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EDITORIAL: A Letter to Friends Who Really Want to End Racism

by Lori Lakin Hutcherson (@lakinhutcherson)

Yesterday I posted a letter to friends on my personal Facebook page to help process my thoughts and feelings on what happened in Central Park with birder Christian Cooper and Amy Cooper and what happened to George Floyd at the hands of Minneapolis police, as well as other recent events. Some have encouraged me to make the letter public, as it might help others. Since that is the primary mission of Good Black News, here it is:

Dear Friends,

First off, this is going to be a long one, so if you are inclined to read my more serious posts, circle back when you have a good 5-to-7 minutes. Secondly, thank you to everyone who took a moment to read, respond and/or comment on my post yesterday about the woman in Central Park who called the police to falsely report that an African American man was threatening her life. I appreciate the solidarity, the rage, the links, the legal statutes, the sharing of up-to-date information on the incident – all of it!

But I did not have it in me to reply or respond yesterday because following that post, I saw the Minnesota footage. I saw what could have happened to Christian Cooper actually happen to George Floyd. That took me places. If Central Park woman was my trigger, George Floyd was the bullet. I literally had to lie down.

Many of you know I have a site called Good Black News where for the last 10 years, I have been posting positive stories about Black people or about those who are doing positive things for Black people. If you don’t already know the reasons why I do it, I believe you can infer.

Part of my process in finding those positive stories is reading through A LOT of stories that are not. I usually bear this well for a few reasons: 1)I believe witnessing injustices, other human beings’ pain, struggles and conflicts and reading different perspectives on them is a helpful step to healing for everyone even when you don’t know yet what the step after that is 2)I’ve observed over time that within a few days or weeks, stories can swing from negative to positive, giving real-time affirmation to MLK’s “the arc of the moral universe bends towards justice” quote 3) it’s worth the psychic toll it can take because knowledge is power and finding the good stuff is worth it.

But then there are days like yesterday, like after Ferguson, Trayvon Martin, the Charleston church massacre, Charlottesville… where I have to lie down. I no longer have it in me to find the way forward, to come up with suggestions, to look for the light.

I tried – I pulled out a pen and paper and tried to find clearer words to express what I was trying to say with the Central Park post re: advocating for policy/law change to help defang one specific part of systemic racism – the ability to lie to the police, attempt to use them as personal assassins and get away with it – but what I ended up writing down instead was a list of stories I’ve read recently that had been getting to me but I had not consciously acknowledged their deleterious affect:

Ahmaud Arbery

Breonna Taylor and her boyfriend

NFL listing Colin Kaepernick as “retired”

Disproportionate numbers of Black and Brown people dying from COVID-19

Armed White protestors intimidating lawmakers with NO police response

Swarms of park and beach parties – participants overwhelmingly White

Joe Biden’s “you ain’t Black” comment

The GOP and PROGRESSIVE’s weaponization of Joe Biden’s “you ain’t Black” comment

Children being deported from the border back to countries of origin WITH NO parent/guardian notified and no provisions put in place for their safety

A doctor friend’s post with the long list of names of doctors and healthcare providers who had lost their lives while combatting the COVID-19 crisis

The morning’s post on GBN about three Black men in Cleveland wrongly imprisoned for decades finally receiving $18 million from the city

After all that came out of me, I gave up trying to write out what I still couldn’t find words for. So I got up, focused on the home evening routine, and thought maybe after a good night’s sleep I might feel recharged or at least a little bit clearer and able to process it all.

Nope.

I woke up in the dark with Amy Cooper on my mind. There was something about that particular incident that contained some crucial connective tissue to all of the above that I still couldn’t find the words to express. Overtly, I knew it was about entitlement and feeling no compunction about weaponizing racist infrastructures, but there was something unnamed going on I needed to pinpoint, which was about more than one individual acting badly and, in my opinion, violently.

I couldn’t go back to sleep so I got out of bed before 5am to take the dog for an early walk. Maybe that would clear my head. I put on my headphones so I could listen to the “Hit Parade” episode on Lady Gaga as a welcome distraction (random pop culture aside: the “Hit Parade” podcast which my pal Teddy hipped me to is SO GOOD! Check it out if you love pop music history).

Twenty minutes later, my little Maltese Daisy had me all the way up the hill that ends at the beginning of the Mulholland trail. I am sweating and singularly transfixed by host Chris Molanphy’s analysis of all four “A Star Is Born” movies and what distinguishes Gaga’s turn at bat from Barbra’s, Judy’s and Janet’s.

Daisy and I normally don’t go on the trail because there are too many people up there with no masks in too narrow a space. But it was so early and there were no cars (indicating people already on the trail) and Daisy was curious, so we went up a small ways into it.

After a minute or two I decided to turn us around because the trail was getting narrow and some bikers or hikers could be coming down at any moment and I didn’t want to deal. As we were making our way out, I chose the fork to the right because it’s a little smoother grade and gives a better view of oncoming traffic.

But just as we head that way, a man with no mask and his unleashed 65-lb. dog come up towards us on that same fork. I react by immediately pulling Daisy towards the left and walking down the other way. This man’s unleashed dog keeps coming towards us. The man DOES NOTHING.

Daisy starts to get agitated and turns because the dog is coming at us. Daisy is 7 lbs. wet and leashed so I can control her, but her resistance and the rocks and the slope of the path make it more difficult to hustle away quickly and safely. The dog keeps coming, the man still does NOTHING, so I myself say “No!” to the dog. His dog ignores me, keeps coming.

Finally, the man calls the dog’s name. The dog turns its head for a moment but then still proceeds to come our way! I hustle as fast as I can down the other side of the fork and the dog finally trots back towards its master. The man says nothing and proceeds with his back turned from me as if this is all okay. I yell after him from a safe distance, “Your dog should be on a leash!” Because leash laws, which apply to this trail and all the streets surrounding it. He does not turn around. He ignores me and heads up the trail.

Well, that was it for Lady Gaga. I couldn’t concentrate on the podcast anymore so I turned it off and walked back down the hill with Daisy in silence. So much for forgetting about Amy Cooper. And that’s when it crystallized for me what the problem with that guy was and what the problem with Amy was.

They cared only about their freedom, their dog’s freedom and nothing about mine or Christian Cooper’s. And not (at first) in an aggressive or even a conscious way. It’s just something that neither this man nor Amy chose to factor into how they go into a public space.

They know the laws but want to ignore them when they think no one is around. And if someone else does show up – they are the ones who are annoyed! They don’t seem to have a conversation with themselves ahead of time or even in the moment that might go “Okay, I know I’m not following the rules/law, but if I do come across someone who is bothered or in any way put out by that, I’ll yield.”

And that was it. That is the most insidious, underlying aspect of entitlement – of supremacy – be it based on gender, creed, sexual preference, class or race – even when I’m wrong, even when I’m in a shared public space with rules and laws governing it for everyone’s protection, I DO NOT HAVE TO YIELD. Other people need to get out of my way. Cater to my choices. Even when I’m wrong, because the rules don’t apply to me. Or my dog. Only to others.

I was simultaneously angry and grateful in this moment. Angry because I had to yield and change my path to stay safe even though this guy was completely in the wrong. And I bet he’s not given one more thought to this morning’s moment, because unlike me, HE DOESN’T HAVE TO.

And yes, he was a White guy. (BTW, for what it’s worth, I do not think this was a racial incident in any conscious way because this guy did not know I would be there. But it IS racial because of his subconscious sense of entitlement that laws don’t apply to him when he doesn’t want them to, and there will be little to no consequence for him.) Grateful, because I think I finally found the words that are a good place to start for people who want to do the work to bring about equity, justice and safety for all:

Observe who you won’t yield to, then think about why. Observe others who won’t yield to others, then think about why.

Thank you for reading. I feel clearer now. Stronger. And ready to look for the light again.

Love,

Lori

22 Comments

  1. alisonmcghee alisonmcghee May 28, 2020

    Dear Lori, thank you for this post. Thank you for all your posts (I have been subscribed to Good Black News for a few years now) and for all the light you put into the world. My heart is so heavy about both Amy Cooper, for all the reasons you state here, and for George Floyd, who was murdered twenty blocks from my house in Minneapolis. The city was in upheaval, flames, looting, violence only a couple of blocks from my house all last night. I forced myself to watch the whole video. Rage-cried. It was murder. The cops should be behind bars and I’ll work toward that. And as a white person I have to do so much more. It’s up to white people to undo this supremacist system, like it’s up to men to undo sexism. Today I’m beginning the process of switching my banking to One United – it’ll take a while to untangle all the threads of autopayments, etc., but this is one small thing I can do. There are so many small things I can do. Your ending words, “Observe who you won’t yield to, then think about why. Observe others who won’t yield to others, then think about why,” are so concise and illuminating. Thank you.

    • goodblacknews goodblacknews Post author | May 28, 2020

      AlisonmcGhee I really appreciate you literally putting your money where your mouth is! Thank you for wanting to do anti-racism work & for getting that. Onward and upward!

  2. Kris Faatz Kris Faatz May 28, 2020

    Thank you. I was thinking yesterday about how “privilege” means “private law” and all the various ways that my white privilege has helped me even without my conscious awareness. This idea that the rules don’t have to apply to me, if I don’t want them to, is unsettling and profoundly accurate. I’m very glad to have this greater awareness.

  3. patchworkmomma patchworkmomma May 28, 2020

    This is such an important post. Thank you for naming what many of us instinctively feel but do not have the words to articulate. “Observe who you won’t yield to, then think about why. Observe others who won’t yield to others, then think about why.”

  4. esteefee piper esteefee piper May 28, 2020

    This crystalizes so much for me about thoughts on white and rich entitlement that have been swimming around in my head since the start of the pandemic especially. Thank you. And bless you always for wading through the worst to bring us the good, the uplifting, the hopeful.

  5. Margery LaRue Margery LaRue May 28, 2020

    Thank you. Well stated.

  6. Megan Hazen Megan Hazen May 28, 2020

    Thank you.

  7. Catherine McNaughton Catherine McNaughton May 28, 2020

    Lori, I am grateful for your work – and this post, you lay it out so clearly. I’m sharing it with family, friends, – anyone I can. I have to do what I can to make others aware of white privilege, and the pain, suffering, and fear African Americans live with every day. I am so disturbed, sad and angry. All I could do was scream through the video footage of the murder of George Floyd last night.
    Thank you.

  8. CourtneyinLA CourtneyinLA May 28, 2020

    Well put–who do I and others not yield to, and why? I share your feelings. And it’s upsetting to me that you felt this man’s complete lack of concern about following rules or obeying laws that are meant to protect EVERYONE. Also, I am so relieved you and Daisy got through that scary experience without being physically harmed.

  9. leannegrossman leannegrossman May 28, 2020

    White people must speak truth to power, but equally important, we must speak truth to ourselves so we can work to overcome our white-centeredness and white supremacy. We must own up to how we perpetuate the system.

  10. Chris Molanphy Chris Molanphy May 29, 2020

    This was an excellent framing of the everyday ways white privilege manifests in the world. I am sorry you had this experience, however fleeting, and even more sorry the specter of danger caused by hegemonic, unthinking caucasians plagues your psyche. No one should have to live like that.

    Also, not incidentally, I am touched, humbled and gratified that my podcast has been providing a respite for you. But no wonder you couldn’t focus on finishing my Gaga episode that day! Thank you so much for listening.

    • goodblacknews goodblacknews Post author | May 29, 2020

      Ty so much for your words and your response, Chris! I was able to finish the Gaga episode on yesterday’s hike – today me and Daisy knocked off CCR. But my all-time favorite was your Donna Summer episode. As I wrote to my pal Teddy the morning I finished that one: “Just have to share that Donna Summer episode was the best one I’ve heard yet. Had me in tears at the end to hear her so thoughtfully & thoroughly honored and appreciated (also loved his personal anecdotes about his favorite Donna song as well as his dedication to his cousin) AND to hear a proper analysis of the impulses behind “disco sucks” from a white male music critic was some unexpected ally ship I didn’t realize how much I wanted to hear.” Please keep doing what you do, with the level of honesty and accountability that you do it. Trust me, we hear it, and it makes a difference!

      • Chris Molanphy Chris Molanphy May 29, 2020

        So great to hear! When I am asked what’s my favorite Hit Parade episode, I usually start by saying they’re like my children and it’s hard to pick one—but then I usually confess the Donna Summer episode is my favorite. You can tell how personal that one was for me.

        Anyway, it means to much to me that you appreciate what I am bringing to these stories—and yes, I try to take my allyship seriously. Bless.

  11. Pam Fouillard Pam Fouillard May 29, 2020

    Lori, My heart breaks that our world is like this. I admittedly live in a naive happy bubble where I hope and want people to be good. Yet horrible things happen like to George FLoyd and I was sick. Teared up. Was angry. I was ashamed to be white. I have never ever understood the difference color has mad yet hundreds of years ago white people made a choice that black skin was inferior and sadly that still exist. If ones a good person. What difference should it ever make. I hope with all my heart that this will open more eyes to the horrible things that go on. Even in my happy bubble my eyes are wide open. ❤️

  12. MS MS May 29, 2020

    We are on the same train sister. And, it’s not just ‘laws don’t apply’ but it’s moral/ethical values that don’t apply. It’s any other human’s rights can’t possibly match their own.

  13. TheChattyIntrovert TheChattyIntrovert May 29, 2020

    I’ve been wondering for years when “obey the laws because there’s right and there’s wrong and it’s good for everyone” suddenly turned to “if you’re not caught, it’s not wrong.” I’ve seen this come about not just from youngsters, but adults, too. Sometimes ignorance is at play. Regarding dogs, I live in the sticks so one runs generally free around my yard and says hi to my closest neighbors, but I’ve never taken her to a dog park because I don’t know what she would do and I don’t know the rules well enough (live pretty far from one anyway). I wouldn’t want to hurt anybody or their dog or inconvenience them through my ignorance and my dog’s behavior–she loves everyone but is pretty snooty toward other dogs, and I know that.

    Anyway, you really hit it on the head when you said “Observe who you won’t yield to, then think about why. Observe others who won’t yield to others, then think about why.” That’s damn good advice. We all need to be more observant and reflective, because what has been all along just doesn’t work.

    Spock was right when he said “as a matter of cosmic history, it has always been easier to destroy than to create.” Well, Dump opened the “no rules” dam and I’m afraid it’s gonna take decades to push back or drain the flood of racism, sexism, and all those things that come out of that pumpkin head of his. There’s just too much. And too much senseless death as a result over the most trivial of reasons (if any reasons at all).

    Be well, all, and virtual hugs. Hoping for the best to everyone and an end to stupid, reckless hate.

  14. Allison Allison June 4, 2020

    You are “spot on” with this thread…..the entitlement. I am a white woman raised in the south in the 70’s who grew up as a rule follower. There are those who don’t wear masks in the community during this pandemic because they think that because they are young, or healthy, or wealthy, or whatever, that they cannot get sick from COVID-19. Sometimes it isn’t just about what you want, but it is about doing what is right for everyone.

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