one thousand three one thousand before proceeding etc etc etc., so I wouldn’t give them reason to pull me over. I had committed some offenses, so that made me a target, so I had to clean up my act or face the consequences, as a few policemen seemed out to get me for sure. More white priviledge I guess. Also in high school I worked at a few minimum wage jobs but had the opportunity to get a great construction job for several summers in a row with a great construction company with lots of upcoming jobs at excellent pay. This would get me some excellent earnings and I was in shape and could handle the work with ease. I was so excited, but then the call came, sorry, affirmative action of the 70’s made the company hire more black workers so they couldn’t hire me because I was white. I was even told I was more qualified, but there was nothing they could do. Privilege huh? I was back fending for myself and did make it through, but sure would have loved that job! In college I also had my share of teachers who simply didn’t like me because I seemed popular or funny or , God forbid even smart for a jock type dude. But I worked hard to give every teacher what they required, even if I knew some of it was extra tough and strict, and I was profiled. But I did it, just like you did. I couldn’t get any government assistance for school either, because we were white and privileged, so my mom and dad had to both work very hard to send myself and my brothers and sisters through college, which they did. More white privildge. After graduation I was fortunate to land a pretty good job, in my father field although not at the same company just the same industry, why, because I worked for a guy in that same industry during college and he told his associates about the great job I did for him while in school and they hired me. Shortly after being hired they changed my deal and I was now making HALF the starting salary they had promised. A boss that took advantage of me and my situation and didn’t really give a darn about it. Tough to take, yes, but It made me work even harder so others would notice my work ethic and about two years later I was hired by a better firm and able to move on with my career. More privilege I suppose you would call it? I would call it handling adversity and growing myself into a better person and picking myself up by the boot straps and making something out of my life. Taking my God given talents, whatever they were and making the best out of any or every situations to better my position in life. It appears you have done the same, and I am sorry you had to endure some ignorant episodes from some ignorant people, but please lets not blame so called white privilege on your lot in life, as we all live in AMERICA and all have AMERICAN PRIVILEGE . When you fall into the trap the race baiters like Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton who only want to divide us, then you adhere to the white priviledge argument and that really is racist in and of itself. We all face adversities and I do understand that black people have it tougher at times in some areas of the country, especially, but please don’t blame others. Seems you did pretty well, as have so many others in this wonderful country, but some people just like to blame and not take responsibility for their own actions and their own lot in life. And sometimes, knowing what you know you have to play the game to get ahead, ALL of us do, not white black hispanic again or anything, sometimes you have to do something uncomfortable or hard or outside of your comfort zone, but all of that experience creates who you are. And if you work through it all, you can be proud of who you are. I am very proud of who I am and didn’t take any hand outs to get here. I could have turned any one of the few instances i mentioned above (and there were many more) into something ugly and my life would have spiraled into a much different direction. I didn’t because I knew I had to conform to whatever was asked of me at the time and change myself to make it work. But I am awfully lucky and blessed that I did. I didn’t blame anyone else either. AMERICAN PRIVILEGE , is what we have if we choose to take advantage of it.
Lori,
I appreciate you taking the time to post your thoughts and experiences. I think it’s always important that we all speak candidly if we’re ever going to truly understand each other.
With that being said, I must say that I find the whole topic of white privilege to be offensive. As you are fighting and requesting that people look past color, you are making comments based on color.
People need to consider that prejudice is everywhere. We don’t live in Utopia. We were created to be imperfect. As a result people will always make comments about things that are different or out of THEIR ordinary. I can tell you that throughout my life I was raised to be respectful to everyone regardless of their color,, their religion, or their place in life.
I can tell you that when I was in college I was working at a retail store. There was group of black girls that I considered to be my friends and that I laughed and talked and worked with on a regular basis. At lunch breaks they would all go out to lunch together. So I finally asked if I could meet them for lunch. They looked at me as if I had two heads. Then they said they hadn’t asked me because I was white. I told them I would like to join them if that would be OK with them. And we all went to lunch and got over it. But I can tell you that it was very uncomfortable. And while I had in my head that we were no different, they saw me as very different. Does that mean there was black privilege?
I can also tell you that there have been numerous occasions where I have had friends with whom I have experienced similar things. I have a coworker who is a black male. He’s like my big brother. He has invited me on numerous occasions to come out to happy hour. When I arrive at the bar I am the only white person there. I can tell you that there have been times that I have received some unhappy looks from the women in attendance. I always make a point to acknowledge them and talk with them. And we usually end up as friends. Does that mean they were experiencing black privilege?
When I graduated from college I worked with a sports agent. I can’t tell you the amount of disrespect and prejudice women receive the professional sports arena.
My point is this. We all have our own set of prejudices. We all live in a world where we have to capitalize on our advantages, and minimize our disadvantages.
Prejudice is based on the lack of communication, which causes a lack of understanding, and for people to rely on what they have heard or learned in limited experiences. In short it is based on ignorance.
What is going on right now with the police is nothing short of the breakdown of our society. Are there policeman with prejudice? Yes. Are there black citizens with prejudice against the police? Yes. The problem is this. Too many generalizations are being made on both sides. It’s a vicious cycle. Black men find themselves in uneasy when being pulled over, based on their own limited experiences are what they have heard. Policemen may be overly sensitive for their safety when pulling over people based on their limited experiences or stories that they’ve heard.
So what’s the answer? I think there needs to be a presumption of innocence on both sides. When being pulled over the policemen should approach citizens using normal caution, because they are unaware of who exactly they are approaching. We could be someone with mental illness’s, it could be someone of a violent nature or someone who is just committed a crime who want to invade the police. Policeman have no idea what they’re walking into each and every day. Citizens need to respect the police walk around with a healthy fear. Citizens need to understand that, and then approach police with caution and with respect for what they do every single day.
We have got to come together as a nation and throw out all of this political correctness! Political correctness does not allow us to speak honestly and openly. And there’s no way that we can come to an understanding of one another without that candid discussion.
Just my two cents.
Karen
As an Overweight white woman, I have experienced the cruel looks of strangers, a roll of the eyes that my suggestions are stupid and losses of opportunity that I felt I was more qualified to receive. The reason I am so sure that these are weight related is because I have not always been overweight and there is a radical difference in the way I am perceived, sometimes even by my family. The fact that these things have happened is no where near a comparison to African Americans and the immense weight on their communities. I personally believe that Obamas presidency has been a catalyst for the current environment. Lets be clear I LOVE HIM. I think he is everything I wanted when I voted for him to be our President. The reason I see him as a catalyst is because of how horrible he has been treated. I cannot think of another president that has been so grossly disrespected and verbally assaulted as he. When the Dixie Chicks criticized George W Bush in London for his (Now well known disaster), They were ostracized, their lives were threatened and they wrote a movie about it. There were and are always going to be racist people in our society, however, the fact that the press, his party and anyone in the world hasn’t jumped onto the highest mountain screaming at the deplorable behavior displayed towards our president is despicable. I am ashamed that in 8 years all the political correctness has prevented everyone from calling a spade a spade. Being the honorable, introspective and gracious man that he is, he has chosen the typical response that doesn’t make waves. Our acceptance and ignoring of the behavior at the highest levels of our government have emboldened the racists in our society and they will champion anyone who says they are right. If I were a young African American person and went to school to learn that anyone can be President, even a black man. Obama reached the pinnacle of success in our country, Harvard, Congress and now President and even with all of those successes, he is still disrespected. As a Young person they must think how will I ever overcome this perception. That must feel inherently unfair and terrible scary for their future.
Thank you for posting this! It is indeed helpful for those of us who did not understand the term and how it might apply to us or what we could do differently to help the human race.
Thank you for sharing your person experiences and your definition of White Privilege. I’m in Madrid Spain right now and I noticed most the people here look as white as myself but are Spanish…. could you expand on that as it seems color of skin (how one looks?) is your focal point unless I’m mistaken…. I’m here with my partner and 10 of his family members from Puerto Rico. All are family and if you lined them up you would get all shades of color. When we are in Puerto Rico skin color is a non-issue… everyone is Puerto Rican, period.
I was actually interested in what you had to say, up until I got to this point…
“I think: “No bitch, the one downtown next to the liquor store.”
But I say, gesturing to my LABELED boxes: “Yes, the one in Massachusetts.”
Then she says congratulations but it’s too fucking late.”
That is where most black people fail, even if you seem to be a respectful person, you let your emotions get the best of you. So much so, that you actually think cursing in your article, that millions of people will see, will help get your point across.
I, personally, have had MANY times when I would have liked to make a scene and use curse words in public, or even just through a complaint on Yelp, but I don’t. I have more respect for myself and the way I portray myself. What good did putting those words in this article do for you? Did it make you feel better? Good, I hope so, but just know that as soon as I read that part, I quit reading and quit caring about what else you had to say.
“As to you “being part of the problem,” trust me, nobody is mad at you for being white. Nobody.”
Having read white’s are the scourge of humanity, I can assure you it doesn’t feel anything like that. In fact, it feels like being somehow responsible for every negative thing that has ever plagued mankind.
First, for one commenter: discrimination is not the same as white privilege. Everyone discriminates. We discriminate on where we buy our clothes, groceries, shampoo, and where we want to live. We discriminate on the schools our children attend and the churches we attend. We discriminate on our friend choices and which family members we want to spend time with. There’s good discrimination and bad. There’s good privilege, and then there’s the kind that benefits some people without us realizing it and without us realizing we’re reinforcing it as it hurts other people.
What I don’t understand is why there are people who think that somehow, this article negates or invalidates their own negative experiences. I’ve been discriminated against several times in my life. But only several. For the writer and all in her community, for all of my black friends and neighbors, they’re discriminated against on a near daily, sometimes multiple times daily, basis. It’s not just socially with other people, but it’s built into our very rules and our laws, our justice system. Profiling.
In the disability community, there’s something in the Americans With Disabilities Act (the ADA) which in part tries to help ensure that Americans who are disabled are treated with respect, dignity, equality, accessibility to everything that non-disabled people have, and that public buildings and areas built and renovated after 1992 are accessible to ALL PEOPLE. We’re still fighting this fight, as it’s a Civil Rights and Human Rights issue. However there are people who, as we fight for equal rights, feel that we’re asking or demanding for an unfair advantage when what we’re really doing is demanding an equal playing field. When we get pulled over by police, we may not worry they’ll discriminate against us if we’re white, profile us that way, but if we can’t perform the way they demand due to a particular disability then we’re suddenly non-compliant even if we physically or cognitively are incapable. Laws are in place to protect us from discrimination of that sort except by law enforcement. We fight for these things as a disability community, whether it’s visible physical disabilities, invisible physical disabilities (think heart disease, Fibromyalgia, bladder problems, breathing issues, etc.), mental health and cognitive disabilities, etc.
But people take it as a personal insult, an offense, that disabled people dare want to be treated properly as if their own lives were at stake or something were being taken away from them. As if they were being made less special somehow. As if treating others with respect and not as Other were painful for them.
Well, Title 9 affords the same thing for people who are non-white and that fight has been going on as a Civil Rights and Human Rights Movement in America for decades. There’s hate and spite over the fact that black people and other non-white people are speaking up and need to be heard. Just like the women’s rights movement… when women speak up and demand respect what are we called? Oh right…. we’re likened to Germany’s Hitler and his nazis being called feminazis. Because nazis are threatening and oppressive and offensive therefore feminists, women, those who support women, are also threatening, oppressive, and offensive.
These movements aren’t going away. #BLM isn’t going away. I hope that I understand and respect it better because of the other movements I belong to, but I apologize if I’ve overstepped.
Ms. Hutcherson: Your piece came heartily recommended to me by a friend whose opinion I regard highly. After reading it, I can see why she felt that way.
I wonder, however, if you would mind participating in a small thought experiment:
As of 2014, Asian-Americans earned an average of 105% of the per capita income that white Americans did, and 173% of what black Americans earned.
What I would love to hear you do, Ms. Hutcherson, is address a different concept for me, if you would:
“Asian privilege”.
I don’t see anything like Asian Privilege at all within the United States. Sure these people come here for a purpose, to better their position in life mostly in the freedom for all that the U.S. offers over what they experience in their homeland. They migrate, leaving what they are familiar with to enter completely into a strange environment. This takes courage on their part. In dialoging with my Asian friends they tell me that they are only working the system as it is set up in the U.S. freedom for all and they work hard within their family structure to advance financially. Something that we citizens of the U.S. have become weak in doing and thus have lost our focus by wanting everything to come to us instead of getting out there and working our butts off as I see my Asian friends doing. Our financial mindset is now corporate minded instead of hard-working-family-oriented. In this alone is found the percentage difference that you quote. They are not privileged, they are hard working people which has earned them your label of being privileged. Please know that I say this in all respect to your right to your own opinion.
Thanks for your reply.
My point, and I’m reasonably sure I had one, is that it’s just possible “culture” is a better explanation for the slights the original author has cited than “privilege”…
Asians in America clearly lack privilege. Just as clearly, their culture(s) revere education, hard work and self-denial in favor of the extended family, especially one’s elders.
And you can see the results.
I myself have wanted to ask the same thing, I am a white woman with not a very good understanding of where so many of these African Americans are coming from. I do not look at people as different from me. Your list does open my eyes to some very insensitive individuals who are ignorant. However, rocks in the pool, that’s just a hey you are the newbies in the neighborhood. Most likely nothing to do with color as you said, you became very good friends. The Harvard thing, I would have asked a white person the same question. Getting into Harvard is a huge thing at least to me. I would ask to be sure before just assuming as I know of at least 3 schools that go by Harvard. I am so very sorry about the way you are your family were treated in those other instances. Not all white people are racist and I think some just assume we all are because of some that are. That to me is racial profiling against me as a white individual. I myself am probably not the best educated in this situation but the biggest thing I have an issue with is the burning or destruction of the American Flag by African Americans. I was not there during the time of the Civil war obviously but the American Flag was flying high on the side to free the African Americans. That flag was flying high as individuals fought for what they believed was the rights of those individuals under the Constitution. Did they believe that they should have the same rights as Whites no but they still fought for their freedom. To see that flag being destroyed today is disgrace. I would also like to mention that black people have issues with white people just as much at least in my experience. While living down South my Oldest daughter and I went to church with my Brother and Sister -in-law at the time. I should mention her father is African American so we went to their church which was all African American. Both of them were very active in the church so we had to sit by ourselves as they were up front with the choir and other members. I have never felt so unwelcome in a place of God before or after that day. They were offended that I was white and had not left my African American boyfriend to someone who could appreciate him, someone of the same descent. I loved him, no matter what the color of his skin was and to this day even though we are no longer, I still do and I always will. After about a 1/4 of the sermon I took my daughter into the nursery and that is where I stayed for the remainder of the service. I could not even tell you what the sermon was about I was that upset. I went home and told him and he thought I was misunderstanding them. He has since married and she too is white. Needless to say, they no longer attend that church as she was received with the same respect I was. I worry that some day as my daughter moves into her own life that she will endure some of what you have mentioned but I also know I have raised a strong young lady and she will fight for what is right and I will never see her rude to any one in either race or destroy an American Flag. The road definitely goes both ways and I am truly tired of hearing about White Privilege and Black Lives Matter. We all matter and we all live the life we make. Yes there are horrible people in both races, that doesn’t mean we all are or that one of us deserves something to be handed to us on a silver platter without hard work and dedication. I am sure this will fall on deaf ears but I feel good to get this out and off my chest
Lori: I read your article on White Privilege and it hurts all over again to experience through you the disgrace we people place on one another based on our heritage. It refreshes in my mind my own experiences. I have many friends of all color; red, yellow, black, white. Because I treat everyone the same all too often I am labeled white trash by my white friends. This hurts while it places me within their dumpster mind set. I don’t appreciate being label by someone looking into their own mirror and judging me according to what they see in themselves. After all we know ourselves the best and most often while being critical of others we are most benevolent of ourselves. Where is the compassionate love in this; an understanding of one another life dilemmas? Of course I am white and at times like this it does embarrass me. But in an open dialog with all my friends I find that there are prejudices in all races. If it isn’t all White it’s discrimination; if it isn’t all Black it’s discrimination; if it isn’t all brown it’s discrimination; if it isn’t all yellow it’s discrimination; if it isn’t all red it’s discrimination. and this mind set even extends into social issues; if it’s not all male it’s discrimination; if it is not all female it’s discrimination; if it isn’t all LGBT it’s discrimination while I realize that we are not discussing social issues but privilege; the point is, we are all pushing our own agendas. And I am not suggesting that this is where you are coming from. Come On people where is our respect for humankind? We are all people created equal with no prejudices attached. Not one of us is privileged over another in the eyes of the Divine and most certainly not because of skin color. We are all held in the highest esteem in the eyes of the Creator. But of course this all breaks down when we humans attempt to take the place of God in another life. And I’m really not a religious person. The point being: that no one is to be categorized by skin color or intelligence or anything else for that matter but to be considered with respect, honored as the individual that we truly are. In this individualism we all stand alone lacking the respect of those who wish to pigeon-hole us into a closed minded society. Lori, I not only hurt for you, know that I hurt with you. FYI I am an author. I haven’t really delved into social issues as we are discussing however this is all changing due to my most recent book: Butterfly Magick, A Radical Scientific Approach in How All Life Matters; to be published in early 2017. The Butterfly Effect states that in everything that we do or say it has a downstream effect / affect BTW my birthday in July found me to be 79. 🙂
Fantastic article. I enjoyed the read and the time put into it, but, more importantly, standing up with dignity, respect and honor. I think we as a society are in a big pickle. While I am white, I have a strong interest to understand basically everything you spelled out. Thank you for not being angry and expressing the hate. All the best to a more united front!! Each can do that by being the bigger person. I am not sure I could say, that in your situation, that it would be that easy.
I have amazing friends of all races, creed, color etc. Working in EMS, I have the luxury to work with all as well as treat and help all. For that, I am honored to be in such a great position.
It’s ok to have groups, just that we respect each other and the backgrounds we all come from.
I am a middle aged white female. When I first heard the term “white privilege” I was taken aback…I’m not privileged bla bla bla. Then I really considered it and was able to relate to it by remembering how the non wealthy (me) often think of the wealthy: everything is easy, doors open for them, etc etc. It is not an exact analogy, obviously, but helped me understand. There is a lot of work to be done before we humans come to see only one race, the human race. I hope it happens soon for all our sakes.
Well, Lori, white privilege is not a disease, something you “have,” like a cold; you caught it somewhere, from other white people. It is a state of mind, and not all white people have it. You probably do know this. Please do remember there is racism of all kinds, not just white against black. There is even racism of blacks toward whites! (And not just in big ways but the same little ways you describe, and I could write a list of these also, from my own experience.) If you want to be more sensitive toward whites, as I am sure you do as you want everyone to be more sensitive toward others, you might try not characterizing this as some kind of white disease. Racism is universal. Also, though I doubt you intend it, you seem to set yourself up as some kind of oracle dispensing racial sensitivity to the “poor, ignorant white folk” who are too stupid to understand for themselves. Perhaps this is a product of your “educational privilege”?
Privilege right there…
Demonstrate, don’t just assert something. State where I wrote something in this comment that demonstrates white privilege?
Well, how about starting with this statement:
[White privilege] “is a state of mind, and not all white people have it.”
Misunderstanding that white privilege does not need to be learned, or caught like a disease. It begins at birth. Just by being born white, you have won a racial lottery. Refusing to recognize that is a stellar example of white privilege.
I worked in a prosecutors office so I can give you plenty of examples of white privilege in the criminal justice system…..
It is very interesting, when an African American gets into UCLA and a white person says it’s because of affirmative action, that’s racists. But when white people succeed and African Americans claim it’s only because of white privilege, that’s being enlightened.
As a white male, her referring to white adult males as “white boy” is very, very offensive and very racist.
Sigh,
As I read this, I felt compelled to write my thoughts. I never knew I had “white privilege.” And I’m not saying it does not exist. But… I mean no disrespect but I feel of late that I am made to feel guilty or bad, about being white. For your consideration I humbly put my thoughts on your subject on my blog here:
http://blog.mrjoeliec.com/?p=337
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One of the most important challenges that cultural geographers have taken on has been to help people realize how privilege works, especially since so many (still, somehow) live in blissful ignorance of it. Here are ten highly personal examples from Lori Hutchinson.
I have had a hard time understanding white privilege, having grown up poor in a very small town in the midwest. I had a job at the age of 8 mowing lawns and shoveling walks. At 10… I also started a paper route. At 12 years of age, I also started mopping floors and cleaning machines at a laundromat….all so I could buy my own school supplies, school clothes and help my parents pay the utility bills. At 16, I was working 40 hours + per week at a restaurant, so I could pay for my car insurance and eventually buy myself a car. I paid for my own college, and have worked my butt off for everything I have. I finally enjoy some moderate success and have some nice things….but, through my own blood, sweat and tears.
Based on the above alone, I know there are many black people that have been far more “privileged” than me.
However, recently a close friend and I were discussing “privilege”. He asked, “did you know any successful people in Richmond, MO?”. Of course I did….the Gills, Driskills, Mr. Yates…we had Doctors, Lawyers, preachers and teachers that were highly educated…that I looked up to, and wanted to emulate. This friend reminded me….you are privileged to have known these people…because, in many inner cities, there are few role models.
Then he said…how were the tiny Richmond schools…I said excellent! We had many great teachers….teachers that spent their careers in one school…teachers that cared, loved and wouldn’t let us just “rest”…..inspired and challenged us. Again, this friend said…that is some privilege, because many inner city schools cannot have and attract good teachers.
He said…have you been discriminated against….of course, I have…I am gay! I have been called names, preached at, shoved, hit and spit on. However, I can hide being gay. But, you know what…when a cop stops me….they don’t know I am gay….so, that is a bit of privilege……they won’t automatically discriminate against me, because they don’t know.
When I go in for an interview…I also enjoy privilege….I am a white guy….I have a good resume….good references….I am judged by my abilities, experience and interview prowess…..again, I can be a chameleon…..they won’t know I’m gay…..a black person, is black….and, that is known as soon as they walk in the door…..as messed up as it is…I have privilege in this area. simply by my skin color…..because any pre conceived notion ideas, or prejudices that the interviewer has…can come into play, based on nothing more than the persons race.
Anyway, I now “get it” a little more…..
Thank you, I understand a little better now. Hopefully, I will show a little more courage when one of my friends says something I shouldn’t let go unchallenged.
When your white son starts to date a beautiful black woman and she continually has to tell him, over and over, to make sure his seat belt is buckled before they pull away from the curb and his response is she is just being a pain, which causes her anxiety to notch higher – that is white priviledge.
All day. every day. 24/7. Remember to be careful. Doesn’t matter how tired you are. Today could be that one day. As white people, we really cannot even begin to imagine. But we can – and must – begin to understand just a smidgen. Skin tone never relents.
This is all incorrect. Affirmative Action has given our people a leg up. I can attest, that I as a black man, have endured concomitant brothers/sisters who received their positions not out of merit, but out of skin color. If anyone has privilege these days, it is people of color. No longer does the white man have his privilege. It has been erased with Affirmative Action laws.
Oh so you didn’t get where you are today because of Affirmative Action but you know others who did? Go figure. Maybe if you stopped and did the research you’d find that the largest benefactors of Affirmative Action has been white women. How stupid of you to insinuate “white privilege” doesn’t exist because a few people of color got a job. Like employment is the only place that privilege could possibly exist!!!!
I’ve heard similar accounts from other black people I know. I never really understood what ‘white privilege’ meant, but I know I’ve never had interactions with folks like what is outlined here. Appreciate the clarity being provided on such a sensitive topic. I shared this to my FB community (which is mostly white), and I believe many will benefit from reading this.
Just my two cents worth. When my daughter was five we were moving to another city. She went with me while I visited the elementary school that she would attend if we bought into that area. While I spoke to the office staff, she approached a little girl her age who was playing with some toys. My daughter asked “Can I be your friend?” As she did to any child in a play setting. It was only a few minutes later that she came to me sad saying that the little girl had said, “I don’t think we can be friends.”, when my daughter questioned why she was told “because you are white” My daughter was not taught racism, but evidently this little girl had been.
I found the article educational and enlightening but I am not sure I agree with all 10 points being purely racist. I do recognize that I
am only getting a glimpse of a lifetime of oppression and hate and respectfully acknowledge that. My own perspective is not like your own and it never will be. I do know with certainty that no one deserves to die in a maliciously tragic way, the way we have lost so many have recently. We will never truly be able to understand each others perspectives and we will never be able to understand the hurt, shame, and anger brought about by those experiences but it does not make them more or less valid and painful. if #BlackLiveMatter is important to you by all means embrace it. You are my fellow human being and just because I don’t understand you doesn’t mean I will not respect you.
– Lori Lakin Hutcherson I hope you continue to enjoy success in your life and I hope that the people who take the time to read your article, if nothing else, respect your point of view and embrace it. I am not sure everyone in the comments above are here to share your experiences but to argue the validity of it. I am sorry for your difficult time and hope the beautiful and shinning moments can in some way outshine the darkness and negativity you have experienced and endured.
I am not an author or a writer so I hope you can overlook any errors in my comment above.
Thank you for your very well written and personal article. Painful memories of my own experiences flowed up as I read it. I will not enumerate on those here. When I worked for the Corps of Engineers in Texas, our newly hired architect from Puerto Rico complained to me, “Why do you put up with this blatant racism? We would never allow this in Puerto Rico.” I told him that we have to pick our battles. We can’t fight everybody every day. When racism is blatant and accepted as “normal” or as “no real harm done” by those in authority it is hard to fight.
Hi,
Thank you for your very eloquent editorial. As a white person I just wanted to add specifically to the comments you received when you were accepted to Harvard. I think it needs to be pointed out to those of us who have a problem recognizing it, that we carry an element of racism regardless of our background. The fact that these people asked you, “the one in MA” never occurred to them that question may be racist. They most likely meant no harm and may even be hurt if you (or anyone) pointed that out. However, the fact that it was their first thought and they spoke the words is what we’re talking about here. It didn’t make sense in their brain, and they needed clarification. THIS is what institutionalized racism means. We (yes, I recognize that I’m included in this group) have been conditioned to think along these lines because of our inherent culture. It’s somewhat unconscious. I don’t believe (most times) the conscious intent was to hurt you in any way – it’s just how that person’s brain was conditioned by our culture to react first.
We need to recognize and understand this, everyone. It’s uncomfortable, and it’s emotional. When pointing out something or someone is racist, defenses immediately rise. Most people would probably never consider themselves racist in any way, and I think this is where the confusion with #BlackLivesMatter / #AllLivesMatter specifically shows. It needs to be shown that it’s inherent in the thought process. By becoming more aware of our thoughts and actions as well as what happens around us, we can grow and change.
I hope your friend was able to see things from your perspective and receptive to learning from your experiences. All the best!
[…] https://goodblacknews.org2016/07/14/editorial-what-i-said-when-my-white-friend-asked-for-my-black-o… […]
Very worthwhile read. Thank you for putting it out there for us to read.
To those who will argue #7 & 8, saying its not about race, but about the ego of the offending speaker…
Explain the other eight. If you had to live with the other eight, how would YOU interpret #7 & 8?
Thank you, Lori for a great and insightful article.
I’m sharing your article with everyone I know. I am so sorry people here read it and keep harping on “well, I have it bad too, you know” – a sad commentary on their level of compassion and ability to brush away the filters of their own experiences to see from another’s perspective.
YOUR story stands alone in its raw truth and illuminates what happens in the lives of every person with brown skin to some extent (including a life-ending one) in this country. Thank you for doing what it took to reflect on and write about these experiences.
We have work to do in this country and it starts with dropping the defensive attitude and LISTENING with open ears, hearts and minds.
At some point in a friendship, a friend may come (if s/he feels safe enough or strongly enough) to explain how we’ve done something that caused hurt or harm. It’s a measure of us as friends and as people, if we can listen and acknowledge that we understand how our actions have been received, without seeking to mitigate or justify ourselves.
The first step is to listen and acknowledge we hear and value the other person *enough* to accept his/her experience as it is expressed.
Once we’ve agreed that other person’s life and experience matter, we can go from there.
So let’s start with yes, Black Lives Matter *enough* to make experiences like yours (and white privilege) a thing of the past.
Let’s get to work on that!
I suppose it is also my “privilege” to have UNQUESTIONABLE assumptions based on my skin (white), have my mind read for me by those that do not know me, to have my intentions, my friendships, my accomplishments, my opinions and even my existence colored by prejudiced observations about my “privilege”…. as determined by those who want me to accept things, people, places and even ancient TIMES I can neither be held accountable for nor possibly atone. It is my “privilege” to have to defend myself for my very presence, and this is now the accepted norm— a condition from which there apparently is no cure, for apparently not even death is enough to remove some imagined stain on my honor. Were it anyone else, this would be called racism and bigotry. Beyond sympathy, friendship, brotherhood and compassion, just what the fuck IS IT you would have me DO?
Thank you. You speak for me too, and oh so well.
This is heartbreakingly beautiful and sad and horrific that it even exists. But a thousand thank yous for writing so perfectly to explain it. I am sharing for hopeful enlightenment of others. This needs to stop and none too quickly. Brava beautiful lady, brava!
This is a great response to the question. Thank you.
Excellent article. I am just a average white Dad in Canada living in an average white community. White privilege in MY life….most definitely.
Excellent article. I am just a average white Dad in Canada living in an average white community. White privilege in MY life….most definitely.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I know you didn’t have to and I’m sure it was difficult to relive all of what you shared, but it does help with understanding what is meant by white privilege. As a white woman who grew up middle class, it was only recently that the light turned on for me that while these stories of black men killed are individual incidences to me, to my black friends, they are just evidence of what they have to deal with often on a daily basis. I remember when I was in school and waitressing, and someone left me a negative comment card with the words, “I want to be waited on by a white American.” To this day, I have no real idea of what they meant because I am so fair as to be almost albino looking, but I remember the sense of incredulity and feeling angry because I had been stiffed my tip for something like that. I can laugh about it now because that was one time in 43 years. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if that kind of thing had happened regularly in my life. Anyway, thanks again for sharing your own experiences and being willing to have this conversation. 🙂
Lori, with much respect, I have to disagree. You and I both know that you are the exception. For every point presented, the vast majority of blacks meet the stereotype. Having said that, I completely agree that rushing to judgement based on a stereotype is wrong. Since the Civil Rights Movement, blacks have been afforded every advantage to succeed in academics (most scholarships available) and the workplace (affirmative action, quotas, etc.). For example, your premise, bigotry based on looks, somehow doesn’t apply to the Asian community. How could that be? They look significantly different that “whites”. The difference; they are not linked to extremely high rates of crime and homicide within their community, they achieve high marks in school (even though they cannot relate to the history of our beloved country), they have an entrepreneurial spirit within the community, and on and on…. By and large, the black community still plays the “victim” card, even though today’s blacks are generations removed from any type of discrimination. They lead the pack in welfare, crime, etc. I don’t hold any resentment, I paid my own way through college. I understood that my black friends were awarded pell grants and scholarships that were not available to me. I never thought of it as a privilege though. It is more of a disadvantage if you ask me…
That’s your white privilege talking. Generations removed from racism? So, racial profiling, stop and frisk, resume discrimination are all figments of our imagination? The number one recipient of Affirmative Action has been white women. Whites get about 85% of all non sports scholarships…Yeah, privilege….
Thank you Lori. Extremely helpful and insightful. I’m glad that this conversation can get to this point – where truly well meaning white people can honestly ask “give me examples of white privilege, I’m really clueless” and that those examples which are SO SO SO telling can be shared, and hopefully many people are going to start to grasp this, and to see it for what it is!
When we act as separatists to try and make a point, it only further separates. I am glad to hear and celebrate the good things you share from your editorial, but I feel like an outsider looking in – not necessarily invited in. Is it possible for us to move past our hurt and disdain, so that we can learn to genuinely care for each other? I want to grow my gray matter.
After living in the US for 16+ years, I’m sad to say I can relate to your experiences. Of course, not at the same level, but I have felt hurt quite a few times. Ironically, I have felt the same kind of reactions but not just from white Americans, but also African Americans AND Hispanics. See, I’m a white Hispanic immigrant woman, which means that in spite of having a Ph.D. and being a tenured Assistant Professor I get horrible attitude from some white Americans (last weekend, during one of my kid’s softball game, a couple of elderly grand parents moved down two rows as soon as they heard my mom and I speaking Spanish), African Americans (once a woman refused to seat next to me in a flight until her sister and I started chatting and she told her I was OK because I was Hispanic and worked for a University ), and even non-white Hispanics (several times I have been excluded from converstions at school events and birthday parties because they thought I was “gringa”). My husband, a dark haired white Hispanic, was verbally abused by an elderly man after 09-11… because he looked middle eastern! My kid keeps asking me to make a play date with her friend, a sweet little blond girl, but her mom keeps making excuses. The same has happened with a couple of African American parents, even though our kid’s get along very well…maybe they just don’t like me?? Or her?? Who know! I just don’t know what to tell my kid anymore. This one is good: a white teenager crashed his new car on the back of my old Nissan on my way to teaching my early morning class. His mom arrives, in a very nice and fancy car, then she asks me not to report the car crash since that would affect her insurance premium, and then she said “you and I know we don’t want to have the police involved”… I enjoyed looking at the panic in her face when the police officer asked me to give her my business card… funny thing, the same officer, also white, had followed me on the same road for a couple of miles a few times, and once he stopped me just to tell me that my registration would expire the next month… As you said, those are just a few examples. What can I say! going through each of those experiences leaves a mark in your soul, and I wish I could shield my kids from that pain, but I’m well aware that I can’t. In the end I prefer to think this is an issue that goes well beyond race, it has to do a lot more with stereotypes and the occasional jerk we find in our path. Unfortunately, I don’t have a clue of what can be done. It doesn’t matter how nice and kind I behave, for some I look like the ignorant red neck, to others I sound like the illegal immigrant that steals jobs from “real” Americans…
Sometimes we need to just listen, take heart and appreciate what we are reading, seeing or hearing and reserve judgement. Just appreciate and connect without needing to add our own twist or make our own point. What a beautiful post. What an honest response. What an eye-opener. Thank you.
That was a fantastic article on white privledge. I have in the last few years been working to understand my white privilege. Those were excellent and clear examples. Thank you. Look forward to reading more! – karen
Have your friends listen to Senator Tim Scott (R-SC) share his experiences on the Senate floor. http://legalinsurrection.com/2016/07/sen-tim-scott-shares-personal-stories-of-discrimination/
boy, i’m glad im not black…
I think people are misusing the term “privilege” and that this is reinforcing a lot of bad things.
A “privilege” is something extra that most people do not get… you know like a trust fund, or a free ride at an expensive university or inheriting wealth.
It is not a privilege (for instance) to be allowed to eat.
It is also NOT a privilege to *fail* to be shot in the back of the head while 6 cops pin your beaten (unarmed) and unconscious handcuffed body to the ground. Failing to be murdered by the police is not a privilege. By comparison, killing people like that and not even being tried for it (much less going to prison forever) IS a privilege. It is a privilege police officers have, and other people do not. +They get to keep that privilege no matter who they treat that way (unless of course the victim is wealthy).
It is NOT a privilege to *not* get pulled over by the cops based on a racial (or other) profile that exists in the head of that specific cop (or as a policy of bigotry). The cop is exercising bigotry. Those who are are not effected by THAT officers brand of bigotry are not privileged. They are more fortunate but here the onus of doing the wrong thing is on the cop.
It is not a privilege to not be harassed, bullied, made to be in constant fear, have your home vandalized, be beaten up at school every day (etc) by people who use the excuse of some arbitrary CLASS you happen to fall into. Those sorts of actions are crimes. The crimes are actually committed becasue of problems in the mind of the criminal (often a desire to show that they have power). Not being subjected to all that is supposed to be normal, not a privilege.
It is also NOT a privilege to be hired on the basis of what you can do, but there are a lot of people who can’t get that for a whole lot of reasons. Some people won’t hire fat people, or those who are not into sports, or those with longer hair, or a tattoo or who are not of their religion. Not being singled out into a category of bigotry is NOT a privilege because it is (legally speaking) supposed to be normal. Saying it IS privilege NORMALIZES BIGOTRY.
Being treated equally regardless of some irrelevant class you might fall into is not a PRIVILEGE. That fact is that it is the law (14th amendment in the USA – equal protection clause – and other parts of the world have equivalents). The trouble is that the law is being ignored.
Saying that people who are NOT subjected to illegal or cruel activity has the effect of NORMALIZING that bad activity. It flips “normal” on its head and calls it privilege, instead of calling the ugly actions by the words that properly describe them.
Wonderful post, so glad you took the time to share your experiences! I once had an experience where I was the only white person in the restaurant and the culture was very different to what I was used to…it gave me a little glimpse of what black/brown/people of minority go through everyday. I am saddened that this continues to be an issue to this day…but perhaps little by little as time and generations go by change will come forth.
I was the only white kid in an all black elementary school for 7 years. K-6. I suffered horrendous bullying, vandalism, phyiscal violence, name calling, being told the teachers only gave me good grades because I was white (false, I worked hard and studied and earned all my straight A’s) etc. Not sure what my point here is, other than being any kind of minority anywhere is not fun, and I understand the culture of white privilege, but turn that around and see a white girl experiencing practically identical childhood trauma to this editorial all because of being a diffferent skin color than her peers…what is that called? Certainly not black privilege. Seriously asking.
Thank you for writing this. A remark in the NYT by Roland Fryer, the Harvard economics professor who just published a new study showing bias in police use of force, stunned me more than I can tell you, likely because I am white. Woke me up, and I already thought I was awake.
“Who the hell wants to have a police officer put their hand on them or yell and scream at them? It’s an awful experience,” he said. “Every black man I know has had this experience. Every one of them.”
Taking Larkin’s examples in order:
1. If her family had been Polish, Irish, Jewish, or German, or if one of their children had Downs Syndrome, or was mentally handicapped, or if one of them was ugly, or didn’t dress well, or was a scintilla different in any number of other ways, then cruel local boys would have thrown rocks into their pool, because children are often jackwagons who marginalize and persecute everything that is different from themselves. The same happens in all-white or all-black neighborhoods. The subtle hook in this story is Larkin’s childhood recollection that theirs was the only family whose pool received rocks. She does not explain how she managed to ascertain this. Presumably she or her parents conducted a survey of homes for blocks in all directions? A few simple truths that Larkin speeds right past: First, her family moved into an upper middle class neighborhood, which I see as the result of “American hard-working privilege.” Second, Larkin’s white neighbor immediately respected and believed the report of Larkin’s mom over the neighbor’s own white son. These things are evidence that much progress has been made since Larkin’s slave-trading African ancestors sold some of her other African ancestors to American white people.
2. If Larkin’s older sister had been white, then the boy who she beat her in a race would have called her some other unkind name. And even if it was a name she had never heard before, she would have known there was something wrong with it. We’ve all had the experience of being called a name we didn’t understand, but we somehow intuitively understood that it was intended as an insult, and then confirmed it later by looking it up. People who wish to offend will always isolate and attack whatever attribute is most glaringly different in others. If they are white and you are black, naturally it will be skin color, but the same sort of thing happens just as often when the skin color is the same.
3. Good grief, who doesn’t recall being singled out and humiliated by a teacher? When I was in seventh grade, my teacher gave me a lunch pass to carry around daily that was ten times larger than everyone else’s, written on a giant piece of cardboard. My sin? Irresponsibility. I kept losing my pass. It was embarrassing. In Larkin’s case, I’m guessing that “Mr. Melrose” was a progressive teacher who felt that the best way to deal with tension was by addressing it with head-on humor and good-natured hyperbole. The obvious hypocrisy here is that all of us—black and white alike—occasionally pay good money to hear professional comedians make precisely the same sort of pseudo-racist jokes. The only difference is that Mr. Melrose made the mistake of treating Larkin like an adult.
4. Statistically, there’s a good chance that the white students’ complaint was founded in reality. All else being equal (and often even when they are not equal) colleges and universities do, in fact, give preference to people based on the pigment of their skin, and affirmative action does, in fact, too often result in less academically qualified candidates receiving appointments. Larkin conveniently overlooks the fact that probably ALL of the students had “worked their asses off,” not just the black one.
5. She got accepted into Harvard! Good gravy, she breezes right past that so that she can take offense at the question, “You mean the one in Massachusetts?” (Interestingly, try Googling the phrase, “You mean the one in Massachusetts?” and you will retrieve exactly two hits, both of which link to Larkin’s article.) I can see myself asking the exact same question of anyone, including, but not limited to, my lily-white acquaintances. I am very glad that Larkin included this example because it illustrates the sort of narcissistic victimhood in which she has become accustomed to wallowing and encouraging others to wallow. The fact that Larkin was asked this question three times is harmless. Imagine that I told five random people that my next-door neighbors were named The Flintstones. Even though the answer is obvious, odds are excellent that all five would ask one of two follow-up questions: “You mean Fred and Wilma?” or “Do you live in Bedrock?” It’s called making conversation, Ms. Larkin.
It’s nice that you give a name to things that happen to you because black. But what makes things that happen because black different from things that happen because of other traits? I grew up a nerd. I wax beat up and bullied because I was a nerd. If that didn’t happen to you check your cool privilege. I was excluded from my 6th grade “all star” basketball team, in spite of being on the actual school team, replaced by the cool kid who wasn’t. If you’ve not had that happen, check your cool privliege. I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point.
What makes you different today from people who experienced all kinds of poor treatment based upon who they are?
Thank you, Lori, for the personal examples. We speak so much of the institutionalized and systemic scope of racism and prejudice, in an effort to “sell” its legitimacy to those of privilege, that we are often forced to forego the personal stories of heartbreak, shame, misunderstanding, anger and injustice. I really appreciate you bringing those back into the larger conversation. Hard to read, but real, and so should be read.
Lori,
Thank you so much for this enlightening response. I have often wondered what white privilege meant to others than aren’t white and how much of it I was completely blind or naive to because I’ve never know any different. I know there are probably many things I’ve said or done in life that were probably received as coming from a white privilege background or even possible as being racist without me even knowing simply because I haven’t been on the receiving end of such comments, or because growing up in a predominantly white town had undeniable influence on the way I see thongs that was unbeknownst to me. My only disagreement with your article is that I think you’re being too soft or polite in calling these experiences white privilege. I would call them straight up racism. To me, white privilege is more the opportunities that are afforded to whites simply by the way society is structured because they’re white, some of which they may be aware of, some of which not. To me, privilege implies unintentional. Anything intentional I would consider as racism. Honestly, the more I think I about it, the more I believe that white privilege is simply not being on the receiving end of prejudice for so long and the inadvertent side effects this has caused in society.
I am not in any way trying to make light of white privilege and if anything I said comes across as offensive, I am terribly sorry and it is only because of my ignorance on the subject. I was moreso trying to make a strong distinction between white privilege and racism and reiterate that the experiences you describe I would consider racism more than white privilege, except maybe the first date story.
Again, this is coming from my ignorance. I have several black friends with which I have frequent conversations to try to better understand their experiences and perspectives. I will be the first to admit that I am very culturally ignorant about any other races or cultures other than my own and routinely seek opportunities to learn, they are just few and far between.
Thank you again for your insightful article describing your very personal experiences. I would love to hear any other opinions or thoughts you ha e about anything I’ve said. Your reply would be greatly respected and received with open ears.
Thank you for taking the time to explain this so eloquently. My heart aches.
By listing things which white people have, in fact, experienced as white people, you have pointed out that this ‘white privilege’ doesn’t actually exist. For example, “the white privilege in this situation is being able to move into a “nice” neighborhood and be accepted not harassed, made to feel unwelcome, or prone to acts of vandalism and hostility.” Try being the only white people family in a black neighborhood.
Thank you very much for this blog post. What a great article that should help those of us who are white to understand the daily indignities that you all experience. I know I will work harder to understand and to be more aware of any part I play individually in this whole mess. The unfairness of it is staggering.
[…] The Article Under Scrutiny […]
Can I please just say not all white people have the white people privlage. I’m really sick of this. My mother was the only white person in majority of her classes, the only white person in her neighborhood and she got jumped constantly numerous black females. So what do you have to say about the stupid white privilege now? I’m her area it was the Black privlage. Black people are racist just like white people. Yal just won’t admit it.
What I’m saying is that you don’t know the definition of privilege!!!!
The problem with this editorial can be summarized by examining its title: “What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege”. Lori Hutcherson, a successful, Harvard-educated writer, seeks to sell the world on the idea that even opinions have color. Her opinion is “black”.
Ladies and gentlemen. Opinions and ideas are indeed BLACK and WHITE, but not in the way some think. They are so in that they are written in black ink on a white page (or white ink on a black page with the magic of the internet).
To have value as prescriptions for society, they should have universal appeal. That is the majesty of the writings of the framers of our Constitution and the Declaration of Independence — they were based on universal principles, and they have provided guideposts for centuries, serving as beacons of hope for people in our nation and indeed throughout the world. They have done more for the world than all of the great religions combined. They have helped free the enslaved, right injustices, and empower people of all types around the world. While they may have been written by white men, they have served all men and women, and continue to do so today.
I respect the right of #BlackLivesMatter protesters to gather and speak their minds. I agree with their calls for an end to unjustified police brutality, and certainly for different rules for engagement that will greatly reduce the potential for deaths of unarmed citizens at the hands of police. I believe the movement has fostered vigorous conversations on these practices, and that the process of reform is well underway. #BlackLivesMatter is to be commended for the role it has played in these changes.
There is a logical inconsistency in the #BlackLivesMatter movement. Unquestionably, more black lives are lost due to violence between residents of black communities than at the hands of police officers. It isn’t even close. Moreover, how many black lives are ruined in these communities by poor family lives or the early lure of criminality? These are complicated issues, but I submit they cannot be resolved without the presence of a strong and respected police force in these communities to help ensure personal safety for the residents. For it is only with that assurance of safety that mothers and fathers can allow their children to go out to play, that they can address the duties of family life and provide an environment conducive to learning. When elements of the #BlackLivesMatter movement start chanting murderous slogans aimed at the police, it demeans the effectiveness of the message, and causes resentment among large swaths of the populace who seek peaceful coexistence in a fair society. Furthermore, these slogans are counterproductive to bringing about the ultimate changes we all desire — more black people succeeding as productive members of society.
The mass murders of police officers of the past weeks have further confused the legitimate message of #BlackLivesMatter. I suggest believers in the movement reconsider the message, perhaps using the universalist principles suggested above. Failure to do so is an indictment of the movement and the legitimacy of its aims.
The Backbone Campaign’s #BeyondDenial Racism, the Elephant in the Room Action-In-A-Box imagery is a useful tool we’ve developed to help white people acknowledge privilege and the ways that the ideology of white supremacy is woven into our society. I hope people who appreciate this article will consider utilizing this tool in their community.
http://www.backbonecampaign.org/elephant_in_the_room
In collaboration and gratitude,
Bill Moyer
co-founder/E.D. Backbone Campaign
Thank you for this important essay.
The Backbone Campaign’s #BeyondDenial Racism, the Elephant in the Room Action-In-A-Box imagery is a useful tool we’ve developed to help white people acknowledge privilege and the ways that the ideology of white supremacy is woven into our society. I hope people who appreciate this article will consider utilizing this tool in their community.
http://www.backbonecampaign.org/elephant_in_the_room
In collaboration and gratidude,
Bill Moyer
co-founder/E.D. Backbone Campaign
I was so captured by this editorial that the motion sensor in my office turned off. Thank you so much for this. I learned a lot. An example I provide when talking about white privilege, and how it effects me in more of a nonchalant way, is when I bike my groceries home. I don’t want to buy more than I can fit in my backpack, so I always walk in and load food directly in my bag and walk throughout the store, carrying the food I have yet to purchase in my bag. I’ve done this in many stores, and I’ve never once been confronted or noticed anyone watching me. I attribute this to being a young, white female. Emphasis on white.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!
I think that the key concept that the columnist just brushed off is that of intersectionality.
When we actually submit such concept to rigorous logical scrutiny we can see and fact check with examples across the spectrum of today multithreaded discriminations, how nonsensical all these ideas of white privileges and institutional racism are.
I am black and I am white. I carry both races in my body. And I would also add, I got some of Mexican and some of Chinese.
I wouldn’t say I have been on the shoes of anyone (being so to me is a subjective experience impossible to pin down), but I have definitely gone through all those similar experience of racism. Hence, I will try to explain what kind of “shoes” I have put on to deal with such experiences.
Cuba, where I was born and lived great part of my life, is a very mixed race country. While Afro-Americans just make around 12% of USA population, Afro-Cubans make 62% of Cuba population.
For what I have read so far, the columnist has never been on my shoes, and more specifically, in three sense of the word.
First, because she has never experienced reverse racism in a context where the population rate between two races is almost equal.
My family from my father’s side, which is Afro-Cuban (my father is mixed race too, while my mother is white), was against the union between my father and my mum because my mum is white.
During my time spent with my father’s Afro-Cuban family, I felt both, admired and discriminated for being “white” or not purely black.
Second, because no other type of discrimination has gained so much relevance in the columnist life than that which relates to her skin colour.
I suffered heavy discrimination among certain social groups for being a nerd when I was a teen, similar or worse than racial discrimination.
I suffered discrimination among certain social groups for not being as a man too much into women in my early youth.
I suffered discrimination among conservatives social groups for being highly sexual during my adult life.
I suffered discrimination for being into sports among certain intellectual social groups.
I suffered discrimination for thinking too much and having at time queer abstract emotions and thoughts among certain short attention span social groups.
Third, because I never gave a flying monkey about “implicit” racism inflicted upon me for as long as Cuban government policies weren’t acting against me in a racial discriminatory way, which they weren’t.
Those were my shoes: I never gave a flying monkey about “implicit” discrimination.
The columnist is unable to put emphasis on any other privilege than the white privilege and the racial discrimination. By her own use of the term, intersectionality, she only pays a lip service to what such word truly means.
She wants white people to be on her shoes as an Afro-American woman concerned and damaged by racial issues, but by her own logic, which I don’t share, she neglects my shoes and many other shoes she is unable to put on since she is too busy with her own Afro-American saga.
Perhaps is better to go into some details of her own descriptive examples and experiences to see exactly how from posing a real problem about racial discrimination she gets too self absorbed and self-complacent in her own shoes.
She tells us:
“When my older sister was 5, a white boy named Mark called her a “nigger” after she beat him in a race at school. She didn’t know what it meant but in her gut, she knew it was bad.”
A child calling another child “nigger”, even when it is a sign of racism among adults, for a child it can have the same impact or worse as calling another child fat, pick, dumbo ear or any other physical degrading word.
The real problem in here is discrimination based on appearances. Why do black people have to assume that racial discrimination matter more than any other discrimination? Simply, because it is more comfortable to share pain from your own shoes than from that of others.
Under such logic is impossible to dismiss that black people want privileges. They want privileges over any other way of discrimination, else they would deal with the discrimination of others, if not, they share as many privileges for every discrimination they fail to highlight.
That’s why in my opinion the whole concept of white privileges and Black Lives Matter fail and is inconsistent when analyse to their barebones.
The columnist tells us:
“When I was 3, my family moved into an upper-middle class, all-white neighborhood to be closer to my Dad’s new job. We had a big backyard, so my parents built a pool. Not the only pool on the block, but the only one neighborhood boys started throwing rocks into. White boys.”
The fact that the boys throwing the rocks were white and the swimming pool owners black is not quite a sufficient reason to validate that the motives were racist. The columnist fails to give sufficient evidence to validate such connections even when it might exit.
The columnist tells us:
“if you’ve NEVER had a defining moment in your childhood or your life where you realize your skin color alone makes other people hate you, you have white privilege.”
I did and didn’t care. In fact, I have been discriminated on many account on top of the racial. I have been busier with others and not the racial one, but overall I have never let any kind of discrimination bother me to the point of political activism. If racism or any other way of discrimination have been institutionalised through the passing of policies I would have politicised these issues.
Calling “institutionalised racism” to the implicit racism is disingenuous. Institutionalised means the existing of government policies that support racism. There is racism in America, it is not institutionalised.
The columnist tells us:
“The point here is, if you’ve never been “the only one” of your race in a class, at a party, on a job, etc. and/or it’s been pointed out in a “playful” fashion by the authority figure in said situation, you have white privilege.”
I have been “the only one” in many occasions, be it in the context of race or in many other context and no precisely in a good way. I have been challenged to go countercurrent many times and feeling so have given privileges to white, black and every other possible race and culture I have familiarised with.
The columnist tells us:
“The point here is, if you’ve never been on the receiving end of the assumption that when you’ve achieved something it’s only because it was taken away from a white person who “deserved it,” that is white privilege.”
Yes, I have been, but didn’t care either. I know what I am worth and it has nothing to do with the colour of my skin or any other elements of my appearance. Were my race of great concern to others, they would be out of my social group of influences.
The columnist tells us:
“if no one has ever questioned your intellectual capabilities or attendance at an elite institution based solely on your skin color, that is white privilege.”
I guess at this pace I have a privilege for every black concern that is not mine, but also for every white concern that isn’t mine either. I would say that following such logic I would have privileges for every concern that I haven’t made mine. You can see how ludicrous such logic can get.
The columnist tells us:
“In my freshman college tutorial, our small group of 4-5 was assigned to read Thoreau, Emerson, Malcolm X, Joseph Conrad, Dreiser, etc. When it was the week to discuss The Autobiography of Malcolm X, one white boy boldly claimed he couldn’t even get through it because he couldn’t relate and didn’t think he should be forced to read it. I don’t remember the words I said, but I still remember the feeling ― I think it’s what doctors refer to as “chandelier pain” ― as soon as a sensitive area on a patient is touched, they shoot through the roof. That’s what I felt.”
Nobody should be obliged or feel morally coerced to read any book. No, no reading an important book about anti-racism doesn’t mean you are racist for not doing so. If you feel extremely upset because someone can’t relate to your experience that is your problem.
You being upset because of me not wanting to read your anti-racist book and me ignoring it, doesn’t necessarily means I am being insensitive. Calling me so automatically implicates you. Neither of us has any obligation over each other personal emotional freedom.
Moral obligation is not worth pursuing and is not moral obligation at all if it doesn’t come from within, if my obligation with the other is coerced into me as a external demand for equality.
Emotions are not and shouldn’t be legally binding. You are free to be upset with me and I am free to ignore you. If coercion and violence are defined by how the most discriminated and sensitive person feels about it no parliament would be able to agree as to the legal binding of the most vulnerable since vulnerability would be defined by “triggering” mechanisms.
In psychoanalysis “chandelier sign” was initially translated as “triggered”. Being “triggered” refers to re-enacting a a very traumatic experience in the case of a patient with a mental illness history.
The term “triggered” has been transferred to popular usage to refer jokingly to someone with no history of mental illness or traumatic experiences and be still overtly reacting to a dislike.
I think this is easily understood when it is the case of severe psychological trauma, but if every turn of phrases with a hint of racism is going to be turned into a motive for traumatic re-enactment, policing languages and speeches in search of “implicit”, “between the line” and “masked” signs of racism is to me plainly wrong and a sign of deliberately promoting being weak, easily affected and “triggered” by the slightest sign of discomfort or disagreement.
Kids should be taught how to be strong, which doesn’t mean insensitive. Learning to be vulnerable is not learning to be weak and easily offended.
It is about not being so much concerned with having your feeling hurt for all the wrong reasons. One should worry about getting hurt on the path to grow, not in the wasteful alleys where others try to distract you and drain your true energy. Like for instance, in this commercial:
http://youtu.be/et3j-ZsZ-k8
The columnist tells us:
“So if you have never experienced or considered how damaging it is/was/could be to grow up without myriad role models and images in school that reflect you in your required reading material or in the mainstream media, that is white privilege.”
I never had a myriad role models nor images that reflect me in my required reading material. You can be white and feel completely at odds with society. And the so called whites privileges make no difference to a white person in a suicidal and self destructive state.
The columnist tells us:
“The point here is, if you’ve never been blindsided when you are just trying to enjoy a meal by a well-paid faculty member’s patronizing and racist assumptions about how grateful black people must feel to be in their presence, you have white privilege.”
Some white friends of mine have so too when they came from the countryside, among other things, in an attempt of the Cuban government to balance people in and out of the city. Some of my female friends felt so too, when the amount of girls needed to be balanced with the amount of boys at career choices.
So in this case following the columnist logic, there are not only white privileges, but also male and female privileges according to gender demands in different careers. There are also city privileges compared to the countryside.
The columnist tells us:
“if you’ve never been on the receiving end of a boss’s prejudiced, uninformed “how dare she question my ideas” badmouthing based solely on his ego and your race, you have white privilege.”
This has happened to me a few times, but it has not been related to white privileges, but to age privileges, assuming, for instance, that because you are younger you have no clue. Or cliche privileges, assuming, for instance, that because someone is showy and arrogant is confident and solid.
Let’s be clear with this whole logistics about white privileges. If we really go down the logical path of white privileges, ultimately, we discover that privileges are created by the default favourable attributes that any human can have in a situation that spontaneously favour those attributes.
The question to ask would be: What has granted the belief to some black people that white privileges are the most important privileges to watch out for a black person dealing with discrimination in general?
If you are a black person and black discrimination is taking place in your social interactions that doesn’t mean that by just you being black that is the most extreme form of discrimination that is happening in your life and in the lives of all black people.
It really comes down to the level of discrimination, be it racial or any other kind. If it happens to be racial discrimination, a black person shouldn’t assume that just because of being black the discrimination would always be more extreme than that of a white person.
The white privileges of a white person can be completely overshadowed by other kinds of discrimination the white person might be going through in more intense ways than that of the black person.
If Black Lives Matter would like to be heard by a wider audience, be it white or any other race, they would have to break out from the binary opposition that their own struggles tend to trap them into.
Yes, Black Lives Matter, but not always, and not for all black people. Because even when being black or white is extremely relevant for some people, for humans, for humanity, it shouldn’t be relevant at all as an existential condition of our lives.
For other people, including blacks, other specific more discriminated lives matter right now at the time when blacks are being discriminated too.
This is an example of what I have been speaking of. The notion of ‘white privilege’ is ethnocentric, and insensitive to whites outside of America, in parts of America that are outside the continental US. It is also insensitive to the disabled whites, who REALLY DO have problems of harassment and lack of privilege, far worse than anyone here can imagine.
The black lives matter movement is insensitive to: the disabled, Latinos, immigrant Europeans, Asians, Native Americans. And probably many people who are so underprivileged that they don’t come to mind.None of these people’s lives matter.
They face the same types of ‘discrimination’ as posted here. No, they will not be able to say ‘yes’ to any of these because they have been harassed in ways that are different from the writer’s, but the writer is too privileged to have ever experienced them. Also a few of these things are racist in and of themselves. So because a white kid was stupid, does it make all white kids like that? Do we assume it’s because of racism simply because the child was ‘white’?
I think your comment by far shows the problems in this article better than the article itself. If people bothered to read your comment.
The problem with all of these posts that try to critique the idea of white privilege is that they make the same epistemological problem, that of assuming that something means something outside of any particular context. The #blacklivesmatter movement arises out of a particular context — the shooting of young black men and the failure to bring their killers to justice. Intersectionality is precisely about context: in one context, you might be the victim of discrimination; in another, not so much. Meaning is ALWAYS dependent upon context. That is why there is no such thing as “reverse discrimination.” (Prejudice or negative feelings are NOT the same as racism.) Look, if a rich man spits on a poor man, does it mean the same thing as if a poor man spits on a rich one? Maybe in some ahistorical, metaphysical context NONE OF US INHABIT. In the real world, one is a reaffirming of one’s social power; in the other, it is a protest against that power. So you cannot take something from your life story and assume it means the same thing as a similar event that occurred in the life of the author. But this is the problem with relying too much on personal experience. Someone will always have their own version. That is why we need to continue to produce critiques of systemic racism and attempts to explain how racism does indeed assist capitalism in its efforts to produce an immiserated class. And please, do not point to Oprah. Racism has always relied upon privileged marginals like her to “manage” the immiserated, offer them false hope, and keep them in their places.
Thank you for this post. I’ve been taught about white privilege and its nuances since I was a child (I was taught by my mom who has always been a champion for equal rights). It is so very important that people are taught about what it means to be privileged whether because of their race, sex, sexual orientation, class status, religion, being able bodied etc. It isn’t fair that you’ve had to deal with all of that racism and micro-aggressions. Again, thank you.
– Have you ever been called a ‘nazi’ simply because you were born in a different country? Or a ‘commy’ for being from another country?
– And if this happened, have you told the authorities in school, and they did nothing?
– Have you been isolated in class simply because you were foreign?
– Have you seen other people be preferred for being here illegally, when you were here legally?
– Have you never seen a scholarship that fits your ethnic background? I never saw a single scholarship for how I was born.
If you never had any of these issues then you surely have privilege. But this is completely irrelevant because my skin is white.
Lori, As a white woman, I have seen white privilege extended toward me and have been unsure how to respond. It is awkward to see another person treated as less-than while I receive smiles and pleasantries. You have helped me to see what I can do to help stand for what is fair when I see injustice. Thank you for your open letter to your friend. Blessings.
Just wanted to say thanks for writing this and for your bravery in enduring some of the (however unintentionally) hurtful comments.
Thank you for your time and effort in writing this. Comprehensive, clear articulation of ideas seems to be increasingly rare in modern discourse, particularly with regard to emotionally charged subject matter. It is a pleasure to find some wheat among the chaff.
[…] read this fabulous article yesterday, “What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege” where the author, Lori Lakin Hutcherson, showed me a life I didn’t understand […]
Lori, thank you for writing this intelligent piece. I will share and refer to it often.
I feel the absolute best part of this is spelling out at the end the exact aspect of privilege. Some were very clear to me and some I was less certain of. This was very very helpful. Thank you.
I read this because I really wanted to understand. I was with you through the first part. And, I was thinking, “I can never adequately comprehend what you must feel”. But, then as it went on, I started to think “Oh my gosh, she is the one who is uncomfortable with her skin color! Yes, there are horrible people in the world. But guess what….all of us have experienced that! My brother was attacked just because he was white. I was surrounded by a group of black girls harassing me on my first day in Middle School just because I was white, and I didn’t understand it. I know of many, many instances and could post some videos here of blacks hating on whites. But, good grief! What good does it do to show the worst of humanity? I don’t let those things make me hate all black people. I am strong enough as a person to not let those experiences define me. So, quit thinking that we all look down on you, because we don’t!!! As far as “white privilege” – please! It is easier for a black person to get into college or get a job. It is easier for a black person to get scholarships or food stamps or just about anything else. The worse thing in the world right now is to be a white male. Luckily, I am a female or life would really suck for me! So, no, I reject your pitiful whining about “white privilege”. The only “privilege” is for those who have money. If you don’t get that, then you are just ignorant.
[…] Understanding each other: A black writer uses her experiences growing up in Los Angeles to describe “white privilege” to her friends. “Nobody is mad at you for being white. Nobody. Just like nobody should be mad at me for being black.” Good Black News […]
Oh boy please understand that you are one of millions and millions. It’s not about being black, it’s about a society that raises people to dig out a weakness and use it to make other’s strong rather than teaching to appreciate every characteristic. You will find disabled people, people who wear glasses, people who just weren’t that clued up about social norms. have had virtually identical experiences to you. The outcasts at school, at university. They are all around, they are the majority of us. There are very very few people who get through live unscathed by bigotry & fear, including white males.
Maybe they thought you said Howard? If you’re concerned about people making assumptions about admission to college call for an end to affirmative action. Otherwise, it seems people may assume you might have lower entry scores, as unfair as that may be?
“Translating the advantages into SAT scores, study author Thomas Espenshade, a Princeton sociologist, calculated that African-Americans who achieved 1150 scores on the two original SAT tests had the same chances of getting accepted to top private colleges in 1997 as whites who scored 1460s and Asians who scored perfect 1600s.
Espenshade found that when comparing applicants with similar grades, scores, athletic qualifications, and family history for seven elite private colleges and universities:
Whites were three times as likely to get fat envelopes as Asians. Hispanics were twice as likely to win admission as whites. African-Americans were at least five times as likely to be accepted as whites.”
http://infoproc.blogspot.co.nz/2009/10/affirmative-action-numbers.html
***no sites dedicated solely to publishing the positive things black people do***
Are there any sites that do this for white people either though?
Great article Lori
Here in the UK racism is very much alive and kicking – I could write a list of racist experiences that would fill a book!
I am a mixed race guy who has come out more white in complexion than black. So throughout my life I have experienced all kinds of racism particularly from ignorant white folk who have assumed that I am white. When I tell them that half my family are black and that I find their comments or actions disgusting. They are generally shocked. I have at times also experienced racism from black people as well who wonder what I’m doing at a black party or event. If they listen, I generally tell them in one way or another, that in my own family I have seen black go to white and white go to black. For example my grandma was black and my daughter is aryan (blond straight hair and blue eyes). It is entirely possible that many of the white racists around the world will find, if they look back at their ancestory, that they too are descendants of black ancestors. The same vice versa with black people – some will be shocked to find they have white ancestors. It’s a real shame that humans seem to want to divide themselves not just by colour but religion, gender, age, politics, rich, poor – we are all humans and if we are to last – we better find a way of getting rid of our ism’s.
This is going to be rather long and I apologize. I am a 43 year old, white female American who has part of her family that came to this country on the ship after the Mayflower and founded Connecticut. I was born and raised on an island on the coast of Florida, a small town next to an air force base formed in the mid 50s. It was desegregated from the start. My father, who’s from New York, was a police officer there. I give all this background to explain why I didn’t even know racism was still a thing. You see, there was only one black family in our town. We had a few kids in my school that had recently emigrated from Korea, but for the most part it was just different shades of white. It never occurred to me to treat a single kid differently.
I now know that wasn’t the case for everyone. I was very deliberately raised that way by my parents. If someone used the N word anywhere near me, I now realized they were severely chastised by my parents and not allowed near me if they would say one racist thing. This, by the way, includes my now 90 year old grandmother that I did not know had EVER used that word until her dementia kicked in. This was how oblivious I was to rampant racism, my grandmother is from Louisiana born in 1926 and i didn’t know she would have ever used that word. See what I mean about my ignorance?
I spent my ENTIRE CHILDHOOD thinking this was how others were raised, too. When I was in junior high, my basketball coach, who was also white, told us how when they traveled on the bus to other schools, half the team had to use the back entrance of a restaurant and a different bathroom. I was astonished. As a quick aside, no one in Florida thinks of themselves as southern, and when I was a kid, none of us even knew Jim Crow laws were applicable in Florida…well, I bet one family knew. When I was in high school, we moved to Colorado. Still racist, still ‘not my generation’, still blissfully unaware anyone would STILL be racist.
By this time, I only understood that boys had it better. I moved to Texas when I was 18. I still didn’t get that I had white privilege, or any privilege for that matter because I was lower middle class, making just above minimum wage. I couldn’t afford college so made a living working customer service. I had more bill collectors than friends at that point. Folks, I now know I grew up around racists, but they never said a racist thing around me but racists in Texas? Holy crap, they were so overtly racist I thought all the stereotypes were true. I worked with an older man who thought it was hilarious that I didn’t know any racist terms. You should have seen his face when I , without lowering my voice to a conspiratorial whisper said, without guile, “What is a porch monkey?”. I don’t think he’d ever had to explain that particular term before and i still didn’t understand after he spent a few minutes mumbling about me being so loud and didn’t I know any better, etc.
I won’t go on other than to say until the advent of facebook, I had no idea people my age, GenX were racist. Now, I sadly realize by some of their post, that a few of my “friends” from high school have always been racist but they had to keep quiet. Apparently, since President Obama took office and the hatred became more mainstream, they have felt free to let their hatred fly. What’s really sad is they must have been raised that way. I am at a loss for how we can even start to mend the breach. I don’t have a clue what to say to any of my friends of color when a man is shot merely for taking his wallet out and being black at the same time.
I will end with a story my father told me about being on the police force. He said there was a traffic store he made where he pulled someone over for expired tags. The guy jumped out of his car and ran at my dad screaming. My dad, who is huge and 6’7″, placed the guy face down on his car hood and cuffed him. See the guy in question was black and thought that’s why my dad pulled him over. He was a lawyer in the air force and was on a date with a white woman and figured that was why he was stopped. This was in the mid 70s by the way. Anyway, my dad walked him to the back of his car and said look at your plates, they are expired, now look at your windows. Tell me how I was supposed to see what color you or the passenger are. He couldn’t. Dad let him go with a warning. This was two people who, because of institutionalized racism, could have killed each other. One man who was just doing his job and confronted by someone charging him for no visible reason, and another so used to being pulled over and profiled, he assumed that’s what this cop doing, too.
i have no idea what the answer is, but I do hope that we can figure it out soon before more lives are lost.
” the white privilege in this situation is being able to move into a “nice” neighborhood and be accepted not harassed, made to feel unwelcome, or prone to acts of vandalism and hostility.” is my takeaway. I wish to add I was aware of white privilege in 1963 while a Graduate Student in Social Work. On a field placement in a black hospital, out of 1400 staff there were two other white workers, I never met. At a presentation by the chief (Black) Doctor on the case he turned to me the only (White) person in the room a lowly student and said is that right or correct or something like that. To be privileged positively was one of most humiliating things that has happened to me and I thought GOD what it must be like to be unprivileged negatively! Harold E. Quillin MSW
Thank you.
Thank you so much for this article!!! I will be sharing it on Facebook. I appreciate your willingness to share your experiences, many of which I know others have unfortunately experienced as well.
I lived in Jamaica as a nanny for a family in the diplomatic core when I was 20. In my young, white, blonde haired, unexperienced ways, I thought I was enlightened and I felt I was being given an eye opening experience of being a “minority.” People would stick their hands in the window of the car to try to touch my hair as we drove down the street while others would yell out “whitey!” as we drove by. I wasn’t allowed to go out on my own because of the color of my skin. I thought I now knew what it was like to be a minority but later I realized this was NOT the case. Even with these experiences I was not being treated as a minority because I had White Privilege. In my youthful ignorance I was still treated better than the elders around me. I was given the best of everything, and treated as though my ideas were great. I am embarrassed to look back at some of the things I felt and said 30 years ago, but I continue to learn and am doing my best to treat others with the respect they deserve.
Thank you!
First congratulations on your post receiving so much feedback and being rated as one of the most popular blog posts on all of wordpress right now!
Secondly, I think it’s great we are finally speaking about this in a big way.
Like the gentleman that wrote the prompt question I fall into a blissful ignorance in some senses about this issue. In fact since this issue has become a world-wide discussion I have noticed some hints of division starting to come to the surface on both sides. This is what frightens me the most.
The reality is that North America and Europe have issues with equality and historical problems have not helped as many have been lost to a system that honestly just isn’t just.
On the other side I think this has to be done very carefully because it could swing in the other direction. Not everyone is articulate about how they express and work through these narratives and this needs to be a climactic moment were the process of huge change is put in motion, not as a reactionary vice that cripples a huge moment in human history.
As a Canadian I watch with curious eyes because I think there is some serious love and light at work here and I think this may turn out to create a better future for all people :).
Great post!
Sharing stories can be the most powerful way to help others understand a difficult concept or something outside of their own experiences. Thank you for reliving these painful memories to help more specifically define just what white privilege looks like.
Thank you for this. I am ashamed it has taken me this long to understand.
As a female engineer in a male-dominated industry, I can relate to some of these types of prejudice (based solely on gender), and I also have come to learn that it is better to keep quite and “not rock the boat”.
Frankly this whole article was about my bad life experiences r because I am black…some r.. Others r because u belong to human race and we all suck…
Half of the experiences she described I experienced as well (probably most of the experiences u described) And I am white… So making an assumption that all whites r privileged is kinda racist as well.. But I guess if u r white, peoples can’t be racist to u… U r just not liked than.
And if a white kid will go to a school/ neighbourhood all black or any other colour is he going to be accepted?! No!! He won’t .. But again that won’t count as white racism, since u r white u should be lucky and take it…
I am not denying there’s a racism but racism exists toward minorities in almost every country or community… Because humans r dummies with lots and lots of insecurities … About police… Police r in profiling business… And may be it shouldn’t be but they r… And that’s the way they can do their job… In some countries if u r white with tattoos u r going to be most likely a handicapped or dead after meeting the police, in your country u r the minority and I am not saying that u have to take it but don’t be racist yourself and make a statement that if u r white than u r previlidged ….
The way I found to fight racism against myself was to move to a country where I am not a minority and people r more tolerant, a
Dear Lori, this is a brilliant and poignant work. I appreciate your patience, willingness and fortitude to write this, and will use these words to deepen understanding of white privilege (my own understanding and that of others).
I read this blog and I was hoping for a defining Ah! moment that I could relate to, unfortunately there wasn’t one. I am a white female, one who was bullied in school, for not wearing the “right” clothes and also for having acne among other things such as being both too thin and now that I am older too heavy. . I have been discriminated against because I am female, and also because I don’t speak Spanish, and living in Houston it is almost a necessity. I could not afford to go to a four year college and there were not supplemental agencies to assist me just because I am white. I struggled just to get the money together to go to Community college and I have a bit of debt as a result. I have been told I am not welcome in places of business that service predominately African American and or Spanish individuals, while out and about in town. I am really not trying to down play what you have endured painful memories are just that, however throwing a blanket statement such as white privilege around is no better than saying everyone discriminates. I don’t use the N word never have I don’t like it but you can sure bet the terms, cracker, whitey, honky etc have all been cast in my direction. I too have endured hate and prejudice and while not the same situations that you have not to far off course. I have been the only white person at a party and been in a position where I was almost sexually assaulted. I currently work in a place where most of our clients are African American and I have been told I shouldn’t be in that part of town after dark, by well meaning hard working people that like me as a person. I don’t think anyone no matter the color of skin can know or feel the pain of another, I do my absolute best to smile and be friendly to everyone because we are all people, we all matter and I don’t believe there is privilege in being any color. We all have experiences where we feel singled out, or left out, excluded, out of place, threatened, harassed, unwelcome, and undesired etc. I am sorry if those feelings have only been caused by Caucasians for you, in my life so far those feelings have been caused by people of multiple nationalities.
Thank you for this really truthful article. I’m white and grew up in brooklyn in a multicultural neighborhood. I saw white privilege happen. I am saddened how so many white people are clueless about this.
I am mobilized to take a strong stand of opposition to articles such as this one – that are all too easy to click and share, but on closer inspection can be seen as attempts to paint contrived groups of people under broad brushstrokes.
I am aware that people born and raised in the ‘West’ have (on average) a far higher living standard and life expectancy that those born in the remaining 85% of the world. And that, on the whole, the wealthiest 15% of nations survive from the labor and resources of the remainder (this is obvious when you look at life expectancy and also the direction and flow of goods and resources, not to mention where the greater debt binds lie). This is nothing short of exported slavery (read Thom Hartmann’s analysis of this). I try to raise as much awareness of this as I can, because I don’t think it is morally right or sustainable (international relations) in the long term. Slavery is slavery, whether it happens on our doorstep, or whether it is now sanitized away into invisibly distant sweatshops.
However, at the same time there will always be outliers on any distribution curve, and it is disingenuous and frankly outright provocational to disregard the experience of these millions of outliers within the wealthy nations, who by cultural or personality differences, or accidents of birth, are neither welcome nor able to be complicit participants in the dominant economic establishment/racket – and so are denied most or all of its ‘privileges’ (remaining unqualified, unemployable, or semi-employable in demanding or dangerous work).
I’ve met light skinned people under railway bridges throughout Europe who look 60 at age 40, who very likely won’t live to the average lifespan of a child born in Kenya. To presume that these people must somehow be inheriting some special inclusion and advantage from the wealthy and powerful communities merely because underneath the grime and unkempt facial hair they have ‘white skin’ is beyond absurd. Are they ‘choosing’ not to receive the love? When they walk into a shop and ask for some food and are told to get lost or the police will be called are they really just imagining that these words are coming from the lips of the people who ought (by definition of articles that infer to ‘white privilege’) include and welcome them into their ‘privilege’ because they share a similar skin hue? Of course not.
We humans are the relational contact between our bodies, the environment, and those around us. We would need a camera over someone’s shoulder their entire life to come close to understanding all the complexities of their unique field and relational experiences since birth. And to discover whether they were privileged or scapgoated, cherished or disowned. To attempt to reduce human complexity and experience down to a rigid formula based on skin color is the antithesis of a relational approach. Trends may exist in certain areas, but you can never predict a precise situation for any given person unless you know all the people involved in their entire situation. Skin color can at most tell you likelihood, not actual experience.
I get that a lot of people with white skin (and other skin too) are complicit participants in the globally parasitic economic ‘culture’ that exploits whole nations and workforces. I get this. I get that a lot of these people want to atone for their guilt. Great. I support them in doing that. Renounce their high paid corporate or government positions, help forgive the debt of the poorer nations and poorer people, donate their mansions and expensive cars to housing projects, stop buying sweatshop goods, stop extravagant luxury overseas holidays, and so on.
But don’t try and drag every person with ‘white’ skin into your guilt! I have known and know many people with ‘white’ skin who never had a chance to snuggle sycophantically into the arms of power and oppression, who never sipped lattes in cafes or attended wine tasting events. Many of whom in my town alone struggle with depression, financial strain, childhood abuse, unemployment, relationship breakdowns, chronic illness due to excessively demanding work conditions and exposure to toxic chemicals and repetitive physical strain. To tell these working class folk that they are more ‘privileged’ than their darker skinned colleagues or in some cases darker skinned employers is an absolute slap in the face. It will only alienate and entrench further division.
The problem is more complex than skin colour. It is a systemic problem. It is the global parasitism between the East and the West, and the national parasitism between the rich and the poor within nations. A greater percentage in the ‘parasite’ communities have white skin for sure, and a greater percentage in the ‘host’ communities have darker skin, but to somehow imply this means that everyone with white skin is somehow magically ‘in with’ the ‘parasite’ group, or that every individual with darker skin must by necessity have been more oppressed than the more white skinned person lugging a carcass on the meat processing line next to them is a level of absurdity I fail to find the words to express. This needs saying. I doubt I’ll get much love for saying it but if I want to be able to look myself in the mirror, I need to say it.
Privilege isn’t about guilt. Privilege is something you are born into. It’s not possible to be guilty for your privilege, since you had no say in bringing it about. But privilege is something that can provide you with advantages in life, all other things being equal. But all other things are rarely equal. Many circumstances can keep a person with a certain privilege from achieving a good life. That doesn’t mean they don’t have that privilege, just that it didn’t outweigh other considerations.
People who are not white don’t have white privilege. That means they more often don’t get the benefit of the doubt in certain (many) situations. It doesn’t mean that white people always get the benefit of the doubt, or that non-whites never do, just that the playing surface is tilted. Life is more uphill for non-whites than for whites. I don’t have to feel guilty in order to recognize that. I don’t need to feel guilty in order to understand that some people have it rougher than others in certain ways, just because of an accident of birth and a pernicious cultural bias. I don’t have to feel guilty to know that this state of affairs is unjust and needs to change.
You wrote “Privilege is something you are born into”.
You do not know what someone you have yet to meet and witness and get to know was “born into”. You really don’t. This is my point. At best you might be able to estimate the likelihood that a certain person was ‘born into’ a particular experience from looking at their skin colour, or height, or sex, or any other variable. However you cannot know with any level of certainty. Privilege is the summation of ALL considerations and experiences. And every living breathing human being has a unique set of experiences and considerations, affected by circumstances that may excessively depart from the ‘average’ experience (insofar as experience can even be measured) of what someone of similar appearance or age or nationality experiences. And when it comes to racism, or bigotry, or poverty, or something as damaging and unpredictable as a series of school teachers or youth corrections officers dismissing your talents and abilities and blaming you and hating on you for something you had no control over, you cannot know for sure whether this was any given person’s experience from their skin color or other genetic trait, or home town etc. You may know likelihood, but not certainty.
The trouble with a sweeping generalization such as ‘white privilege’ is that it attempts to paint diverse human experience with something ubiquitous and inflexible. It dehumanizes (the essence of a person’s humanity being their uniqueness) human beings. It does not allow for truth of experience if the truth happens to exists outside of the fixed narrative.
It does something insidious. It disallows human witnessing and contact by supplanting it with a story. Human beings are hard-wired for relational contact. For engaging and connecting and reaching one another. This is how the great civic movements in the past succeeded. Fixed narratives confiscate authentic connection by proclaiming to know the story before the people have even met and witnessed one another!
Racism is what is left over after we have long since abandoned (or been brainwashed out of it by school/media etc) our innate capacity to relate and be open to being surprised by each other and the ways that we are more fundamentally similar and connected than we are dissimilar and disconnected. In a nutshell, I do not believe humans are fundamentally bigoted beings – look at children before they are sent to school.
I’m not saying racism doesn’t exist. Of course it does. – in fact I’m pointing to it! I’m saying let’s call it what it is, as and when it rears its ugly head – i.e. racism. As soon as we try to paint a dogmatic prescriptive narrative about which arbitrary set of humans (and this is arbitrary make no mistake) is the most racist or privileged according to some supposedly measurable aspect of their appearance (this is what Hitler did remember), then we have only succeeded in creating more racism.
You are making an excellent argument for how we should treat individuals. And, in that context, I couldn’t agree with you more. However, one cannot simply ignore the established bias’s in our culture, the systemic issues that cannot be evaluated on an individual by individual basis.
That is where broad topics like “white privilege” come into play. I, as a white male, don’t have to be bigoted to have a better chance at getting a job than the equally qualified black man sitting beside me; just like I don’t need to be a racist to to be less likely to be shot on a routine traffic stop. I just need to be white.
Those are systemic things, just like how I’m almost universally addressed first when I walk up to a counter with my best friend, who happens to be black. The problem is, when I (or whoever) get that job (or don’t get shot), the result is good… so no one complains. Those things are the “privilege” that we are talking about here, and recognizing – rather than excusing or ignoring them – is what people should be doing about it.
Warren Preiss, that’s not the nature of privilege. White privilege says absolutely nothing about what an individual person’s story or circumstances might be. As you point out, it can’t. But that’s not the point. The point is that society, including but not limited to law enforcement, *definitely*, though not always consciously, applies bias on the basis of skin color, conferring an advantage on those that they don’t target on that basis.
Privilege isn’t a bunch of nice stuff you get. It’s a bunch of obstacles that you *don’t* face, but that others do, based on some arbitrary attribute like skin color or poverty. It doesn’t mean you get an easy life. If you’re white, you simply can’t get stopped by the cops for driving while black. This happens to black people all the time. You’re correct that cops can’t see the conditions that people are born into, but they can definitely see skin color, and to the extent that their enforcement of the law differs based on skin color, that gives at least one color the privilege of not being harassed.
I’m not saying anybody should hate whites because they more often get a pass in certain scenarios, or make them feel guilty for their advantage. I’m saying these are advantages that everybody should have, and in fact, to deny others this advantage is a subtle, nearly invisible, but very powerful form of discrimination. Most white people aren’t even guilty of driving this form of discrimination, but they benefit from it, whether they like it or not. Again, not something to be guilty about, unless you’re one of the people actively discriminating. But it’s something to be aware of and something to help drive action to further root out and eliminate discriminatory behavior where it still exists.
If properly understood, privilege is a very useful concept. It lets us notice real discrimination we might otherwise miss. If we can’t see the problem, we’re unlikely to fix it.
Soren (I can’t seem to find a reply box under your comment so this might not appear in the right place!)
How you are ‘almost universally addressed first’ in shops isn’t a systemic issue. It may be a trend of behavior in certain areas, and looking into the reasons behind why people in certain communities may be commonly responding this way is a worthwhile question. But so long as they are doing it of their own accord – rather than following a legal mandate – then it isn’t systemic. And as you rightly said ‘almost universally’, it also isn’t entirely universal. There will always be some communities or shops or shopkeepers where everyone is welcomed, or where certain other looking or skin coloured or accented people are more commonly avoided or feared or ignored before others. in some places Polish, in some Jewish, Indian, Hispanic, Italian, Middle Eastern, and so on.
Jim Crow laws on the other hand were systemic. And affirmative employment laws are also systemic – as an attempt to systemically counteract widespread fear or prejudice that – though prevalent in many areas – still isn’t systemic.
A ubiquitous term like ‘white privilege’ over simplifies and ignores these complexities and sends out a clear message – If you are white-skinned, then you are (by definition) privileged! Which just simply isn’t always the case.
But most importantly I do not believe it helps in overcoming the fears and prejudices that actually (I believe) lead to the common situation of how you describe your friend often being treated in shops.
Change comes from understanding. And understanding always comes from witnessing. And witnessing only happens when we remove the ‘stories’ that we have been told about each other (via school, the media, etc).
There are ‘stories’ that many people have been told about people with ‘black’ skin (dangerous, high likelihood of being a criminal etc). And there are ‘stories’ that many people have been told about people with ‘white’ skin (rich, high likelihood of being friends with other rich and powerful people etc). ‘White privilege’ is one of these stories. It isn’t a universal truth for ALL people with ‘white’ skin. So it obfuscates far more than it leaves space for witnessing. So ironically, it perpetuates what your friend experiences.
With all due respect, you don’t get it. Until you do, you will remain part of the problem. Recognize, don’t rationalize.
I’m afraid I agree with Soren, Mr. Preiss. You really, really don’t get it. Given the simplicity of the various explanations of privilege on this comment forum, I suspect you’re not interested in getting it. Privilege doesn’t only mean “having a lot of stuff”. It means “the ability to do things, to exercise your freedom”.
Black people in the US do not have the same level of freedom as white people. Women don’t have the same level as men. And yes, poor people don’t have the same level as rich people. But economic class is not the only determinant of freedom. It’s a privilege to have more freedom. This is *not* a sweeping indictment of all white people. If you can’t or won’t see this simple distinction, then there’s not a lot of point in further discussion.
BTW, “systemic” doesn’t only refer to the legal system. It can refer to any system. In this context, it’s pretty clear we’re talking about our society as “the system”. In the system that is our society, racism continues to be applied systemically. That also doesn’t mean “universally”. The lack of universal application of discrimination doesn’t mean it isn’t pervasive and chronically damaging.
Jayrayspicer, you write about ‘society’ as if it were a single universal constant that everyone experiences identically. However ‘society’ is for each person something different. I prefer the term ‘field’ because the word is clear that it is the entirety of the environment and social interactions experienced by each person. So each person’s ‘field’ is of course unique, even for two people living on the same block or growing up in the same family. Some people have fields that share common themes, but you can never really know someone’s field until you sit with them and connect.
What you are saying (about privilege that is always there if you happen to have this or that skin) could only be possible if human beings were machines (automatons) with blue models programmed to precisely respond in such a certain predictable way to red models and so on, and there could never possibly be exceptions or deviations from these programmed responses. But human beings and human experience is complex and multi-faceted. It cannot be so neatly reduced down to an easy to hold rigid little (safe) concept that allows us not to have to listen, think, feel, witness, and receive one another anew upon each moment of contact.
Actually such concepts keep us ‘safe’ from the unfamiliar discomfort of actually genuinely relating with others (discomfort because education largely insulates children from working through those uncomfortable initial stages of relating with others until they become so forgotten and unfamiliar as to be avoided at all cost). However, in avoiding the process of genuine relationship – because it was never learned/discovered or so interfered/interrupted with in childhood by well-meaning teachers – and replacing it with a ‘story’, we never really get to know one another or experience others of different cultural or genetic backgrounds as being who they truly are (fundamentally more similar and connected than dissimilar and disconnected), and so we stay with the story and this maintains and perpetuates the prejudices that are so visible all around us.
Trends exist. I do not deny that. And exploring the backgrounds behind such trends is a valid discourse toward understanding the relational issues that cause those trends. However I object to sweeping generalizations that exclude the possibility of exceptions and dictate experience before discovery. Rigid narratives do not leave room for relational discovery. You simply cannot have one if you have the other.
Racism is a relational issue. So it has a relational solution. The first step toward relating (individual to individual, and in small groups, and then spreading wider) is putting aside preconceived notions about how it MUST be for the other person (based on the ‘story’), and instead then each just sitting back and listening to the other. This happens. I’ve seen it happen in groups I’ve been a part of and also groups I’ve facilitated. And trust me, it beats a story hands down. It is like fresh air, where the story is heavy solid walls.
Warren Preiss, I perfectly well understand that each person’s experience is unique. Duh. Obviously.
What you seem to insist on not understanding is that *cops* have no problem whatsoever making sweeping generalizations about individuals based *solely* on skin color.
I am *not* accusing all white people of doing that.
I am *not* accusing all black people of being a certain way.
I *am* accusing the criminal justice system of pervasively assuming the worst about blacks and less than the worst about whites. *That* provides whites with an undeniable advantage based on skin color alone. This is wrong and must be changed, by reforming the criminal justice system to treat everybody equally.
Your argument needs to be made *to the cops and the courts*, because they are the ones who are too often guilty of not seeing people as individuals. Stop complaining that I am committing the same offense as the cops and the courts by complaining that the cops and the courts have a widespread problem which is perpetuating a racist system.
If you can’t understand these simple concepts, then good luck with your story-based “understanding” of the world. Because it clearly isn’t helping you understand things very well. Sometimes statistical trends *are* the story.
Jayrayspicer, (and again I have no idea how to make this below your last comment!) statistics can tell us about likelihood. When we equate this ‘likelihood’ with ‘certainty’ for any given individual, then we have displaced relationship (i.e. witnessing and discovery ) and truth (however it may unfold) with a ‘story’. I’m not opposed to learning from statistics while bearing this in mind, along with the fact that correlation does not necessarily always equate causation.
For instance, I stand by the significance of my original comment about the life expectancy of people in the ‘developed’ nations compared to people in the ‘host’ nations – because in this case, wealth (economic oppression and resultant lower standards of living) is the most obvious causative factor of the discrepancy. This is a good example of what could be simplified as ‘wealth (or class) privilege’.
I am however opposed to the mistake of applying statistics as (to use your turn of phrase) ‘sweeping generalizations’ and potentially deflections from more obvious causes. We need to be aware that statistics can very often be used to obscure a truth (i.e. the most influential and significant causative factor such as wealth). There is obviously a considerable push to NOT call a spade a spade by those (i.e. wealthy people) who have everything to gain from not doing so! – and having people like you and me arguing about ‘race’ being the most important factor while the wealthy are comfortably sipping lattes in their mansions and private jets.
I do not deny that commonalities of prejudices exist, nor that we cannot learn from them. My point is that these statistically inspired ‘sweeping generalizations’ become problematic when we try to hold them rigidly and use them to reduce human complexity and diversity of experience down to a glib formula that excuses us of the responsibility (and it is a responsibility!) to make the conscious choice to meet one another as unknowns until we become more known. And especially important, it absolves us of the responsibility to look beyond the superficial and popular (and easy) narrative to the more significant causative factors (such as poverty/economic oppression/nationality and so on).
Actually, I think this is precisely what you are rebuking in those *cops* you describe. This kind of instant formulaic preconception (taken to an extreme degree) that precedes and eliminates the possibility of fresh ‘here and now’ contact and connection, and also observation of more obvious causes, such as wealth – however politically inexpedient to the wealthy class who absolutely DO own and manage our media and PR industries.
So my take is that we don’t fundamentally disagree too much on the problem, more on how to make the world a more contactful, witnessing, equal, and aware (as opposed to withdrawn/deflecting, divided, bigoted, and unaware) place.
My suggested solution is to step out of the way enough to allow a natural relational approach on decentralized levels both nationally and globally.
First allow communities to make schools more engaging and community-centered, and less rigid, officious, child-centered, authoritarian, and centralized. I.e. allow school management to bring back community/school engagement, bring back recess, bring back mixed age classrooms, lose standardized testing. For the most part bring back school and community autonomy. Get big politics and big business out of schools and communities.
Secondly, reduce the poverty of poor communities and facilitate community self-sufficiency (economic and social) and interdependency by decentralizing big scale economics. Stop criminalizing the poor and poor communities. Stop corporate welfare and too-big-to-fail policies. Stop the ‘war on drugs’, and so on. Support the establishment and growth of local community social initiatives.
John Pilger wrote succinctly about gender conversations in media (substitute race for gender and it is equally applicable). “The problem with media-run “conversations” on gender is not merely the almost total absence of male participants, but the suppression of class. … Class is a forbidden word; and gender [or race] subordinate to class is heresy. The Daily Mail model is built on this. “
When I finished reading this blog, I could not help but laugh. Before I read it I never considered myself a victim, but now… I was born in Moscow in 1973. Like the author of this blog, I was born into a middle-upper class by the Soviet standards. I have a Russian father and a Jewish mother. When I was in grade 6 or so, the kids in my class somehow got to know that I was half-Jewish. For the entire year, I was beaten up – blood and everything – on a biweekly basis and that without mentioning being robbed of my pocket money, having my uniform, handbag destroyed multiple times. And I was repeatedly told that Jews should not live in the Soviet Union/Russia. The teachers only shrugged – you know… children, what can you do!
But Moscow was a safe haven for Jews compared with Ukraine. Once I went there for a vacation at the place where my grandmother was born. I did not know a single person there, but apparently one child knew that my family was Jewish. When I came out to a football field to play with the local kids, he ran towards me behind my back shouting “Jid” and hit me with a huge stick. I had never seen this guy before. And when I regained conscience his mother apologized for his actions, saying that he was a bit too excited to make my acquaintance.
Hearing “Jid” – an equivalent of “kike” – was a non-event. My best friend used to tell me not to be a “Jid”, when he meant that I should not spare money. I heard it on the street, in the newspapers and TV channels. I read it in Gogol’s, Dostoevsky’s and others’ books and I considered it quite normal to be reminded that you are not welcome there, despite the fact that I and as many generations of my family as we could remember were actually born in Russia or Ukraine.
Education-wise, there was a quota at all the best Universities, not too different from the official and unofficial quotas that existed in the US, Canada and many other places around the world a couple of decades earlier. But some said that since my name was Russian, I still had a chance.
And finally, living in Canada now and applying for a job I am often informed that female and visible minorities would have a preference.
The only thing I cannot beat in this person’s story is the police. I have never been stopped, carded or otherwise checked by police. I guess I should cling to it as my white privilege.
There’s a lot to be learned from your story. There are lots of haters and a lot of people whom they hate. Most people understand that this is the fabric of the human universe and move on. This is how they cope and not by claiming to martyrs.
Reblogged this on Clouds and commented:
I’m white, or in NZ terminology, Pakeha. Nowdays that’s rendered as European descent.
I grew up in a Maori neighbourhood. There was a small enclave of Pakeha families, and the Maori lived further down the road, clustered around the marae. We lived in big houses, and generally didn’t have to worry too much. I remember some Maori children in the neighbourhood, but we never socialised with them. They lived in what can be politely called shacks.
I grew up in Rotorua. The iwi there, Te Arawa, are known for being staunch. I had plenty of Maori teachers, and right through my childhood, til about 14, I along with all of my peers at school, learnt poi, taiaha, haka, action songs, tikanga, local stories (the Bird Woman of Kuru Ngatuku for example), and often did weekend trips to marae.
When I moved to Wellington for uni, I was shocked to realise that in my class, I was the only one to have had that experience. Everyone else came from other parts of the country where they simply didn’t learn poi, stick games, haka, action songs, or stay on marae. I thought that what was what everyone did. My friends in Wgton either did not have the opportunity, or perhaps local Maori felt unable to share their stories.
I guess the point is that while this article is American based, perhaps some measure of useful reflection can be done here on white or Pakeha privilege. I can certainly give plenty of examples where it has happened. Hopefully someone can start to tease out this matter here in Aotearoa.
Lori, I read your article a week or so ago when someone on Facebook posted it. I can absolutely appreciate all of your examples and considered it extremely well written. After reading the news tonight and watching the video of the black caretaker being shot in the leg by a white cop, your article immediately came to mind and I spent some time finding it again so I could write you a message. If that Florida man had been a white man lying on his back, would the same thing have happened? That black man (who clearly has a kind heart if he has devoted his life to taking care of autistic people!) did everything that he should do. Hands in the air, stating that it’s a toy truck and not a gun, laying on the ground, etc were all signs of submission. He knew he needed to do this based on recent happenings in the media. He did all the right things and he STILL got shot! Thank God he is here to tell us about it and didn’t die because of an overzealous cop. This incident today gave me even more insight into white privilege. I do my best to lead an unbiased life and teach my children the same. I only hope that race relations improve and people of all colors can appreciate life and not shoot a gun so readily. Thank you for the eloquent article.
Shannon
Dear Shannon,
Yes, it’s a good thing the man is alive, but do not rush to judgment. Let the courts decide. This is what you would want for yourself, I’m sure.
Sadly, the courts rarely have an opportunity to decide cases concerning the behavior of cops, because prosecutors almost always hide behind grand juries in these cases, and grand juries almost always decline to indict. Maybe it’s because, upon close, impartial review, the cases in question reveal no clearly indictable offense, but more likely because prosecutors put the cases in the best possible light for the grand juries in order to protect their coworkers, and because grand juries give too much deference to cops.
I am a white guy. The way you explained White Privelage now makes sense to me. It is the absence of experiences endured by people of color not the addition of experiences afforded by being white. I acknowledge White Privelage exists. What can I practically do?
Thank you for taking the time to write this, and for your courage in writing it. We could all learn a lot for your wit and strength.
Lori you are awesome. Thanks for taking the time to write this. Keep calm carry on.
Love the use of the white text interspersed with the black letters in the bolded summaries. Made me stop and go “Huh, why are some of the characters—…oooooooh”. Definitely a good moment of insight there.
Of course the article is wonderful too. I learned something :-).
[…] and tax paying citizens are judged as more and less valuable on the sheer accident of our skin. Minorities with darker skin have to be more articulate, more intelligent, and display more patience …And so #BlackLivesMatter is a response to this injustice, and strives to close the gap that racial […]
Thank you Lori! Thank you for sharing and thank you for being you. I’m a white man and white privilege is not something I learned about while growing up. It’s so hard to relate and your ten points are hard to conceive even though they are the truth. I’m sorry that is the side of society you’ve had to endure and reflect back on my past relationships with black friends over the years and hope I wasn’t part of the problem. The only way I think I can relate is by sharing this: When I lost my mother, whom I was close to, and when I witnessed death up close, it changed who I am. It changed the filter in my brain and the lens of my vision in life. I can categorize people in my life today as those that have endured a similar experience of losing a loved one and those that haven’t. While those that haven’t can attempt to show sympathy, I know that they don’t know. Those that have endured, however, have a different look in their eye when they express their sympathy. Your friend Jason, like myself and many other people of privilege, won’t ever be able truly sympathize with your plights but I for one will do my best to acknowledge that white privilege exists, treat everyone equally and do my best to put myself in the shoes of others. Most importantly, I’ll stand up to those who are ignorant and hurtful about this topic. Cheers!
Thank you and keep writing. Your words matter.
What a marvelous response.
[…] A version of this post originally appeared on goodblacknews.org […]
Thanks for rummaging through your memories to write this succinct account of the micro aggressions we endure all of our lives. You changed the game with this piece.
[…] A version of this post originally appeared on goodblacknews.org […]
Reblogged this on Elle Henry.
[…] A version of this post originally appeared on goodblacknews.org […]
Reblogged this on Me, Myself & I.
Thank you. I saw the article in the Huffington Post and, thanks to that I have now discovered your site. Sometime ago I learned to ask “teach me how to be an ally” and this article has taught me even more. Thank you, again.
[…] A version of this post originally appeared on goodblacknews.org […]
Very good article and quite compelling in identifying the issues of “white privilege and Black Lives Matter”….. However, now that you, Lori, have identified the problem what is YOUR solution to it?! To continue to “BASH” white people who can’t help that they are white and that so many others have have inadvertently or otherwise discriminated against you, your husband, your mother, your friends of color? Where does it reconcile with the notion that WE ALL need to learn how to love and respect one another. Case in point….. The LGBT person who wanted to SIMPLY point out that as a white woman, she suffers as well ONLY to be “BASHED” by the many on here who get pissed off if one was to DARE compare their misery and pain to any one that is of color. I mean I know a young man that would have LOVED to have had rocks thrown in his pool rather than have had the shit beat out of him daily at school simply because he was effeminate. That’s not saying having rocks thrown in your pool is okay but that now that we have been real clear in identifying that BLACK LIVES indeed do matter….then what? We go into a civil war?! We march and chant things like “death to the cops”? and think that is okay?! Again, it is good that you can differentiate BLM vs. ALM for those who don’t get it and that you are able to educate your white male friend on HIS “white privilege” but please do tell where is the fucking resolve in all of it??!!
Why should black people fix the problem white people created? I’m asking honestly.
It’s up to us to see the problem, to develop a solution (there may be many parts to this solution), and then to implement that solution.
Black Americans, the targets of white racism and the cushion for white privilege, have exactly zero responsibility for this.
White Americans who created this and who still sustain and spread this are entirely 100% responsible for fixing this.
It is very, very hard to see what is right in front of your eyes. We like our white privilege even as we deny it exists or that we pleasure in it.
James Baldwin said it very well, but was then and is now largely ignored:
“I have met only a very few people – and most of these were not Americans – who had any real desire to be free. Freedom is hard to bear. It can be objected that I am speaking of political freedom in spiritual terms, but the political institutions of any nation are always menaced and are ultimately controlled by the spiritual state of that nation. We are controlled here by our confusion, far more than we know, and the American dream has therefore become something much more closely resembling a nightmare, on the private, domestic, and international levels. Privately, we cannot stand our lives and dare not examine them; domestically, we take no responsibility for (and no pride in) what goes on in our country; and, internationally, for many millions of people, we are an unmitigated disaster.”
I could not agree with you more… in concept. It would be great if people cleaned up after themselves and fixed the issues they created. However, by and large, across the entire spectrum of humanity, people tend to only cleanup or fix things that cause them problems. For the most part, white people don’t have a problem with white privilege, so they are very undermotivated to make any changes. Should they? Yes, absolutely, even. However, if I wanted a change to be made, and I recognized that the people needing to make it weren’t disadvantaged (or even were advantaged) by the status quo… the one thing I wouldn’t be doing is waiting for that other party to make the change. It’s a lousy reality, but it’s the only one we’ve got.
* Note: there are plenty of white people out there who do care and are trying to make a difference. I’m speaking in generalities here, not universally. Also, this is not a “white thing” anyone enjoying advantage tends to move very slowly (if at all) toward fixing things that compromise that advantage.
With all due respect, Audra:
I need, (as a White Cis-Gender Lesbian woman) to look at my own racism, homophobia, ableism, agism and all the other “isms” within myself. I don’t need to overwhelm myself with Guilt and thus go right back into Denial about these attitudes that I personally hold; this leads to me doing NOTHING about my harmful beliefs, words, actions. I must wrestle with these ideas, attitudes and “isms” within my most private, innermost self and admit to them. I must allow myself to feel the pain and humiliation of realizing that I’m not a perfect person. I’m willing to feel that pain, because I’m a pretty ok person, and I find it acceptable to suffer a little inside if it will make me be a better person. That means, that I LISTEN when others of different races, colors, religions, abilities, sexual orientations, gender identities, ages, sensibilities TELL me that what I am doing, or the assumptions that I’m making about them is hurtful. I must change. The problem is as long as I as a White person continue to deny that I have a problem, then we’re going to continue to have Black people disrespected in the thousands of ways that they are each day. And it’s simply just not good enough to say that if “I” don’t experience racism, then it must not exist or must not be happening. People who act out their racism, through thoughtless words acts or attitudes pick their spots; they’re often sneaky. They pick where they think they can get away with it – that it’ll be hidden or denied. But everything comes out in the end – all will out. The truth will be revealed. And I’m GLAD when Black Americans and other speak up and tell their truths in all the gorey detail. Because it makes it much harder for those of us who perpetrate and perpetuate these aggressions to remain hidden.
I will NOT allow my (White) friends to tell “Black jokes.” I don’t think they’re funny. Nor are ethnic or racist or any other kind of those jokes funny that
marginalizes or stigmatizes or makes someone “other.” That’s what leads to “ethnic cleansing.” It all starts with some “harmless” jokes said in private about “those” people. We are all more alike than we are different and in the ways that we are different, we need to champion our own and each others’ differences – celebrate them with a big party – not be afraid of them!!!
We need to change from a Society that is Fear-based into one that is Love-based. I repeat: We need to change from a society that is Fear-based into one that is Love-based, from fear-based to Love-based.
Cheerio to you all! from Brooklyn, NY
Thank you for taking the time to write this. I lived in East Baltimore MD. in the 70’s. I too remember my friend’s pool being vandalized by boys throwing a lawn chair into their pool that the boys took from a neighbor’s house, and it tore the lining of their pool. When the parents of the boys were confronted, it only made them (parents and boys) more angry and that only led to many more surprises down the road. My friend and I were chased by 6 teenage boys down our alley. Thank God we were close to our houses and made it inside safely. I’m glad at the age of 9 years old we didn’t find out what those boys wanted! I remember taking the MTA bus to Western High School. I could not be involved in any afterschool activities or even go to the library to do research for an assignment because I would be chased, harassed, or called names. Therefore, I had to try to be home before it got dark. In elementary school girls and boys would always want to touch my hair, because it was different then theirs. Girls got mad at me because my hair was different and called me names, Like Honkey (sp?) My brother had it much worse, his friends moved away (as did mine later) and so he was alone. We did not own a car so we were dependent on mass transit and that just wasn’t safe walking back to our house from the bus stop after dark. In 1974, my brother was offered a full academic scholarship to his first choice college. It was in the bag, He only needed to go to the interview. Well, he made it through the front door, only be told that he didn’t qualify for the scholarship because he was not black. He never said that he was black on any application, but because of our address, they assumed that he was black. My mother was mugged on our front doorstep. She was pulled off of our marble steps and her head was cracked open. She had back and leg issues all of her life because of that mugging. After that a black woman in our neighborhood, who had a car would usually drive her to work in exchange for a small amount of gas money. I write this as a 54 year old white woman, I chose to not live in the past, but read your article on Facebook and felt we had a lot in common. I just wanted to share that with you.
[…] A version of this post originally appeared on goodblacknews.org […]
relates to a reply to a recent Nicholas Kristof piece on Trump:
NYT comment by Charles Tecumseh, Michigan 2 days ago:
“…I am so tired of the whole racism discussion; it has lost all meaning. Only a few bizarre freaks believe in the superiority of one race over others any more, which is what racism is, by the way. I believe in the infinite value of every human being regardless of race, ethnicity, or gender, and I believe in treating all people with respect and kindness, and I think I do a pretty good job of living up that ideal. Yet, I can still be tarred with accusations of unconscious racism just because I am white. I believe we as a society should utterly reject the concept of race and be color blind, which is now viewed by Orwellian liberals as racist. I say of color-blind “racism” what Patrick Henry said of treason, “Let us make the most of it.”
————Reply:
Important observations, here, as they reflect the conclusions of many in the majority today. It’s commendable and hopeful that so many have reached a place of valuing “every human being regardless of race, ethnicity, or gender, and I believe in treating all people with respect and kindness, and I think I do a pretty good job of living up that ideal.”
Though the worthiest of American goals, this apotheosis doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Taking a logical leap to “utterly reject the concept of race and be color blind” is an historically agnostic position. It assumes that no ongoing social structures exist to support racism. It asks us to apply a pristine abstraction to a messy and imperfect reality.
We still have much, much work to do before we reach MLK’s “promised land.” Rejecting racist ideology is an essential and laudable step along the way, but rooting racism out in its many forms and sources won’t be possible if we imagine that we each have the ability to individually “theorize” it away.
[…] A version of this post originally appeared on goodblacknews.org […]
[…] A version of this post originally appeared on goodblacknews.org […]
Reblogged this on City Girl/ Hippie Mom and commented:
Beautifully written.
I’ve been trying to make white people see what they don’t want to admit in FB discussions. Here’s the story I’ve been telling:
To deny black people are treated differently is just wrong. They ARE treated differently. It is a fact. It is not because everyone is KKK. It is much more subconscious than that. And the average white person isn’t out to discriminate, though some do. It is the unawareness of how other are treated. White people in general are clueless.
When I was in college back in the early 80’s, my best buddy that was my roommate was black. I joined a predominately black sorority. This was very odd then, but I didn’t think twice about it. I was raised in a home where no one ever spoke ill of anyone for their race, religion, etc. My father was very good friends with old blues musicians so our house was more colorful than the norm. I really had no clue about racism.
The moment I really remember was the bus. My roommate and I were going to take the bus to the Mall and back. The college is in a suburb. So the bus has a weird thing it is cheaper to travel to the mall since you were out of the city limit. The fair lets say was $1, and in the suburb it was 50 cents to get to the mall.
So once done shopping we wait for the bus. I get on and put my 50 cents in. My roommate gets on and puts her 50 cents in. Out of the bus driver’s mouth in a nasty tones comes, “It is going to take a lot more than that to get to Buffalo.” I hear this, and I spin around, and my roommate puts her hand out to stop me from speaking. And she very politely says, “I’m not going to Buffalo.” And he says still nastily, “Then where are you going?” She says, “Daemen College.” And then he says, “Oh.” No apology, nothing.
So we sit down, and I am fuming!! She says to me, “This is my reality. I have to deal with this on a daily basis.” And it hit me I had absolutely no clue. Even though I had experience some name calling, most people were respectful to us two when we were together because I was a white. I was like a shield that tempered their behavior. That bus driver didn’t realize we were together so I got to experience it.
And unfortunately, times have not changed enough. People’s assumptions about people of color are still skewed.
So how does this tie into the police? Even if you are not dealing with an overtly racist officer, it is those subconscious preconceived notions that affect what happens. It can cause more fear which then leads to more mistakes, and unfortunately lethal ones.
I shared your piece on my Facebook and it spawned a very interesting conversation between me and two of my friends. We were interested in your friends response. Did he respond? Is that something you could also share? Thanks for your blog post/oped/open letter/article..I’m not sure what to call it.
Thank you for this. It’s really eye opening.
Excellent write up. Anytime we can have civil conversations, we all win, even if but a little bit. I grew up in lilly white north. My parents went out of there way in the early 60’s to explain that a visiting black family was just like anyone else. But, of course I didn’t understand or comprehend the real, underlying issues.
When I joined the service, my first assignment was with a mostly black unit. I was inquisitive and wanted to learn and understand a different perspective. All were more than happy to describe their experiences and the issues they had faced, both in their communities and in Vietnam.
I’ve appreciated the lessons learned and the friendship these young men showed to me. I am a different person because of those guys.
Thanks for the great discussion!!!
Reblogged this on Princeton Comment.
[…] In a breakout session moderated by Lynwood Spell, a Princeton Theological Seminary student, Carolyn R. H. recommended this article, and we are glad to post it. Click here […]
[…] is a share of a blog post I think you should read, following my idea last week that I don’t need to hog your attention […]
Thank you! I appreciate you sharing this with us. I do understand how white people have certain privileges and how most are blind to it. First I’d like to point out that as you can see my name is Yvonne and that is a mainly black persons name but I am white. The reason I point that out is because I have noticed the different ways I’m treated or talked to by people over the phone vs. in person. Second thing, the very first time I became aware that race was an issue that caused separation or hate was when I was around 7 years old (in the late 70’s) my parents and I stopped at a convenience store and as I was walking out of the door to the car, ahead of my parents, two black girls called me a honky. Of course I later had to ask my parents what it meant. And lastly, we now live in a community where white people are the minority and my daughter does have classes where she is the only white student in the class. So I guess what I’m saying is unlike most white people I have at least had a SMALL taste of what you’re trying to explain to others. But I’m actually greatful for it because it has allowed me to be one that can take a step back and put myself in their shoes before making any judgements or assumptions on anyone which I believe is a rare blessing!
Hi, I’m Eric an American working in Africa for more than a decade. Started out my sojourn abroad with USAID, trips through Mali and Niger in the sub-saharan desert before making my way to Nigeria where I am now. Saw great things like Peace Corps active in farming projects near Tomboktou (I think back home it’s called Timbuk Two, and its about as far from civilization as you can get), pilots without borders, and other programs aimed at alleviating the root causes of suffering for humanity which I won’t get into here… (can catch my pictorals and some of the work I was privileged to undertake at http://www.linkedin.com/in/ericsonnenburg
Most of these programs were founded, funded, and operated by well meaning men of “white privilege” such as myself, with the exception of Peace Corps which if I remember correctly I think JFK launched in the 1960’s and made a state run NGO in essence, for youth service to humanity.
Every day I was in the deserts and impoverished regions (Mali and Niger were 2 of the poorest countries in the world measured by GDP and per capita incomes at the time) I saw suffering and inhumanity, that is hard to describe, unless you’ve been there. I’ve also seen generosity and humanity that gives me hope, from individuals on all sides of the spectrum.
I very much understand what you relate two as privilege as an unconscious (or worse, conscious) bias, which I agree is a very unflattering behavior no matter the source.
I also have been greatly aggrieved by being one of the few Americans operating in the Nigerian capital of Abuja, where I am often targeted by outright Racism (don’t know what else to call it), and subtle and not so subtle additional taxes I have to pay professionally and privately because I am “operating while white” in a totally African population. I have to pay “white tax” on every thing I do in pubic (actually I don’t sometimes – because I’m pretty acclimated and a forceful personality – but police corruption and corporate governance in Nigeria are rampant) No matter the purpose of my cause, I am heavily discriminated against and swim against that current constantly.
Trust me when I say that some of us, can really relate to your descriptions of bias and privilege because we’ve been through it. Another subtler example was growing up – I was a rebel with long hair – which I keep to this day as a sign and reminder that professionals don’t come from a stereotypical image, but should be evaluated by their character and performance during their careers. I’ve climbed to some fairly lofty heights and appointments, worked with presidents and Governors in the region etc…
I beleive in the end I was a stronger person for having been on both sides of the equation. But it’s a daily struggle to remember the good in people, when you are bombarded by the trivial weakness intrinsic to many people to classify, label, and disenfranchise others based on a stereotypes. That’s the real underlying cause, when we put labels on people, we create a divide of difference, like when I walk down the street from my house to the open market and everyone points and shouts “Oyinbo” -white man, because here I’m pretty different. I know the innocent and the children do this in a way that is not meant as malevolent, but at night if I venture to other parts of town the gangs of unemployed youth say the same word with a bit of menace that is very disconcerting. Anyway the point is that Great leaders never do this, and neither should real human beings. You point out differences to subjugate others, as you point out delicately and insight-fully in your piece.
I’d like your permission to share your post and perspective on my personal network at LinkedIN.
Regards,
Eric Sonnenburg
“its about as far from civilization as you can get” – will you listen to yourself?
I don’t think there is a group of humanity that lacks as much self awareness as those labelled (and treated as) “white”.
[…] privilege? What Lori Lakin Hutcherson told a white friend asked her opinion about white privilege. Good Black […]
Okay thank you for posting this I really appreciate being able to try to understand White Privilege I have run a portion of it thus far and I reached the part where it goes in to describe a little white boy throwing rocks into the pool I have run a portion of it this far and I reached the part where it goes into describe a little white boy throwing rocks into the pool and the you were unable to feel welcome and the neighborhood because it was a little white boy throwing the rocks and you happen to be black I myself happen to be white and I also had a little boy throw rocks towards my property as a child I was approximately 11 years old he threw rocks at my window and busted the window out it’s probably because I had kicked him earlier because he was being rude so he came to my window and threw rocks and busted it out my dad actually went and told his dad and his dad replaced the window cost luckily However the fact that neither one of us is black goes to tell me that this had nothing to do with race so there’s a very good chance that the little boy throwing rocks at your pool had nothing to do with race also but that he was just a little boy doing what little boys do they like to throw rocks they like to skip rocks across the water and sometimes they are mysterious and they like to throw rocks in pools I personally do not think it had anything to do with race it’s stories like those that really make me wonder what exactly is going on with this I would really like to understand this white privilege thing but unfortunately I’ll have to read the rest of the stories because that one didn’t get anywhere with me nothing whatsoever
I am white. When a store clerk is rude to me or the police pull me over, I know it isn’t because of my race. If I were Black, I’d always be wondering if it was racism. After a ton of racism, I might assume it is racism unless otherwise proven.
Thank you. You’ve done a wonderful job of explaining the kinds of painful experiences white people are often oblivious to. And it must have been painful to remember. May those wounds be healed.
[…] https://goodblacknews.org2016/07/14/editorial-what-i-said-when-my-white-friend-asked-for-my-black-o… […]
[…] When My White Friend Asked My Black Opinion on White Privilege […]
Reblogged this on Brian Ragsdale Writer.com and commented:
Reading this was like reading my own autobiography.
Thank you for this! I’ve read this post a couple of times and have passed it on. I really want to know if your friend has responded to you yet?
I very much appreciate the eye-opening examples you’ve given. As a white man, I find it shocking how little I know about what some of my friends have experienced their whole lives. I feel ashamed that I don’t have as well-developed a sense of justice as I thought, but hopefully your article will help ameliorate that.
Here’s my quandary as a white disabled woman (so I get experiencing discrimination, just not experiencing racism). I certainly try not to be overtly racist, and to learn about what I guess I’d call “unintentional” racism — that is, things that I never really thought of as being racist.
For example, recently while I was working on an ad campaign that involved fruit (yes seriously) one of our photo editors sent my (black) boss a bunch of possible photos to use, one of which was of an absolutely adorable little (black) girl, sitting on her front steps — eating watermelon. My boss absolutely flipped her lid, screeching that it was a racist stereotype. When I asked what was *so* wrong about blacks and watermelons, cause I genuinely didn’t get why she was freaking out, she couldn’t tell me; she just knew it was some kind of stereotype. Honestly, I found it kind of silly that she was offended without knowing why she was offended, but out of curiosity, I did some research. The story of the watermelon, slavery and freed blacks is freaking fascinating BTW. Look into if you’re unaware of the connection. So now I do *get* it, and I certainly won’t ever submit a photo of a black child (or adult) eating watermelon to anyone. Knowledge acquired; lesson learned.
But when it comes to the more institutional stuff, sometimes it seems as if white folks can’t do anything right. Some black people want us to be advocates; others tell us that when we do, we are “taking over.” Some want us to “join the conversation,” while others don’t want us “invading their safe spaces.” Quite frankly it’s really confusing sometimes. And when genuinely well-meaning people keep walking into walls because they listen to one group (maybe they’ve done what Jason did and asked their black friends), only to be told that what they are now doing is completely wrong and they are only making things worse, they are eventually going to stop trying out of frustration. This is especially the case when white people try and ask questions to better understand, to try and stop making mistakes, only to be told by black people that they (the black people) don’t “owe” the whites any explanations. Well, it’s kind of hard to have a dialogue if no one is willing to talk to us.
I’d like to say that I get how frustrated black people are, and how tired they are. But I don’t. But I do know how frustrated I get dealing with the same crap over and over as a woman, and more so as someone with a misunderstood disability. I get tired of explaining the same damned crap. But I’m also convinced that the only way to combat ignorance (and I truly believe that the reason I have as many difficulties as I do is mostly ignorance) is to talk, explain and educate. So I’d like to think that at least *part* of the solution here is the same thing. While I know that racism is still alive and well, it’s not the same as it was in the past. I think that a good portion of people genuinely want to try, but a lot of us are blind, groping in the dark. And whether it’s right or wrong, it’s going to take the injured party shining the light to for the rest of us to find our way. I know that isn’t fair. But I think it might be the only way.
So don’t shut us out when we ask well-meaning but seemingly stupid questions. I promise, some of us really are trying. But the truth is, while it’s better than it used to be, it still sucks. And it would be really unfortunate if the people who were trying ended up giving up because they felt like their efforts were never going to be good enough.
PS — I know. I know that this sounds like I just made this all about how white people are getting their feelings hurt. That is NOT what I’m trying to say. I’m not trying to say that it’s even a drop in the bucket compared to generations of anger and unfairness and fear and maltreatment and servitude and being treated as less than human. What I *am* saying is that please don’t shut us out when we’re trying. We’re not the enemy. Don’t treat us like we are. We really do want to make it better. We’re trying to be allies.
I am in my sixties. I am one of those on the Autism Spectrum. For most of my life I have seen people around me exercising skills and awareness that I have at best struggled to understand and largely failed to duplicate. I understand privilege quite well. I understand living without it quite well.
[…] essay originally appeared on Good Black News and is reprinted with permission of the author. byLori Lakin Hutcherson […]
[…] the Black Lives Matter movement at the forefront of news, with white privilege being talked about daily, I decided to expand my reading a bit more away from my usual sci fi, […]
[…] A version of this post originally appeared on goodblacknews.org […]
[…] Source: EDITORIAL: What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege […]
[…] Source: EDITORIAL: What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege […]
[…] “What I said when my white friend asked for my black opinion on white privilege.” Good article. […]
Reblogged this on Random Ramblings; Myriad Musings and commented:
This. Right here. Read it…please?
Thank you.
🙂
Reblogged this on O LADO ESCURO DA LUA.
Reblogged this on firefly465.
Reblogged this on Kate McClelland.
I love this article. This is what I will show people when they ask me the silly, derailing question of “Why do you have such a chip on your shoulder? Why are you so harsh / angry / bitter (insert insulting adjective of your choice)?” I have given the exact same answers above, in many different situations – and it is draining to have to relive hateful, dehumanizing experiences over, and over, and over again, just to “educate” some idiot who will still remain blissfully and blindly ignorant. I got tired of answering.
The thing that stands out the most, for me, is the “Woe is me, the liberal white, who still manages to offend people even though I’ve done EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to understand, tolerate, and get along with ABSOLUTELY EVERYBODY!” tone that comes across in the original question. Particularly this:
I’d ask the original, white questioner this question: “Hi. If you know so many people, personally, then why did you never listen to your (token) Black friends when they told you things that you chose to ignore? Why the sudden cry for help? What has made you feel so misunderstood, recently?”
I’d love to know the mind behind the verbose, flowery, contrived histrionics, personally.
Just my $0.02…
🙂
Wow…I wrote a response and it vanished. I guess I should have typed it up in a document, first…just saying that this was an excellent article.
I rarely comment on posts where so many others have chimed in eloquently already, but I have to add my voice to this one. I apologize for coming down hard on your friend, but if he truly cannot understand “white privilege” he has been sleep-walking through life.
Has he never been touched or riled by a biographical flick with an example of prejudice toward one color that doesn’t exist when one is born white? A human interest story in a newspaper where “a kindly black person” is lauded for doing what was right – as if that were a RARE occurrence in the black community? Or walked down a dark street and heard footsteps approaching him from behind, and been relieved to find they were “white” footsteps? THAT’s white privilege.
Here’s another story for him — to my [white] friend’s credit, a man who doesn’t think of himself as harboring prejudices of any sort, this is an example he now repeats to others:
My white male friend (who has the patience of a gnat) needed to stop in a convenience store with a black friend of his – a store that is open all night and frequented by the local police force whenever they want coffee or a snack. As my friend paid and rushed out of the store, he kept yelling at his friend to GET a MOVE on, they were late! ONLY once the black man sauntered to the car and leisurely closed the door and fastened his seat belt, did the black man turn to say, “No black man is dumb enough to hurry out of a convenience store when there are cops around.” BTW – this, in an upscale neighborhood that is racially mixed. THAT’s white privilege.
I could go on with probably dozens of other examples, as new ones pop up far too often for my comfort – as could he, if he paid attention at all. The fact that he hasn’t is perhaps the most insidious example of white privilege.
xx,
mgh
(Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
– ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
“It takes a village to transform a world!”
Reblogged this on Greta Weiner Digital and commented:
A smattering of instances of white privilege examples. Well written, thoughtful and thought provoking.
Thank you for writing this up. You and many others are right of course by saying that as a white male I have never experienced this. That at worst the reception I receive pretty much across the world is neutral, life in easy mode so to say.
But I guess the reason why I don’t like the term “white privilege” is that this privilege is mostly an absence of abuse. There are of course a lot of disadvantaged white males all over the world, and just because they’re not as frequently abused as their black counterparts hardly accounts for privilege, wouldn’t you say?
And not being abused for your skin colour should not constitute a privilege, it should be the norm, what to expect, and extend that “privilege” to everyone else. It’s not a zero-sum game the way I see it, it’s just a civil way to interact with one another.
At least that’s the way I currently see it, any disagreements?
This is great, thanks. There is one thing that your post brings to mind, and maybe it’s semantic, but I do think it’s a source of confusion. (And it in no way refutes or disagrees with your response.)
I have thought for a while that ‘privilege’ is the wrong word.
‘Privilege’ is something special you get as a member of some group. It’s sort of above the baseline of treatment that everyone gets, or should get. What you are describing is not a special thing white people get, but an ordinary baseline of treatment that people of color aren’t getting–and should.
It’s not that I as a white guy am getting something extra when I don’t get hassled by police. It’s that men of color are getting hassled. No one is arguing that I should be treated like them. The argument is that they should be treated like me.
I think that confuses people. It’s at least part of the ‘but I don’t feel privileged’ response you see from a lot of white people.
But I don’t really have a better word to use. I’ve thought about it.
Very interesting. I’m a white woman, and not in America. Not to detract in any way, but I couldn’t help thinking as I read that I could come up with parallel personal examples for most of these to illustrate male privilege too. I’m sure you could also!
Lori:
“Privilege” is defined as a special advantage or immunity. Therefore, “White privilege” should be a term that implies special advantages or immunities that are only available to White people. When one explains circumstances or scenarios of White privilege, she should be able to cite an immunity or an advantage that is exclusively reserved for White people via society or its institutions. If she cannot do this, she either does not know of (a) White privilege or there is not one to be known.
In your article, you attempted to define the term “White Privilege” by citing a lack of experiences. This is not how a term can be legitimately defined. Most if not all of your examples could encompass Asian Americans, my cat, and/or a rock. With this in mind, you should be able to understand how your perspective and article are objectively wrong. There’s no question or need for debate if we are working from the widely used and historical definition of “privilege”.
I’m not saying White privilege doesn’t exist; although, I am hard-pressed to find a specific advantage or immunity that is garnered via white skin. If, for example, White people were seen as more desirable applicants for university, simply because of their skin color, I could cite that as racial privilege, but Whites do not benefit from such an advantage. If White people were able to lobby the government and garner public funds for racially specific causes, while being immune from accusations of ‘racism’, I could use that as an example as well, but alas…
I hope you’re still reading because this is the crux of my correspondence: By attributing the living standards of Whites to privilege, you are telling minorities—specifically Blacks—that the destiny of individuals is determined by others. You are instilling and reinforcing a sense of helplessness and hopelessness while at the same time stoking racial resentments. There’s a reason why all of your references to White privilege were negatives: You are not referring to White privilege. You are referring to Black disadvantages. If you ever want to do anything about them, you have the responsibility to recognize and champion that which would ameliorate those disadvantages. Right now you and your comrades are focusing outside of the (Black) individual. You are focusing on White privilege. You are focusing on the 1%. You expect others to fix the problems that are befalling Blacks. And people like you have been doing this for over fifty years, and guess what?
If you really care about Black people, stop perpetuating the ignorance and hatred of racial divisions. If you really care about Black people, look your brothers and sisters in the eyes and tell them what they DON’T want to hear. Tell them that they don’t deserve more (of whatever) simply because they exist or because others have more. Tell them that if they want more, they will have to give others a reason to give them more. Tell them that they are responsible for their own destinies. Tell them that they have the power and freedom to succeed as the Asian Americans have. Tell them that the game is not fixed but that it is not equal. Tell them that life is not fair and that when one is mature enough and intelligent enough to understand that, she can and will focus on what she is best at, and through that avenue she will finally gain that which she seeks.
PS I wouldn’t recommend sharing this information with your colleagues or fellows at HuffPo. You would likely be shunned. The modern political left likes to keep its voting blocks nice and safe on their victimhood plantations. (Don’t forget to vote, right?)
Ethan, excellent analysis. I hope, though do not believe, that it will be studied carefully.
Just once, ONE TIME, I want to hear this from a white person who has been pulled over, just because of the color of his skin and had a gun SHOVED INTO HIS MOUTH, while his 4yr old son watched in horror from the back seat and then, only then, will some actually be able to feel what we feel. But instead, they like to label us “lazy, entitled, only wanting handouts, not looking to better themselves. Like you pointed out, there is that 5% percent that is so loss in the system that they need someone to show them a way out, I agree. Nevermind the other 90%, who work hard, attend school, pay their taxes, fight wars, become doctors, lawyers, and social leaders, in spite of the obvious disadvantages growing up in the 60’s,70’s, 80’s,. In fact we don’t want shit from you, We just want our fair share.
this is intelligently and incredibly written. thank you for sharing. I feel lucky to have grown up in a very diverse city where different cultures and races were all prevalent so I always knew that white privilege existed even since a very young age. Being aware is so important.
Jamie
http://www.jamieeverafter.com
Thank you for the very apparent hard work you put into these recollections. All, excllent examples of racism. Like your friend who originally asked the question, I too am interested in the examples of “institutional” racism that BLM and the new-left keep talkng about. I read every word of your post with anticipation, from one example of racism to the next waiting for the “institutional” one to be illustrated. Alas, it was not to be. The overwhelming majority of examples, especially fom your childhood seem to arise from integration into majority-white neighbohoods and schools. The results were much like what one would expect from a white family moving into a majority-black neighborhood but, with less violence and intimidation. Please, if you ever consider making an addendum to this blog, try to give examples of “institutional” racism. I am as much in the dark about my privelege and whiteness as most are and, could really use the primer.
Thank you, in-advance.
I liked Lori’s article, it was thoughtful and thought provoking. Too bad it was followed by the SJW Triathlon Competition, as one smug voice after another tried to top each others’ put down of posters’ human pain that the SJW mob didn’t feel met their standard.
Total joke. A circle jerk of PC. Embarrassing, dead end soliloquies that sounded like they were being read off the same 3×5 card. Wonderful example of why you wind up shouting at people as they retreat just to get away from your intolerable posturings. Funny in a sort of sad, demented way.
There is certainly good black news. Lori’s feature was a good example of how that works. The rest of the holier than thou one-up excesses…meh.
Thank you for putting into words what I have had difficulty in describing to some of my friends.
I loved your post. Sorry for some of these comments. Unfortunately, it seems we still have a long way to go.
By the way, what did Jason think of your response?
God help us. These replies are unbelievable.
I just wanted to thank Ms. Hutcherson who inspired me to write my own blog post here: http://www.well-meaningmama.com/2016/08/what-i-want-to-tell-my-male-friends.html
I don’t like people who acknowledge white privilege as thing. I like people who are way past that. I like people who understand that all people, including white, live with prejudice against them: Asians, Jews, Muslims, Indians including Hindus, etc. And let’s not forget whites living with prejudice at the hands of blacks. There are idiots in every crowd, but many people have learned not to allow the effects the idiots wish to bring into their lives. I like and admire all the black musicians, actors, athletes, machinists, authors, politicians, carpenters, and so many more who have risen above self-pity and made the most of their lives.
This article is about the cherry picked experiences of an elite person whose childhood was vastly more privileged than mine. Yes, I am white. I can think of nothing that privilege had brought me. Hard and consistent work, a proper world view that assured me that I am an equal child of the Universe, coupled with the understanding that the love I give is equal to the love I take allowed me to flourish.
“i can think of nothing that privilege…..” thats white privilege, dummy. the inability to see how your own skin-titled position in society affords you benefits that a black man will never have because hes black. what are you a doctor of? idiocy??
Ms. Lori,
I must commend you on such a wonerful written and fabulously articulated article. I too (like most if not all) am one who has suffered racism and prejudices all because I am a black male. I often find myself in a conundrum because when I am treated unfairly in any way because of my skin tone I want to lash out at EVERY white person or say I “hate” all white people…but then I think (well honestly Gods spirit comes to me) and say that not all of them are bad nor do they treat you that way…so I sit back and take a breath and calm down…but it pains me to know, feel and experience that their are those who treat me just like any and all other black people because of my color and not by my intellect. I’ve lost jobs behind this or not even been considered for a position because of it. When people have found out who I am in person (because on paper I seem great for a position) the look on their faces and the tones of their words cut deep and I walk out knowing that my applicaton/resume was just tossed in the trash…this is something that white people do not have to deal with and are given the benefit of the doubt no matter what their background is…so I thank you for sharing this and for your stories and yes (like you) I have suffered much grief behind racism and prejudice and I can only pray to God that it will end one day and hopefully before I pass this earth…again thank you….
That’s a very useful list, and I appreciate it. My white privilege has been turned around on me a few times, leading me to have a better idea of life without it. At most, only for a few months, but I hope it’s made me into a better and more understanding person.
[…] What I Told My White Friend when he Asked for my Black Opinion- Good Black News […]
Thanks for the great article. I would like to share with you how I discovered that my white mind got “colonized” by racist media. I had a job in my late twenties reading 3 newspapers for a politician.This involved quickly scanning each page of all 3 newspapers for any relevant news. One day, when scanning the tabloid-type newspaper, I noticed a picture of a young black man looking directly and seriously into the camera. I thought “what did he do wrong”? So I read the brief story beneath that said he had heroically caught a toddler who fell off an apartment balcony. Ugh! I felt horrible and somehow no longer the person I thought I was. When did my automatic thinking change? Likely, others, who saw the same photo but simply scanned the paper without reading, added one more image, to cement their thinking.
That’s a great comment. One summer in the eighties I toured with a Christian Rock Band, one of the stops being Miami. Being from the Pacific Northwest I was amazed at the variety of African descended ethnic groups. Cuban, Haitian, Dominican, Jamaican, Panamanian, and US born (among others). These were all distinct people groups with different languages and customs.
Upon returning from tour the headlines read “Black Riot in Miami,” and I thought to myself, “who are they talking about? Haitians, Cubans, Americans, who? Clearly not every kind of person with dark skin decided to riot!”
And then it hit me… before that trip I would have thought I knew what they were saying, and wouldn’t have realized how horrible a racial liable the headline was.
I’ve never forgotten that moment either.
Dear Ms. Hutcherson, I am late to this topic, I know, but I wanted to thank you for what you wrote. From your description, I have white privilege. I think I was mostly unaware of this fact because I have tried to always treat people fairly, and by their actions. I have a few questions though, and they are not meant as argumentative, or defensive, although I know many preface that intent with this statement, I truly don’t. Where do I stand and those who have committed these actions stand in this debate, as the following is concerned.
1. My child attended an almost completely non-white elementary school. He was called names, and the staff acted like it was not a problem and we should just ignore it. We were stared at and could tell people were talking about us.
2. In the grocery store, on more than one occasion, the clerk was vivacious and talkative to the person in line before me, but when I said hello and smiled, she barely registered that I was even there.
3. I was third in line at a store when the next lane opened up and was told to move to the next lane, the women in front of me at the original lane were angry I had been asked to move instead of them and came over in front of me to check out their items. They then waited outside until I came out so they could scream “honky” at me all the way to my car, and remind me we had a black president now.
I can’t think how anything but the color of my skin caused these issues. For me, accepting my white privilege is easier if others accept their issues. Racism exists in all races. I am sure there will be responses here which cover a wide range of opinions. So before someone says now I know how they feel, or I probably did something to cause it, let me say this; I did not question if you had done something to cause your examples, so I hope none of your readers will, and I don’t think because someone treats you poorly that you have the right to treat others that way too. I understand anger, frustration, and distrust, but I would hope your readers wouldn’t negate the racism against white people simply because it hasn’t been as historically prevalent.
Thank you for your time, and hopefully, your response.
Martha O’Brian
Martha, you and your child encountered prejudice. It was ugly and the school certainly shouldn’t have tolerated name-calling. Were you ever denied a place to live because you are white? Were you ever refused a job because you are white? If you chose to go to college, did race keep you out of your preferred school? Do you worry that the police will harass you because you are white? Do store clerks follow you around because you are white? Every time something bad happens, do you wonder if it is because you are white? If you live in the US, you probably answer no to all of the above. That’s white privilege. Black people have all the problems and challenges white people have – poverty, disability, gender discrimination, homophobia – piled on top of the way they are treated for being black.
The puzzling thing is that not all black people have these problems. Why is that?
Thank you dozotheclown, for agreeing that my family has been the recipient of racial prejudice in the school system. As to your other questions, I think the answer would be..it depends on which neighborhood I was trying to live in and which college I was trying to get into. And yes, many times I have felt like something bad happened because I was white, case in point being the instance I cited in the store with the name calling.
Awesome list. “born on second base and thinks he hit a double.”
Thank you for this well-written article. Some of my experiences were being told by my boss in a meeting with 7 other people after I had been submerged with work: “we pay your salary, so do the work”. Not only was this extremely offensive, it was racist, and sexist; he would have never said it to someone who had been white. Unfortunately having not grown up in America, I did not know the way to deal with this was to go straight to HR. The next one, was my boss telling me to stay home after I got back from a conference in Africa, less I bring Ebola to his office! There was no Ebola in the country I visited! While in college, I worked for the biology department, and so took care of the atrium with birds and plants, one day, some old white lady opened the door and started laughing… when asked why she was laughing, “she said she thought I was a monkey”!
I’m white. I’ve had some fun as a kid of 12 years when the neighborhood ‘friends’ of the same age found out my family was of German heritage so, of course, we were obviously Nazis. They would stand in a crowd around our cars and call us all the fun names to match. I’ve had an inkling, a hint, of what you’ve gone through, but I don’t pretend to claim ownership here. Your number 7, with Master Sally musing out loud about how proud the servers must be to be serving the nation’s best and brightest. Weren’t you, a black, a woman, a member of those “best and brightest”? Was it so awful to be celebrated so? Would have made a difference if the servers were white, Latino, or Indian? Was Master Sally just being sarcastic?
WOW, JUST WOW! I don’t know you but I am so impressed by these words. You, your family and ALL your friends should be so proud of you….I know I am! Thank you for your honesty, I wish you and yours the best life has to offer.
Reblogged this on Women and Guns and commented:
Thank you, Lori, for sharing your personal experiences. People everywhere should read your post. Although your experiences center around race, I can’t help but relate to some of your feelings simply because I am a woman. A white woman. Being dismissed for race or gender by another human being is simply unacceptable. It holds us back as a society. We teach women the skills to be safe and even utilize guns if needed, and are constantly looked upon as somehow inferior to many of our male counterparts and even the public in general. It is exhausting at times.
[…] Source: EDITORIAL: What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege […]
Dear Lori,
With all respect, I think you are absolutely wrong about White Privilege”.
Point for point…
Situation 1: Rocks in the pool.
“This one has a happy ending because my mom was and is badass about matters like these, but I hope you can see that the white privilege in this situation is being able to move into a “nice” neighborhood and be accepted not harassed, made to feel unwelcome, or prone to acts of vandalism and hostility.”
No such thing as White Privilege.
This is a case where mean kids are just being mean kids. Nothing in this story screams evidence of racism. If there actually was, I am sure you would have made far more of a point of it. Instead, you just happened to be black and the boys happened to be white. Racism as a cause is not determined.
In point of fact. it is surprising that your take-away on this is that it only had a happy ending because your Mom is a ‘bad-ass” and God forbid it had anything to do with the (obviously) white mom NOT BEING a racist and agreeing on what her son did was wrong.
But that would spoil the narrative, wouldn’t it?
Situation 2: A Boy called your sister a nigger.
While absolutely racist and a disgusting act on the part of a boy… it does not show anything other than yes.. some people are racist. there will always be some people that are complete assholes and racists. From all races. There are a great many black racists and racist organizations as well as White racists.
This does not prove systemic racism on behalf of all Whites.
You go on to conclude: ” If it’s unclear in any way, the point here is if you’ve NEVER had a defining moment in your childhood or your life, where you realize your skin color alone makes other people hate you, you have white privilege.”
Then I guess I do not have White Privilege because I am inundated daily by news of Blacks and others calling for the murder and extinction of “all Whites” simply because I am white.
From La Raza and #blacklivesmatter protesters, to the New Black Panthers and THIS GUY…
https://youtu.be/UEqa90XpPw0
So yes. I do know what it is like to have other people want to hate me (Even murder me and all my family) simply because of the color of my skin.
Situation 3: Being the only different person in a group
“The point here is if you’ve never been “the only one” of your race in a class, at a party, on a job, and so on, and/or it’s been pointed out in a “playful” fashion by the authority figure in said situation – you have white privilege.”
I work and live in South Texas, a region with a very high Hispanic population. I HAVE BEEN the only White in a group of Hispanics who quite often and derisively discussed me, a Güero, right in front of my face, in Spanish, thinking I did not understand what they are saying.
Situation 4: Affirmative Action.
“The point here is if you’ve never been on the receiving end of the assumption that when you’ve achieved something it’s only because it was taken away from a white person who “deserved it” – that is white privilege”
The Problem here is not “White Privilege” but “Affirmative Action” itself.
Everyone, even Blacks, should hate Affirmative action.
Whites should hate it because Affirmative Action does reward those not the top qualified simply because of a need to meet some arbitrary ratio of representative color.
Blacks should hate it because as is the case with your hard working friend… it will cast a doubt on whether he actually earned his place through hard work (Which I am sure he did) or whether he was a recipient of Affirmative action.
Affirmative Action tarnishes the accomplishments of Blacks who have worked hard to earn their place. And takes away the accomplishments of Whites who have also worked hard to earn their place.
Accomplishment should ONLY be merit based and be 100% color-blind.
Situation 5: Harvard?
“The point here is if no one has ever questioned your intellectual capabilities or attendance at an elite institution based solely on your skin color, that is white privilege”.
You have failed to demonstrate that they were questioning your intellect based upon race and have no evidence that they would not have said the same thing to someone who was white.
This IS a case of you being overly sensitive and looking for an excuse to cry “Racism” when there is none.
And Yes. My intellectual capabilities are challenged all the time simply because I am White.
YOU are proof of that. You assume that because I am white, that I benefit from non-existent ‘White Privilege”, that my views on racism are not valid.
Situation 6: The College reading group
Yes that boy was an ass. However it is not proof of systemic white racism, just that HE was likely racist.
For the record, I highly admire Martin Luther King Jr. but detest Malcolm X. Namely because their methods were very different. King inspired peace and equality. Malcolm X inspired only hate and distrust. Violence.
“The point here is – the canon of literature studied in the United States, as well as the majority of television and movies – have focused primarily on the works or achievements of white men. ”
So what is your solution, Given that while there are a great many Blacks who have great achievements and are much celebrated, they ARE outnumbered by the accomplishments of Whites. That is not to say Whites are better than Blacks, But in the historical past, they have had greater opportunity. Yes White Privilege was a thing in the past. Just not today. So what is your answer. to flood the market with only the achievements of Blacks and to not mention White Achievement at all in order to level the field falsely? This is like people discussing Slavery Reparations despite the fact that no White person alive in the USA today ever owned a slave and no black person alive in the US today was a slave. (Despite ignorant Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee’s claim to the contrary For the record, she also thinks Neil Armstrong walked on Mars, not the Moon.)
Situation 7: The Dorm master incident
Concerning the word “Master”. Just because a word in a certain context (Master/Slave) has a racist history and connotation does not preclude that the same term has other legitimate uses as in “Dorm master”
Concerning the Dorm master’s remarks….
“he point here is, if you’ve never been caught off guard when you are just trying to enjoy a meal by a well-paid faculty member’s patronizing and racist assumptions about how grateful black people must feel to be in their presence – you have white privilege.”
She could well be a closet racist.
But again she might not be. She could simply be meaning people serving those attending Harvard. Still an elitist and snobbish thing to say and in bad taste but not racist at all. But because the staff were Haitian, you ASSUME that it was deliberately racist in intent.
The point here is- That your assumption of racism simply because the Dorm master was white, is just as wrong, just as racist as her comment is IF it actually was racist in intent.
You see racism everywhere because you want to see racism everywhere. You look for it, and expect to find it so you do. Even where none likely exists.
Situation 8: The Boss
Welcome to Life. Bosses always think they are smarter than those that work for them. Grow up and get some maturity. I can damned well guarantee you that he thought he was better than you because he was the boss and you were new, whether he claimed later to judge you because you were black or not. That’s just an excuse. (on his part, not yours). People get prejudged all the time.
Sometimes it is because of race. Sometimes it is for other things.
I have been prejudged for being a Four-eyes.
I guess that’s what?… 20/20 privilege?
I have been prejudged for being a red-head
red-headed woodpecker… Souless Ginger…
What “privilege” would you call that?
Grow up. Stop being a special snowflake.
Or wait.. Can I say snowflake?
After all snowflakes are depicted as white and you being Black and all. I never know what a person might choose to see as racist even though it’s not.
“Snowflake Privilege”
Situation 9: Racial Profiling, or: The Case of the Floppy Eared Bunny Rabbit
Profiling, regardless of the basis of the profiling is a legitimate law enforcement tool.
I know an Officer, that has a high arrest/drug bust rate on just traffic stops.
His nickname on the force is the “Cadillac man”, His motto is “Pick a Caddy, Any Caddy”
9/10 times a tricked out Cadillac, there will be “drugs or thugs” in the car.
When he sees a Cadillac, he will follow the car for a few block if he hasn’t anything more specific to do and is just patrolling about. If the car makes no infractions, he will move on. He will not falsify a reason, but if the driver of the Cadillac makes even the slightest infraction, he will initiate a stop. If it turns out to be an ordinary Joe Citizen on his way home from work, he will often give just a verbal warning only on the infraction and send him on his way. But more oft than not, there will be evidence of drugs in plain sight, or the driver and/or passengers are wanted with warrants for their arrest.
Another situation is a car, not of the best quality, cruising very slowly through a rich neighborhood at 4 in the morning. slowing up and pausing before certain cars or homes before moving on.
Now there is a possibility that it may just be a less well to do out of town relative trying to find his family member’s home for the first time after a long trip for a visit. But you and I and the Officer all know it is far more likely it’s a burglar casing the neighborhood. Now driving slowly is not an excuse to initiate a traffic stop, but like with Cadillac Man above, he will follow and keep an eye out on the vehicle until it moves on, or makes a violation strong enough to warrant a traffic stop so the officer can ID the potential suspect.
And her is the thing you people decrying “Racial Profiling” never seen to get.
Nearly 99% of the time.. the Officer is basing his stop on the actions of the Driver and Vehicle and has no idea of the race of the suspect until AFTER he initiates the stop and is approaching the vehicle.
“He stopped me because I am Black” is almost ALWAYS a BS excuse by the perpetually offended.
But I am White thus my opinion on Racial Profiling is invalid, right?
Racist!
Situation 10: Media Bias.
Yes. the ONE situation where you really have grounds. Yet even here your argument falls a bit flat.
Yes, there is Media Bias. Because the media is out to sell stories and nothing sells stories more than sensationalism and controversy.
How many times was Zimmerman called White, though he is Hispanic, to sell a narrative?
How many times was Michael Brown called a “Gentle Giant” despite his thuggery to sell a narrative?
Yes, You do have a point about headlines using a Black man, rather than the individual’s name. Same for Whites too when the narrative is promoting racial tension. For example:
“White Cop shoots black suspect”
rather than:
“Police Officer shoots Armed Robber”
Racism is a two way street and what you are showing is NOT “White Privilege.
Regarding Racist trolling
“I also receive a fair amount of highly offensive racist trolling. I don’t even respond. I block and delete ASAP.”
As well you should, and I 100% agree with you.
I see racist trolling online from Blacks and White alike all over the internet.
Many of them downright despicable.
The danger here, however… is what do you consider “racist trolling”
I have seen too many on the side of BLM and Liberals espousing “White Privilege” that simply take ANYONE, especially “Whites” who dare to have a different opinion than them, who disagrees with them (as I do) that their comments are “racist trolling”
They are ONLY interested in opinions that agree with them and shut down free speech despite claiming to be defenders of free speech.
The danger here is that you are looking only for an “Echo Chamber” to validate your own opinion.
I am not a racist troll
My father is a racist, and he and I do not have a relationship because my ex-wife was not white.
He claims my Marriage failed BECAUSE I did not marry a “White Girl”.
Our entire relationship now, mainly because of that, is now limited to a 2-3 minute phone conversation a few times a year, around holidays and that’s it.
Nor am I trolling you.
I truly think you are absolutely wrong about “White Privilege” and I think I have amply demonstrated why.
You may disagree.
We both have that right.
And unlike certain leftist “defenders of free speech” who shut down free speech with political correctness….
I HAVE defended Free Speech.
Veteran. United States Navy.
I have also in my time, picked up trash at a trash dump for minimum wage, while you have attended Harvard.
So you can take your “White Privilege” and blow it up your (bleep)
Sincerely,
Scott Hanson,
Victoria Texas.
Scott why waste all that energy trying to convince black folks of how wrong they are as ‘privilege Black Americans” to claim that systematic oppression and racism exists strongly in America even to this day. Why not use some of that energy to educate white folks, that ,”Yes, they are Americans, every last one of them, born and bred in this country,” and “No, they are not out to “pillage, rape and kill white folks!” As the new “underground mantra” goes these days. White folks use to smile and say hello, now, especially the elders are so confused they don’t know what to do – except listen to the hatemongers and the wicked – in order to bring the Whole House down. Some folks are so easily swayed by the loud and powerful.
Thank you so much ma’am for this article.. Bless you..
Thank you! I grew up in small town Iowa and now live in Kansas City, I live in a neighborhood with white, black, Hispanic and Asian people. They are all amazing neighbors – and this will help me be a better neighbor to them.
[…] https://goodblacknews.org2016/07/14/editorial-what-i-said-when-my- white-friend-asked-for-my-black-o… […]
As a white male having grown up in a lily-white suburban city near Detroit, I once had the bewildering experience of being mistaken for black man by the local police. In a brief flash, my white privilege was lost, only to be angrily re-established by yours truly, as only the privileged can demand. Let me explain.
One evening at work, during my lunch break, I drove for some fast food. Because I worked in the food industry, I wore a hairnet while working and didn’t remove it while driving. This was around 1990, an era of “Jheri Curl” and hair nets for some black men. This was also a period of heavy profiling by the local police of black motorists. A daily sight was seeing older vehicles pulled over, with a black operator, being inspected by the police. My car fit this same profile.
That evening, as I was approaching the city limit – a smorgasbord of fast food options awaited across the city line – a police cruiser targeted me. Our cars sat side-by-side at a red light that also served as the city border. I knew that I was being looked at, but the cop had nothing. The light turned green, I crossed into the next city and yet, the police siren lit up, forcing me to pull over. I was livid. I knew the cop had nothing on me…and to pull me over in the next city!! How dare he!!!
I pulled into the nearby McDonald’s parking lot and rather than ‘play nice’ and wait for the officer to approach my window, with my full sense of entitlement in tact, I sprang from my car, walking directly at the cop and barked, “What did you pull me over for!!?” The cop passively pointed at the rear of my car and said, “Your tail light’s out.” At this point I bit my tongue and played along. Within a couple of minutes he had checked my papers, etc. The officer then drove away without issuing a warning or a ticket. However before leaving, he twice asked me, “Why are you wearing a hair net?”
Anyhow, if the cop had known that I was white, there’s no way I would’ve been pulled over in this fashion. And if I had been black, there’s no way I could’ve behaved this aggressively without repercussions.
I experienced “white privilege” in the following way: My family moved to suburban Detroit, into a lily-white, middle class city, from Toronto. I was too young to remember living in Canada. What I do recall was seamlessly entering and living in a white world. The culture was mine, the world was mine and I didn’t question that.
Only after I got older and gained more perspective did I come to realize how strange this circumstance is. My family left one country, “Canada” for another country, the “U.S.” However, “white culture”, knows no borders. The transition was easy and the world was always ours.
Meanwhile, only miles away, Detroit was inhabited by some of the oldest families in America. Families who had lived in the U.S. for countless generations, and these people couldn’t easily enter this same world that I could walk through from Day One. It’s very twisted that some of our oldest families who have suffered the most – carried the cross – are still seeking respect.
Thank you Lori for taking the time to write and share this. I know it took a lot more than time and understanding and instructional writing.
I have never more fully understood this difficulty until now. I was taught all my life that every person is important, gifted, to be respected, etc. no matter what race, nationality, sex or anything else, however, I can see by what you have said why some of my black friends have responded in ways that puzzled me before. I am so very thankful that you took the time to help enlighten me. I will try to walk in a more understanding manner now. Bless you!
Thank you for this. It’s a challenging read for someone who’s attitudes greatly mirror those of those in the prompt. Challenging in the way of all great writing — a challenge to have “a sense of the other” and a challenge to think about the impact of our different experiences.
I know I still only see “through a glass darkly” but this is the most effective writing on the subject I’ve read. Instead of being left with a sense that I should loathe and abase myself, you leave me with a simple ask of understanding, decency, humility, and empathy. This is something I owe every human, and you’ve helped me to know how to honor that obligation better.
Thank you.
Lori thank you! Your response is truly inspiring. I’ve shared on my page and I hope all my friends black and white get to read and understand what white privilege means! You nailed
Thanks for publishing this – super helpful explanation of white privilege. I also went to Harvard (’90), and lived in Dunster. I was social studies and took some African American studies classes (minored in women’s studies). Also did a lot of work at PBH and had friends who were African American, Latino, etc. who experienced many similar things as what you describe here, including being stopped and asked for ID while walking on campus (as a white woman I never had those issues). Now I do community leadership and nonprofit work and am still trying to work on this, including getting more in touch with my own privilege. Thank you for having the strength to share these difficult memories and taking the time to educate people who haven’t had to walk in your shoes.
Ty so much Heather for writing in and sharing your experiences & for the work that you do – it means everything!
Thank you for writing and posting this. I’ve shared your editorial on FB and hope everyone (well at least everyone I know) reads it. Such an educating and enlightening article. I can’t imagine how difficult that was to write but thank you so much for doing that.
Thank you. Your article has helped educate this white-privileged woman. I treat people with respect and will now begin speaking up when I encounter racism. It is challenging not knowing what I don’t know. It is more challenging living the life you described. Thank you.
A few thoughts on this article:
2) “If it’s unclear in any way, the point here is if you’ve never had a defining moment in your childhood or your life, where you realize your skin color alone makes other people hate you, you have white privilege.”
If your are black and you haven’t had one of these incidents, is that the result of privilege? What about if a white person was hated at a moment in their childhood for his/her race by a black person (or someone of another race)? Is that white child no longer privileged? Since it is more likely that a black child will be around other blacks if he/she grows up in a poor/urban area, then by not being privileged they are less likely to encounter those of other races. So it is actually through increases in wealth that blacks are more likely to encounter more diversity and experience potentially unfortunate situations like this.
3) “The point here is if you’ve never been “the only one” of your race in a class, at a party, on a job, and so on, and/or it’s been pointed out in a “playful” fashion by the authority figure in said situation – you have white privilege.”
There are situations in which whites may be an extreme minority within a classroom or social situation. If this is called out by the authority figure, then is the white person not privileged anymore? What about all of the times this author was in a class of all whites (or another similar situation) and nothing was made of this instance? Was the author “privileged” in every one of these occurrences? So apparently one instance makes you inherently unprivileged and a lack of any instance means that you are. Sounds like a pretty immediate threshold.
4) “The point here is if you’ve never been on the receiving end of the assumption that when you’ve achieved something it’s only because it was taken away from a white person who “deserved it” – that is white privilege.”
This is more an issue with failed government policy than any type of privilege. It also makes the case that racial preferences should not exist because of the attitudes they foster (among other reasons). Whites are going to be aware of lower standards for other races if they exist and will be bitter toward those who they perceive as taking their opportunities even if they aren’t actually doing that. The blame here lies with government, not with those who react negatively to unfair policies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mf6H47hXa3U
5) “The point here is if no one has ever questioned your intellectual capabilities or attendance at an elite institution based solely on your skin color, that is white privilege.”
If black people were surprised by you going to Harvard, would that be a sign of white privilege as well? Certainly blacks would be aware of the relatively few black people attending Ivy League schools. Would it be “racist” if they were equally surprised?
6) “So if you have never experienced or considered how damaging it is/was/could be to grow up without myriad role models and images in school that reflect you in your required reading material or in the mainstream media – that is white privilege.”
Interesting that the abundance of white literature and media doesn’t seem to be hurting Asians too much in America. Asians actually often outperform whites in areas such as income, college admissions and getting approved for loans. This is despite relatively little influence in media and politics.
Also, I wonder if it would be legitimate for a university to assign Strom Thurmond’s as an author (no, I’m not sure what he actually wrote). But since both Thurmond and X strongly resisted desegregation, it would seem that it would be just as legitimate to assign the reading of a segregationist like Thurmond as it would be to assign Malcolm X since neither wanted to live among those who didn’t look like they did.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auQJMLWx6og
7) “The point here is, if you’ve never been caught off guard when you are just trying to enjoy a meal by a well-paid faculty member’s patronizing and racist assumptions about how grateful black people must feel to be in their presence – you have white privilege.”
Of course, there is no way to tell if this “Master” would have said the same thing if those running the serving line were poor whites. This would be like trying to prove a negative.
8) “But the point here is, if you’ve never been on the receiving end of a boss’ prejudiced, uninformed “how dare she question my ideas” badmouthing based on solely on his ego and your race, you have white privilege.”
Ok, but I have to think that this guy’s ego got in the way when dealing with people of other races too.
10) “The point here is – not having to rewrite stories, headlines, or swap photos while being trolled by racists when all you’re trying to do on a daily basis is promote positivity and share stories of hope and achievement and justice – that is white privilege.”
The news media in general is pretty negative. I’m sure you already know this.
What your question seeks to do is replace life experience of a person in a minority group, with an isolated experience by a person in a dominant group. Although they may occur, they are not the norm. Privilege is not something that shifts from room to room and person to person. A Black person is not privileged in the ways a white person is privileged. White people have an easier time in general and society-wide than do people of color. This doesn’t mean white people don’t have struggles or aren’t ever poor – it simply means that the societal structures are such that even when an incident like you described – where there is a majority of black people in a room with a white person – the white person is in a rare situation. The best example I can give you about the “norm” that is privilege – is the color flesh in crayola crayons up until 1967. No white child had to ask why there wasn’t a color for their flesh – because everything is made in the assumption of, and for the consumption by, white people. If I asked you to comment on your white experience – you , like me, would have to search first for what that meant. because we are not white people in our minds unless race is the topic. We’re just people. We don’t have to prepare ourselves as white people to go on a job interview. We don’t have to naturally worry about accidentally appearing as a negative stereotype – we just go to the job interview. We have no hurdle to overcome in the same way.
“it simply means that the societal structures are such that even when an incident like you described – where there is a majority of black people in a room with a white person – the white person is in a rare situation.”
How do you know that? Why is this situation automatically “rare?” If the biggest problem we have as a society racially is that flesh colored crayons exist (I’m not claiming that this is the biggest problem), than I think we are doing pretty well.
Matt D, the flesh colored crayon is an example of of the intricacy of privilege – not the extent of it. How do I know the white person as a minority in a group of Black people is rare? Well, how often does it happen to you? Since Black Americans represent only 13% of the population, it was an assumption on my part that in your daily life experience there were more people like you than not like you with regard to race – day in and day out. Since that apparently is not your experience and you are in the minority most everywhere outside your home – at work – the store – etc … my mistake. Since that is your experience, I trust you have developed empathy for others that face the difficulty of your trials. You are one of the few white people who has a shared experience of disenfranchisement, discrimination and exclusion.
>You are one of the few white people who has a shared experience of disenfranchisement, discrimination and exclusion.<
Intersectionality! Queer, physically disabled, fat, autistic, mentally ill, rape and abuse survivors, poor white people have shared that experience. There are far more of us than you think. Because we have been oppressed too, I think we should have solidarity with each other. I realize that every problem a white person has, a person of color can have as well, only with added racism. That added racism can get you killed.
A white person may suffer, but unlike others, they won’t suffer because they are white.
Before you lend too much credence to the rants on the above video – watch this. Consider the implications of what was directed at black people – and why it still informs their current experience in ways it does not white indentured servants and “slaves” for following generations.
https://youtu.be/kqeQrPZY59E
A big part of this guy’s assessment of history is complete garbage. The programs of the New Deal did not in any way pull the country out of the Great Depression but did an excellent job making the depression even worse since it took until after WWII (no, the war didn’t get us out either) in order to fully recover from this. What really created the middle class was investing in better means of production so that we could mass produce cheap products and be worth more as workers. It had absolutely nothing to do with government programs (or labor unions).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6YMbC9TPGk
The video also doesn’t mention how minimum wage laws have had an absolutely devastating effect on the black community. In 1930, the unemployment rate for blacks was lower than it was for whites despite much more open racism and discrimination. This was the last time in American history that this would be the case. So, what happened in 1931? Why the very first federal minimum wage law of course. If you make it illegal for someone to sell their labor for less than a fixed amount, that will more negatively affect the poor and the uneducated in society. These have traditionally been people of color in America. Many times the white, racist unions support raising the minimum wage in order to keep black labor out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8uz3uafMe0
I’m stalled when I read ideas so carefully and strenuously crafted as Mr. ClearThinker’s. Let’s set aside for a moment the foundation and backdrop of being Black in America – but know what we’re setting aside in order to do so. Set aside the reality that the conditions just two generations ago that extended the possibility to enter a class called “middle” was denied almost all Black Americans – GI Bill home purchases where a banking industry invested in selling mortgages in redlined neighborhoods – unwilling to risk collateralized loans in anything other than redlined neighborhoods – denied loans, therefore homes in appreciable real estate properties. First, risk management wasn’t the only or primary reason – racism was. The mutuality of white dominance and social exclusion of people of color was. But since that is arguable to a mind predisposed to denial such as Mr. ClearThinker – let’s just settle on the proven alone. The net result of this was a profoundly negative impact on people of color for wealth accumulation – and intergenerational transfer of wealth – the primary ladder into and and upward rising from – the middle class.
The next was Social Security. FDR had a problem on his hands. How does he sell the idea of what was then called Social Insurance – Social Security and Unemployment Insurance as we call them today. His problem was selling these ideas to the public to include all people. It could not classify a white person unemployed and a black person unemployed as in equal form, and sell it to the public. Google it if you need further proof – it is easy and claims and explanations abound – from the period. The racist period. Thus, the exclusions were; Agricultural workers, Domestics workers – which were filled in the high nineties percentile by people of color. The amount of homes and stability of communities under economic pressure for the following many years – preserved wealth development among white people – compounded failure of black family wealth development for those who did somehow get over the previous banking hurdles. No wealth to pass down.
These are the se- asides that represent the origins of privilege in post slavery days. As the esteemed author spoke of in her experience – this is not nearly the entire list – nor the most egregious. These are the easiest to verify and had an affect on entire populations rather than individual hurdles and roadblocks.
The things we see today as white privilege are much more subtle. The overt racism which is seldom articulated in polite company or public forums such as these – are expressed in other ways. One of the most offensive and insidious is gas-lighting. The attempt to convince a person that their real and legitimate experience is all in their minds. The offensive part is that intelligent, thoughtful and introspective people such as the author of this article are told it’s all in their head – in disconnected arrogant tones of condescension that would only be useful if projectile vomiting were an olympic sport. This generous explanation for the benefit of others is handed back as though she can’t tell the difference between a one-time possible slip of the tongue and the repeat and pervasive multiple-exposure social interactions that transact in everything from an elementary school classroom insult, to a Harvard educated woman’s first week on the job male-ego-driven racial assignment of degradation. That is the offensive part. I’m a white male and I’m offended. That ought to scale it for you.
The insidious part is the racism-stimulating, denial-promoting, problem-compounding impact this type of message makes to people who might otherwise give a moment of thought to what’s presented here. People whom instead will align with the well organized words elegantly postulated in a manner seemingly worthy to be adopted as insightful and sage considerations, rather than the ignorant and dismissive self-deluding and racist rants of a man educated beyond his intelligence who is devoid of empathy and self reflection. The problem with a response such as Mr. ClearThinker’s is the careful line-by-line, tit-for-tat nullification of experience – in a self-elevating – self aggrandizing “look how a Clear thinker sees things – is enormous. Since we can’t possibly fully delineate all of the problems, the top two are the amount of time to reject the premise and details of the article – and the structure to deflect every point. The name ClearThinker, notwithstanding – the work no doubt of weak charactered, narcissistic – racist provocateur
I think Ms. Hutcherson’s dignity stands alone, and she does not need me defending her. My opinions do not attempt to do that. My purpose in writing this is simply to stand with the truth – as much as I am capable – any time ignorance and racist-promoting ideas are demonstrated or articulated in places they should be condemned. I find Mr. ClearThinker’s words more offensive than I would something shouted from the studio audience of a Jerry Springer episode. Those don’t attempt to be something they are not.
This is the best discussion or description of white privilege I’ve read yet – I have struggled to understand it in the past as its often thrown around as a weapon rather than a reality check. I have recounted to my kids about one story of having to witness passive prejudice of being Jewish, in a playful manner and completely clueless but it really wasn’t appropriate or even apparent to the speaker how hurtful it really was. In Charlotte at a bar that had a shoot baskets for charity I had already taken 10 shots with no real chance of hitting them and I jokingly said I “wasn’t going to give them any more of my money because I suck” – and one of the people with me (who didn’t know me well said) “what, are you jewish” – to which I replied with a glare, yes I am – he turned whiter than he was. My last name is Greek, not apparently Jewish.
All you have to look at is the many Jewish actors who changed their Jewish names back in the 50s and 60s to understand white privilege. It’s easy to “pass” as a white, jewish person. If your skin is black or brown that’s just not possible. I’m so happy and proud that my three children live and love without prejudice, even if they benefit from privilege. Sure they have felt the sting of friends who are insensitive to African Americans without a black person in the room, even from people of color who say something about being Jewish not knowing they are. Its a lesson we all can learn. And, I can’t erase the “recordings” in my head from my elders and childhood friends that sometimes cause me to say stupid, insensitive things; but I’m happy that they haven’t influenced my children. I try to stay vigilant and correct myself when I make a fool of myself even if the people I’m hurting aren’t there at the time – and even if it means putting my job or friendship at risk, I say something. Passive racism is racism. So is passive sexism and stereotyping. It’s never okay to let it slide because there may be someone there in the room, a child or an ignorant adult that, even if its a little bit, puts that recording in their head.
[…] EDITORIAL: What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege […]
I have to admit, I had no idea what white privilege meant until I watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy where it was explained very well. It was a wake-up call. And I remember having Spanish and Black friends whom we called names (and they called us names), thinking we were being affectionate and, in our own innocence (in the 70s), not thinking anything about it. For that, I am very sorry. In our small town, we got along with people of all colors and religions, and so we, or at least I, never thought much about what happened after everyone left school and we all went to our respective homes. I held no animosity toward anyone of any color, thanks to my mother’s guidance.
I think that, for the majority of people who don’t understand the meaning of white privilege, they believe that it means someone of any race who has a very good job or other perceived financial advantage while they themselves are struggling to make ends meet even though they also work very hard but never seem to make it. How was their supposed “white privilege” helping them? I also thought that until I saw the Grey’s Anatomy episode.
I’m glad I read this blog. It really expounded on what I had already learned.
You all sound like you can only speak from a certain experience when we are all in transition. Lots of change is going on and needs to happen. Sure hope you all can keep an open mind and not just vent while you are maturing.
[…] who have a much more clear understanding of white privilege than I did. I read a very informative post by Lori Lakin Hutcherson about that, and along with some patient and sage advice from Tessa Gratton (@tessagratton) a switch […]
The shed promotes brand-new skin development, which changes the old, marked skin tissue and also gets rid of the scar or discolors.
Oooh, yes! Your article brought back the day I was forced to confront my white privilege. In the early 70s, I was a young, white professor at a historically black college in Mississippi. The faculty was deeply involved in confronting the racist evil that surrounded us. At such a meeting, I voiced my opinion. One of the black professors turned to me and said, “This is our fight. You make coffee.” While his response was excluding and sexist, I heard what he really meant. He was challenging my attitude of white privilege. His words changed my life.
Thank you Lori, for writing this. It explains the issue wonderfully and lays out specifics to illustrate the isue of having privilege… or not.
I call out the specifics because I’ve lived thru 7 or so of your criteria. While I’m white, and male, I’m also an intellectual, from the wrong side of the tracks, and appear crippled (“disabled ” in polite company). Privilege has been curtailed somewhat 🙂
I can’t fully understand what Blacks, older women, and especially Black women have gone through. .. but I can empathize and relate to some extent. Your tonnage vastly outweighs mine, but it’s just plain refreshing to read a rational discussion that doesn’t deny the struggle or tar everyone in a “privileged” group with the same brush.
Anyway, thanks for the great post. I bookmarked the website, but hope you won’t mind too much if I just read it as goodnews.com
I hope you don’t mind that I took the liberty of using your eloquent essay on white privilege in my ENG 101 class here in the San Luis Valley of rural Colorado as a prompt for a reflection paper. My mostly white students (think provincial potato farming and ranching families) got their eyes opened to something they had never before been asked to consider, and my Hispanic and Native American students (think descendants of Mexican immigrants and the original settlers of this valley) were grateful and vindicated to have the trees pointed out in the forest. Thank you for explaining white privilege in such a generous and compassionate way. I hope you write a book about this.
Kathy, thank you so much not only for using the essay with your students, but for taking the time to write in and share how it affected them. Knowing it’s had an impact on young people like that is an honor beyond words.
Sorry you can’t quite neutralize White Privilege yet.
Sorry but not yet.
God is not through with purging & cleansing American.
Just keep being patient – God is just helping America to get to the root of the problem, to clean (IT) out as must as possible before America destroys it’s self from within.
If you study Black American history, you will see where White Privilege came from and in so many ways, is still in the fabric of American Society.
That’s why you still hear all different types of non-whites complaining.
Dark skinned Americans (Blacks) tend to complain the most because they are usually treated the worst.
And because of Americas dark past, it has consciously & Sub-consciously caused too many white Americans to look down on Black People in America, still into present day – 2016.
Apart of the problem may be that there are still not enough good hearted White Americans in America.
But thank God for the White Americans that are Good Hearted & believe in living a life of fairness.
Please be patient and read below – And may the real truth set you free.
The problem is that no one should be treated as first & no one should be treated as last.
Real men do not need an edge over everyone else to succeed in life.
Here are some real truth and education about the human race: Dark skin people are the first people of the earth. The first of everything on the earth is always very potent, then after a period of time, things start to lose its potency.
The first things in creation are always rich in potency then eventually start to get weaker after a period of time. Once a people lose their coloring, they can’t get it back. (The potency to have color in the skin for protection from the heat of the sun).
A dark skin person can get lighter. (Which is why the earth has so called white people). But a light skin (so called white person) can’t become dark skinned again.
There are real cases where a dark skinned couple has produced a white baby. The baby was born with something missing (no coloring – no skin protection from the heat of the sun & no energy in the hair for the hair to have a curliness to it, so the hair would be straight instead of curly).
And there are cases where a white couple has produced a brown skinned baby because of the coloring gene in one or both of their family tree. (The baby was born with or grow up and eventually had a natural tan).
Study world history. The history that you didn’t learn in the American public school system. The real truth has been hidden from all of us, Black, White, etc.
For starters, Study the history of the Moors (Black Men), how they civilized Europe. At one time in Europe the Moors built castles and some were families that acquired Royalty. This happened from 711 to 1492 (781 years). For almost 8 centuries, and not too far from a 1000 years. That’s a very long period of time in world history.
Don’t be afraid of the real truth about how the first most intelligent and civilized people were a dark skinned people. The real truth sets people free. (All people on the earth came from the same first Father and Mother).
So now, what are the people of the earth? (We are just the human race). It’s time to take off the (race hang ups) like a filthy garment, and to put on a new clean garment that is love for the whole human race.
Just remember this, it’s naturally inside of all humans, that when someone treat another human being like they are better, that other human will get a bad taste in their mouth & spirit and secretly despise you. They might even secretly hate you. This is a human thing – Nothing to do with color. (Even some fat people will do this).
So, to have more peace within and love from other humans in your personal life, don’t treat or think that you are better than other people (humans).
It’s powerful to know that you are a real man, and not a fabricated (fake) one because of so called white privilege. (It’s weak to try to use the white thing to have an edge over everyone else). Some are still doing this.
A real man knows how to make it in life when the playing field is even. When he is on the same level or at the same starting line as everyone else and not have a head start in front of everyone else because he is this or that.
Now, what will you do my white brother when the playing field is really even? Get angry and want to kill or hurt someone? Maybe then some white American men will know what it’s like, and not think that something is wrong with black men, but instead help & work together with your black brother and not think that something is wrong him if he seems a little angry sometimes.
Hopefully the same type of rejection will help you to better understand what black men have been going through for far too long. Some white American men have already experienced not being hired because they are white. But if this happens or happened, let it make you a better and stronger person, like a lot of strong good hearted black men are.
Fairness in America is the answer for all Americans – not some (white) special privilege. I know for a fact that most white men are not needy. So why do America keep treating white men like they need a special privilege to make it in America ?
There is an illusion (a lie) in America that a lot of black men might be mentally handicap. But wait a minute… Maybe America has made most white men mentally handicap, by creating white privilege in the first place – Hmmm – A very interesting thought. How? Because some white men are having a problem with their white privilege slowly slipping away. Some are getting very angry. (That is the mental Handicap). A real man does not need an edge over other men to be successful.
So is the white man the real boy & not the black man? In which the black man was called a boy & treated like he was a boy for a long time in America. But wait a minute again. Maybe the joke is on the American white man. Hmmm… another interesting thought.
The powers that be has a way of playing all of us in some sinister way. Kind of sad and kind of funny at the same time.
When the common people of a nation learn to treat each other with respect, they take away the power of evil rulers that really are only using the common people for their own selfish gain.
A wise nation of people will not fight over the crumbs from the Kings table. But they will work together to create how they want paradise to be for each other in a good way that has the best results for all American citizens. Why, because the people are the back bone of a nation, not the leaders or those who are secretly trying to rule the world for their own selfish gain.
The key is to not follow any type of bad influence that will cause division amongst the American people. Think about it… The word RACE is starting to sound as bad as the N-word, or any other type of word that calls any type of people out of their real name, and not who they really are.
Folks, we are not in a RACE to see who can have or get the most things or the most wealth. The powers that be put that stupid idea out there, and fooled the American people into thinking that the different races of people who came to America are in a RACE to see who can become the most wealthy. Now you can see how the word RACE became a part of American Culture.
The word RACE is really not supposed to be related to people – crazy isn’t it. From the beginning of the Evolution of the American Industrial Revolution, the powers that be used the word Race as a scheme to get the American people to hustle for wealth as the bait to manipulate the American people into building their power and wealth off the backs of the American people.
Hence (America – The Money Making Machine) was created. (The triple MMM is still kicking us in our butts.) It’s time to WAKE up.
The America people are the enter workings of that money making machine, with racism, greed and selfishness as the driving force and fuel to keep the Money Making Machine running, by the powers that be. The Elites – The behind the scenes (the evil ghost) Hidden Secret World Government. (The HSWG).
This sinister scheme is what got the American people into fighting against each other for crumps from the Kings table. Also this is what caused the greed of some of the white settlers to become brutally racist. And this is what caused racism to stay in the fabric of American society since after African American Slavery, which was abolished in 1865, then on into present time modern day America.
If this wouldn’t have happened, it’s possible that America would be further ahead when it comes to race relations in America. (With more peace, love, and understand amongst the American people). Maybe even a practically racist free America. Oh what a dream to behold… When will America be able to finally exhale? Maybe never, some may say… But we will see.
We are supposed to be working together and helping each other as a nation, and not working against each other, Duh… That’s as stupid as stupid does. America, it’s time to stop working against each other & stressing each other out. The media is making money off of how we stress each other out as a nation of people. (The Elites again are sticking it to Americans in the butt).
Racism causes unnecessary stress for everyone, because there is always BACKLASH in some negative way, and no one needs that. Life is too short. Best to enjoy each other & the land of the free, and not fight over the crumbs. Paradise is not really about things. But Paradise is when people really respect & love each other. No one is going to remember what you had, but they will remember how you treated them with respect (love) and kindness. Simple but true.
Get and have your things, but don’t be selfish and try to stop other Americans from getting the same things. All Americans just want the freedom to create their own type of American Dream. (And of cause one that doesn’t harm or destroy other Americans). Why? Because we need each other’s strengths to keep our American freedom.
Those who are American citizens must work together to keep negative outside forces from taking it away. Indifference is a Mental bondage that makes a nation sick & weak – But the freedom to excel is a healthy, wealthy & wise America for all Americans. Our diversity made us the most powerful nation on the Planet. We can pat ourselves on the back & stop fighting against each other.
The different Cultures in American have some of the best of people from all over the world, and this is one of the things that made America so powerful & strong. Seeing things from different thought concepts, & brilliant input from different cultures is what helps us to be the smartest & most powerful nation on the Planet. No one culture of people in America can take all of the credit. Every culture of people in America played a big part in Americas Great development.
And guess what… God did that – God is in the mix – Don’t fool yourself and not believe that. Study world history in the Holy Bible (There are many stories in the Old Testament) & you will see that God Blessed a nation of people, then after a period of living in the blessing, the people eventually got too far away from God’s way of living life. Then when that Nation got too far away from God, that Nation fell into ruin, then they was destroyed from within or from an outside enemy or both.
They were destroyed when they stopped listening to God & did not learn how to work together then an enemy slipped upon them and overtook them. Believe it or not. History has patterns. It happens every time a nation stops listening to God.
Class: How to love people 101:
– Treat people with respect. Respect is a type of love (If they don’t do the same in return, walk away, don’t waste your time).
– Give People the benefit of the doubt. (People that are not good for you – is not a color. It’s about personality compatibility).
– Do not treat anyone like you are better than they are. (Thinking you are better is really just an illusion, you are not better).
– Help people in whatever way you can within reason. (Use wisdom in how you help people – be careful & be practical).
– Do not call people other than their name. (Use the name they tell you to call them, to not offend someone).
– Do not be a back stabber. (From the heart – really want the best for each other – It’s not smart to burn bridges).
– Do not hate people for no reason. (Best to keep a peaceful heart & work at not hating anyone, it’s not healthy)
There are so many more ways in how to love people – but you get the point.
The wisdom above in how to love people is A Godly wisdom – God is LOVE. God’s wisdom in how to love people is the best example. If you love other people – then you are saying that you love yourself. But self-hatred will cause a person to hate other people for no reason.
God’s Love has its place; But also be warned America, that God’s wrath also can come down on us, when we don’t treat each other right. When God Judges a nation, He judges justly – He always know what He is doing.
Reblogged this on 1st Class Document Services and commented:
Perspectives
to me. the essence of straight white privilege is choosing to vote away other people’s civil liberties while believing that they need to ‘understand’ you for doing it.
Reblogged this on My WordPress blog.
[…] A version of this post originally appeared on goodblacknews.org […]
[…] Image by: https://goodblacknews.org2016/07/14/editorial-what-i-said-when-my-white-friend-asked-for-my-black-o… […]
Hello thank you for writing this. I believe it may be fundamentally hard for a person to understand racism when they are experiencing the positive benefits of it. If one gets to go through their day with people smiling at them and treating them friendly because their skin happens to be an acceptable tone, or the teller at the corner store treats them with a little more respect because of their heritage, they may not even notice that they are experiencing racism. I grew up in Oakland as a person of mixed european and middle eastern heritage and am blessed and grateful to have extreme diversity in friendships and family. And I’m saying, it never feels good to be treated nicely when a friend I was with who had darker skin or different shaped eyes got hassled by the guy at the door or the bar or the counter. I find the hidden side of Racism to be selective-kindness. Thanks again for your work.
[…] serving all people as God’s image-bearers, to go unnoticed in our churches. In honor of RRS, here’s an eye-opening article chronicling Lori Lakin Hutcherson’s experiences growing up as a black middle-class […]
I have just read this essay, after a friend shared it on Facebook. I just to say thank you! I know this essay wasn’t easy to write, but it certainly was something I needed to read. I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve saved a personal copy in my file titled “life lessons” so I know where to find it when I need to re-read it.
Thank you so much for your response and it’s an honor to be saved and considered a “life lesson.”
[…] America and speak Spanish better than he. Finally, check out this article written just last year: https://goodblacknews.org2016/07/14/editorial-what-i-said-when-my-white-friend-asked-for-my-black-o…. None of this is right. None of this is […]
Sian Ferguson wrote “Privilege 101: A Quick and Dirty Guide” for those who want to learn about privilege but don’t know where to start. She references Peggy McIntosh’s “WHITE PRIVILEGE AND MALE PRIVILEGE: A Personal Account of Coming to See Correspondences Through Work in Women’s Studies (1988).”
The argument is that “You are not aware of your privilege. Privilege describes what everyone should experience. Sexism and racism means that no matter who you are, you had it easier than someone else because of your cohort. You might have had a hard life, may be disadvantaged, but there’s always others whom you must prioritize because their life was even harder. You can’t disagree anyway because you are blind to this; you must listen to those who know better. They will teach you to share your privilege by giving them financial and social priority over yourself. It is recommended that you don’t provoke the social shaming of being tagged as sexist and racist if you disagree.”
Thank you for a thoughtful essay. As a white mom of Asian girls, I also hear similarly biased comments to/about them and continue to be surprised by people I think wouldn’t say things like that. In other words, people like me. Because they wouldn’t say those things to me I guess is the point.
[…] the past year, we were greatly honored to not only have our Editorial “What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege” republished on The Huffington Post, On Being (we made their “Best of 2016” list), […]
[…] Here’s a post from 2016 by Lori Lakin on Good Black News: What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege […]
Reblogged this on Susan Irene Fox and commented:
Instead of my usual Sunday morning poem, I’m reblogging this post in an effort to build bridges and to honor God with edification and truth through His love. I pray you will take the time to read this in full and – rather than reacting – allow the words let you see another perspective through His eyes.
[…] most-read articles, an editorial by Lori Lakin Hutcherson, the editor-in-chief, titled “What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege.” I admired her patience and candor; sadly, the list she shared in the piece did not […]
I’m not certain where you’re getting your info, however
good topic. I needs to spend some time learning more
or understanding more. Thank you for great information I used to
be looking for this information for my mission.
Ms. Lakin Hutcherson, I am just reading some of these comments- a year out. Dear God, you must feel like you’re banging your head against a brick wall. Just know you efforts have made a difference. They are kind and still display some sort of faith in your fellow humans (despite the reality of dyed in the wool institutionalized racism very aptly on display here in the comments section) As a white person I am grateful for your tolerance.
[…] read this fabulous article yesterday, “What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege” where the author, Lori Lakin Hutcherson, showed me a life I didn’t understand […]
[…] and tax paying citizens are judged as more and less valuable on the sheer accident of our skin. Minorities with darker skin have to be more articulate, more intelligent, and display more patience …And so #BlackLivesMatter is a response to this injustice, and strives to close the gap that racial […]
[…] he was right; my journey to becoming more “woke” to my own white privilege began fairly recently. As a kid, every member of my middle school classes was white, and I heard a […]
[…] A version of this post originally appeared on goodblacknews.org […]
[…] A version of this post originally appeared on goodblacknews.org […]
this white guy very much appreciates your frank and thoughtful comments. it helps move things forward.
and more importantly helps move ME forward.
[…] A version of this post originally appeared on goodblacknews.org […]
White privilege is asking your black and friends of color to define it for you.
I love this. Thank you. It’s unfortunate you had to dig through your life in this way for your friend.
Thank you for this. I recently had a family member make a comment about “supremacists of all races”, echoing 45’s “all sides” comments. I’ve been mulling over how to respond, but I don’t have the words to explain the depths of how disturbing this is. Your insight will help me find my way through that conversation. I’m grateful for the gift your wisdom.
First, and most important, thank you, and the many who posted here, for your willingness to speak out about such painful things. I want to contribute to the discussion from the experience of what it is to begin to feel one’s white privilege in the bones and blood. I want to do that because part of that privilege is the responsibility to try to awaken others like me, awaken us into action – and part of that privilege is realizing that as a white person I can never know what it is to be a person of color in this culture.
To that end, I want to share two experiences in my life that helped me BEGIN to open my heart-eyes to white privilege. I should preface this by saying that I grew up in the United Nations community and have worked my whole life (teens on – over 50 years now) for racial justice. In many ways, those things, and the belief that I was in the trenches helping, made it harder to really begin to open to the reality that I carry white privilege, moment to moment, no matter what I do or feel.
Story #1. At the height of the school bullying time (Columbine etc.), my youngest son, white and then a teen, was the victim of some life-threatening bullying. It was devastating to us all. Totally devastating, and I was overwhelmed and shocked by my own inner violence and my desire to destroy the children who severely wounded him – destroy them with my own hands. A nightmare. AND I am a white American, I had a choice and I turned to family and friends to gather the $$ needed to move away to a safe place for his senior year.
I had the choice. That is the ultimate white privilege – I had the choice to move to protect my son. AND I – because I am white – assumed that choice as reality. At no point in the struggle did I doubt that I would find a way to get him to safety – that is white privilege and it is in my blood. For months, I thought about little else. I thought/felt what it would be to send my child to school or to play in places where he was in mortal danger all the time, emotional and physical, where there is no choice. That is unbearable, and all I could think about was the white privilege of having that CHOICE, and the nightmare of not having it.
Story #2. 14 years ago my first grandchild was born. Like all grandchildren, he stole my heart in an unimaginable way. And he is half African and fully African American. When I try to find words to describe what it is to have a grandchild who has to face the threats his skin color brings, all I can think of is what it is like to try to tell someone who has no children, what it is to be a parent – a different universe. I can only imagine that it is that much more of a different universe for my daughter, his mother. And exponentially more to carry that within the imposed limits of living in a dark skin oneself.
It is incredibly hard to be conscious of his safety (emotional and physical) in every new situation, and terrifying as he enters a time no different from when we lost Trayvon or Tamir or Jordan or the many others. It is a moment to moment effort, but here’s the thing, I – and his mother – face this terrifying challenge from the seat of white privilege. I can’t keep him safe and I have to face that, but I still hold the notion that I have choice: we choose his school to protect him, we choose where to live to protect him, we choose his activities to protect him, and we choose therapeutic support to protect him. All that is white privilege. We have CHOICE, and we believe in our bones, that we have power. That is white privilege.
I cannot imagine how I would survive this without that privilege. I am humbled to think of the millions of African American (and other people of color) who somehow face that every moment – and somehow within that manage to love, manage to put their hearts on the line without the power to protect. Honestly, I don’t think I could survive it. And that is white privilege.
I believe the biggest seat of white privilege lies in choice, moment to moment choice, and the belief that we have the power to navigate our lives as we choose (assumption of power). No, it is not fully true that we have power, but we hold it as reality and that IS white privilege. I encourage white people to spend a few days bringing their attention to how often they choose their course freely – from little things like where to eat and where to shop, to the big, like where to live and school their children, and whether or not they have “time” to act for racial justice. Feel the privilege – and then feel the responsibility it carries; the shame doesn’t help any of us, the responsibility for today does. We have to join together and change the nightmare – a nightmare we are all actively part of until we change it – a nightmare we are participating in inflicting on people of color just because we are white.
White responsibility: Choose an issue, one issue (police training, voter access for all, housing, health insurance, equal pay, equal opportunity, etc.) and get out there and do something. There are a lot of us, if we each do something, it will change.
Beth
Thank you, Beth, for sharing some of your personal story as well as your call to action.
Thank you. Powerful, gut-wrenchingly honest. I’ve saved the link to this article and am sharing with my kids. Thank you for your willingness to share your experience.
Thank you, thank you, thank you — and sending love and support across the sea. My college students in Asia will grow from studying your sublime response to this widespread ignorance.
Thank you for taking the time to write this. That is all.
Thank you, Lori, for taking the time to write this. I realize that it’s exhausting to always be explaining this to white people, and maybe another part of white privilege is expecting / asking people of color to explain what white privilege is. I’m grateful for your words, though.
I don’t think I ever had a clue about racis m or sexism until I was 16. Not because it happened to me, but because it happened to someone I love. I was 16 & I had fallen in love one summer. Her name was Nikki, & her sweet smile made me forget just about anything else. And her laugh made me laugh in a way I hadn’t been able to since my Dad had died earlier that year.
She had a “bitchin’ camaro”, & I would go anywhere she drove that monster. Our song was “No Ordinary Love”. Her Mom loved me, & dinners at their house were the greatest. My life finally felt like things were turning around.
A few months into my senior year, we started talking about getting married. So I took her home to where I lived with my Mom & 3 younger sisters.
No sooner did I say, “this is my girlfriend…”, that my Mom urgently hustled me inside & into the kitchen. She whispered the words, but they carried like a shout through the open kitchen windows to the porch…”Don’t bring HER home ever again, I don’t want your sisters thinking they can have colored friends.!” And of course, standing less than 10ft away, I saw the effect immediately.
I watched her heart break in seconds. I couldn’t run outside quick enough. I had never driven her car, but I drove her home. She said, “our children will never
see their grandma…” Somehow those words took away everything… I thought I felt the loss she felt, but I know now that I didn’t.
But I know I never wanted to see anyone, know anyone to be hurt like that again.
More assumptions based on pettiness than any proof of racial bias.
Everyone encounters things like those.
Not everyone brings their own scapegoat to every party.
Ms. Lakin, I have read many stories on racism but frankly never one so eloquently expressed. You have humanized a difficult issue to understand. I am a career law enforcement officer and I feel I have a better understanding of how any black person might feel during an interaction with police. Thank you for sharing and making me more aware and better equipped. You have my undying respect.
Mr. Joseph, thank you for reading and for sharing how my piece has helped you. You have my respect as well.
Lori Lakin Hutcherson says black people “are excluded from the privilege you have to not be judged, questioned or assaulted in any way because of your race.”
I think that means white people don’t have to see ourselves as being white. That is both a white privilege and a reason we might not realize we are privileged.
One way we can expose and understand how whites are racially privileged is to see ourselves as white. One way we can do that is by seeing how black people see us as white, see us being white.
I wrote an article about that called, “Fanon and DuBoisian Double Consciousness,” which is available for free download from this safe UC Berkeley website:
https://works.bepress.com/marcblack/
I imagine this conversation ended some time ago (I don’t usually see threads that would last as long as a year), and so I don’t know if you will even see my comments. But, as anyone who knows me will tell you, if I have an opinion or thought, I just HAVE to pipe up.
Above all, I would like to thank you for the kind, respectful and compassionate tone of your article. You have had to deal with people assuming that Affirmative Action GAVE you any success you had, but as a white male, and with a great many personal stressors in my life and resultingly a too-often thin skin, I often am afraid to read articles that address the continued ill-treatment of people in minorities, and particularly those which feature the dreaded words, “white privilege,” because they are so often accusatory in nature. You may not believe it, but many white people, when they hear those words, hear an implicit indictment – a claim that, being white, they have never worked for anything, that everything has been handed to them, in their privilege! This provides one of the many reasons (ignorance being another) that blue collar people are often the most vocal exponents of racism – because they struggle hard to live, and the words “white privilege” seem to suggest a message that they have it too easy! They resist that idea…naturally.
Some of the stories you share I can relate to on some level. I have lived with mistreatment at times for other reasons. Others I cannot.
The only issue in which I would disagree with you is semantic. The instances you propose as “white privilege,” I do not see as privilege at all. I see them, rather, as matters of common decency. It is not unfair that white people are treated this way, but rather it is unfair that so many women, people of darker skin or ethnic appearance, and others, are NOT treated this way. I am sorry that there have been people who saw your skin color as a reason to deprive you of common decency. I am sorry that so many people continue to have these attitudes. Many of them do so knowingly. I strongly suspect that many more – perhaps even I, in some instances – do so unknowingly. It will take a long time before the acceptance of people with different appearance is so ingrained in people that they will assume equality as the default response. It is not fair, but it is reality. For the sake of all of us, minority and majority, I hope it happens as fast as possible.
Well, if by some chance you actually happen across this and have the time and inclination to read it, I thank you for paying attention to my little ramble. God bless you, and what you are doing.
Jeff Campbell
Ty Mr. Campbell for taking the time to write in and share your thoughts on a difficult subject. Onward and upward!
White privilege is being treated with what should be common decency, yet that same decency is routinely denied for people of color. It is privilege because we didn’t earn it. We didn’t choose to be white so it isn’t blame or shame. When we white people ensure that people of all races are treated by us with common decency we can revisit the expression.
Ty so much, Holly
Looking at your pub date, I’m realizing how lucky I am to have stumbled across this article. It’s beautifully written and I’ve shared it to Facebook to spread it further.
When I found this article, it had been reposted on Facebook from onbeing.org. I’ll admit freely that I’m not even remotely familiar with their website, their content, or their goals, but I redirected to your site to both read and share the article specifically because you deserve the credit (in this case, views) for your work.
All too often, content creators/artists are asked to “share” their product with other sites who promise to credit the creator when they repost. With such a focus, socially, on supporting black business (I live in Portland, where we’re currently getting up for black business week, so it’s at the front of my mind right now), I initiated a Facebook conversation about this. You do this amazing thing, and while it’s true that I might not have been exposed to it without the intermediary of this other website, I think we (“we” being both consumers of digital content and creators and aggregate websites) need to start seriously reevaluating how content is shared/distributed so that we can be more mindful of where our consumed things come from. You deserve the recognition (again, views in this case) that your work garners.
thank you for coming to GBN’s page to share your thoughts, insight and support!
This is a response to the comments upon your post, not to the post nor to goodblacknews itself. My apologies if my comments only contribute to the appropriation of your intellectual space. (That’s not sarcasm.) It is discouraging to read the considered responses of literate white people motivated to deny the existence of the very white privilege your post attempts to explicate. But then I remember that (1) comments sections are not a good indication of broad public opinion, and that (2) white people do have legitimate concerns regarding our country’s changing demographics. It is up to us to offer a vision of a multicultural future that includes and celebrates white people. I know that sounds distasteful because it would seem they hardly need (even more) celebration. But the truth is we rise or fall together. Some (most?) white people will never ever comprehend the lived reality of white supremacy. This is frustrating, but if we let that failure become a permanent wedge, we may be doomed. There isn’t going to come a day when all American white people acknowledge and atone for the ongoing crimes against American POC. So maybe let’s try to advance a vision for the future that honors all Americans, that does not require unlikely feats of moral courage, and that addresses systemic inequality without implying blame or guilt. I don’t know if that’s even possible. But shaming white folks for their racial illiteracy and their incompetent social and historical analyses doesn’t seem to be working. It got us Trump.
I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR THIS EFFORT!
I am finding OFTEN when I try to ask questions of the experiences of (especially women, but sometimes POC as well) that I am told to shove off and don’t ask any questions because:
“Its not the job of (oppressed woman or POC) to educate you, YOU go out and DO THE WORK and DO THE READING WITHOUT US HAVING TO TAKE THE TIME TO EDUCATE YOU. ITS NOT OUR JOB.”
…
I certainly can agree with what I hear as an EXHAUSTION of being asked to explain over and over what seems obvi to the political minority member in that discussion area.
Unfortunately … whenever there’s someone claiming to have knowledge.
And another that is told they are ignorant
And the “enlightened” person wants the ignorant to change their behavior on knowledge the ignorant is told they don’t have …
Under those circumstances, if the enlightened won’t tell the ignorant the information:
FOUR (at least) things happen:
1) The ignorant generally remains ignorant
2) The ignorant may even feel angry because they’re told they’re evil monsters and given no information on how to change that
3) the ignorant may even then start to SELF IDENTIFY AS A MONSTER BUT WITH A SENSE OF PRIDE as a backlash against the anger thrown at them
4) THE BEHAVIOR DOES NOT CHANGE. (even if the asker *wanted* to change)
I don’t want to join the monsters because I see that only death and destruction comes from that.
This is NOT A BENEFIT TO ANY OF US FROM THE OPPRESSED MINORITY OR THE “PRIVILEGED” who often find themselves in a “scorched earth” kind of situation where nobody gets to eat (live) well!
EXAMPLE OF SCORCHED EARTH: The INSANE HEALTH CARE SITUATION !
We literally have people who voted for the 45th P.Resident because he said he’d get rid of “Obamacare” … ya, the FIRST reasonable attempt at a nationwide level to make sure EVERYONE got health care (including MILLIONS OF WHITE MEN!) that is erroneously named after the first black president! And then when these racist dufuses find out that “Obamacare” and the ACA is the SAME THING .. they’re SHOCKED. And yet they voted to LITERALLY CARVE OFF THEIR NOSE TO SPITE THEIR FACE because a black man managed to do what has not been accomplished by many DECADES of whites before him … and they’re so blinded by racism that they’ll carve off their nose with lack of healthcare to spite the face of politics of inclusion of everyone getting healthcare!
WE ARE LITERALLY KILLING OUR NATION JUST TO REPUDIATE A BLACK MAN’S HEALTH CARE ACHIEVEMENT! That is one of the best examples I can think of as to racism creating such a toxic stew that it destroys EVERYTHING it touches including those who “benefit” from the racism!
Put another way, if a male or white (or both) comes to ENOUGH realization that the TOXIC MASCULINITY AND WHITENESS IS KILLING EVERYTHING THEY LOVE (including themselves, their family, their planet, their culture) but they don’t understand well enough what to change …
Just telling them to “stop bothering us and juts go off and fix it without us having to be exhausted yet again explaining it yet again and again and again.” … doesn’t actually work. Unfortunately … for EVERYONE.
YES, I WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE AGAIN THAT IT IS EXHAUSTING!
And that its a basic problem of information … those who have it have to give it unless you want people to come to often different conclusion with different information.
You might not like that.
YES, I acknowledge it IS exhausting, and yet here is the golden opportunity to do something about it.
And so the question is:
OK, You’re EXHAUSTED explaining this over and over …
HOWABOUT A READING LIST?
I think THIS is a good start?
AND I’d LIKE TO KEEP GOING!
And … do you know of any like this that carry forward into the intersectionality of sexism? (briefly mentioned in the article) ??
SO AGAIN, THANKS FOR MAKING THE EFFORT! (because I acknowledge, it is exhausting).
Lori: Are you asking my daughter to think less of herself because she’s white?
No.
Lori, (if I may address you so) I deeply appreciate your article “What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege”. I would like to suggest that there’s a significant point being overlooked in the dialogue of what in the US is called “white privilege”.
While I do not think the concept and your examples are wrong, I want to ask you this: Could the same thing happen to anyone else who is a minority in a culture where the majority are different? Here are some possible examples:
An Asian person who finds him/her self in Nigeria?
A Caucasian in Peking or Seoul?
A Brazilian in Paris?
A person from S. Asia (India) in Glasgow?
I could go on, but my point is this. I consider the entire matter to be one not of race, but of culture. I offer the thought that much of what in N. America that is call “racist” is not about race at all, but rather about cultural differences. My wife is color blind when it comes to race, but she takes note in the grocery store aisle that Hispanic families are much louder and energetic than European heritage folks, and she finds this unpleasant. I contend it’s not about race, it’s about culture. Does this make sense or am I off beam?
I would v. much appreciate hearing from you on this, as I perceive you to be intelligent, well educated and balanced in thought and emotions.
Respectfully yours,
Bill Higbee
[…] positive things black people do. In this editorial she responds to a friend’s opinion on white privilege: Let’s use her insight to improve our own lives and help our friends understand, too. […]
Phenomenal, fabulous, confounding astounding. I feel privileged to have this window into your life experience. I now follow and read your blog everyday. It is some of the best education I receive. Keep going!
thank you for sharing. the process of understanding white privilege and working to overcome our subtle biases is a constant one, and i think it’s very important not to just have an “aha” moment and think you understand forever, but to continuously read about the experiences of black and brown people. i’m really glad i discovered this site. thanks for doing the work you do. 🙂
Thank you!
yes.
Thank you for sharing your truth openly and honestly. We all need to do more of this!
[…] article was originally published by Good Black News. It has been edited for YES! […]
Thank you for your answers. I know there is white privilege because I saw what happened to my black friends at USC versus what happened to me — one was constantly stopped and frisked as if he didn’t belong because he was HUGE and dark black on a bike… they assumed he stole that bike. He had to carry the damn receipt around. Gads. It opened my eyes, and perhaps my eyes could stay open about it because i was not raised in a racist home.
I do have a different view of the last paragraph of your piece. “Trust me, nobody is mad at you for being white. Nobody.” You are not mad at him for being white, but do not say that “nobody” is, because I have experienced hatred from black (and Native American) folks for no other reason that being white. And i don’t know what to do about it and so have given up.
My husband and I, in the course of our lives, have been interested in friendship with a few black folks due to our mutually shared interests. Not because they are black… but like any friendship, something sparked interest. Other than college, none have been welcome, and the rejection has been covered in vitriol most of the time. The last one made me say never again. I won’t even try. A man and my husband shared a great hour-long conversation over music when we first moved to Portland while sitting at a garage sale of a relative. M wanted to have coffee with him. We were moving, and M lost his email address (in a move for God’s sake!) When he found it he wrote to meet, excited to pick up the thread he had before, and told him he’d lost his email address in our move and just found it. He was blasted (i don’t remember all the the specifics), but trust me, the man was furious and hurt and accused M of deliberately doing this, having fun at his expense, snake in the grass, etc. My husband is a kind and insightful man, and was willing to take a couple rounds of explaining and the man’s anger (M saw it as hurt/disappointment) because he had so enjoyed the man. Then we both gave up because it was obvious that M was going to have to take every white person’s abuse who ever abused the black man on his shoulders.
I have no where to go with healing all this if the words said by us cannot be believed and the anger directed is edgy and threatening. I am willing to listen but not be abused. I do stand up for other’s rights and I also don’t see a way out unless it is in the younger generations because I’ve been on the receiving end of having to be the scapegoat of hatred directed AT me when in fact I had none of that going on. NOT saying I understand everything, any more than a man can understand what a woman goes through (my husband is continually amazed and told me one day he didn’t think he’d leave the house without packing heat if he were a woman.) We have to be able to hear the other PERSON and listen to their stories, and now I feel a bit like a dog who knows that I will be beaten for bothering and so I don’t bother to try to make friends in those situations where it comes up. Other than college, I’ve not had any successful black encounters of the friendship kind. I’ve tired to discuss this in a couple of forums to no avail, because I do care and it bothers me.
Just read this and it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing this with us and thank you for your good works. xoxo
Dear Lori, Thank you for sharing your very personal and detailed explanation of what “white privilege” means. I have seen many examples in my lifetime that of course, were not done by me but made me grow up a little more each time I saw it happen to others, some personal friends and others complete strangers who were suffering through the 60’s with me for completely different reasons.
First let me tell you a little about myself. I was raised in a small town in Ohio where I never saw black people except the entertainers and comedians I saw on tv. And I didn’t start hearing stories about their experiences with white privilege until after I graduated from High School in 1966. I was then both ashamed and angry that people were treating other people like that—with so much flagrant hatred and disregard. But I couldn’t say I didn’t know it because it was on the nightly news almost every night. I could not believe that these things were happening here but I came to accept it was true because not only did I see it on the news but I saw it happen to friends that I met at school and at work. However, being brought up in a small farming community in Ohio kept me from seeing black people (in person) until I was 12….yes, that’s right. My mother took me shopping for school clothes (she made most of my clothes except for sweaters and shoes) in a large city about an hour from my home. And I couldn’t miss them. They were everywhere and I suddenly realized that I was living in some kind of white cocoon! Once I left home, the cocoon disappeared. I had friends of all colors and then the pain deepened as I saw what they had to deal with on a daily basis. White privilege is never having to suffer at the hands of anyone what people of color suffer every day of their lives. I remember when they found Bill Cosby’s son dead on the side of the road next to his car….I was sure he was killed by police who later lied about what happened to his family—why should he be spared. No proof necessary because it has happened to too many sons and daughters at the hands of the authorities. Next year I will be 70. I thought by the time I reached this age, All would be somewhat resolved….I expected the Civil Rights Act and the Voting Rights Act would transform our country when instead it seemed to set off new struggles that made the old ones seem easy to overcome, I actually heard people like the Rev. Martin Luther King and others speak with hope that was dashed when he and the others were assassinated. I still have hope but now I’m sure I will not live to see the struggle to love and live together as one family to completion. I have a dream that my sons and their sons will live to see that dream to fruition. We have all lived lives with friends who were friends “not based on the color of their skin but on the content of their character.” We have to learn the importance of loving each other as family…then there will be no more “white privilege” Again thank you for sharing your experience, I’m going to try to share it with as many people as it know!
My god. The unmitigated gall and “privilege” of this author, Lori Lakin Hutcherson, Editor-in-Chief of goodblacknews, lamenting comparatively benign experiences, by anyone’s standard.
If all of this were written simply as “This is my lived experience as a person on this planet”, and not “My pain is bigger than your pain” I might have an easier time relating to it, and feeling empathy (rather than rage). But the way every mundane life event is elevated to the level of High Drama because it happened to a POC, makes it read like self indulgent tripe.
From the looks of it, Lori appears to be in her 40’s. I’m a 50 year old gay white male, so we’ve come of age during roughly the same period. Let’s do a little comparison to see who really has the privilege here.
Lori had boys throwing rocks into her swimming pool (SHE HAD A SWIMMING POOL?!?!?).
I was constantly chased and attacked by my neighbors. When I was 6 years old. I even had my next door neighbor, slam me in the head with a plastic baseball bat, and had to be rushed to the emergency room, My white privilege must have failed me that day. When I was 8, I was attacked by 3 boys on the playground at school, because I was gay. One of them was literally choking me to death, so i bit his arm to break free from him. They got exactly no punishment, while I was paddled so severely, that I was unable to speak from the trauma, and sent home — not because I was bleeding through my underpants, but because I lost control of my bladder and peed all over myself and the Principal. I WIN!
Someone called Lori’s sister the N-word. yeah…wow…that’s rough.
I was first called ‘FAGGOT’ hours after the bell rang on my first day First Grade, and several times a week, thereafter, for the next 12 years. A few years later, I walked into a full classroom at the beginning of the school year with my class assignment in hand, and had someone yell out “DON’T SIT THAT FAGGOT NEXT TO ME” as the entire class roared in laughter. And it wasn’t just fellow students. It was family members (including my mother and father), neighbors, and teachers. And unlike Lori’s experience, it wasn’t said one time, in a failed attempt at humor. It was yelled from across a softball field, by a rage-o-holic PE teacher, or mumbled by a frustrated Math teacher, and a (female) social studies teacher, and an Art teacher who would actually discuss my being gay with the whole class, even though I didn’t ‘come out’ until about 7 years later. My white privilege didn’t spare me any of that. LOOKS LIKE I WIN AGAIN!!!
Lori relates the story of how her now husband, on their first date, kept a stuffed animal in the rear window of his LUXURY VEHICLE to signal to police he was a ‘family man’. When I was 21 years old and working in a restaurant (I think Lori was going to Harvard when she was 21…white privilege strikes again!). Anywho, the policemen who frequented the restaurant I worked at, had seen my car in a ‘gay cruising area’ and came in to tell my employer about it, hoping to have me fired. And about 25 years ago, i was driving with my friend and when I saw the flashing lights of a police car in my rear-view mirror, i seized with fear. The police cruiser sped past me. I asked my friend ‘why should I be scared of the police if I haven’t done anything wrong?” and she said “That happens to EVERYBODY when they see a police car. It certainly happens to me” btw: I was driving a 1985 Nissan Sentra. but I’M the one with ‘privilege’? I’M GONNA SAY I WIN THIS ROUND TOO! WOO HOO!!!
As for Lori’s experience with white people ‘questioning’ her admission-worthiness to Harvard: it smacks of humble-bragging to me. I once had a date with a young man, who had also attended Harvard ( and who also happened to be black…whadayaknow). During our 90 minute dinner date, he must have said half a dozen times “I graduated from Harvard. How many people can say they graduated from HARVARD?” I said “I don’t know, but let’s find out, so you can stop talking about it” Even though he was far more financially ‘privileged’ than I was, I made sure to pick up the check, so I wouldn’t be indebted to him and have to see him again.
Lori laments a lack of Black role models and positive representations in entertainment and media. Is she kidding? The list is almost endless of brilliant, talented, highly accomplished, highly visible Black women (and men). However, while there was a seemingly endless supply of black role models and positive representations of black people on television, in the late 60’s and 70’s, when I was growing up, there were exactly ZERO GAY ROLE MODELS, OR POSITIVE REPRESENTATIONS OF GAY MEN ANYWHERE. Every TV show and movie that had a homosexual in the story-line, portrayed gay men as mentally ill perverts, who were destined to live tragic, solitary lives, which were usually resolved with suicide or murder. …I know I might seem impartial, but I’m gonna call this round for me too!!! I just keep winning. Whodathunk that a lifetime of emotionally scarring trauma would be so beneficial.
And before someone dredges up that old chestnut that “you can hide your homosexuality when you want to, but black people can’t hide the color of their skin” Yes…yes…that’s true. But that little trick really only comes in handy when you’re worried that the approaching group of teenage boys is going to bash your skull in, if they think you’re gay. Otherwise, people usually ‘know’. And when they don’t know, you have the pleasure of hearing what they REALLY think about ‘faggots’, which is almost as bad as having them pretend to accept you.
So while it may not have been a cake walk growing up Black in America, it is much harder — WAAAAAAY HARDER — growing up gay. At least Black people have the support of family, friends, and belonging to a much larger community. You were all in it together. But if you were young and gay, you went through that shit A.L.O.N.E. When I was a boy, there was literally NO ONE I could turn to for support and acceptance. And Black parents don’t reject their black child for being black. Not so for gay teens who are STILL TODAY often disowned by their parents and thrown out onto the street, simply for being who they are.
Now I don’t often trot out my war wounds, but when i do, I don’t punctuate each and every trauma with “YOU can’t know what I’VE suffered because of YOUR privilege”, as Lori has done here. Because to do so alienates the reader or listener, and puts them on the defensive, just as I have been put on the defensive reading what Lori has written here. I read her words and am so deeply offended, because what I see is “your pain isn’t as valid as mine because you’re white”.
Apparently, if you are white and born with no arms or legs, you’re still better off than Lori, who’s black and had a hang-nail in 1987.
If anyone is privileged, it’s Lori Lakin Hutcherson, being raised in a middle class family with a father and a swimming pool (I didn’t have either of those things), attending Harvard, marrying her luxury car driving husband, and raising their children in their decidedly upper-middle class existence. But all of that is not enough for Lori, who wants not only your admiration and your envy, but also your pity…and your guilt. If it weren’t so tragic, it would be comic.
I don’t know exactly how we’ve gotten so far from MLK’s dream of judging people by the content of their character, to caring ONLY about the color of one’s skin. But clearly, skin color does not determine one’s experience of life. Character does.
It’s not WHAT we are coping with but HOW we are coping with it, that makes us who we are.
We are all of us, first and foremost, INDIVIDUALS. It’s not the racial or religious groups, to which we just happen to belong, but the unique qualities of our individual hearts and minds which will largely determine our character, and the way we process the events of our lives. And ultimately, all any of us can really KNOW is our own, personal, experience in this thing called ‘life’. To understand the lived experience of another requires empathy. And when you finish your story with “you can’t know what I’ve gone through, because you’re white”, empathy dies.
But to answer the question, Lori posed in her original post, on goodblacknews “GOT PRIVILEGE?”: speaking as an individual, and not a demographic, my answer is: No. No I don’t. But Lori sure does.
and just to put a really fine point on this: were it not for the bold face type portions of this article, which ask “If you’ve never….then you have white privilege”, I would have no issue with any of this. But for those sections, Lori “reads” like a genuinely lovely, thoughtful, sincere, and caring individual.
So why isn’t THAT enough? Why, I wonder, would she rather be WHAT she is, instead of WHO she is? Sadly, that Ivy League education didn’t teach her to think independently enough to not fall prey to ‘group think’ and perpetuating this ubiquitous narrative of “white privilege”, which does nothing but divide us further as a society.
Thank you Holly Hardwood. You are a wealth of information. You’re a “virtual sherpa” as it were.
Oh. yeah, btw, I almost forgot to ask you: Your initial response mentioned something about White male privilege taking up space on a ‘Black’ website (if you’d like, I’ll toss you a few bucks to buy the 64 color box of Crayola Crayons, so you can expand your repertoire…but I digress). Anywho, what exactly is a ‘Black website’? Would you be suggesting that THIS is a ‘Black website’, meaning it’s only welcome to black people? No Whites need apply? Sound familiar?
“Cuz it’s all just a little bit of history repeating…”
ESL speakers often misspell my last name. The last time someone did it deliberately was elementary school. I’ll leave you in your little troll schoolyard now.
No Holly Driftwood, I didn’t misspell your name 🙂
I noticed you dodged my question though. It must be difficult for you when that mirror is held up and you see your own hypocrisy leering back at you.
White male privilege: taking up enormous amounts of space on a Black website to explain that you don’t have white privilege. Mark, take everything you’ve been through, and add being discriminated against for being Black on top of it.
Nice, Mark. You accuse Ms Hutcherson of playing “my pain is bigger than your pain” and then proceed to play “my pain is *much* bigger than your pain”. It’s not actually a competition, though you certainly seem to think so, despite your protestations. Look up the word “intersectionality”.
I wish I could. But I don’t have a computer.
I wonder how you are posting without a computer? Anyway, America is full of libraries. You can call the reference librarian and get a list of books and articles on any subject, or just have the librarian look it up for you, like reporters do.
OMG thank you sooooo much Holly Hardwood, that is like sooooo helpful. Can you help me find a library too?
The library is that government building you avoid. It also has literacy classes and GED classes. It’s never too late to learn.
Dear Lori,
Thank you for reliving your painful memories and vulnerably opening yourself up so that those of us who have never experienced them can better understand. May there be true and lasting healing of the racial divisions in our country, and may your words be a catalyst for healing.
Ms. Hutcherson: This was a really interesting narrative and it got me really thinking about this issue. I, unlike your high school friend, am not “blissfully ignorant” of the issue of racism and the idea of white privilege. But what I am confused about is how an assumption can be made about me because I just happen to be white. I am colorblind, both literally and figuratively, not that I don’t see differences in people’s race, sex, personality, level of education, etc. The fact of the matter, it is human nature to see the world in terms of “me” and “different from me.” So even the term White Privilege is on its face a potentially racist term because it groups an ethnicity into a set of assumptions.
So the question, Ms. Hutcherson, is if it is possible that some of the “differences” you have experienced are the same that have been experienced by others, irrespective of race. People move in new neighborhoods all the time and are initially shunned. I was treated as an outsider & excluded because I was a “Yankee” in a southern town. Aren’t children called stupid and unathletic, a “fag” or a sissy because they didn’t want to play football. Aren’t school administrators amazed when a student, especially ones they didn’t expect, actually get accepted to college? Is it possible that when your boss said you were arrogant that you actually were? I was called that once and my assumption was not that it was because I was white, it was because I actually was arrogant.
The reality is that these things happen in everyone’s life. Do they happen more to some people? Sure. The notion that I somehow got a free pass for being white ignores my own struggles. In this world the strongest, the smartest, and the ones with the greatest drive rise to the top. And others fail or struggle. As someone who has never once judged a person by their color, gender or difference from me, the question is this for each person, regardless of where they came from: Are you one that has the strength, intelligence, character, and resilience to rise above any adversity, any prejudice? Or are you one to blame real or perceived inequities on some sort of…I don’t know how to say it…maybe lack of achievement or respect?
So what might be perceived as cluelessness of white privilege (an oversimplification of an incorrect assumption) might be better characterized as confusion. I didn’t do anything to create this situation, I don’t participate in it nor condone it. So am I required to fix it?
J. Johnson
[…] First-world privilege. […]
Thanks for sharing, I learned something today. Even as a 1st generation Chinese American growing up in a major city, I did not appreciate the subtle challenges faced by black and brown minorities.
Thank you so much for your enlightening response… I am trying to become more active in raising awareness in myself and others on issues like white privilege. This is truly helpful, and I deeply appreciate you relating some of your experiences to help others understand. Thank you so very much!
Thank you for sharing this. Thank you for your courage, patience and grace. Sorry that you and so many others have to endure these things.
Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to help us understand. I too have wondered where the resignation and the anger have come from and how to be a friend instead of an enemy. Your post helped me to understand just a little. I have wondered how to bridge the gap that separates us, how to be know how to NOT be part of the problem. I like people. I enjoy getting to know them and marvel at their accomplishments and how they have gotten through hardships. But I find myself hesitating to be open and honest with feelings at times with a person of color–because I am afraid of being unintentionally offensive.
I enjoyed your article, and deplore the cruel and/or unthinking situations you describe. If I were to criticize at all, it would be your characterization of these unconscionable situations as “White Privilege.” I am a WASP of Scottish ancestry, born and partly raised in Kalimantan, Borneo when it was under the Dutch. I did not know another white person other than the armed soldier on the street to whom one did not speak. I learned to speak Dayak, but not Dutch.
Even though US citizens, we were given access to the Dutch commissary, and our house received extra nighttime protection purely based on the color of our skin. That was white privilege.
I also had a Venezuelan driver run a stop sign and T-bone me in Panamá. The investigating officer made his determination as to fault based on who offered the better bribe. All three of us were white, more or less. There was no privilege involved, only corruption.
Webster defines privilege as,
:a right or immunity granted as a peculiar benefit, advantage, or favor :prerogative; especially
:such a right or immunity attached specifically to a position or an office
White Privilege is, in my seldom humble opinion a counterattack term, meant to fight back at the undeniable disadvantage many people of color suffer in the US and elsewhere. All the poignant stories you list in the article are examples of boorish behavior on the part of someone, not on any genetic or generic “White Privilege.” I submit that the world is filled with people blessed with a room-temperature I.Q., whose parents were never married, and who bathe too seldom. These people are apt to treat others not like themselves with contempt. To tar all Anglo-Saxon people (even that term is inaccurate) with the same brush is beneath a person of your talent and education.
As white people in America, we have white privilege whether we want it or not. I am disabled, low income, LGBT+, and female, but I have skin privilege at least. I don’t worry about my sons being murdered by the police. I have never been discriminated against because of my race. I don’t feel guilty for having white privilege th
rough an accident of birth, but I am horrified that it exists. White privilege is actually the way everyone should be treated, but so far only white people can depend upon it. While the expression may be new to you, it has been around for a long, long time. Instead of arguing semantics, let’s dismantle it!
As a white person who really wants to understand what all of this reasonably new talk about “white privilege” is all about, I read your commentary with interest. Don’t get me wrong, now. I certainly understand that life isn’t really “fair” in the sense that all people have the exact same obstacles to overcome; and I readily admit that some of these are based on appearance including race. But even more of it is based on the advantages of birth and family. Of course, as you are testament, it is often what one does with the advantages that one is given that in the end makes the difference between one person’s life outcome and another’s. Playing a victim seems to me to be an odd role for anyone who has had sufficient advantages to have “made it to the top” of our society’s elite.
Having said that, it is interesting that your essay caused me to think of my own victimhood, since it is something that I never think about. Perhaps to follow your “cherry-picked” list would be instructive:
1. Like you, when I moved into a neighborhood where I was new and of different background, I was picked on. But I was also bullied and very often beat-up. I was almost the only gentile in a Jewish area; and these problems lasted years before a particularly bad beating led my parents to introduce my older “tough” cousin into the mix. He took on the ringleader and advised him that he would be held responsible and beat again if any of the others hurt me. That was the end of that. Unlike your situation where the boys’ parents were helpful, the parents in this setting were not willing to intervene when mine raised the issue. By the way, your rocks landed in the nice pool that you had. We had no money for a pool, but the rocks found their way to my head instead.
2. When your sister was five, she heard, apparently for the first time, the word “nigger” being used and being referred to her. I was often called “WAP” by others as a consequence of my Italian last name and heritage. Neither word’s use was proper. But, I must admit that I heard words like “spick”, “mic”, “kike” and “wap” much more often in my childhood than I heard “nigger.” I definitely was aware that the “n-word” use was reserved for the especially ignorant speaker of that word. Still, I knew as a kid that there were no shortages of ignorant bullies to use all of these words.
3. In your sophomore year of high school an ignorant teacher made an ignorant comment, which also highlighted the fact, well known to everyone and certainly not worth noting, that you were the only black in the room. My closest parallel to this was being in a middle school where I was part of the 3% that were not Jewish. Most teachers were fine with that, but I do recall having a hell-year in sixth grade from a Jewish teacher that repeatedly separated me for “special” treatment. It was a year of being an outcast as a consequence; to which my response was “fight” and not “flight.” Very unpleasant.
4. You accurately note in #4 that the existence of affirmative action programs, which created a disadvantage for admissions based solely on skin color, created animosity by those that were discriminated against. You then complain that this decreased the appearance of your own accomplishment, which you believe was meritorious alone. I appreciate that problem; and it is one of the many arguments made against affirmative action programs. Truth is that there is no way for you ever to know.
5. You note the fact that three people were apparently surprised that you were heading to the “real” Harvard (the one in Massachusetts). When it came time for me to go to college, it would not have occurred to me to even try to get into Harvard. No one in my family or extended family had ever been to college; and I certainly did not get any advice or encouragement indicating that it might be a possibility. And, in retrospect, it certainly was. I was an athlete, president of the student body, editor of the literary magazine, in the top 5% of my class academically and in the top 1% on the SAT; while holding down two jobs to meet expenses. But, I was not “privileged” enough to have the real opportunity to go to Harvard, as you were. Things worked out. I met a naval officer recruiter who introduced me to the Naval Academy (in Annapolis; though I had never been there). I am now a retired naval officer, having proudly served our republic. I am certain, by the way, that skin color made no difference to that acceptance; and in that respect I admit that I prefer my situation to yours with lingering concerns about the appearance of affirmative action.
6. In this paragraph of your essay you complain about the focus of our culture “primarily” (but not exclusively) on the “achievements of white men.” I think you are right to note that focus; but I think you are wrong to complain about it. I believe it is the result of an accurate reflection of the facts. We have a remarkably successful culture and society that is primarily the result our own mostly white predecessors who were themselves building on another remarkable foundation from white cultures in Europe. That is a fact. The advances did not mostly come from African or native American or many other societies.
7. In #7 you properly note the elitist snobbery and boorishness of “Master Sally.” Worthy of note. However, just remember where YOU were at the time: Being served a “fancy” meal in a formal setting that was intended to honor and celebrate your accomplishments as a member of that very elite. You were being introduced into a “club” of the top of the top…graduating Harvard elites. Frankly, any normal person of any color would have felt uncomfortable by Sally’s behavior. I suspect that not all of the servers were black. Regardless, Sally’s behavior would have been the same based on their lower status and value in her eyes.
8. In this instance (while experiencing the incredible opportunity presented by being hired as writer for a national television show!) you belatedly learned from your boss that he had thought that you were conceited and had an overblown impression of your talents. You claim that he based this exclusively on your race and sex. And, you learned about his idea of you because he apologized on his own initiative. It is hard to know at this point whether there was some truth to his observations, but it is certainly likely that there was some prejudging of you as a new hire. I guess I would expect there to be a certain amount of elitist scrutiny of new folks being added into this sort of rarified atmosphere. But, then again, as with the vast majority of Americans, I have never had the opportunity that you have to be in that setting.
9. In this paragraph you complain about the proposition that police officers “profile” possible suspects as they decide whether to scrutinize their behaviors and actions. There is a presumption here that this is being done by white officers; and that this is unwarranted and unfair. I commend the statistics of the United States Commission on Civil Rights to you regarding the rates of commission of crime by the various races. The truth is that black suspects are stopped much less often than the statistics would reasonably cause one to predict (and the same is true of shootings, by the way) and that there is not a correlation of white officers to black suspects that would reasonably result in an impression of racism. By way of example, it is much more likely that a police shooting of a black suspect will be by a black officer than a white one. We could argue regarding the efficacy or even the morality of focusing law enforcement attention on those groups most likely to be committing crimes, but I don’t see how this is a matter of racial privilege.
10. Your final point is that you find the mainstream media often is biased against African-Americans, and you claim that this is also an aspect of white privilege. I frankly find it hard to believe that between you and me that you have less to complain about the MSM than I. I am clearly in the “deplorables” category when they write about folks like me. I don’t argue against your sensibilities here, but need to point out that you are hardly the only person offended by what is published.
Lest you think that I am an insensitive old white man with no feelings, let me at least tell you a little about myself. After retiring from the Navy and a few successful start-up businesses, I now work with my wife on various charitable efforts. We just returned from Uganda, where we have contributed for years in the establishment of two schools, a clinic, a village well, and have just committed to building a women’s center for the promotion of micro-funded community-based businesses (which we will also mentor). We are also committed to education here and have founded multiple scholarships.
Bottom line: I care. And I would rather that everyone realize the degree to which each of us is accountable for our own futures. Blaming others or perseverating on the disparities of fate (whether it is race-based or not) will get nowhere for anyone. And finally, we need to work together; and there is nothing about this “white privilege” argument that encourages that.
Your post is a perfect example of white privilege, which is only a new concept to people like you. You take up as much space as possible on a blog about good Black news explaining that as a white man you do’t have privilege. Americans don’t want your charity and I wonder if Africans do too. The group I work with to aid Africans is not a charity but a solidarity group. We give whatever material aid the people request. We consider Black African people equal to white people. Their poverty is the fault of white colonizers who continue to rob the wealthiest continent of its mineral resources.
It seems like some readers commenting here are misinterpreting the author’s intent. She is clearly not purporting that her life is a tragedy due to her skin color; nor, I think, is she attempting to say that her personal struggles are greater than those of her white readers. In order to support her argument that white privilege exists, she doesn’t actually need to show that these statements are true.
All people suffer in this life one way or another, and yes, white readers who have led difficult lives may have suffered more overall than Lori. There may even be white people who suffer more than most black people. However, to argue that, consequently, white privilege does not exist is non sequitur. That conclusion simply does not follow from the premises. In addition, it is a blatant example of the straw man fallacy. The argument that white privilege exists does not rely on the premise that all black people must suffer more greatly than all white people. Nor does it rely on the premise that all white people lead good abundant lives simply by virtue of their skin color. That is obviously not true. Yet, those who are arguing against Lori in these comments seem to think that a single example of a white person leading a more difficult life than she is somehow a defeater of the argument for white privilege. White privilege is simply the fact that, on average, a white person will receive preferential treatment to some degree than a person of color in the same situation. It does not try to sum up a person’s entire life and label it easy or difficult, that is a gross oversimplification of the issue. Lori’s experiences are, in actuality, quite sound premises for the conclusion that white privilege does exist, regardless of her success. The fact remains that in each of the experiences she described, she would have been treated better had her skin been a different color. And that’s a problem.
Lori, thank you for your authenticity in this article, it has been eye opening. It is a shame that some out there don’t realize that your experiences are indeed a big deal. I think it comes from their lack of understanding that even more subtle slights, when repeated over and over throughout a person’s life, affect that person’s view of the world. In this case, the slights are either intended to reduce your worth as a human, or else unintentionally expose the fact that the instigator already has a lessened view of you. One or two such experiences can be brushed off, reading about another person experiencing all ten can also be brushed off by someone who did not live them. But when someone experiences these interactions throughout their life, it is by no means an over-sensitive complaint about a collection of benign experiences. It’s a psychologically harmful message that that person is unwanted and not valuable. Just because some white people experience this for being different in other ways, it is again a non sequitur to say that a black person’s experience of prejudice is any less of an atrocity. To further the dinner analogy, it would be like two children not receiving dinner and, when one says she should receive a meal, the other chastises her because there is another person who did not receive one. Just because there are other cases of prejudice, it does not follow that racial prejudice is less significant. In fact, it’s exactly because of racial prejudice that some white people think that their experiences of being discriminated against are more valid than those of black people. I know you don’t need some random person’s validation of your experiences, but I felt I had to speak up and point out the errors in your opponents’ lines of reasoning, if for no other reason than a show of solidarity and to add some points that these people may not have thought about.
Chuck: You are right… But, is all of this organized victimhood helpful? I recently responded to another posting here relating to the plight of Africans as follows: I have just returned from Uganda, where my wife and I are involved in creating schools, a clinic, and a women’s center related to micro-entrepreneurism. These are the poorest of the poor, with no sewage, running water, electricity, decent roads, etc. And, no government “safety net” of any kind. Yet, they are happy people, with a love for each other, God and their country. People in this country in comparison are spoiled, generally unaccountable for their own actions and situations, and too willing to be put into a victim category as an excuse for their problems. Look, I don’t claim there are no problems, just that EVERYONE has problems of one sort or another and it is not productive or helpful to achieving self-reliance and self-made success to focus on the obstacles or the other person’s perceived benefits by comparison. This whole “white privilege” issue seems to me to be harmful for that reason.
This is so racist I don’t even know where to start. Why do you compare African Americans with people in Africa? Do you compare white Americans to Black Africans and call them spoiled too? Do you think the descendants of America’s slaves should be grateful for whatever little scraps we white people let them have? Did you ever read the poem that begins “we wear the mask that grins and lies” about how Black people under slavery and Jim Crow always had to smile and suck up to white people for fear of their lives? Maybe they let you play White Savior in Africa, but Americans aren’t having it. Our job as white people is to work on our own racism and be allies by following the lead of Black activists. We offer solidarity, not charity.
Chuckebadger, maybe Lori didn’t need to hear it, but I did. Thank you for sharing and helping put some feelings I’ve struggled with into words. So true that the existence of other types of privilege doesn’t mean we shouldn’t work against white privilege; that’s what intersectionality is all about! And yes, it’s so easy to brush off another person’s 10 experiences you haven’t lived. But, those are just a small sampling of the repeated message: you don’t matter. That IS incredibly damaging. That’s exactly how my countless negative experiences with marginalized identities make me feel. Best solution seems to be to fight privilege wherever we see it because I don’t want ANYONE to be made to feel this way for ANY reason.
Lori, Thank you for writing this. I am a 55 year old white female. I grew up in Chicago. I had wonderful parents, and was raised to believe all men were equal. I never thought of race at all, till I believe I was 10 and moved to upper Wisconsin, where it was 99% white. Sometime after that I realized some around me had no idea about diversity, and many maybe had very different views than the ones I was raised with, and I knew that they sure lacked knowledge, and how sad that was. Anyway, I stand behind all men being equal, and always will. But I have long been sad about our times not being as fully inclusive for all people, and being fully past our horrid history of racism. ( I have a child with a disability, and know his challenges with inclusiveness in life.)
I want to say I learned a lot from reading this piece you wrote, and graciously shared with the public. A friend shared on Facebook, and I shared too. I/We need to learn more, about each other and how to make this a better world, for all. You are doing great work here! Bravo!
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Whenever I see something cited as an example of white privilege, including the situations you describe here, they are always things any normal member of society ought to be able to take for granted, whatever their race or other politically or idoologically fraught designation. The problem is not that some people have what you are labelling white privilege, but that some people don’t, and their circumstances need to be brought up to par with everyone else’s. Labelling what ought to be a universal norm with a racist-tinged term like “white privilege” only serves to perpetuate white-black animosity and sense of grievance. The term implies some people have an advantage that shoud be taken away, rather than the reality that some people have a disadvantage that should be removed. Politically, it appears to be an attempt by some (I hope not including you) to lay a guilt trip on whites that can be used against them, which should rightly be rejected, by whites and everyone else of good will. The true object is to get to the point where skin color is no more or less important than eye color – some people have a preference and otherwise it doesn’t matter. Introducing racially loaded terms like white privilege undermines that objective. Call it “human privilege,” to which EVERYONE is entitled, and maybe there can be more understanding and progress.
This would be easier to agree with if equal rights hadn’t been something people have been asking for for decades (centuries, actually) to no (little) avail. In concept, I agree with what you are saying. However, the reality is that some people don’t think there is a problem… and the reason they don’t is because they don’t/can’t understand that there is inequity in the system today.
The concept if “white privilege” is designed to let those people see the inequities which are only visible when you realize what “you” have that others don’t. Those disparities aren’t visible within other contexts.
Is it going to be divisive for some, certainly. However, those people weren’t on board for equality anyway, so no harm no foul. Some people will “get it” though, and it will be the force that moves them to a more balanced way of thinking (very much like you have demonstrated, actually). And therein lies the value of citing white privilege.
It’s use (and that of other mechanisms to bring forth social change) will stop right about the time people in general start treating everyone as you suggest they should. The conversations toward making that happen aren’t with the author of this piece though; they are with the people sitting in bars
saying “he’s so well spoken” when a minority gives an interview and sitting silently when a white person does. Because white privilege is absolutely being assumed to be literate and conversant while others are assumed not to be.
etc. etc. etc.
“ought to” and “should be”, the key indicators of a person not dealing with reality.
the reality is that your skintitlement acts as a signal to others with the same skin color that you are within the margins of “safe”, “decent”, “intelligent”, “rational”, etc etc blah blah blah (race is really about crude, immature playground politics)……..a delusional socially constructed mentality that persists today
heres a challenge for you: in 1961 john howard griffin’s book “black like me” was published. it was THE radical social experiment of the millennium in which he chemically increased his melanin so that his skin was dark enough that he could pass as black in the deep south.
id suggest that you: a.) read the book and b.) consider replicating griffin’s experiment (if you have the guts to pass as black and get stopped by white cops, that is)
if you are THAT ignorant of the reality that people experience social power and access to it differentially then there is nothing that can help you because you are either mentally or cognitively impaired or a bloody liar.
recognizing white privilege as a function of racialized social power is not rocket science, all it is is an exercise in truth.
not surprised it was a white guy. apparently white men suffer from some sort of mental/cognitive deficiency that acts as a barrier for them in seeing reality as it is.
im not even kidding, im growing more and more convinced that epigenetic and genetic factors have favored the lack of mirror neurons in white males (id not be at all surprised if white males also tested deficient in oxytocin) since in the past 3000 years the group known as “white” males are both the majority brutalizers and brutalized (by each other).
it only makes sense to me that evolutionary factors have produced individuals lacking in normal human prosocial wiring and responses.
i mean, everyone else doesnt have a problem with understanding the social issues around racism (wwith rare, and i mean RARE exceptions). i dont think white males are fully human as we understand “human” to mean which is operating from a fully prosocial, empathetic, compassionate capacity that recognizes and can relate to pain and other emotions in other humans (mirror neurons).
do the research, there are actual studies that show sociopaths have lower prevalence of mirror neurons which has implications for capacity to empathize and theory of mind etc.
if anyone qualifies for sociopathology its white men in america. as a white man, i am saying this will full cognizance of my own positionality as well as my own struggle with it.
Crazy interesting theory there! I’m a white woman and, as a group, white men scare me more than any other.
I don’t understand the argument or are we just pointing out that privilege exists? I would like to understand more about the evolution of the human mind and why people have a hard time understanding that there is nothing fair about the miserable situation in which we find ourselves, floating around on this rock in an endless cosmic darkness. It’s literally a miracle we’ve been able to make anything of it. I’d say we’ve done a fairly outstanding job attempting to even the playing field. A seemingly insurmountable task by most measures. The fact of the matter is people of all types are born into privilege (i.e., attractive privilege, IQ privilege, athletic privilege, etc). Luck of the draw. Get over it. Overcome it. In the history of man there has never been a time so ripe with opportunity for the people at the bottom.
Lori! Love your site. Love your post. Love hearing other’s stories so we can try to understand things we just don’t understand without listening and learning. Last week I walked into a restaurant with a gaggle of 7th grade boys. I smiled at them, and only one bravely called out to this white lady, “Hi, Mrs. Gibbs!”–the black boy. Thank you for fighting the media stereotype with good news of beautiful, brave people doing beautiful things. Thankful for you!
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In the US we chant land of the free. We boast equality for everyone. It’s just not true. Oppression is built into every social, financial, educational, and governmental process. Oppression happens for many reasons, race, intelligence, gender, sexuality, stature, skin color, hair color, zip-code, dialect, etc. One major reason of oppression in this country is economic oppression. The people living in the US are loosing wealth at an alarming rate. The white poor people are feeling true oppression like no other generation. The middle class white people are struggling not to become poor and don’t feel privileged. I believe this is where the animosity to the phrase “White Privilege” stems from. White people are struggling to hold onto the prosperity vision promised to them by their for fathers. Economic oppression knows no skin color. As well described in this article another major oppression is race oppression. One type of oppression doesn’t negate the other. We don’t need to battle if oppression is happening. What we do need to do is acknowledge that one type of oppression compounds the other. The fact is that it’s harder to be black in this country. Black people experience an oppression in a way white people will never experience. What we all need to do is fight against oppression of all types at every opportunity!
Lori,
Thank you for posting this. I found when I was looking for articles for a college class essay I’m writing. I’m currently in school for Human Services and in a class called Minority Race Relations covering basically what you wrote about. While white privilege is something that is sadly, newer knowledge to me (say the last decade or so) I’m still learning more through this class and through reading blogs and articles like this. I don’t know if you get through and read these comments but I just wanted to say thanks for the response because it’s part of opening a conversation and for us to know more and to move forward in making a difference. Something I hope I can do.
By the way, the story about your job and your boss who who made the comments after you didn’t like his pitch? As a woman I’ve had to deal with that too. I’m not trying to demean your situation at all, but I know the feeling of an assumption made at least over gender, and it’s hard. You handled it well, probably better than me. I’m one who always sweeps things under the rug and pretends it didn’t happen (street comments or sexual harassment as an example).
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THANK YOU FOR SHARING, Lori!
I need to point out that the writer was NOT saying that only black people deal with prejudice or racism. She was giving her personal accounts, which was asked by her friend. I do not think her experiences were overly sensitive. I think she knew exactly what was going on at all of those occasions. My Mexican father endured racism and my white mother grew up poor. White privilege is not only in regards to how much money you have in the bank, but also how you are treated by the whole of society. I think if she told people she was going to Harvard, others would not have asked clarifying questions. That is part of the point. Why was Lori asked these clarifying questions and not the others who are white–white privilege. The definition of privilege is: a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people. White people have the advantage of not being asked clarifying questions or being pulled over in a nice car when they are driving according to the law.
I am a straight, white woman and I know I have privileges associated with that. But you are the first person to actually intelligently explain what they are. I grew up in a small town with only one non-white family. I do have one question that I have asked other white people, the few black friends I have made as I have grown (because unfortunately I still live close to my hometown), and some Mexican associates. I honestly want to know and I’m trying not to be ignorant or insensitive. When my husband (white, with a very small percentage of Native American) was in the Army, the colored people would call him “nigger”. If he got upset about it, they would tell him he had no right to be upset. But another white guy used it because they were and they almost beat him to death. If this word is so offensive, why do colored people use it?
Thank you for sharing your painful, poignant story. I, like your friend, have always tried to be kind and courteous to everyone, but in my heart I struggled to understand what white privilege meant. I couldn’t help being born white, anymore than you could being born black. It never seemed fair to me that people were treated differently because of their color. God created us all, after all, and each race is beautiful.
I was in church one Sunday when a lovely black man, a Christian rapper of some renown, shared that the first thing he tries to do when he meets white people is put them at ease and convince them he isn’t trying to rob them. My heart broke. I have a friend whose dear sweet father was mistreated by the police when he was a young man – all because of his color.
I don’t know what the answer is, but I think it begins with acknowledging that the mistreatment has occurred and acknowledging the pain that people of color have faced. I acknowledge your pain. And I’m deeply sorry and ashamed for the ignorance of the people who caused it.
Excellent article. You made it so easy for those with WP to understand. Whether my fellow white people want to understand it is another thing.
Thank you.
Lori, I admire your courage and sensitivity. I’m white, so I don’t know what it feels like to live as a black or brown person in America. I am a woman, a sexual abuse and rape survivor, and part of the LGBTQ community. I don’t propose that those experiences are the same as or “equal” to being a racial minority. What did feel familiar in reading your post was the way negative experiences because of those identities has affected my whole life in countless ways, big and small. There’s so much good information out there explaining concepts like misogyny, white privilege, homophobia, disability, etc., that I feel invisible when someone like “Jason” calls people with marginalized identities out because HE hasn’t seen enough evidence. I want to speak up, but I’m already exhausted by the prospect of not being believed AGAIN before I can get the words out. So re: your words on white privilege, though I won’t ever know what it’s like to experience it, I will always believe you and other people of color when you speak about it. Thank you for your courage. I’d love to find a way to be courageous and talk about my own experiences. Can we add this to the list: if you’ve never wrestled with whether to share something deeply personal and hurtful that happened to you for fear you won’t be believed because of your race, sex, etc.,you have privilege.
Megan, thank you for your comments and for adding another great point to the list – I admire you as well!
This is enlightening and so helpful. While I generally think that anecdotes are not the best way to make one’s case, you create a narrative that cleanly describes not only your experiences, but the ways in which they have become an ingrained part of our societal norms. Thank you! Thank you for your clarity of mind and your quite obvious intellectual prowess!
I would obviously like to know how your friend responded to this, with the hope that it gave him inspiration to keep working to create a safer world for women and people of color.
I read it all. I am 79 years old, a Christian who has helped the homeless, spent 8 years walking the streets of NYC helping every needy person I could, regardless skin color. I now work in a city where I am 1% of the community doing the same. For me there is only one race, the Human Race, and God made it. So where is God in all of this. Jeremiah 29:11
The author is spot on! I am married to a white woman who is a pastor of a church. Her brother repeatedly offends me w racist comments, referring to me as “an angry black woman” when I share my differing perspective. Laughed w my spouse saying “the ones who drive a mercedes cant afford one” as if I needed to verify my income. He also stated that I listen to “ghetto rap music” when he has never heard my preferred selection of music. He has a hidden lawn jockey in the backyard. He also stated that “you cant play the race card, play the gay card”. He once said to my wife that he could live in a world wo black people! The comments makes my blood boil and I correct him wo hesitation. But the constant defending myself is hideous! My spouse does nothing when said to me. So indeed white privilege is strong, alive and kicking!
I would think it would be really inappropriate for this guy to ask this of his black friends. There is an abundance of literature online, books, workshops about white privilege. It isn’t the job of people of color to teach white people about their own racism. They already have the burden of being recipients of racism. I think his request is part of his white privilege. I also felt that he was minimizing or questioning his part in the problem of institutionalized racism/white privilege by saying he’s treated people with respect and giving examples of what he’s done right. II also don’t know why he said he didn’t want the information from online. So is he questioning the validity of the concept of white privilege and needing direct proof from friends that it esists? I am white and I continue to read anything I can to improve my knowledge of racism, but I’m not naive enough to think it has lessened my white privilege. It just has helped me to understand it better and hopefully to create less micro aggregations to people of color.
Thank you Ms. Hutcherson. This is a beautiful, constructive, instructive piece.
Recently read your article and as a brown skinned immigrant, no need to say I can relate. I am curious as to your friend’s reaction then and, more importantly, what changed for him between then and now. Would it be possible to do a follow up with your friend to get a gauge of what worked, what is working, and what work still needs to be done?
Thank you for sharing this! I am grateful that this came up on my FB feed and look forward to continuing to subscribe to this site.
My heart aches…you are my sister. I desperately want to know and understand, to be a learner. Thank you for all you are doing, for helping to open my eyes and those of many others.
Thank you. Thank you for candidly sharing from your painful past. The truth of the matter is that the majority culture has a choice to step into and confront racial issues, people of color don’t have that opportunity. They are confronted with it each and every day. Majority culture (White people), when presented with the option to confront or ignore racial issues, please make the choice to confront or at least be open to dialogue.
White folks who engage in this manner are often just looking for affirmation that they are not racist. So they define racism as requiring conscious animus. When confronted with the concepts of structural, institutional, and systemic racism, and especially when confronted with the concept of white privilege, they recoil because these ideas mean that animus is not required and that we all have responsibility in combating racism. They lack the ability to make the distinction between blame/fault and responsibility and instead seek to protect their fragile egos.
To truly combat racism, the first step is to shut up an listen to the lived experiences of POC and accept them as having the same validity as one’s own.
Great story. It covers some of the things that Black people deal/live with on a daily basis. However, as you said there are far too many to list and so very painful to relive. I often find myself wondering why Black people are hated and disrespected so much. Thanks for sharing some of your situations. May readers be enlightened.
My God Lori, i have nothing left to add. I believe you summed it up for all of us, such poised & heartfelt words. Not only should this piece be posted in every magazine known to man, but it should also be blown up as a supersized billboard and placed in every corner of the United States if America. Thank you for sharing your heart and for putting ours in words. #tears
Been a while to respond..but late is not relevant.Humanity is. ” It all starts in a public form like Schools…and as early as kindergarten for that matter. The Social essence of communication should be ingrained from outside the home first thing.
I grew up in a middle class, white majority, Midwest city, to well off white parents with good paying jobs and every opportunity I could hope for. I know nothing, NOTHING, of what it’s like to be ostracized because of the color of my skin. Thank you Lori Lakin Hutcherson for sharing your experience. You have shown me a side I could never see myself and instilled a new understanding in me. I will use my privilege to call out people in my community on their ignorance or blatant racism. Thank you again.
I’m a 50yo white female, I’ve had an unique upbringing since at the age of three my mother married a black man. I was mainly raised with his family and half of my mothers family that were also in interracial relationships. We were totally accepted into his family and I have many wonderful childhood memories wth my family. I didn’t realize until middle school how different I was from other white students. I didn’t share their interests in music, movies, books, tanning (lol) or life views, this made me an outcast. I’ve been asked over the years why are my children interracial to which I reply, “If my father, uncles, brothers and other influential male figures in my life have always been black, I have witnessed and been subjected to the prejudices, struggles and felt their pain. How can I be expected to relate to someone else?” I’ve given bits of my history to validate I’m not just some random white person popping up to fake my outrage. I’ve explained to my children what white privilege is and told them what I experience in the world when I’m out alone. As they have gotten older they have picked up on the differences and have spoken out. My children have seen us being ignored in stores (I let them know that if I was alone I would have gotten immediate recognition and service), only to have white people walk in after and receive such service, we leave empty handed because you have now disrespected me and my children, therefore do not deserve my hard earned money. We’ve been to restaurants and left after waiting long periods to be served, I ask to speak to the manager and email each corporate headquarter after I leave. I’ve seen middle school white girls react to my beautiful daughter’s photo under the lead character’s name (out of obvious jealousy, because sorry they couldn’t even compare themselves to her) when she was the lead in the school plays two years in a row and for a music video shot at their school. I’ve had my son call me on the phone because he’s been pulled over, wants his mother to know what’s going on, has the officers state their names and reason for him being pulled over so I can bear witness, only to be let go because his offense was as he calls it “Driving While Black”. So, until your son does this spare me the there’s no such thing as white privilege or your being opposed to Black Lives Matter! I’ve taught them to shop at retailers where they employ people of color and company’s that give back to the community that supports their business. I’ve taught my children that they need to excel at all that they do, especially because of the color of their skin and my daughters being a double minority. I’ve meet with teachers over the course of the years, most times they’re shocked that I’m white and I have at least that “power” when they’ve started bullshit with my children. My children are expected to be underachievers and unkept, I’m expected to be trashy, uneducated and dirty because I have interracial children. I’ve worked at the same company for over 30 years and I’m currently working on completing my MSN, I try lead my children by example. I’m blessed because they have positive, loving role models and mentors in their lives through both sides of their families and friends. Even with all of their positive influences I still reel in the unfairness placed upon them because of their skin tone. So, for those that try to deny and downplay the “White Privilege” claim, yes this seemly undercover factor of oppression continues to rear it ugly head.
White privilege is asking your black friends to take their time to answer your dumbass and ignorant question instead of turning to google and doing the work to figure it out yourself. This “friend” deserves no credit. So tired of white people asking their POC friends to explain to them instead of researching and seeking to understand.
From the bottom of my heart – Thank you, Lori! I hope this goes viral!
Thanks for your words. To be honest I felt ‘exempt’ from white privilege since I was not raised to judge others by race or religion & have not gotten things handed to be due to status or money. I’ve never full understood this term even after asking some friends from other races. Your examples are heartbreaking but paint an accurate picture of what black people have experienced in our country for centuries. It’s just terrible that you’ve had to experience that & I wish I could erase it all. Thanks for being bold enough to share your experiences to help open up others eyes. I hope that this will help shape others to change the future to not perpetuate this injustice. Thank you again!!
Thank you for this.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share this. I feel I too, like your friend, that I needed to hear this from someone’s heart and learn this way instead of from the media.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this down and reliving some of the many unpleasant memories. I love the approach and all things you’ve written . Very inspiring!
I found this article on a Facebook link to Yes magazine where the accompanying picture was replaced to an arguably sullen black woman. Realizing this is the original source and is posted with a simple text image and your headshot, I thought it should be to your attention if it hasn’t already. The image seems to me like one you would have replaced had the source come then other way around. That aside, amazing and powerful response. Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you for taking the time to write this…it’s helped me understand the perspective of others a bit more. Honestly, i’m at a loss for words…I feel like some of the subtle racism around me passes by without my noticing, so I really appreciate your words.
Just read “My White Friend Asked Me on Facebook to Explain White Privilege. I Decided to Be Honest” via a Mari Lee share. Well written. When I heard the term about 4 years ago, did some looking around and ran across Jane Elliot on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mcCLm_LwpE. I’m 66, white in Wisconsin. Boy, can she drive the point home! I don’t feel bad that I have white privilege. I’m glad I’m aware I have it. What I wish is that the term wasn’t needed at all. Because the term white privilege is in use it means others don’t have it and that’s what is disappointing – everyone should have the same privileges. Thanks again for a well written article.
Waaaaoooh.
I have been looking forward to also understand what “white privilege” means,
Hence, my interest in you post.
BUT, BUT, BUT,
& WITH A LOT OF SINCERITY.
After deeply going through the points,
A Picture of a PERSON SUFFERING FROM LOW ESTEAM came out.
I didn’t see anything todo with color,
And this has added more worries in my heart,
IF someone, who has gone ‘through Harvard’ of Massachusetts. One expected to be a model and a fighter for the Blacks who have not gotten such opportunities can cry RACISM = WHITE PRIVILEGES,
THEN,
WE, (blacks) ARE DOOMED.
Dear Ms Hutcherson,
Thank you for your article. When I first started hearing ‘white privilege’ I was hard put to see how it benefited me. Then a few years ago I was in a grocery store. I had the side bags off my bike which were each about the size of a grocery bag. I wanted to do my shopping but not buy too much for transporting it all home. I thought it was a good idea to put the items right into my bags. After about the 10th side glance from employees of the store, more than I had ever walked past before, I started to feel like something was up. Hmmm. Usually I put it down to having an honest midwestern face and white hair, but on this particular day it became clear to me that even if I was honest ,white haired, And a small black women, I probably would have gotten more than lots of curious looks.
In younger days I got a lot of crap just being a woman, I can’t imagine having to add a whole other layer of stupidity to the mix.
I’m glad to hear of your website (via Quora) and will keep up with you now. Thank you.
Thank you for your honest, eloquent response. Your article was shared on Facebook, and I believe you have educated many of us. I signed up for emails of new posts and I look forward to reading more!
Thank you for this. Really great read.
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Lori, your reply to the enquiry by your high school friend was thoughtful, detailed, and clear. If anyone still needs more examples, they may wish to read Peggy McIntosh’s “Unpacking the Knapsack of White Privilege”. [https://www.pcc.edu/illumination/wp-content/uploads/sites/54/2018/05/white-privilege-essay-mcintosh.pdf ]
After a list of examples (some of which you provide detailed examples of in your response) McIntosh talks about the fact that white privilege is systematic, rather than individualized:
“…a white skin in the United States opens many doors for whites whether or not we approve of the way dominance has been conferred on us.” And, I would add, whether or not white people are aware of this. (This does not mean that white people do not face discrimination because of income, social class, disability, gender, weight, etc.)
In Canada, the Supreme Court rejected the “similarly situated should be similarly treated” analysis of discrimination used in American courts and instead has said that discrimination is not only the imposition of disadvantage but also the withholding of advantages. The Canadian Constitution provides that laws, programmes, or activities meant to ameliorate the situation of disadvantaged groups are not discrimination. Although this approach has by no means ended discrimination in Canada, I find that it is a better response to the systemic nature of discrimination.
[…] A version of this post originally appeared on goodblacknews.org […]
Thank you for sharing. I struggle to educate my friends and family who fall on the “white privilege is a myth” side of the equation and I think this helps. If only the world had a little more empathy…
Thank you for actively working to make a change!
Thank you for sharing.
So let me get this straight…your parents had the opportunity to qualify for a mortgage and buy a home in a nice neighborhood, and then put in a pool. Then once your mother explained the situation about the kid throwing rocks in the pool to the neighbors mom, she apologized, made him clean it out, and then everyone became friends. Then an idiot 5 year old boy calls your sister a terrible name and then 10 years later an idiot teacher calls you a terrible name. Off to Harvard University for your education before a career on a tv show and then as an entrepreneur creating your own online business. A story of “white privilege” or of great success and opportunity in America?
Thank you so much for this. I am white woman in Vermont with two young white children who works as a first grade teacher in a rural, high poverty school. I want to do well in the world. I want to understand. I have been reading and reading and reading. I have been talking to my children. Your article has been so helpful.
So happy to hear that. Thank you for sharing and for doing the work!
[…] Editorial: What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege […]
never experienced any of these but i know its a big problem, thank you for writing this
Great piece – I will listen and follow!
[…] What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege […]
I’ve just read this post. Thank you so much for adding clarity. As a white male 45 yr old UK police officer who has been serving for 19 yrs. In recent days I have struggled with my place in all this being white, male, the age I am and also being a police officer wearing a uniform.
I am educating myself more and will endeavour to continue to read and listen to gain a better understanding of racism and it’s deep entrenched roots.
Thank you again.
Much love. Chris
Ty Chris. This means a lot!
Such a generous article. Thank you.
Hi Lori,
I’m glad you took the time to write your article. I love the way your mother handled the rock-throwing incident, along with the neighbor’s response. This is the way we are raising our children, and I wish everyone had this decency. You seem empathetic and strong, and I admire you for helping to make society better for all of us. You inspire me, as a teacher, to continue to point out prejudice, help students to discuss it and confront their own prejudice – often systemic and passed on from their families. Hearing your stories helped me to remember and feel again the tension I saw in college 30 years ago, as one of three women in a large male engineering program, then again upon entering a male-dominated workforce. I daily strove to be exceptional and break the prejudice. It was tiring, but my experiences have shaped me, and firmed my resolve to treat every human being with understanding and respect.
Thank you so much!
I would like to thank you for this piece, Lori. I reposted it on my FB page with the following intro:
This should be required reading for my white friends–even the enlightened ones–because it’s so easy to forget that we always start with a leg up, no matter how tough our lives may be. At least, underprivileged as some of us might be or might have been, any little break we get starts with “being the right color”. White people, even well-intentioned white people, have no little trouble understanding what is meant by the words “white privilege”. Part of our culture is about making ourselves believe that: we’ve come up from the bottom, we’ve worked for everything we ever got, nobody ever gave us a hand, and any breaks we ever had we achieved through hard work and shrewdness. And far too many white people are quick to complain about affirmative action or to say that minorities have nothing to bitch about, that they are equal to everybody else, even when they SEE minorities as different, as a separate sub-group, as people who are lucky to be where they are in “our” society and just need to work harder to be “equal”. Inequality, they feel, doesn’t exist, even as they treat a black or brown person differently than they do a white person simply because his or her skin is not white.
Anyway, these were my thoughts as I read this brilliant article culled from a request on FB by a white male friend of an African American woman that she please explain “white privilege” to him because “he didn’t understand it”. It’s a crash course on the subject. If you’re white and decide not to read it because you think “it isn’t relative to you”, fine, but it might be a sign that you’re part of the problem.
Wow, that was an amazing article. I am a white woman, Jewish background who grew up with parents who fled Austria because someone decided being Jewish was an issue. My parents raised us to see people as people, not by color or culture but to explore where others were coming from. To read what you have experienced and what others have experienced is so maddening and wrong wrong wrong! Your article gave such great examples that I could relate to, and has made me even more aware of the world in which I move. I want to be sensitive but not patronizing, supportive but not belittling. I have never talked with my black friends about this – we just do life together. I would love to hear their thoughts on it too. I also work with friends in Haiti, Tanzania, Kenya, Ethiopia and Uganda, and it would be interesting to ask them questions as well. Thank you for so eloquenting putting into words what many are struggling to convey.
Well written. Thank you – I do pray for a day when no one here even sees skin color!!
Ms. Hutcherson, thanks for this great article, and the examples of your experiences, but I think you left out one example that may have been close to home for your friend.
You could have included “If you’ve ever written your friends asking them to provide personal examples of institutional racism so that you can understand it better for yourself, you have white privilege”…
Thank you Lori for this powerful, informative article. I really think your article can help educate the world to mean new generations of people don’t have to go through as much as you have. I came up with a theory while reading your article (as a white man from the UK). I think some white men need white privilege explained to them because they instinctively, defensively and ignorantly feel “what privilege?, i’ve had it hard, have to work to hold down my job and pay the mortgage etc” (which of course sounds whiny, pathetic and ignorant!) I think this is because they don’t feel privileged as they see themselves as “the norm” in the world or compare their experience to landed gentry/ multimillionaires who seem to have it really easy. I think it takes a shift of psychology to not think from their own perspective. Perhaps white men almost have to think less of their white privilege and more of black underprivilege, then they might see the problem. However hard a white man thinks life has been for him, he should imagine having had the identical experience but how much worse it would have been if he had been black and a woman as well, with all the examples of situations you gave. I hope this makes sense and might help others understand and be more sensitive and informed. Peace and love to you and your family. x
Thank you! Peace and Love to you too!
Reading your article brought it home to me. My friend came to england from africa when he was 9. there were only about 3 black people in our entire school back then. Once, a schoolteacher who seemed genuinely fascinated by his short afro hair tried to touch his hair in the playground. my friend ran away and everyone laughed. It didn’t feel malicious at all, but i now suddenly imagine it from my friend’s perspective and your example number 3. Also, years later that friend was angry for getting stopped by the police. At first I naively wondered if it was because he walked around at night alone a lot (which i didn’t do), but then he kept getting stopped and i realised the only time i got stopped by the police (still to this day) was when i was out with my friend.
Thank you for sharing your life experiences. I know this isn’t always easy and I appreciate you.
Thank you 🙂
Thank you Lori. A friend of mine posted this today and I now understand what the term really means. It makes sense. I plan to follow your website!
wonderful. thank you!
[…] goodblacknews.org/2016/07/14/editorial-what-i-said-when-my-white-friend-asked-for-my-black-opinion-o… […]
[…] this. Read this. Show your kids this. Read Malorie Blackman to your […]
Thank you so much for writing this article a few years ago – must’ve been right after Philando Castile was murdered. I really appreciate your perspective and the stories you shared and will be sharing it with many of my friends. As a white pediatrician, I am particularly sorry about the doctor’s response when you got accepted to Harvard – you rock! I will also follow your website!
Thank you so much for sharing and following! Please continue to spread the word!
I found this article very informative and enlightening. The comments not so much. People here are trying to have a conversation. I think it is brave of people to admit they have mixed feelings or try to say that they have had similar experiences and they are not blac. The big problem I see is the hostility people use in their responses. The conversation just gets shut down. The person who asked the question, just probably left. People are trying to understand get their head around this term. Please dont be so hostile to people who are doing their. best. Absolutely, there is a long way to go, but we have to be able to keep a discussion going.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m a white female in from the UK and I absolutely agree white privilege exists, even here. I’m sorry you’ve had to grow up enduring this kind of racism, no one should, I and my family will continue to fight for equality for all. I hope as time goes on you can be proud of the world we all live in as we all push forwarded together for a better world.
wonderful. ty!
A friend shared this article on fb and I planned on reading and sharing, but did not expect to open up with my own history in addition to the share. I am a first generation Korean American and this is what I included:
“This was a damn good read, and also a little jarring and eye opening for me personally.
Being half white and half model minority my internal dialogue has been having one foot in privilege and one foot dealing with prejudice/racism. I assumed those issues were entirely intersectional since I’ve dealt with sexism and misogyny, especially throughout my career. Reading through this list and Lori’s timeline as she grew up, I found myself checking all of the same boxes. Racial slurs, assumptions I didn’t earn my place or achievements, off comments from authority figures thinking they’re making cute jokes, questioning my intelligence because I had a backbone and disagreed, etc. Assumptions about my sexuality and demeanor have also come up as a theme but that wasn’t discussed in this particular article (it has been in others). I think I’ve used model minority as an emotional cushion to try and soften the blows of this reality. I’m not in denial that these things happened in my life, but I marginalized and normalized a lot of it without realizing that’s what I was doing. I’m more than aware of how damaging model minority stereotypes are for everyone.
I didn’t expect to gain that personal insight from this read. But I can confirm it is an excellent answer to the question “what is white privilege?” And it sucks we have to say this over and over again, but no one is mad at anyone for being white. Just read it, it’s quick and it flows well.”
I appreciate this piece for so many reasons, thank you for taking the time to share your experience.
Ty for sharing the more we speak our truths the more chance there is for change!
A bit of a pessimistic, looking through life with racist-colored glasses in my opinion.
Maybe it’s the age difference but my 5 – for the sake of brevity – life experience would be as follows (note I’m not black but am dark skinned Hispanic with a shaved head (male-pattern baldness is a bitch) who’s often confused as black)
1. Admitted to a good college over more qualified peers.
2. Considered ‘cool’ and wanting to be friended by my high school classmates
3. Assumed to be athletic and envied for it
4. Since 2010 approached by well meaning white people to explain how sorry they are for my assumed mistreatment
5. Job opportunities and promotions ahead of the majority group
I’ve had some racist experiences early in my life (mostly by older generations) but I’m not convinced in hindsight that they weren’t just jerks looking to push whatever button would hurt me most.
Perhaps it’s just my situation but I’ve been grateful for being – in my community – different.
[…] 2017, Lori Lakin Hutcherson—founder and editor of Good Black News—wrote an editorial in response to a white friend of hers who had asked, “what does white privilege look like?” Using personal […]
Well done. Thank you! I would add that if the stress (PTSD) of having to consistently remain hyper-vigilant for transgressions – ranging from microaggressions to having guns drawn on you – because of the color of your skin hasn’t negatively impacted your mental, spiritual, physical or financial well-being, you have white privilege.
i sympathize with anyone who has suffered this way. i don’t believe i have ever done any of these acts, so i don’t believe that all whites are part of “institutional racism”. i have seen it and i don’t condone it. if someone does it in my presence, they will hear my unfavorable reaction. i am very aware of racial differences, having been raised in America. I don’t know of any color blind societies where there are mixed races. but i think that discussing racial differences in an appropriate situation is a far cry from treating a person negatively because of their race.
Great article. As a white guy, I always appreciate hearing experiences that help me glean a better understanding of what others (of any colour, nationality, etc) experience.
Sadly, I saw this re-shared on another site and it was a facepalm moment because as you discussed *right in your article* the shared version has added an image of a sad, or at least unhappy, woman. When I saw that is was edited from the original, I wanted to share your version and couldn’t help but see how different your image is.
Ty Craig for sharing, for writing in, and for making that connection to the text. Yes, we happily give permission who all who want to reshare and republish in efforts to help education and further discourse, but we are not responsible for images chosen to accompany the republishing. Ironic that the point is proven often by the very people who genuinely want to help. Just goes to show how insidious unconscious bias can be.
Thank you, Lori, for sharing this article! I am truly sorry that you and others have had to endure such discriminations you shared. If all white folks could hear the numerous stories like these from you and other black/brown folks, I hope it would open their eyes, negate their ignorance and narrow the racial gap. I pray that people will continue to search themselves and be willing to have open and transparent conversations that make us vulnerable and uncomfortable (how else will we grow?). White folks need to be enlightened by their black/brown brothers and sisters and understand, as my pastor said recently, it’s not enough to be “not racist”, you have to be “anti-racist”. Please keep telling your story and encourage others to do so as well!
I am so glad you wrote this. I am actually of Mexican heritage but you would never know by looking at be because I literally match the sidewalk when I go outside. I was raised in a state that unfortunately until probably the last decade, had about 99% white and to this day has a serious racism problem. While I never acted or thought the way many other people in my community I grew up in, I do have to admit that I have had to educate myself and learn myself how to fight what is so negative in my state. Recently there was a local doctor who was called a vulger name while sitting at a diner and she wrote this really good blog post about how everyone that was white around her talked about it to each other but no one even bothered to acknowledge to her that it had happened, which I really don’t get because I would have made sure she was okay, not because of her race but because she’s a person. Those people driving by screaming horrible things had no clue that she was a doctor and could maybe someday save their life. I’ve also got some friends that are mexican that are getting similar treatment. Just last week, one of my friends was flipped off and yelled at for blasting mexican music in her car on the way to work. I hate that I haven’t recognized this difference before or that I needed the explanation but I am so grateful to people like you that are willing to be vulnerable in sharing your story and being patient as we very very slowly get it.
Thank you for your kind words and for sharing some of your story. Onward and upward!
Can we come up with different terminology? “White Privilege” sounds so inflammatory to most white people that they will immediately tune out the rest of the conversation, and then nobody learns anything.
I think any phrase that would be used; some people will find offensive and tune out the rest. That is on them. If you truly want to learn then you will open yourself up and accept that “White Privilege” isn’t necessarily a negative thing. It helps make white people(myself included)to stop and think how we can make sure we aren’t using “white privilege” as an advantage. If we see others using “white privilege” that we aren’t being complicit. “White privilege” is what Oprah would call a “light bulb moment.” At least for me it is.
[…] Lori Laken Hutcherson, Founder and Editor-in-Chief of “Good Black News,” wrote an article called “What I Said When My White Friend Asked For My Black Opinion on White Privilege.” […]
such an excellent article. Thank you so much for writing it and sharing it. Your editorial was shared with me by a friend and i, in turn, would love to share it with others who participate with me in a class on White Privilege taught by the pastor of Union Church, Berea, Kentucky. It is a wonderfully eye-opening class and your editorial would surely contribute to our discussions. May I have your permission to share it?
Yes you have my permission. Please share!
Thank you Lori , I hope your friend starts doing the work himself now and realises it’s his job as a white male to not only recognise that white privilage is very much a thing and that as a white male especially that he can actively do something about it, been at the top of the pole of privilege in every sence.
Thank you for sharing what had to be painful memories, but are, and will hopefully continue to be, words that will educate all and bring us to a “table” of difficult communication.
I will continue to read your site to help me learn and better understand the feelings, words and actions of all people of color.
Grateful!
[…] EDITORIAL: What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege […]
[…] years ago I wrote an essay called “What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege” that ended up going viral and getting re-published by several large outlets in 2016, 2017, 2018, […]
[…] years ago I wrote an essay called “What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege” that ended up going viral and getting re-published by several large outlets in 2016, 2017, 2018, […]
[…] years ago I wrote an essay called “What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege” that ended up going viral and getting re-published by several large outlets in 2016, 2017, 2018, […]
[…] years ago I wrote an essay called “What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege” that ended up going viral and getting re-published by several large outlets in 2016, 2017, 2018, […]
[…] years ago I wrote an essay called “What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege” that ended up going viral and getting re-published by several large outlets in 2016, 2017, 2018, […]
[…] Here’s my response: read HERE. […]
[…] EDITORIAL: What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege […]
[…] was crap. I now realize it was and is still alive.” This from a white man after reading an article I posted on Facebook that gives clear, concrete examples of what black Americans live with every day that […]
[…] “What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege” by Lori Lakin Hutcherson — White individuals can ask Black friends for help, but it is not the obligation of any Black loved one to do so. In fact, asking individuals from a marginalized group to educate someone who benefits from racist structures of power can be further traumatizing or isolating, as explored in this journal article from Equity, Diversity and Inclusion. […]
Over and over I read that having “white privilege” is not something I should be ashamed of or have to apologize for. But look through the comments, and when things start to get combative, and you will see the term “white privilege” being thrown like a hand grenade. It’s kind of obvious when, as a white male, someone is telling me something about myself. That makes it personal. We should be talking about society and the marginalization of women, blacks, POC, LGBT, Indigenous, physically challenged, mentally challenged, etc. Let’s promote learning the history of these groups. Let’s talk solutions. Let’s talk policy options. But if you attack me personally, require that I publicly confess to “white privilege” so that you can throw it in my face two minutes later, I’m just going to disengage. I’m just going to watch sports. And that’s not an optimal outcome.
Thanks for your article — and all the follow up, too. My take on white privilege is to break it down: privi-lege, means “private connection,” which means “who you know.” It can be hard to internalize other people’s experiences, but if I think of times when I’ve gotten into a bad situation, and who I was able to turn to for help (my connections), it’s easy for me to see concrete examples of white privi-lege in my own life.
[…] 2017, Lori Lakin Hutcherson—founder and editor of Good Black News—wrote an editorial in response to a white friend of hers who had asked, “what does white privilege look like?” Using […]
[…] 2017, Lori Lakin Hutcherson—founder and editor of Good Black News—wrote an editorial in response to a white friend of hers who had asked, “what does white privilege look like?” Using personal […]
[…] 2017, Lori Lakin Hutcherson—Fundador y editor de Buenas noticias negras—Escribió un editorial en respuesta a una amiga blanca que le había preguntado: “¿Cómo se ve el privilegio blanco?” […]
[…] 2017, Lori Lakin Hutcherson—founder and editor of Good Black Information—wrote an editorial in response to a white buddy of hers who had requested, “what does white privilege appear like?” Utilizing […]
Help me understand number seven. If the cafeteria staff was all white would it then be OK? I feel on very rare occasions we go looking for something to be racist when it isn’t. I can see the same thing being said to the meal staff in our armed forces and I had to read that one twice to find the scorn.
I really pray for racial equality. Our church whose led by one of the best black preachers around Houston, Keion Henderson, https://www.keionhenderson.com/about-us/ has truly been an advocate of acceptance, love and of course equality!
[…] EDITORIAL: What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege […]
Very well put. I’ve never seen such a succinct explanation of white privilege. My take is that if someone can’t fathom white privilege then that is a sign that they have it. You have such a way with descriptions. Thanks for teaching me some new phrases. You have more comments than I have ever had to scroll down before.
this is true if a dark skinned moves to a light skinned area to be hated on the minority there, however, it is also true of a light skinned moves to a dark skinned area too for the same to happen to them. if a white person were to also move to a majorly dark skinned area, like here in the heart of the city, they would be instantly a target, in the dead sense of the meaning. i think that anywhere someone is a minority in an area of another majority they are the target. same as if you’re the only gay, or the only overweight person. something different from everything else causes bullying, even in nature. if there is a white crow the other ones bully it to literal death. it’s unfortunate, it seems there will always be this, all over the world. just like in asian countries not always liking outsiders too, where they have like “japanese only” restaurants. i think privilege depends on where one is at the time. in white society white have that and in black they have that and in asian they do, until the world is finally fully mixed will this be less… but even then will there be something new to separate and pick apart again. even if we were all the same with slight differences, it would be those slight differences that would become the new majority or minority unfortunately.
I’m coming back to re-read this opinion 7 years later. I shared it in a blog post of mine in July of 2016 and I’m reposting that blog post on my new site. Thank you again and again for sharing. I will continue to try to be the best human that I possibly can.
Thank you so much I am glad it still resonates for you all these years later!